Reconciling Ministries Network

Rock On, FUMC Pasadena Youth!

On October 23, 2011, First United Methodist Church Pasadena (California) voted to become a Reconciling Congregation. In the months of preparation to become a Reconciling Congregation, the Youth voted to become a “Reconciling Youth Group” (Reconciling Community). As part of the process, the Youth of FUMC Pasadena created a statement to be presented to the congregation regarding the vote to become a Reconciling Congregation. After much discussion, the youth broke into groups to develop ideas and principles that we wanted to see included in the statement. This is the statement that our Youth Group worked on together:

Youth Statement on Becoming a Reconciling Congregation

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Last year, our youth group's theme was "Youth with a Voice." This year, we have chosen as our theme, "Acceptance." Today we stand before you, using our collective voice, to ask for acceptance for all.   

Acceptance of ourselves, the opinions of others, different traditions and lifestyles, things we can change and things we cannot change, decisions that we make, and even illness and death as part of life. The area we feel extremely passionate about is acceptance of people in our church regardless of who you are --including your sexual orientation. 

Many of us interpret the Bible in different ways, but WE understand God’s primary message to be about love:

Romans 13:8 - Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.

John 4:7 - Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times.

And of course, as we follow the Golden Rule, we remember to "do unto others as (we) would have them do unto (us)." (Matthew 7:12)

Matthew 22:37-39 - Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 

If we are called to love one another, we cannot sit in judgment of others – only God is our judge. FUMC Pasadena and this congregation has taught us that we are all made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26-27) and God loves everyone – therefore we should love everyone equally.

We believe we must stand up for each other, just as Jesus did for the Woman at the well, for the sick man lowered through the roof by his friends, the dying child, for the poor and oppressed; the prisoners, the widows, and the orphans. Therefore, we the Youth of First United Methodist Church Pasadena – and the future of the United Methodist Church – do pledge to love, accept, and cherish all people; regardless of race, ethnicity, age, socio-economic status, religion, class, gender, education, physical or mental ability, marital status, or sexual orientation. We refuse to tolerate discrimination of any kind. ALL MEANS ALL.

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Submitted by Rev. Allison Mark, First United Methodist Church Pasadena, CA

5 Ways to Make a Reconciling Resolution for 2012

As the new year approaches, many people make resolutions or set goals for 2012. I want to suggest 5 ways to make a resolution that moves The United Methodist Church closer toward full inclusion for all God's children.

1. Prayers

Pray for a fully inclusive church. Pray for General Conference 2012, for the delegates to General Conference, and for the volunteers and staff who are headed to Tampa. Pray for the local church of which you are a part, wherever it may be in the reconciling process (or not). Pray for people you know who need to hear that God's love includes them. Pray for the IRD, the Good News Movement, and others who have different understandings of what the Gospel means. Remember that prayer means listening, too, and responding to what God calls all of us to do.  

2. Presence

Be present at the local church of which you are part. If you can, be present for local or conference-wide Reconciling events, or even General Conference. Be present for the people you know and whomever God might put in your path who needs a Reconciling friend.

3. Gifts

Consider making a gift to RMN. What a great way to honor someone who has touched your life! Perhaps you feel called to make RMN a regular part of your spiritual practice of tithing.

4. Service

RMN has a whole webpage devoted to explaining how to get involved in service! There's also a range of possibilities in the local church to which you relate. And don't forget the many ways to be of service in the micro-politics of everyday conversation and interaction.

5. Witness

Tell your story! Why are you a Reconciling United Methodist? Why does the full humanity off all God's children matter to you, and why is it important within The United Methodist Church? Whether you seek opportunities to share your story or simply welcome those that come along, be open to the movement of the Spirit as chances to offer a word of witness present themselves. 

 

What is your Reconciling Resolution?

 

The Signs of Love Conquering Fear Are Everywhere!

A Letter from the RMN Board of Directors

The signs of love conquering fear are everywhere! Supporters of Reconciling Ministries are doing more than ever before. The RMN Called to Witness campaigns in 2011 celebrated 67 regional events where 1595 reconciling persons engaged strategy, reconciling process, public narrative storytelling, and building teams. Of the 682 participants at Sing a New Song, over 100 were young adults.  We placed 500 calls to United Methodist delegates to General Conference. We gave $891,812 to support the mission locally, regionally, nationally, and internationally through Reconciling Ministries Network.

Your generosity made it possible for RMN to gather in coalition with the Methodist Federation for Social Action and Affirmation in early 2011 to plan Love Your Neighbor for both a regional and churchwide impact. Now we are living into the reality of a multinational church and underwrote our first staff persons to engage central conference relationships. You even helped us contract with media experts to conduct focus groups in Cote d'Ivoire and test messages in Uganda, Liberia, South Africa, and other countries to find common cause and build bridges.

Meaning What We Say, Saying What We Mean

by Leland G. Spencer IV

In my everyday life, I study rhetoric. That means I read and write a lot about messages--what they do, what they mean, and a variety of ways to think about them. Sometimes, I get accused of "reading too much into things," and I often wonder if I do read too much into things or if my accusers just accept messages superficially without reading into them at all.

In that spirit, I have to confess that I'm baffled by two messages I've seen in the last few weeks. Maybe I'm reading too much into them, but I don't suspect so. I believe I'm perceiving messages that might not be obvious at first glance, but that deserve a second thought.

First, I visited a church while I was traveling a few weeks ago, and a bulletin insert said, "All church dinner, Thursday night. Get a babysitter--this one is ADULTS ONLY." In this case, I was alarmed at the church's narrow definition of "All church." Evidently, only adults are a part of this church. What are the children? A nuissance? The church of the future? I'm not sure. Oh, and lest we think all adults are included, remember that adults with children are only welcome if they can find a babysitter, so the hosts of the church dinner must define "All church" as middle-class adults, adults with no children, or adults with older children. Am I against adult-only activities? No! But there are ways to have such activities without prohibitively defining "church" to include only certain people. How about "Adult Night Out--drop the kids at church where free childcare is being provided, and come for a tasty dinner at 7pm!"

Last week, as I was on the way to a "Love Your Neighbor" training session, I passed a UM church whose sign advertised a "Fall Festival for Everyone." Here, the definitional problems are extra-textual, as that sign by itself is benign. However, I've been to that church, and I know from experience that "Everyone" does not mean everyone. For people like me, that particular church is a place of violence, exclusion, and pain. The sign says it's for everyone, but it really means, "everyone who already thinks and believes like we do." When people do disagree with something in that church, they're asked to leave. Does that sound like a place for everyone?

In both cases, the messages communicated are dangerous. In the first place, "All church" is defined too narrowly. In the second, the message of welcome isn't genuine. I offered a solution for the first problem, but the second is more complex and has implications for Reconciling Communities and Reconciling Individuals. Anyone can put "Fall Festival for Everyone" or "All are Welcome" on a church sign. Living out that welcome is a different and more difficult matter. From my point of view, it's better not to have a welcoming statement than to have one that isn't genuine.

How do you define "everyone"? What does "All" mean to you?

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Leland G. Spencer IV, a lifelong United Methodist, is a PhD candidate in the department of communication studies at the University of Georgia, where he researches religious rhetoric as it intersects with gender and sexuality. Leland holds an graduate certificate in Women's Studies from the University of Georgia (2011) and an MA in Communication from the University of Cincinnati (2009). While in Cincinnati, Leland served as the worship intern at the Wesley Foundation. Leland is a 2007 graduate of Mount Union College (now known as University of Mount Union), a United Methodist-related school in Alliance, Ohio. Leland served as a part-time local pastor at Mapleton United Methodist Church in the East Ohio Conference from 2005 until 2007 when Leland withdrew from the candidacy process because of the United Methodist Church's exclusive position about the ordination of LGB persons.

Did the World Get Smaller?

by Rev. Troy Plummer

When I was asked to look at Swahili for a resource for General Conference delegates, I was both amazed and a bit stunned.  I knew that it was coming.  I knew we had applied and received a grant for media and multilingual resources for print and for the internet, but it still felt different to actually see the mastheads in Portuguese, French and Swahili.  I knew we were doing focus groups in English and French in Africa among United Methodists.

I also knew that as a coalition we were going to hire a Cross-Culture Common Witness Coordinator and had watched the RMN board identify funds and make personal pledges so that it would happen.

I knew, but it didn’t really seem real until I saw the job posting for the Cross-Culture Witness Coordinator go out on the e-digests for RMN and for MFSA.  Then I knew at an even deeper level when the position was funded through the entirety of 2012 and into 2013.  It was real.

For decades, Reconciling United Methodists have built relationships with United Methodists from around the world—in service and partnership, in common cause and Gospel care.  We have heard story after story of connections made and of the desire to advance these relationship but just did not have the resources to do so.  But with the faithful generosity of many, now we do.  Did the world get a bit smaller or just a bit closer?

If you know someone who would be excited about faithfully, non-colonially, transforming our church and world, please let them know about this exciting opportunity with application information here:   http://mfsaweb.org/?p=5952 .

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Rev. Troy G. Plummer joined Reconciling Ministries Network as the executive director in November of 2003. RMN mobilizes United Methodists of all sexual orientations and gender identities to transform our Church and world into the full expression of Christ’s inclusive love. Troy organizes grassroots efforts coast-to-coast sharing an inclusive Gospel message. He coordinates biennial movement building convocations and provides leadership for LGBTQ equality through nonviolent witness and protest, legislative action, and coalition partnerships at the quadrennial General Conferences of the worldwide United Methodist Church. In 2007, he launched five-years of organizing campaigns to grow the movement.

Prior to RMN, Troy served for 13 years on the pastoral staff of Bering Memorial United Methodist Church in Houston, Texas. He directed Bering’s on-site counseling center for those affected by HIV/AIDS. Outside Bering’s sanctuary in 1999, he performed a “street wedding” for a lesbian couple celebrating 25 years together and facilitated Bering’s equal treatment of all couples policy. He also coordinated Bible Study, mission trips, retreats, and nonviolence training. Facing a bomb threat with 50 other couples, Troy and Walter, shared promises and rings on Freedom To Marry Day, February 12, 2003 for their 5th anniversary.

Hearing a New Song

By Peter L. DeGroote

I will pour out of My Spirit upon all flesh:
And your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
your young shall see visions,
your old shall dream dreams…Acts 2…

Those refreshing, even consoling words ran through the mind of this 71 year old as I departed Sing a New Song. After 35 years of glbt activism, 31 being primarily related to the UMC, I had become accustomed to disappointment with the church. A friend for most of that period had begun wondering if he had the energy to continue the struggle.  

We were able to set the weariness aside because we had heard our sons and daughters speak the truth. (In the New Testament prophesy is truth telling.) Not biological sons and daughters but those who have taken up the reconciling banner and given it new energy, direction, words, and song. Hearing and feeling their guiding visions, we were left to the luxury of once again dreaming the dreams we had come to doubt. 

No, we are not prepared to abandon the reconciling movement; it has been a place of safety, even a home for too many years. But I am aware that I don’t always understand what young folks are doing, or the reasons behind their strategies, but I usually like the results.  That’s a good reason to get out of their way, cheer them on, and support them when they ask. Their new energy, many changes in the church, and our changing social geography offers them unique opportunities to accomplish what has been so elusive in the past.

And I am once more able to celebrate the past. Years ago, a small group of clergy and seminary students reacted to the 1972 General Conference claim that “homosexuality” is incompatible with Christian teachings by either leaving the ordained ministry or abandoning their call to ordination. They did not abandon the church, the church had abandoned them. In a demonstration of their integrity, faithfulness, and commitment to the church, they recruited others and formed Affirmation, United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. I discovered them in 1979; the memory of their witness has been a continuing inspiration for me. 

Some of those witnesses have left us but many are still around, many have gone on to significant accomplishment in other arenas. Affirmation was the early foundation on which the reconciling movement was built. We do not need to know the history to observe that it is now a complex network that includes a great diversity of lgbt folks, as well as our parents and friends.

Poke around in the UMC a bit and you will see the movement’s impact. In addition to the many reconciling congregations and fellowships, you will discover the meaning of reconciliation being explored in congregations, Sunday school classes, choirs, student groups, conference groups, and even some of our national church agencies. Again and again we are rediscovering that the reconciliation we claim in Christ was not given to us to selectively dispense but a gift we are obligated to share with all, including lgbt folks. 

You will also discover retired bishops who have now found their prophetic voice urging the General Conference to change the Discipline. Our sitting bishops, having offered a call to action meant to renew the church, remain silent when it comes to lgbt folks; or, better said, ignoring the elephant in the room. (Even so, a confidential source reports that the bishops are seeking to halt church trials over lgbt issues because they have proven both embarrassing and too expensive.)

Explore a little further and you will discover that, despite occasional charges and trials in the past, some clergy and congregations have been long celebrating holy unions between same gender couples and, now that a number of civil jurisdictions allow marriage or civil unions without regard to gender, those are also being celebrated. Further, some conferences have been routinely approving candidates for ordination without regard to their sexual orientation, the incompatibility language being ignored.

If you are lucky you will find the joy of being a witness to the baptism of an adopted child of a same gender couple. It is increasingly common for a simple reason: How can you deny baptism to a child? As their same gender parents bring their child forward, grandparents, witnesses, and godparents join them, bearing witness to the meaning of family in a way that cannot be denied.

So, what’s the bottom line? Even though I confess to a bit of weariness, Sing a New Song gave me a chance to be thankful for what has been wrought. More important, I know I can be thankful for what is to come. I am excited by the new and young voices. I am moved by their boldness, willingness to claim loves and loyalties, and fearlessness in standing their ground. They have brought us a new song. It is worth singing.

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Peter is a second career pastor who has served in several churches in the Baltimore-Washington Conference. Prior to his ordination, he was a secondary-school teacher, a university lecturer in Government, an Associate in a government related professional association, CEO of a national financial institution. Peter was involved in Mid-Atlantic Affirmation, served on the National Council of Affirmation, and sat on the Board of the Reconciling Congregations Program, the predecessor name for RMN and has worked with BWARM (Baltimore-Washington Reconciling United Methodists).

Holy Ground at Annual Conference

Rev. Sharon Seyfarth Garner - Lakeside, Ohio   June 2011

Here are a few words that you won’t often hear in relation to clergy session at Annual Conference – “We were standing on Holy Ground.”  However, this year at the East Ohio Annual Conference Clergy Executive Session, there we stood.  We experienced the power of a prophetic moment as we honored the decision of one of our beloved colleagues to leave the United Methodist Church and transfer her ordination credentials to a denomination that would honor both who God called her to be and who God created her to be.

We were progressing through the usual, long list of votes when we came to the transfer of credentials to another denomination. Our “yes” vote opened the door for Rev. Jennifer Steinfurth Brown to say farewell to the United Methodist Church and to begin a meaningful, new chapter of ministry.   When Jennifer stood to request a moment of personal privilege, the Holy Spirit rushed in like a mighty wind and filled the auditorium.  Dozens of colleagues rose and stood silently to show our support for Jennifer and to honor the years of dynamic ministry that she had shared with us.  As Jennifer began to speak, the Bishop stopped her.  She was “out of order” by attending the clergy session since she had technically transferred her membership several months ago, and we had just affirmed this by a formal vote moments before.  He was doing what those in charge are expected to do – uphold the rules.  However, this moment of holy conferencing was bigger than the “rules.”  I believe that our Bishop recognized this when he went on to say that Jennifer would be allowed to speak if someone from within the conference would invite her to do so. A clergy colleague made the necessary motion, and the subsequent show of hands became yet another sign of our collective affirmation.

With great courage and grace, Rev. Jennifer Steinfurth Brown began to speak again.  The Pentecostal presence of the Holy Spirit swirled in our midst. She shared words of love for the United Methodist church that had nurtured her since her birth.  She shared that she had been called to ministry even before she understood her own sexual identity.  She shared her struggle in the discernment process that led her to the faith-filled decision to leave her beloved United Methodist Church and join a communion that could embrace both her call to ministry and her sexuality.  She was bravely telling the truth of her own story.  As she spoke, additional colleagues who were moved by her words rose silently to show their support.  We stood together - humbled, amazed, tear-streaked and proud of the brave witness by our friend and colleague.  We were standing on Holy Ground.

As is often the case with transformative moments, there is both a sense of joy for new beginnings and sorrow for what will no longer be.  I am filled with profound joy that Jennifer has found a place where she can openly be the minister that God has called her to be. She can share her beautiful, blended family with her congregation. She will thrive! Yet, I am also filled with profound sorrow that our United Methodist Church was unable to embrace her on this journey. It is truly our loss. I began my own journey into ministry in the same Probationary Cluster as Jennifer over 15 years ago. I consider her to be one of my closest colleagues and dearest friends. Not only do I miss her now, but I miss the shared ministry that we would have celebrated together as lifelong United Methodist clergy. My heart is aching.

I pray for the day when the Spirit of Pentecost will permeate our church – when each one of us will be empowered to speak the truth of our own story and all will be understood. Only then will our beloved ‘cross and flame’ truly represent the tongues of fire that proclaim God’s love to all people.

Download Methodist Good Bye Speech

The Not So Impossible Dream

by Violet Fenn

With the recent amazing developments from several Annual Conferences, including resolutions passed to eliminate the “incompatible with Christian teaching” section from the Book of Discipline, and the church trial of Rev. Amy DeLong, I have been pondering about my future in the United Methodist Church. I am a transgender woman and currently identify as a lesbian. Right now, the latter would automatically prevent me from ordination. Despite this, I am currently in seminary and plan on beginning the process to pursue ordination.

Why am I doing this? One of the reasons is that I’m a dreamer. I dream of the day that the United Methodist Church will be fully inclusive of everyone and anyone called to the ministry will be able to be ordained.

I’m a lover of Broadway musicals. One song that I’ve kept coming back to is “The Impossible Dream” from the musical Man of La Mancha. The lead character, Don Quixote is a dreamer. Unfortunately, his dreams are in some ways unrealistic and delusional. In fact, he believes his romantic interest, Aldonza, is a lady of nobility when in reality she’s a prostitute. Despite all of the evidence to the contrary, Don Quixote refuses to believe her. At one point in the musical, Aldonza asks him why he goes around doing good deeds and believes her to be something she isn’t. He replies by singing “The Impossible Dream.” His quest is to “fight the unbeatable foe,” “right the unrightable wrong,” and “run where the brave dare not go.” His optimism is admirable, but sadly it’s an unrealistic pursuit.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call the naysayers foes, but of course there are Methodists against full inclusion and I would venture to say that many view our work as impossible as Don Quixote’s quest. It’s not an impossible task. Evidence of this comes from the resolutions passed by several Annual Conferences as well as statements from clergy pledging to perform same-sex unions. We are closer than ever before and we can’t stop now.

This is why I am attending Sing A New Song in August. I can sense change in the air and it’s given me another boost to keep pursuing the dream we all have. The dream is fantastic and closer to coming true. To quote from another musical, The Sound of Music, we should “climb ev’ry mountain, ford ev’ry stream, follow every rainbow ‘til you find your dream.” Keep on singing, keep on climbing. Keep the dream alive.

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Violet Fenn is currently a United Methodist in exile due to a lack of reconciling congregations in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she lives and is attending a UCC church. She began her gender transition in 2008 and has been active working against bigotry and intolerance for many years. She is active in MOSAIC and the leader of its TransJustice working group. This fall, she is beginning the next chapter of her journey by attending Phillips Theological Seminary in Tulsa for a Master's in Divinity. Despite the bigotry and transphobia she has experienced at the hands of a UMC congregation, she believes that the Methodist Church will become open and affirming of everyone in the LGBTQ community.

"Forgive them, for they know not what they do."

In the last several weeks, I've been reflecting on a scripture passage that most of us will hear soon as we approach Holy Week: Jesus' prayer from the cross, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." What I've been thinking about is whether such a prayer is appropriate to borrow in my own experience, particularly related to the often difficult work of being a voice and presence of reconciliation.

As I mentioned in my previous entry on this blog, sometimes the work we do as Reconciling United Methodists is difficult. Sometimes, we're called to have conversations with hostile people or called to be vocally and visibly present in places where our voices and bodies are not welcome.

Still, I hesitate to respond too hastily and hyperbolically to opposition. I don't want to make flippant comparisons between my own situation the crucifixion of Jesus. Neither do I want to suggest that people who disagree with me--and are doing their best to be faithful--are willfully and stubbornly ignorant. Even so, I would be dishonest if I said that some of the conversations I have had in the last few weeks were easy to brush off. Indeed, some were more than just difficult. Some were downright hurtful.

For now, I've concluded that I can use that prayer for myself, as long as I also use it on myself. I pray that God will forgive those who hurt me and people like me, and I acknowledge that perhaps they do not know the impact of their positions. However, I must also recognize my own incompleteness. I, too, sin. I, too, grieve God's heart and hurt people. Just as I pray, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do," I must also pray, "Forgive me, for I know not what to do. Creative and Creating God, search me and reveal to me those places and times where my own ignorance and arrogance causes pain and brokenness in relationships."

May this be our prayer for those who hurt us, and may this be our prayer for ourselves.

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Leland G. Spencer IV, a lifelong United Methodist, is a PhD student in the department of communication studies at the University of Georgia, where he researches religious rhetoric as it intersects with gender and sexuality. Leland holds an M.A. in Communication from the University of Cincinnati (2009). While in Cincinnati, Leland served as the worship intern at the Wesley Foundation. Leland served as a part-time local pastor at Mapleton United Methodist Church in the East Ohio Conference from 2005 until 2007 when Leland withdrew from the candidacy process because of the United Methodist Church's exclusive position about the ordination of LGBT persons.

I Will Not Go Quietly

Recently, I learned that Chad Holtz, a recent graduate of Duke Divinity School who was serving as a United Methodist local pastor in North Carolina was fired for questioning the existence of hell. Here is a link to his blog post about it. This disturbing incident prompted me to think about the risks that we Reconciling Methodists take every time we work towards inclusion of LGBTQ people in the UMC.

     Currently, I am a student at Phillips Theological Seminary in Tulsa, Oklahoma. As far as I know, I am the first transgender student the seminary has had. Back in 2009, the UMC church I attended in Tulsa was no longer welcoming to me and I became a member of a congregation of the United Church of Christ.Despite not being a member of the UMC, I was still active in RMN and MOSAIC. This fall, I am transferring to Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Chicago and coming back to the United Methodist Church, the church that I love. God has called me to be what a friend has termed a "holy rabble rouser." I am not the only one.

     Despite the very real risks that we face, we continue to fight for full-inclusion of LGBTQ persons in the UMC. Despite being told that we are of sacred worth, we are denied even the possibility of ordination because homosexuality is "incompatible with Christian teaching." Despite the attempts to silence us, we scream with indignation and make our voice heard, even if it's one small voice in the crowd. If your voice is small, keep using it. Many small voices will eventually be heard. The battle for inclusion has been a long, hard, and painful one. We mustn't give up. In spite of the attempts to silence us, we cannot go quietly. We are fighting a good fight. To quote John Wesley: "Do all the good you can, ...By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can To all the people you can As long as ever you can!"

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Violet Fenn is currently a United Methodist in exile due to a lack of reconciling congregations in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she lives and is attending a UCC church. She began her gender transition in 2008 and has been active working against bigotry and intolerance for many years. She is active in MOSAIC and the leader of its TransJustice working group. This fall, she is beginning the next chapter of her journey by attending Phillips Theological Seminary in Tulsa for a Master's in Divinity. Despite the bigotry and transphobia she has experienced at the hands of a UMC congregation, she believes that the Methodist Church will become open and affirming of everyone in the LGBTQ community.