Reconciling Ministries Network

A Prayer for Haiti

by Dr. Pamela Lightsey

O God, we have been stunned once again by an event
Which seems so unnatural and yet is called "natural disaster."

We have no words to answer the "why" which we feel,
No wisdom to explain away the unexplainable areas of life.

Keep us from attributing this event as a heavenly reprimand,
Or from a certain haughtiness that tempts the distant soul.

Give us to be compassionate and gentle, servants to those in need.
Remind us of your gracious love in the midst of sorrow,
And your ability to work miracles when hope is faint.

We pray for those who suffer in Haiti even now
And for those who await rescue.
For relatives, for the children,
For mothers and fathers,
Sisters and brothers,
Grandparents, aunts and cousins.
For the survivors who question what more they might have done.
And for those who must keep on keeping on, in spite of.
For the leaders,
For those who bring aid
And those who await news.
Strengthen and encourage them we pray.

Now unto you, O God, we take the burdens of this hour and place them in your divine care.

For all you do and are doing, seen and unseen, we give thee thanks, Eternal God of All Creation.

Amen.

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Dr. Lightsey is an accomplished and dynamic scholar, speaker, professor and preacher! She currently serves as Dean of Students at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. Her work in the areas of children and youth ministry, leadership development and church growth earned her the coveted Denman Evangelism Award from the United Methodist Church.

They Really Did Mean It!

By Dr. Pamela Lightsey

By now many of us have heard about or seen the photo of singer Rihanna after her alleged beating by boyfriend Chris Brown.  It's a troubling case.  What is also troubling is the unreported incidents of same-gender couples involved in domestic violence.  So let me say it, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HAPPENS IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY!  Not only is it a problem, but adding to this problem in some cases - not all - is the inadequate level of service and lack of genuine sensitivity provided by law enforcement personnel and domestic support services.  And - as with heterosexual couples - there are the many levels of enabling systems, myths, family members and friends who help these real life dramas to continue playing themselves out.

How do we highlight the tragic circumstances of victims of domestic abuse within the LGBTQ community amidst a cultural geared to support heteronormativity without reinforcing the stereotype image of all same-gender-loving relationships as dysfunctional?  Looking at the codified laws related to domestic violence, it has become increasingly apparent that we ought begin by ensuring that EVERY state has laws which safeguard ALL persons against domestic violence and that NO victim is denied protection.  Until this happens, many members of the LGBTQ community will continue to feel isolated and unwillingly to speak out abut their pain and the horror of their day to day living conditions.  Moreover, we must continue to work to ensure the equal rights of every LGBTQ person.  Until fear of being "outed" can no longer be used as a tool of oppression we will never even begin to come close to eradicating domestic violence within our communities. 

 

And finally, WE must speak out!  We should not turn our heads considering violence as mere "lover's quarrels".  We must not dismiss cases of rape as "misunderstandings".  And no, there's nothing "cute" about verbal abuse.

I'm sure many of you have stories you could tell to highlight the problem of domestic abuse in America. It's a serious issue.  We need to give it serious attention.

Witness for My Lord

By Dr. Pamela Lightsey

Episcopal Bishop V. Gene Robinson the first openly gay Episcopal bishop (or openly gay bishop of any mainline Protestant denomination - correct me if I'm wrong), has accepted an invitation to offer the invocation before the Lincoln Memorial at this Sunday's pre-inaugural event which President-elect Obama will reportedly be speaking at.  As you recall, this is the kind of demonstration of change that I addressed in an earlier blog I posted expressing my concern regarding the selection of Rev. Rick Warren to give the inaugural invocation. (See my post, "Can We?)  In that post, I suggested a joint invocation given by Rev. Warren and an LGBTQ minister.  Okay, so they almost got it right.

The selection of Bishop Robinson is a step in the right direction.  Yet, it's only a step.  Hopefully, in the days to come, we will see President-elect Obama demonstrating the inclusive nature of his presidency by making decisions positively impacting the lives of LGBTQ persons and clearly delivering those decisions as first-thought rather than appearing as second-thought.  As it stands, inviting Bishop Robinson to participate sets an example of our President-elect's will to inclusivity which our church has yet to grasp and exemplify.

As I think of this, I can help but long for the day when our church will have within its fold a self-identified LGBTQ bishop.  Indeed, I long for the day where the sexual identity of our clergy is not used against them in the ordination process.  Instead, our parishioners who long for social justice for LGBTQ persons see our own leading politician willing to embrace the ministry of an ordained clergy whom we would find unfit for such a historic invitation because according to our polity same gender loving persons are not afforded the same rights to ordination as persons who identify as heterosexual.

As I see it, Bishop Robinson will not only give an invocation, but also stands as a witness to what we call the "sacred worth" of all persons.  He is not a perfect man, neither is Rev. Warren.  Yet, God loves them both.  And it is with this in mind that I will be praying for Rev. Warren, Bishop Robinson, the catholic Church and the global world in which we live.

A Christmas Message

On December 2, 2008, Reconciling Ministries Network hosted an Advent Open House with the theme, "Gather Around the Manger". Rev. Dr. Pamela Lightsey, Dean of Students at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary gave the message, something to think about and take with us for Christmas and the New Year.

Scripture:
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us...John 1:14

During the message, Dr. Lightsey offered a gift in the form of a quote from Toni Morrison's book Beloved.

In Beloved, the character Baby Suggs, described as an "an unchurched preacher" is speaking to a gathering of former slaves and free African Americans:

"Here," she said, "in this here place, we flesh; flesh that weeps, laughs; flesh that dances on bare feet in grass. Love it. Love it hard. Yonder ...  they do not love your flesh. They despise it. They don't love your eyes; they'd just as soon pick em out. No more do they love the skin on your back. Yonder they flay it. And O my people they do not love your hands. Those they only use, tie, bind, chop off and leave empty. Love your hands! Love them. Raise them up and kiss them. Touch others with them, pat them together, stroke them on your face 'cause they don't love that either. You got to love it, you!...This is flesh I'm talking about here. Flesh that needs to be loved. (Beloved, p.88)

Can We?

By Dr. Pamela Lightsey

President-elect Barack Obama's decision to invite Pastor Rick Warren to give the inaugural invocation is a hard pill to swallow.  I don't like it, I don't like it, I don't like it.

 His reasoning:

"It is important for Americans to come together.  Even though we may have disagreement over certain social issues."

Partly right.  Americans do disagree.  However, LGBTQ equality is not a social issue but a quality of life issue.  It is a justice issue that strikes at the core of who we are as Americans.  This is a disagreement that demands resolution...quickly. 

Warren has done good work in other areas such as global poverty, HIV/AIDS and global warming.  Nevertheless, if ever there was a case of a fountain spewing sweet and bitter water at the same time, Rick Warren is a classic example.  His public protest against LGBTQ rights as well as his homophobic utterances taint whatever good intentions he might proclaim.

As an African American, I have learned to shield my spirit from oppression.  My foreparents refused to listen to certain biblical texts used to keep them in bondage.  Unless Warren repents prior to his prayer, I shall question not only the "preacher" but the efficaciousness of his prayer. 

So what shall we do?  It is my hope that we can come together.  How about a new approach to the inaugural invocation?  Let's do change this way: Have Warren and an LGBTQ minister give a joint invocation.

How about that for progress "toward a more perfect union"?  Should we send this suggestion to the President-elect?

What to Do When Your Pie Don't Love You

Dr. Pamela Lightsey

Friends, this one is just for your holiday joy!

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I have just returned home from washing a ton of clothes.  Ordinarily, the day before Thanksgiving I would be busy preparing a down-home Southern feast.  But oh no!  This year I decided not to cook but instead to buy my vittles.  Right now I could be enjoying a pre-Thanksgiving treat, delighting myself in the fact that I have clean underwear to last until next year.  That alone would be worth a slice of sweet potato pie with a nicely chilled glass of Bailey's liqueur.  But none of that this year!  You see that monstrosity to the left is a hoax dressed up in tin pie pan clothing.  Hmmph!  I should have taken the wrapping off the box and looked at this impostor before I took her out the bakery.  Any connoisseur of sweet potato pie could look at her and tell she is a cheap impression.  Hell, all dimpled up like that!  A true sweet potato pie would have a richly earthly appearance.  The spices of cinnamon and nutmeg would be clearly noticeable yet blending into the color and tone of the authentic dessert.  When you sample a piece of real sweet potato pie, you tongue almost wants to reach out and slap your face as if the pie is speaking and demanding, "Say my name.  Go 'head, say my name!"  Instead, I bit off into something that had the texture of wet bread.  Uugh!  Lord help me, I'll eat peanut butter and jelly tomorrow before I spend another penny on faux-Thanksgiving fixings!  At least I have my gin and juice...

A Top Priority

Dr. Pamela Lightsey

After the election of President-elect Obama we are hearing more and more of his transition to power, of the changes that lie ahead.  Though President-elect Obama has been cautious in his exchanges with reporters who are eager to hear his plans for America's future, he has not been timid with articulating what he considers as "top priorities" for our nation.

The passing of Proposition 8 which banned same-sex marriage in California shows not only the continued "prioritizing" work members of the Reconciling Movement must do to end the discrimination of LGBTQ persons but - in light of the racist tones of some Prop 8 protesters - the work we must do within our own community. 

That African Americans played a vital role in the passage of Proposition 8 was sad news indeed but frankly, it came as no surprise.  I know the homophobia of my people.  I continue to be disgusted by our will to ignorance.

Neither am I surprised that some white LGBTQ persons are "coming out" with their racism.  Their racist rants demonstrate the full colors of the family's rainbow have not been their concern.  White privilege is blind to such beauty.

But I wonder: Is the reconciling movement now willing to demonstrate in its work that racial reconciliation is not subordinate to its work to end the oppression of LGBTQ persons?  Will our movement now engage the subject of racial reconciliation within its mission, policies and practices not as sub-text or caucus but among its stated top priorities? 

How clear can it be?  If the voting power of African Americans and persons of color played such a key role in the politics of our country; when historically discriminatory white institutions solicit African American voting power by establishing allegiances based on homophobic ideologies, then why would we not immediately turn our attention to speaking truth to the power of racism, its presence in our midst and what steps we need take in our ministry among persons of color?

For the Victims of Ass-Whippings

By Dr. Pamela Lightsey

At a recent McCain campaign event, a Black conservative Republican, James T. Harris, who by the way is a Wisconsin radio talk show host made his entrance into sound-bite history.  Standing before Sen. McCain, with microphone in hand, Mr. Harris uttered this truth,"I doubt there's anyone in this room that's taking the - pardon me - the ass-whipping that I have taken for supporting you..." The crowd rose to give him a standing ovation.  For the most part, his opening statement and his presence in a crowd where African Americans are scarcely seen, drew both my respect and attention. Indeed, the African American community is rather hard on its Republican skin-folk. 

Though I take issue with much of the Republican platform, I don't begrudge Mr. Harris' political resolve. There is something about the voice of the marginalized declaring independence of thought that resonates with me. Maybe it's because as an African American fighting for the rights of LGBT within the church and especially within the Black community, I know a little something about taking an "ass-whipping." 

But unlike Mr. Harris, I have always taken my licks without grovelling.  Ending his remarks against Sen. Obama, Mr. Harris pleads with Sen. McCain, "I am begging you sir, I am begging you, take it to him."  Well, for all his arguments that African Americans are used by the Democratic party, Mr. Harris - who was reportedly hand-picked from the line waiting to get into the event and ushered to one of the best seats in the hall - was the poster child for racial profiling Republican style.

There was just something extremely wrong with that picture.  What was wrong was not what many have taken issue with: how dare a black man "beg" any white man given our history of oppression at the hands of white Americans?  Rather, what is most difficult about this picture is his willingness to debase himself before a man whose record on civil rights is deplorable.

Persons whose principles won't allow them to remain quiet in the face of injustice and oppression have a responsibility to consistently pick our battles wisely. If an ass-whipping is in the waiting, it's best we make sure we know who's really swinging the belt. Ouch!

Pandemic: HIV/AIDS Among African Americans

by Dr. Pamela Lightsey

According to the 2005 CDC report African Americans accounted for: 49% of New HIV/AIDS diagnoses, 65% of infants perinatally infected with HIV, 61% of persons under the age of 25 diagnosed with HIV/AIDS,and 50% of the AIDS cases diagnosed.  Among the "risk factors and barriers to prevention" listed in the study is homophobia and stigma.  While the CDC does not and cannot make this observation, it is my strong opinion that: In this 21st century, homophobia and stigma are THE PRIMARY barriers to prevention!

What prevailing support does the African American community, especially its churches offer African Americans who want to disclose their sexual orientation and live open, emotionally healthy lifestyles?  Some would say, "Not jack!"  In fact, the stigma placed upon black men who have sex with men (what the CDC calls "MSM") comes as ridicule and ostracism.  What incentive does a gay, bi-sexual or transgendered man have to disclose their sexual orientation within a community that would mock and reject them?

When my oldest brother was diagnosed with HIV in 1990 (the years before the "cocktails") he was a master musician within a church which benefited and grew in large numbers as persons were attracted to the Sunday morning ministry of the choir.  To this day, I have an album upon which most of the music recorded was authored by my brother, a brilliant composer, out gay man and Army veteran. He died early 1991, within months of his diagnosis.  Strange though, after all these years, two years ago, as I stood in his church speaking of him with one of the senior members, she spoke of his orientation in a disarming whisper signaling the continued anti-gay and highly conservative context of its membership.  How tragic!  They would "accept" my brother in all his boldness only in terms of the  "performance" his gifts and talents provided but never his total person-hood. 

I salute my brother because he was "grand".  But there are so many others who have seen the oppression within their churches and who have no intention of being made the brunt of abusive behavior at the hands of church leaders and community members.  And so they sleep in denial and "love" in silence.  Living and loving in a community with the highest rate of STDs in America makes the refusal to disclose and get tested for HIV/AIDS a deadly dynamic.

I know my friends within the reconciling movement are busy with LGBT ordination and membership rights within our churches.  I know we bristle when confronted with the lack of integrity among bishops who are supposed to be allies.  I know we long for the right to bless covenantal relationships in our churches.  BUT HIV/AIDS disproportionately affecting African Americans is a health crisis we must address!  We cannot afford to let this event sit on the sideline of our agenda if we in fact want to be seen as a viable agency of support within the African American LGBT community, and indeed among ourselves.

Tomorrow Is Only A Day Away

By Dr. Pamela Lightsey

On July 27th, Jim Adkisson, a 58 year old unemployed mechanic and military veteran entered a Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville, Tennessee and opened fire killing 2 persons and injuring 7 others at a service where a congregation of about 200 persons gathered for a children's performance of the musical, "Annie".  Early reports describe him as a man filled with anger for gays, the liberal movement and most significantly Christians.  The shooting is being investigated as a hate crime.  That would be an understatement.  It seems Jim Adkisson is a man filled with bitter hatred, which he attributes to any number of unfortunate experiences in his life.  Not even his wife (later ex-wife) was safe from his venomous and insane attacks.  Eventually, she divorced him; better the divorce than her life.

Adkisson is unmistakably a very sick man, psychologically and spiritually.  His life has become a sad commentary on the often-human inability to embrace political and theological differences.  His own letter attributing his crime to his hatred of this church because it was liberal and welcomed the LGBT community demonstrates the toll such bitter indifference can take; seething within, elevating and rupturing to the level of deadly insanity. 

Adkisson claimed no affiliation with Christianity yet all Christians would do well to pray that some day he might utter a prayer of repentance, and a love for Christ and the entire fully inclusive body of Christ. Indeed, we should offer this prayer for an even larger circle of persons and institutions.  In the meantime, Christians and believers from all walks of life - especially the LGBT community and reconciling friends like Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church - must remain vigilant in the face of hatred and bigotry.  After all, we really do believe, "The Sun Will Come Up Tomorrow."