Reconciling Ministries Network

Hello, hello!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

O.K., sure. I’m up for a conversation. What would you like to talk about?

Who am I? Yeah, I guess that’s a good place to start. Well, I’m Dave. Dave Goss. That’s right. RMN’s new Communications & Technology Coordinator. Yes, that’s right.

Yep. You’ve heard correctly. The rumors are true. I am straight. I am married. And I do have kids. Two of them. Both girls. One’s almost six and the other’s three and a half. Oh, I know. You don’t have to tell me. I also have three cats and a dog. Yeah, I know. And they’re all girls. I’m the only male in my household. Yeah, you’re tellin’ me.

Honestly, as a straight man, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect on my first day of work. But I did not feel out of place. Not one bit. In fact, I couldn’t have felt more welcome.

Speaking of feeling welcome, it saddens me that some people – no, many people – do not feel welcome in God’s house.

And that’s what brought me here.

We are all God’s children, every single one of us, and just as I have never loved either one of my two girls more than I’ve loved the other, God has always loved each and every one of us equally. Without exception.

You know, before the birth of my second daughter, I wondered how I could possibly have room in my heart for more love – or, more specifically, for the same amount that I had for my oldest. Then, when my second daughter entered the world, I realized that I had no extra room - that my heart had just doubled in size.

Can you imagine how big God’s heart must be? How much love does God have to offer? We are all God's children. Every one of us.

So yeah. Pretty amazing.

5 Ways to Make a Reconciling Resolution for 2012

As the new year approaches, many people make resolutions or set goals for 2012. I want to suggest 5 ways to make a resolution that moves The United Methodist Church closer toward full inclusion for all God's children.

1. Prayers

Pray for a fully inclusive church. Pray for General Conference 2012, for the delegates to General Conference, and for the volunteers and staff who are headed to Tampa. Pray for the local church of which you are a part, wherever it may be in the reconciling process (or not). Pray for people you know who need to hear that God's love includes them. Pray for the IRD, the Good News Movement, and others who have different understandings of what the Gospel means. Remember that prayer means listening, too, and responding to what God calls all of us to do.  

2. Presence

Be present at the local church of which you are part. If you can, be present for local or conference-wide Reconciling events, or even General Conference. Be present for the people you know and whomever God might put in your path who needs a Reconciling friend.

3. Gifts

Consider making a gift to RMN. What a great way to honor someone who has touched your life! Perhaps you feel called to make RMN a regular part of your spiritual practice of tithing.

4. Service

RMN has a whole webpage devoted to explaining how to get involved in service! There's also a range of possibilities in the local church to which you relate. And don't forget the many ways to be of service in the micro-politics of everyday conversation and interaction.

5. Witness

Tell your story! Why are you a Reconciling United Methodist? Why does the full humanity off all God's children matter to you, and why is it important within The United Methodist Church? Whether you seek opportunities to share your story or simply welcome those that come along, be open to the movement of the Spirit as chances to offer a word of witness present themselves. 

 

What is your Reconciling Resolution?

 

Working to Keep the Story Alive

by Rachel Birkhahn-Rommelfanger

“I believe that telling our stories illuminates the world one voice at a time.” - Dan Curtis

 

We gathered to honor the people and an organization working to preserve the stories of African American United Methodists. The African American Heritage Foundation (AAMHC) has worked on creating an archive to house this great narrative. A narrative of persons who struggle to keep a story alive as the bearers of the stories age and pass on to glory; the story of people in a white majority church, who at times worry they will be silenced. The AAMHC is keeping alive the ministry, mission and vision of African Americans in the UMC. This center reminds the UMC of the great gifts, soulful songs, and deep pain of African Americans within our Methodist heritage.

I was honored one Friday night in December to don my best black evening dress and rainbow shawl to represent the Reconciling Ministries Network Board at the African American Methodist Heritage Center’s Ten Year Commemoration. On this night, the story of Reconciling Ministries Network and the African American Methodist Heritage Center were able to intertwine.

The Signs of Love Conquering Fear Are Everywhere!

A Letter from the RMN Board of Directors

The signs of love conquering fear are everywhere! Supporters of Reconciling Ministries are doing more than ever before. The RMN Called to Witness campaigns in 2011 celebrated 67 regional events where 1595 reconciling persons engaged strategy, reconciling process, public narrative storytelling, and building teams. Of the 682 participants at Sing a New Song, over 100 were young adults.  We placed 500 calls to United Methodist delegates to General Conference. We gave $891,812 to support the mission locally, regionally, nationally, and internationally through Reconciling Ministries Network.

Your generosity made it possible for RMN to gather in coalition with the Methodist Federation for Social Action and Affirmation in early 2011 to plan Love Your Neighbor for both a regional and churchwide impact. Now we are living into the reality of a multinational church and underwrote our first staff persons to engage central conference relationships. You even helped us contract with media experts to conduct focus groups in Cote d'Ivoire and test messages in Uganda, Liberia, South Africa, and other countries to find common cause and build bridges.

Angry Lament to the Church

Anonymous Blog Post

I am angry! I am so very angry and while I would love to tell you this is righteous anger but I do not think it is. My anger is a very real human and imperfect anger. But before this turns into just a rant about my anger let me share some of what is making me so very angry.

I am angry that I read a letter written by a woman who's church tried to systematically and intentionally destroy her life all in the name of showing her what happens when you “choose against God”, and in the name of “church discipline” because she acknowledged she was attracted to other women.

I am angry that I read a story in which a person on the national stage equated the disgusting abusive acts of a football coach to that of my consensual and legal love for another man. I am even more angry that there was hardly an outcry against it.

I am angry that in my own denomination I have to lie about who I am to answer the God given call I have. I am angry that I had to lie this past weekend when asked about significant past relationships. I am angry that the only way to make it through this process of ordination is to publicly deny a part of myself that I am not ashamed of. I am angry that I have to wonder if this coming General Conference will be the one when we finally get it right and realize that we should not exclude those that God accepts. I am even more angry when I realize that we have been fighting this anti-LGBTQ language for forty long years.

I am angry and that I have to justify my life to others. I am angry at having to come out as a gay man and then lay out my church credentials so that people understand I am a person of faith. I am even more angry at having to immediately defend my deep and personal faith to other who have decided without even knowing me that I have no true faith. I am angry that there are those in my beloved United Methodist Church that affirm my calling until I tell them I am gay.

More than anything I am angry that we still have to make room for those who try to limit God and God's creation. I am angry that there is still room left at the table for those not affirming as if this were a legitimate point of view that we desperately need at the table. I am angry that part of myself does not want some people at the table because they have hurt me and others I care about so badly. I am angry that this issue has been used to divide and distract us from our purpose of making disciples for the transformation of the world. I am angry that we are still the disciples asking “who gets to sit at your right and your left” and angry that we still seem to not get the purpose of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

Truth and Consequences

United Methodists are in the middle of a conversation about the consequences of being in ministry with good consciences.

An open letter from the Council of Bishops and a recent decision by the Judicial Council have most United Methodists thinking that we are talking about whether or not loving couples should be married by our pastors or in our churches—if the couple happens to be the same gender—and whether our pastors should be punished for this ministry.

The truth is, we are talking about having a good conscience about providing ministry to all of our members as much as we are talking about marriage.

Yet, it was marriage equality in states across this country that highlighted the conundrum of whether we should minister to all of our members. Today, with loving couples who happen to be gay or lesbian marrying in Iowa, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Vermont, New York, Washington, D.C., and the Northwest’s Coquille Indian Tribe, pastors in those states and many others are realizing that they face a decision of conscience that has consequences.

If they follow their vow to minister to all of their church members, they fall outside of the ban of marriages and performing of marriages for same gender couples and could face official complaints—and possibly charges and a trial.

If they follow the prohibition, they betray their vow to the people of God.  When a pastor refuses to minister to the members of their church and community, they are effectively creating second class citizens in the kingdom of God—a baptism with caveats, grace with a catch-22.

Relationships

by Kara Crawford

“God loves queers!” Wouldn't it be wonderful if this were a more commonly-heard message in the public sphere than its infamous converse, à la Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church? Believe it or not, it actually is a majority sentiment in Mainline Protestant Christianity. According to a Pew Forum Religion and Public Life survey conducted in 2007, 56% of Mainline Protestant Christians agreed that homosexuality should be accepted, and I am virtually positive the percentage has only increased since then.

So, not all Christians are anti-queer. In fact, many genuinely believe in, and a fair number act on, the sentiment that “God loves queers!” Some Christians are out queers; some queers are out Christians. Many signs point to positive changes in favor of queer acceptance by Christians.

However, this doesn't account for unsupportive Christians. Some of us know all too well who they are, have been repeatedly hurt by their hateful sentiments, some of us even left the churches of our childhood because of the hatred we felt from them. For some of us, they are former pastors and Sunday school teachers, even grandparents and parents. Can't we just ignore their hatred and pretend it doesn't exist, or better yet, only pay it attention when we're protesting and counterprotesting it and mocking their rhetoric?

I would argue no. In fact, I would argue that simply ignoring them is counterproductive to our looking for inclusion and acceptance. How's that, you may ask? Well, most simply, even unsupportive folks are part of the society in which we live. So if we, as queers and company, want to genuinely work to transform and challenge society's heterosexism, I believe it is critical that we work to build genuine relationships with unsupportive folks. Sure, it will be difficult. We will face challenging and even hurtful conversations, but I believe this is key to bringing about transformation.

Meaning What We Say, Saying What We Mean

by Leland G. Spencer IV

In my everyday life, I study rhetoric. That means I read and write a lot about messages--what they do, what they mean, and a variety of ways to think about them. Sometimes, I get accused of "reading too much into things," and I often wonder if I do read too much into things or if my accusers just accept messages superficially without reading into them at all.

In that spirit, I have to confess that I'm baffled by two messages I've seen in the last few weeks. Maybe I'm reading too much into them, but I don't suspect so. I believe I'm perceiving messages that might not be obvious at first glance, but that deserve a second thought.

First, I visited a church while I was traveling a few weeks ago, and a bulletin insert said, "All church dinner, Thursday night. Get a babysitter--this one is ADULTS ONLY." In this case, I was alarmed at the church's narrow definition of "All church." Evidently, only adults are a part of this church. What are the children? A nuissance? The church of the future? I'm not sure. Oh, and lest we think all adults are included, remember that adults with children are only welcome if they can find a babysitter, so the hosts of the church dinner must define "All church" as middle-class adults, adults with no children, or adults with older children. Am I against adult-only activities? No! But there are ways to have such activities without prohibitively defining "church" to include only certain people. How about "Adult Night Out--drop the kids at church where free childcare is being provided, and come for a tasty dinner at 7pm!"

Last week, as I was on the way to a "Love Your Neighbor" training session, I passed a UM church whose sign advertised a "Fall Festival for Everyone." Here, the definitional problems are extra-textual, as that sign by itself is benign. However, I've been to that church, and I know from experience that "Everyone" does not mean everyone. For people like me, that particular church is a place of violence, exclusion, and pain. The sign says it's for everyone, but it really means, "everyone who already thinks and believes like we do." When people do disagree with something in that church, they're asked to leave. Does that sound like a place for everyone?

In both cases, the messages communicated are dangerous. In the first place, "All church" is defined too narrowly. In the second, the message of welcome isn't genuine. I offered a solution for the first problem, but the second is more complex and has implications for Reconciling Communities and Reconciling Individuals. Anyone can put "Fall Festival for Everyone" or "All are Welcome" on a church sign. Living out that welcome is a different and more difficult matter. From my point of view, it's better not to have a welcoming statement than to have one that isn't genuine.

How do you define "everyone"? What does "All" mean to you?

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Leland G. Spencer IV, a lifelong United Methodist, is a PhD candidate in the department of communication studies at the University of Georgia, where he researches religious rhetoric as it intersects with gender and sexuality. Leland holds an graduate certificate in Women's Studies from the University of Georgia (2011) and an MA in Communication from the University of Cincinnati (2009). While in Cincinnati, Leland served as the worship intern at the Wesley Foundation. Leland is a 2007 graduate of Mount Union College (now known as University of Mount Union), a United Methodist-related school in Alliance, Ohio. Leland served as a part-time local pastor at Mapleton United Methodist Church in the East Ohio Conference from 2005 until 2007 when Leland withdrew from the candidacy process because of the United Methodist Church's exclusive position about the ordination of LGB persons.

A Prayer for National Coming Out Day

Most Holy God,

We come as a people who are always learning, learning about you, your wonderful creation and ourselves, your beloved children.

We recognize today that we have not always understood your good creation.

We come confessing that we have done harm in your name because we have not understood your great divesity.

We recognize to day that you are the God of all people and that love each and everyone of your children.

We recognize today that as the Psalmist wrote “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.”

You know the deepest parts of us, the parts that others sometimes can not see, the parts that sometimes yearn and cry out for you in a sea of isolation,

Gracious God we thank you for your unconditional love and undeserved grace. We offer up this praise with the knowledge that your grace goes before us and is always with us.

We lift up those who today have had the courage to be true themselves and who you created them to be, those who made the brave decision to be who they truly are as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people.

 We ask for grace and understanding for those they share this part of themselves with, that they may see you in their friend or loved one.

 We ask for that same grace for those who come out, that they may find your comfort, and have patience with for those who may need time to accept this new revelation.

 God, your extravagant welcome overwhelms us. May you continue speaking to us that we may live more fully into your Kingdom here on Earth. Amen

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Joey Heath is a 26 year old life long United Methodist. He is currently a graduate student at Wesley Theological Seminary completing his Masters in Divinity. Once an ordained pastor, Joey hopes he will be able to bring real change to the UMC on the issues of sexuality and gender identity at the broader church level, but also with individuals, so that one day the church will truly be a place that is inclusive of all people.

Did the World Get Smaller?

by Rev. Troy Plummer

When I was asked to look at Swahili for a resource for General Conference delegates, I was both amazed and a bit stunned.  I knew that it was coming.  I knew we had applied and received a grant for media and multilingual resources for print and for the internet, but it still felt different to actually see the mastheads in Portuguese, French and Swahili.  I knew we were doing focus groups in English and French in Africa among United Methodists.

I also knew that as a coalition we were going to hire a Cross-Culture Common Witness Coordinator and had watched the RMN board identify funds and make personal pledges so that it would happen.

I knew, but it didn’t really seem real until I saw the job posting for the Cross-Culture Witness Coordinator go out on the e-digests for RMN and for MFSA.  Then I knew at an even deeper level when the position was funded through the entirety of 2012 and into 2013.  It was real.

For decades, Reconciling United Methodists have built relationships with United Methodists from around the world—in service and partnership, in common cause and Gospel care.  We have heard story after story of connections made and of the desire to advance these relationship but just did not have the resources to do so.  But with the faithful generosity of many, now we do.  Did the world get a bit smaller or just a bit closer?

If you know someone who would be excited about faithfully, non-colonially, transforming our church and world, please let them know about this exciting opportunity with application information here:   http://mfsaweb.org/?p=5952 .

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Rev. Troy G. Plummer joined Reconciling Ministries Network as the executive director in November of 2003. RMN mobilizes United Methodists of all sexual orientations and gender identities to transform our Church and world into the full expression of Christ’s inclusive love. Troy organizes grassroots efforts coast-to-coast sharing an inclusive Gospel message. He coordinates biennial movement building convocations and provides leadership for LGBTQ equality through nonviolent witness and protest, legislative action, and coalition partnerships at the quadrennial General Conferences of the worldwide United Methodist Church. In 2007, he launched five-years of organizing campaigns to grow the movement.

Prior to RMN, Troy served for 13 years on the pastoral staff of Bering Memorial United Methodist Church in Houston, Texas. He directed Bering’s on-site counseling center for those affected by HIV/AIDS. Outside Bering’s sanctuary in 1999, he performed a “street wedding” for a lesbian couple celebrating 25 years together and facilitated Bering’s equal treatment of all couples policy. He also coordinated Bible Study, mission trips, retreats, and nonviolence training. Facing a bomb threat with 50 other couples, Troy and Walter, shared promises and rings on Freedom To Marry Day, February 12, 2003 for their 5th anniversary.