RMNBlog

Confessions of a Seminarian

- by anonymous Duke Divinity School student -

A few months ago I made a promise to God and to myself that I would remain in the UMC ordination process as long as I could faithfully live into my calling and be faithful to who God created me to be.  Early this week, I compromised both of my promises.  Lord, forgive me for what I have done, and forgive your church for putting me in this position.

As a Masters of Di
vinity student at Duke Divinity School I am required to fulfill two field education placements during my three years of study, and his summer I am serving in a thriving United Methodist congregation in rural North Carolina.  Along with a supervising pastor, a lay training committee is assigned to help the field education intern discern his/her vocational calling and get acclimated to life in the parish.  This week I had my initial visit with my lay training committee, and as a whole it was a positive experience.  They were intent on making me comfortable and genuinely wanted to get to know who I am and what God is calling me to do in ministry.  We spent an hour together where they asked me questions about my vocation and discernment.  One of the questions they asked me was, “What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?”

Q: What is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do?  

A:  Come out to myself, my family, and my friends.

I sat in silence for several seconds trying to come up with another answer.  I wanted to tell them the truth.  The process of coming out to my family, my friends, and myself was a tremendously difficult experience; and I wanted this committee to know that.  I wanted to tell them about how I wrestled with my faith and my identity as I tried to reconcile my calling and my attraction to other women.  I wanted to tell them about how I came to a new understanding of God’s love and grace when my parents accepted me as I am.  I wanted to tell them about the gifts for ministry my friends saw in me as I made myself vulnerable to them.  Instead, I told them about the second most difficult thing I have ever done.

I did not lie, but I did not tell the whole truth either.  I was afraid they would reject me as their minister if I told the truth.  I was afraid they would tell the people at Duke and my home conference that I am gay.  I am afraid to be completely honest, because I do not want to be kicked out of the ordination process.  Lord, forgive me for being afraid and not putting my hope and trust in you. 

I love the United Methodist Church, but I hate the position it puts me in as I try to faithfully follow the path of ministry to which God calls me.  I hate that I cannot tell the entire truth.  I cannot settle for telling people part of my story, because it compromises my story, my calling, and who I am as a child of God.  The “issue” of homosexuality in the United Methodist Church is not an issue.  I am a person.  My brothers and sisters in Christ are people.  We want to live into the fullness of our callings, but the Church denies us the ability to fully live as the beloved children of God if we want to be faithful to the ministry God calls us to.  Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

Mary Ann Kaiser: I have no alternative.

I am sorry to trouble our dear mother Church with any perplexing questions, but it presses me also, and the Church and myself must decide something. I am so thoroughly convinced that [God] has laid commands upon me in this direction, that it becomes with me really a question of my own soul's salvation. If [God] commands me to just the course I am pursuing, as only they that do [God's] commandments have right to the tree of life, I have no alternative.

- Anna Oliver on seeking ordination as a woman in 1880.

I recently took a United Methodist History course and more than anything, I enjoyed reading the primary documents made available to us. The voices of women silenced not so long ago expressed the struggle they endured- a personal, theological and spiritual struggle where their calls did not jive with the institution of their time. Many, like Anna Oliver, felt they had no alternative even if it was not yet socially acceptable or was against the laws of the church, to preach. When it came down to it, they wondered what options they had but to follow God’s leading if they hoped to be faithful.

I was so enthralled with these stories of our UMC history and of the long line of women whom I owe so much that I eagerly began sharing them on Facebook. After a few posts, a friend of mine commented with interest. “What are you reading?” “All kinds of primary documents,” I told her. “What’s your quote?” she asked. I responded with the specific title of the quote I had posted thinking she was asking about where I found it, but that was not what she meant. “No. What’s YOUR quote?”

Oh. MY quote.

This was just three weeks before my potential ordination would unexpectedly become the topic of conversation at my Annual Conference - six months before my scheduled interview with the Board of Ordained Ministry. The reality of her question settled into my soul but I had no idea how immediately it would beckon an answer.

Reading the words of these women – Fanny Newell, Anna Oliver, Jarena Lee, and others – who stayed faithful to the voice of God in their lives no matter the other noise around them helps me to focus my own life. We all have a path that is ours to walk and as people of faith, we are called to walk our paths with integrity, authenticity, and a commitment to love and justice. This is our life work.

Over the last 12 or so years of my life, the church I grew up in, my Chrysalis community, the Wesley Foundation I worked for, and so many others encouraged me to see that ordination is my path to follow. I came-out to myself in the middle of this ordination process, about five years of hard work into it all, but deciding to stay was still no easy task. I was already wrestling with the church’s partnering relationship to all varieties of “-isms,” and now my own identity was an added complication.

Since, I have struggled honestly and passionately with the church. I have argued with the voice of God in my life. I have tried to convince myself I do not want to and am not called be ordained. And yet, I still return to this place. The United Methodist Church is my church. I was raised in it and I believe in it - in the best of our past and the best of what we can be in the future. And I am called to be a minister within it. And I can’t help that.

Like Fanny, and Anna and Jarena, what option do I have but to follow the voice of God in my life? Who, in good conscience and sound theology, would advise me to do otherwise? It is up to me to follow my call and it is up to the elected bodies of the UMC to follow theirs.

For too many years, however, they have not. The noise of fear, prejudice, and arrogance have distracted us from the Spirit’s guidance. This has resulted in too many LGBTQ voices being kept from their call by being removed from the ordination process. Too many LGBTQ clergy are trying to follow their call but have to do so gagged and bound in the church’s closet. For how many years will the UMC continue to get in the way of God’s work, harming those God calls instead of guiding us? How many years? It has been too many already.

I have a path in front of me and it is up to me to be faithful to it regardless of the obstacles. The UMC has one too. And so do all of its members. Eventually these paths intersect and we all meet face to face with choices. Do we remain faithful to the path of love and justice God has put before us even if it costs us? Or do we listen to the noise around us which drowns out the voice of the Divine?

There is so much listening to be done.  

. . .

Mary Ann Kaiser is a recent graduate of Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. She has a passion for working in the intersections of church and society. Her love for religious approaches to questions of ethics, particularly in the realms of race, gender, and sexuality, led her to internships at WATER (Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics, and Ritual) in Silver Spring, MD and Texas Freedom Network in Austin, TX. She has also worked for the Wesley Foundation and as a hospital chaplain. She currently serves as Youth Director and Justice Associate at University UMC in Austin and is pursuing ordination as a Deacon in The UMC. In her free time, she blogs for Reconciling Ministries Network.

Click here to take action to support Mary Ann.

Click here to read the full account of Mary Ann's story at annual conference.

 

Mary Ann Kaiser appeal speach

Click here to take action to support Mary Ann.

Mary Ann and John requesting a Rule of Order

Mary Ann Kaiser was a certified candidate for ordained ministry in The United Methodist Church. Her home district committee voted to certify her earlier this year. Her ordination journey was halted abruptly June 6, 2013 when The Southwest Texas Conference Board of Ordained Ministry recommended to the clergy of the conference to revoke her certification because Mary Ann identifies as a lesbian.

 

On June 7, Rev. John Elford, the pastor where Mary Ann serves as Youth Director and Justice Associate at University UMC in Austin, spoke on behalf of Mary Ann, asking Bishop Dorff for a rule of law, saying

(Listen to the audio here.)

Yesterday, a premature decision was made by the Board of Ordained Ministry, to remove Mary Ann Kaiser from the candidacy process on account of her being lesbian without following proper procedures or at minimum, interviewing her.  The clergy session voted by a slim majority to maintain that decision, but the correctness of the polity remains in question.  As we strive to maintain all of the policies of the Book of Discipline, I respectfully request a ruling of law as to whether a Board of Ordained Ministry can decline to consider the candidacy of a certified candidate for ordained ministry who has been appropriately recommended by a District Committee on Ordained Ministry.

John Wesley’s Case for LGBTQ Ordination

- by Mary Ann Kaiser -

There have always been disagreements about what it takes to be a minister. From the earliest days of our movement the faithful have been in tension with one another over the credentials necessary for a life of vocational ministry. Within our denomination alone we have changed our mind a few times ever expanding the circle of who can be ordained. Almost 60 years since we approved the ordination of women, we find ourselves again in the midst of disagreement. Should LGBTQ persons now be invited into this circle? The opinions vary widely and few expect that to change quickly. In the meantime, how do we handle this diversity of thought about who should or shouldn’t be ordained?

John Wesley struggled with the question in 1750. He looked at the words of Christ for an answer and as a result he produced a sermon entitled “A Caution against Bigotry” based off of the text of Mark 9:

John said to him, ‘Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.’ But Jesus said, ‘Do not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterwards to speak evil of me.

Wesley begins his sermon by describing the type of people the disciples might be upset about in the text. What do they mean when they tell Jesus “he was not following us?” Wesley says the disciples were talking about people who, on the moderate side, differed in their approaches to scripture, ritual, or church government and also something as extreme as those who advocate for what we find to be anti-scriptural, anti-tradition, or even anti-Christian.

While his sharp conviction surprised me, the long and short of Wesley’s sermon is that none of these aforementioned folks should be kept from being ordained if indeed they are “casting out devils.” Of course, Wesley himself was quick to say he did not mean literal exorcism, but instead producing the obvious fruits of God’s work – counseling, preaching, teaching and serving in such a way that lives are transformed. It seems to be less important to Jesus and to Wesley who the person is and more important whether or not God’s work is being done.

To those who believe lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans folk (to use the words of his sermon) are “utterly false and erroneous in doctrine,” “dangerously wrong in practice,” “guilty of gross superstition as well as idolatry,” or have “dropped one whole commandment of God and made void several of the rest,” and thus maintain the stance of the Book of Discipline, (BOD) this sermon might be an honest challenge. While Wesley is not interested in affirming these things in other people or in saying they are not doing any wrong, he is still adamant that even these people should be ordained if they are “casting out devils.”

I, personally, have witnessed many devils being cast out by people who happen to be LGBTQ. My own life has been transformed by the preaching, teaching, and counseling of my former seminary peers who were queer. I am ever amazed at the devoted service of LGBTQ persons across the country, who despite their slim to none chance of ordination, continue to serve God and The UMC with great faith. I know that I am not the only one to have witnessed the hand of God working through queer people. I know there are others even, who may disagree with “homosexuality,” but can still attest to the good work of God being done by an LGBTQ person they’ve met or heard about.

And these are the people Wesley is speaking to. He understands the sorts of convictions that make people want to keep the BOD as is. He affirms the intentions. He shares the perspective. But, he is worried about the result. He is concerned for those who restrict anyone (if they are casting out devils) from ministry because of a different perspective, practice, or even interpretation of scripture. He says himself, “But what if a man (sic) has these [gifts necessary to edify the church of Christ]…and the Bishop will not ordain him? Then the bishop does ‘forbid him to cast out devils’. But I dare not forbid him…when I have reasonable proof that any man does cast out devils, whatever others do I dare not forbid him, lest I be found even to fight against God.’”

No one can cast out devils without the help of God. Because of this, we can surmise that wherever such “exorcism” is taking place, no matter the sexual orientation or any other characteristic of the minister, God is choosing to act through that person. To stop the person from continuing in ministry is to get in the way of the work of God. The criteria for ordination, for Wesley and for Jesus, seem to be less about big picture ideas or values and more about God’s interaction with an individual. Are they producing fruit? Are they accomplishing the task to which we are called? Are they transforming the world? Then they should not be restricted from ordination over any sort of difference. Otherwise, we have to ask with Wesley, who would be so bold as to stand in the way of the work of God.

“Be not content with not forbidding any that cast out devils. ‘Tis well to go thus far; but do not stop here. If you will avoid all bigotry, go on. In every instance of this kind, whatever the instrument be, acknowledge the finger of God. And not only acknowledge but rejoice in his work and praise his name with thanksgiving.” – John Wesley

 

. . .

Mary Ann Kaiser is a recent graduate of Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. She has a passion for working in the intersections of church and society. Her love for religious approaches to questions of ethics, particularly in the realms of race, gender, and sexuality, led her to internships at WATER (Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics, and Ritual) in Silver Spring, MD and Texas Freedom Network in Austin, TX. She has also worked for the Wesley Foundation and as a hospital chaplain. She currently serves as Youth Director and Justice Associate at University UMC in Austin and is pursuing ordination as a Deacon in The UMC. In her free time, she blogs for Reconciling Ministries Network.

A Young person's concern for The UMC

- by an anonomous first year UM seminarian, writing for MoSAIC -

Esteemed readers, every so often, I am called upon to write about queer United Methodist things for the internet. And, because I’m petty and opinionated but also afraid of confrontation, I usually take the opportunity to write about things said to me in private conversation, and why they’re wrong. So, with your permission, I’d like to take a moment to do that.

I’ve spoken to several lately on the topic of the Book of Discipline, and why we must obey it even when it’s wrong (as it tends to be on issues relevant to the lives of queer folks). Reasons for this argument typically fall somewhere along the lines of

• “if we disobey the Discipline now, what’s to stop conservatives from disobeying it once homophobic language has finally been excised?” 
• “clergy who disobey the Discipline become a law unto themselves”
• “if you took a vow to uphold the Discipline, and you break that,  it’s just wrong.”

Let me make this clear, readers: I have immense respect for those who feel called to uphold the Discipline. There is a degree of honor in holding to one’s word, even when you’d rather not. However, I also disagree with this sentiment.

Same-sex couple to wed at RMN convocation

- by Rev. Andy Oliver -

They met while in seminary. “Seeing her was the first time in my life I was taken aback by someone’s presence. I instantly thought who is this woman,” said Mary Ann Kaiser. That was the beginning of a love story between Mary Ann and Annanda—a journey that is leading them to the wedding aisle at Reconciling Ministries Network’s convocation Labor Day weekend in Maryland, where same-sex marriage is legal.

“Choosing to get married isn’t all about us. It is a response to God’s call on our lives to be one,” said Annanda Barclay, second year seminary student currently serving at Central Presbyterian Church in Austin, Texas. “It is a spiritual act. Civil rights are a beautiful thing and should be realized for all couples, but marriage is rooted in Christ’s expression of love. We now get to be a sign to the world of what that love looks like, in our love for each other.”

Why I Will Stay With The UMC

- by Jarell Wilson -

“Jarell we judge couples when one half of the couple loves the other and the feelings are not mutual. Why would you stay in a Church that doesn’t love you?” my friend Taylor asked me. My response then was feeble and undeveloped. “It’s not that the Church doesn’t love me, it just that it hates one part of me, much like a woman hates her husband’s snoring.” Since then I have had a lot of time to think over why I choose to remain within the United Methodist Church. I have to take you back to when I fell in love with the United Methodist Church.

Our Family Outing: A Memoir of Coming Out and Coming Through, part IV, The Gift of Touch

Part 4 of 5 with co-authors Joe Cobb and Leigh Anne Taylor who have recently published "Our Family Outing: A Memoir of Coming Out and Coming Through" in which they describe the process of ending a thirteen year marriage and creating a new way of being family in the wake of Joe's coming out.  

Part Four: The gift of touch
- by Joe Cobb - 

 On the last day of the Community High School’s Sex Education class in Roanoke, Virginia, I was invited to speak with the students about Religion and Sexuality.

As I wrapped my mind around the topic, I wanted the students to hear, more than anything, the connection between spirituality and sexuality.  I wanted them to know that the two are one.

Our Family Outing: A Memoir of Coming Out and Coming Through, part III, Our Family’s Story

Part 3 of 5 with co-authors Joe Cobb and Leigh Anne Taylor who have recently published "Our Family Outing: A Memoir of Coming Out and Coming Through" in which they describe the process of ending a thirteen year marriage and creating a new way of being family in the wake of Joe's coming out.  

- by Leigh Anne Taylor -

As I lay down to take an afternoon nap, I fell asleep pleading with God to help me talk to our children about our decision to divorce.  I woke up with this story fully formed in my mind.  I jotted it down in a little spiral notebook as fast as I could, afraid I would forget it.  I read it to the children (ages 4 and 6) the day Joe and I told them about our decision to divorce.

 

Events of this week compel me to remember a friend, Greg Dell*

- by Rev. Gil Caldwell -

The runner in a relay race is my model for my writing. I seek in my writing to pass the baton of a thought, an observation an idea, a conviction and a suggestion for change, to other runners who will run with my baton in ways I never could. However, my experience has been that the batons I have sought to pass on to others have been taken, most of the time, by people who disagree with me, and
are not timid in their writing responses that sometimes demean and dismiss the thoughts, observations, ideas, convictions and suggestions that I have shared. (I learned long ago as a participant in the Civil Rights Movement to "keep on keeping on" in my activism and my writing, regardless of the naysayers).

But my hope in writing this is that there will be those who read this who will allow what I have written to complement and/or encourage them to be bold, brave and bodacious as they "run" with what I share in this essay.

I write this with GREG DELL in my mind, heart and spirit. Most of us know that Greg Dell as Pastor of Broadway United Methodist Church in Chicago, in 1998 performed a service that publicly celebrated the relationship of two men. Greg was tried and found guilty of "disobedience to the order and Discipline of the United Methodist Church." This happened in 1999, Greg was removed from his appointment to Broadway as punishment. He was re-appointed to Broadway, July 1, 2000 by Bishop Joseph Sprague.

It is becoming clear that the USA and ultimately The United Methodist Church will say "yes" to marriage equality for same sex couples. This week the Dean of the Episcopal, Washington National Cathedral announced that the Cathedral would host same sex marriages. And closer to home, Bishop Sally Dyck in a letter to the clergy and members of the Northern Illinois Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church wrote this in support of the Marriage Equality legislation proposal before the Illinois Legislature:

"While The United Methodist Church holds that the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching, it also holds the teaching and a long tradition (albeit a struggle every inch of the way) of civil rights. Marriage equality is a civil rights issue: it provides for all what is afforded to some."

I have accepted the fact that The United Methodist Church in response to many justice issues is a "tail light" rather than a "headlight". Martin Luther King asked the question; "Why is the church so often a tail light rather than a headlight?" While the US Supreme Court declared racial segregation in public schools unconstitutional in 1954, we as the Methodist Church did not decide that the racially segregated Central Jurisdiction was unbiblical until 1968. We did not ordain women until 1956, even as equality for women was moving forward much before that. And it is now clear that while states and the District of Columbia affirm marriage equality for same sex couples, and the Supreme Court this coming spring is likely to rule that denying same sex couples the right to marry is unconstitutional, we in The UMC are a disconnected caboose on a train that has left the station heading toward full equality for lgbtq persons and same sex couples.

Where does GREG DELL fit in this essay that is too lengthy? While we as The United Methodist Church are "bringing up the rear" on equality for same sex couples, we could become a model in the ways we belatedly affirm those like GREG DELL who have been punished by the denomination for taking seriously their "call" to ministry and their ordination, by their performing services that celebrate the love shared by those in a same sex relationship.

GREG in his ministry believed and believes that the church "rite" of marriage ought be provided "for all", despite the fact in the United Methodist Church today, it is only "afforded to some".

I am suggesting that The United Methodist Church develop a "Ritual of Apology" that embraces GREG DELL  and others. In that Ritual, we as a Church ought say in more than one way, "GREG you were right and we were wrong".

I am discouraged by those who use what they claim is the "authority of Scripture" to justify their prejudices. And, I am also discouraged by those who claim to be "originalists" in their interpretation of the US Constitution as "cover" for their desires to perpetuate injustice and human insensitivity. Therefore, I will not quote the Bible or the Constitution as I conclude. Rather, I will turn to the writings of William Shakespeare!

I will not pretend to be at home in the writings of Shakespeare. I am not sure whether it is the language or the plots or both that confuse me. I have yet to completely understand the characters whose names are, Helena, Lysander, Demetrius, Oberon and Puck in "A Midsummer Nights Dream". But I have found the words spoken by Puck to be helpful and useful as I as a Black, Third generation Methodist have seen the foolishness of racism, sexism and now heterosexism in our denomination. Puck says;

"Lord, what fools these mortals be!"

Our United Methodist Biblical interpretation, Theology, Christology, our ecclesiology nor our polity or General Conference actions or connectionalism, guaranteed appointments, etc. have kept us from being living contradictions of who we claim to be. We acknowledge personally and collectively our sins of comission and omission. But who of us within the denomination are surprised when the "Pucks" beyond the denomination say of us: "What fools these United Methodists be"?

I have taken too long to say that United Methodist "fools" like us cannot erase our history of once punishing persons because of their race or gender, and now because of their sexual orientation and same sex commitment. But, we can as a denomination acknowledge the foolishness of our punitive response to those among us who like GREG DELL, who long ago understood and went about doing ministry in ways we are just beginning to affirm.

I believe that to be "a fool for Christ", is to go public with our recognition of how foolish we have been as we have punished some whom we now recognize were right and we were wrong.

. . .

* I have not spoken to Greg or Jade Dell about the above. "Greg and Jade, my hope is that these words informed by my love and respect for Greg and you Jade, are not inappropriate, nor intrusive."

The Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell is a retired United Methodist Minister who lives in Asbury Park, N.J. He was active in the Massachusetts unit of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) and participated in the civil-rights movement throughout the nation. In 2000, he, with others, organized the RMN Extension ministry United Methodists of Color for a Fully Inclusive Church (UMOC), an organization committed to the full inclusion of LGBT people in every aspect of church and society. His recent book, Something Within: Works by Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell is available from Church Within A Church.

Queer, closeted, clergy, and unmarried

- by an anonymous United Methoidst clergyperson -

Weddings are beautiful. I love them. I love seeing my friends commit themselves to each other in the presence their community and Creator. It gives me great joy to see the deep love on the faces of a couple’s face as they look at each other. 

But weddings also wreck me.

As a United Methodist clergyperson, I don’t have the right to perform weddings for the many LGBTQ people in the church where I’ve been called to be a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

As a queer person, I don’t have the right to get married in the church in which I’ve grown up. Not only am I deemed incompatible with Christian teaching by the UMC, I am also bound to the Discipline, which dictates that I cannot be a self-avowed practicing homosexual. I also cannot perform the unions of gay and lesbian couples for fear that I may be stripped of my ordination. This hurts. And I’m at a loss.

I used to speak a big game: “Oh yeah. If I’m ever asked to do a ceremony of a queer couple, I won’t hesitate to do it.” But I don’t speak that big game anymore. While I have not yet been asked to marry a queer couple, I am not sure I will be able to say yes when that moment comes. I also don’t know if I will be able to say no. I just don’t know.

There was also a time when I told people, “I don’t do weddings at all. I won’t do them for same sex couples or straight couples. I just won’t do a wedding or union.” But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized that there are heterosexual couples in my church and in my life whose unions I want to celebrate. It’s not just an easy, “Yes, I’ll celebrate all marriages and unions or none at all” kind of thing. This decision is more complex than that simple yes or no.

On top of these clergy-specific issues, I share the struggle of so many of my queer brothers and sisters—the whole wanting to settle down and love one person for the rest of my life, while not being allowed to marry that person in the church that I call home. When I go to weddings, I long to one day experience what I’m seeing. I long for a day when I have the right to marry—and for the day when I find someone who cherishes me for me. But I’ve yet been able to settle down. Yes, I’ve dated. Yes, I’ve had significant others with whom I’ve fallen in love. But I haven’t been able to make myself stay in a committed relationship. Why? Because in my mind, being in a legitimate, steady, committed relationship meant that I had to deal with the United Methodist Book of Discipline. I was not ready for the implications of that, especially in the heart of Dixie.

I’ve been to many weddings lately. This is why I feel the need to say this now; to give a voice to those of us in the church who sit in the pews, witnessing the beautiful unions of our heterosexual friends and simultaneously trying to cope with this inner turmoil. As if it is hard enough being an affirming clergy person, it is even harder to be Queer clergy. Our romantic relationships suffer in ways that heterosexual couples cannot understand; yet we are asked to do weddings for heterosexual couples all the time. The internal struggle that I—and other queer clergy members—have over this is very real, and is very painful.

So why stay in the United Methodist Church?

It is not as easy as simply leaving the church. I am a United Methodist to the core. I was baptized in this church, confirmed in this church, learned how to love in this church, came out in this church, and was affirmed in this church. I may never get married or even find a partner who can put up with my uncertainty and craziness; a partner who understands what it means to be the partner of a clergy person in the SEJ. But for some reason, I cannot divorce this church. 

I pray that the day will come when all of my friends can be married to the ones they love, regardless of sexual orientation. I pray that there is a day when The United Methodist church sees me, a queer clergyperson, not just as a person who seeks to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world, but as a whole human being who is more than “compatible” and a beloved child of God, even if I am queer. I pray that the Discipline of the UMC does not continue placing hurdles in the paths of people like me, who, like so many, simply want to find and marry partners with whom to spend our lives.

For now, I pray that the advocates and activists in the United Methodist Church who speak up on behalf of LGBTQ lay and clergy will be mindful that weddings are hard for many of us, particularly LGBTQ clergy. Reach out to us. You know who we are. Please don’t forget how hard it is to live as a queer clergy person, no matter our geographical location.

I am aware that much of what I’ve written is coming from a place of hurt, isolation, and the reality of being queer clergy in the south. But I feel called to give a voice to those of us who are sticking it out in the system. We are here. We are queer. My wish is that the church, and our heterosexual friends, family, and colleagues, will recognize and affirm us for all that we are and for all that we have to offer to this community.

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by Rev. Lauren Kilbourn

A few weeks ago my best friend and partner of two years officially became my wife. This was a joyous occasion for us and for our families (mixed with the social and theological complexities that a same-sex union offers, of course). Tying the knot also meant packing up everything that I owned and moving in to a new place that we can call ours.

As I was unpacking the other day I came across a box of odds and ends taped up and labeled from my last move. Curious about what I had left packaged for three years, I opened it with the awe and wonder of a kid on Christmas morning. What I found left me nearly speechless. This box was like a time capsule of my life. I found art projects and wrapped trinkets from my childhood; old journals and letters from my years as a camp counselor; and three of my favorite Christmas ornaments. Just when I thought I had discovered every item, one was left to be revealed. From the very bottom corner of that deep box I pulled out an old cigar box that I had decorated when I was 15 years old and deemed my memory catcher. What it was in actuality was not so much a memory catcher as a Pandora’s Box. I rarely visit its contents, but when I do, I will spend hours taking out each article and rehashing old memories: the collar that belonged to my first cat; a beaded bracelet that I had stolen from my great-grandmother’s armoire the week after she died; a black and white photograph taken of my mother and me just moments after my birth…

This time as I began to open the box, my eyes went directly to a stack of small slips of paper, bound together with a rubber band. I hesitated briefly. I hadn’t visited that article of the memory catcher since my departure from the United Methodist Church in 2005. Each of these papers represented a vote—yes or no—from my church’s Charge Conference when I began the ordination process.

I remember the night of the vote well. It was one of the first times I had spoken publicly about feeling God’s call to ordained ministry in my life. I felt vulnerable and yet lovingly nested under the wings of a church that I trusted. My heart raced right before they reported their decision, but I was sure that if I was told “no,” then they would help guide me into a lay ministry where I could flourish. That evening after Charge Conference I took from my pocket the slips of paper that they had given me, and basked in the glow of a loving, affirming congregation. “Yes,” the first slip of paper read. “Yes,” read the second and the third and the fourth. “Yes, yes, yes, sí, yes, sí, sí, yes…” 54 people at the meeting, and 54 “yeses” in all.

In earlier years some of these papers were affixed to my bathroom mirror as a daily reminder of God’s call in my life and the church who backed me up. I often looked at them and felt encouraged, remembering the supportive applause of that Charge Conference and the various people who had validated me as I walked the journey to ordained life. When I came out of the closet and was therefore dismissed (unpleasantly so, might I add), it took everything in my power to stack them and bind them with a rubber band, rather than throw them into the fire. Over the course of a week the church that had grown me up, nurtured me, supported me through college and into seminary; the church that taught me about God’s love even when I couldn’t love myself; the church that, much like Gabriel to Mary, announced my call to me and told me how to live into it; that church not only removed me from its ordination process, but began to treat me like I was Judas Iscariot himself.

I examined the stack of paper, bound by that same rubber band, unopened for almost eight years. There were old and deep wounds located among those folds. I remember at one very low point in my life trying to re-visit those papers for comfort and instead rehashing resentment, anger, and sorrow for the institution that took away such great hope it had given me. Yet something inside of me that day told my heart that it was stronger and more resilient than before. I sat down on the floor, and slowly, almost ritualistically, unwound the band. I spread each “yes” out and looked at them with a smile. Though my heart still has a dull ache for the ways that many people treated me after coming out, I can look back now and remember the people who continued to tell me “yes:” The divinity school professor at whose desk I openly wept when a classmate told me I was the kind of person who was ruining the integrity of his church; the visitor from my conference who told me that it was the UMC’s loss when I had to leave; a district superintendent who reminded me that God’s work in my life never changed, even though the church was foolish in their decision-making; the field education supervisor who admired the courage it took to even broach the subject to begin with. The list goes on.

The truth of the matter is that this world is full of people who have actually read and understood and now live out the Gospel commands to love God and love others. Many of them are United Methodist. The truth of the matter is that God fearfully and wonderfully creates lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender women and men, and loves them ferociously. Many of them are United Methodist. The truth of the matter is that God calls LGBT and straight people to a life of ordained service. Many of them are United Methodist. And what I have learned and remembered recently is that God also gives us straight (and sometimes closeted LGBT) allies—people who care about, love, and stand up for ALL of God’s children. Many of them are United Methodist.

Stand strong and keep the faith, brothers and sisters.

 

. . .

The Rev. Lauren Kilbourn is an Episcopal Priest in North Carolina. She shares her life with her loving wife and their silly animals, and wouldn’t trade the world to have it any other way.

Chicago Tribune: Gay Seminarian Leaves United Methodist Denomination to be Ordained

- reprinted from the Chicago Tribune By Manya A. Brachear, Chicago Tribune reporter -

As soon as Michael Overman announced that he was gay, the Southern Baptist church that raised him, led him to attend an evangelical Christian college and inspired him to pursue ministry left him feeling abandoned.

He stayed estranged from Christianity for about six years before eventually finding his way to Holy Covenant United Methodist Church, a congregation in Chicago's Lakeview neighborhood that welcomes gays and lesbians.

Reinvigorated by the church's acceptance, he enrolled at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston and sought ordination in his new denomination.

But the United Methodist Church does not ordain gay clergy in committed relationships. That created a predicament for Overman, who joined his partner in a civil union last spring. He knew he could try keeping his relationship private as some partnered gay clergy opt to do. But that approach made him uncomfortable.

"If I'm going to be in ministry, I'm going to be in ministry as my whole self," said Overman, 28, who lives in the city's Uptown neighborhood. "When I look at Christian faith, it was always Christ's mission to restore people in the community and restore people to wholeness. It didn't make sense to me to go into ministry as a closeted person. That felt inauthentic."

Following a number of gay and lesbian former Methodists who find themselves unable to serve in the church that cultivated their calling, Overman withdrew from the denomination last month to seek ordination instead in the Disciples of Christ Church, which accepts openly gay clergy in committed relationships. The departure of Overman and others spotlights the internal drama in one of the last mainline Protestant denominations that require gay clergy to stay celibate. Methodist teaching states that the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.

But many Methodist clergy and congregations don't share that point of view, especially Holy Covenant, one of the first Methodist churches to have a female pastor in the 1970s when women were first ordained. The Rev. Matthew Johnson, pastor of Holy Covenant now, said the congregation's acceptance can perplex people like Overman who don't fully grasp that the Lakeview congregation is an anomaly.

Last year, Johnson joined more than 200 elders, deacons and pastors in the church's Northern Illinois Conference who pledged to defy national church policy and bless same-sex unions.

"Holy Covenant is this little pocket of resistance," Johnson said. "Because of the work we're doing to bring about justice in our denomination, we have to be honest with everybody. The way that we are is not the way the rest of the church is."

Johnson said he and Overman discussed two options. Overman could wait until the church changed its teachings or he could forge ahead in trying to become a minister and see how far he got in the process before his civil union became an obstacle. Overman chose the latter, knowing it would take a miracle to be as transparent as he wanted to be and continue in the process, Johnson said.

Still, Overman wasn't entirely transparent. Instead of naming his partner or referring to his husband, he spoke of "a significant other" on his application. When a local committee charged with certifying him for ordination warned him about the ambiguous language, he instantly felt uneasy. But the panel never asked if his significant other was a man or a woman, and it encouraged him to move forward in the process.

Nevertheless, "it felt more like an attack than an affirmation," he said. "I left that meeting feeling really broken and uncertain and really hurt. I had compromised myself, and I had not been my whole self. If that's how the process was going to continue, then I couldn't do it."

"Practicing 'don't ask, don't tell' in a ministry context is pushing people to sin," Overman added. "Thou shalt not lie." A blog item he wrote about his experience for Reconciling Ministries Network, a Methodist gay rights advocacy group, has since gone viral.

Bishop Sally Dyck, recently installed as head of the church's Northern Illinois Conference, met face to face with Overman regarding his decision to leave. She insisted that the church does not take a "don't ask, don't tell" approach.

"We are saddened to lose a gifted person going toward ministry," she said. "'Don't ask, don't tell' is not the approach taken when referring to the church law, which bars the ordination or appointment of 'self-avowed practicing homosexuals.' The district committee appreciated and respected Michael's honesty about his personal relationship and in turn had to be honest with Michael about the reality that the Board of Ordained Ministry is bound by the current laws in the Book of Discipline.

"This is the tension our denomination continues to struggle with and discerns as the United Methodist Church also acknowledges in the Book of Discipline that all persons are of sacred worth," she added.

The Rev. Scott Field, pastor of Wheatland Salem Church, a Methodist congregation in Naperville, supports the Methodists' celibacy requirement for gay clergy, which has been on the books since 1972. He doesn't question the vocation of aspiring clergy who happen to be gay and in committed relationships. But he believes they should, like Overman, seek ordination in North American churches that don't have the same requirement. Methodists must honor a global consensus on the issue, he said.

"I want to help them fulfill their calling, but it might not be among us," Field said. "I agree with him that we shouldn't be having to keep secrets."

The Rev. Gregory Gross, a Methodist deacon who also pledged to bless same-sex unions last year, said many of his gay classmates at Garrett sought ordination in other churches.

"Sadly, the UMC has lost too many excellent clergy and clergy candidates, and my heart aches for my denomination," Gross said. "It should not be this way."

He said the "don't ask, don't tell" avenue has become the church's unofficial yet de facto approach that many gay clergy have found ways to navigate. But he empathizes with Overman's decision, calling the "don't ask, don't tell" approach "hypocritical" and "sinful."

"While there are supportive persons throughout the denomination, this policy of 'looking the other way' can lead clergy to feeling used," he said.

Overman said he understands that some clergy have chosen to hide their relationships and does not judge that decision negatively. It's simply not a route he can take.

"What I might feel would be deceitful or inauthentic on my part, someone else may have wrestled with and come to terms with," he said. "I trust they've gone through that discernment process. ... I'm not called to hide."

Told to Go Back into the Closet, Michael Leaves Ordination Process and the UMC

Michael Overman is called by God to the ministry. In his ordination process in the United Methodist Church, he was told by his District Committee on Ministry to go back into the closet. They passed him, but Michael has chosen to leave the UMC and serve as God created him to be. First is a video of a prayer offered by his church community, Holy Covenant UMC in Chicago, Illinois this past Sunday as a response to the Eucharist. The video is followed by Michael's story from his blog.

Embracing wholeness, answering call…

by Michael Overman, Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary senior 

Little did I know that a private message I received from a fellow member of the Gay Christian Network nearly four years ago would drastically change the entire course of my life. I’d been a part of the online community for a short while, and at the time, was not involved in any sort of faith community. My previous home church, a Baptist church in west-central Indiana had asked me to step down from all ministry activities and suggested I stop attending services because of my identity as a gay man. These events led to a spiritual drought and a six-year hiatus from any church.

In winter of 2008, I received the aforementioned private message from a GCN member who lived in one of Chicago’s many suburbs and whose son lived in the city. He’d read many of my posts, and felt led to tell me of a church community on the edge of the Lincoln Park and Lakeview neighborhoods, Holy Covenant United Methodist Church. It would take a few more months before I could muster up the courage to take his advice and attend a worship service at Holy Covenant, but finally, two weeks before Easter of 2009, I woke up and made the trek down to the red-bricked, mural-emblazened building that would become my home, my refuge, my safe haven away from a world that told me it didn’t want me, not as I was at least.

From there, the rest seems like history. Immediately, I was made to feel welcomed, loved, and valued. The people of Holy Covenant made it a priority to get to know me and to be a part of the healing work God was doing in my life and on my severely broken heart. I experienced my first ever Maundy Thursday service, which coincidentally was the first time I’d been offered communion since leaving my former denomination. I was welcomed to the table as a broken but whole person, never asked to leave a part of myself at the door. Even to this day, I cannot put into words how significant this was for me.

That summer, I marched in Chicago’s Pride Parade for the first time with my new community. Along the route, I had a conversation with a few other church members. The question was asked whether or not I’d ever considered going to seminary and pursuing a vocation in ministry. I had, in fact, but had been led to believe that my sexual orientation made me unfit for answering that call. These new friends told me otherwise. They affirmed that my orientation was part of who God made me to be. I’d never really heard any of this before. And so I visited the seminary suggested to me (Garrett-Evangelical in Evanston, Illinois) and applied for admission soon thereafter. While my acceptance letter came quickly, I postponed going for another year for the sake of discernment. More changes were to come.

I met my now-husband and life partner, Frankie, who was also welcomed into the Holy Covenant community, regardless of his difference of faith beliefs as a practicing neo-pagan. Holy Covenant loved me, and I loved him, and so they grew to love him as well. I was given various opportunities to serve, including serving communion, reading scripture, singing, praying during worship, leading a small group, serving on a committee, and so much more. As time progressed, all of the brokenness I’d experienced as man coping with depression and the effects of being raised in a physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive household started to mend, albeit slowly. I was learning to love myself through the love with which I was being covered by this amazing family of faith. I decided to pursue ordination within the denomination in which I’d found a new home.

Herein lies the struggle. Although churches like Holy Covenant exist where all people are welcomed regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, the United Methodist Church’s written polity refers to the practice of homosexuality as “incompatible with Christian teaching” and therefore individuals such as myself are believed to be unfit for ordained ministry. It didn’t make sense. I’d known gay clergy, gay partnered clergy, in our denomination. What did it all mean? As I began seminary and developed relationships with people serving elsewhere in the district and conference, I learned the answer to my questions, and they were disheartening.

In order for me to be ordained in the UMC, I would quintessentially have to go into a professional, vocational closet. In meetings and on paper, I would be “single,” making no reference to my sexual identity or my relationship status. I would have to leave a part of me outside of the ordination process. I’d known others going through the same thing who seemed to be okay with it all, who seemed sane and mentally/emotionally healthy, and so I pressed forward. I continued in my seminary education, served another church in the city for my second-year internship, and proceeded to have my local church declare me as a candidate for ordination.

The time came for me to meet with my district committee on ordained ministry for their approval and certification of my candidacy process. I met with mentors and fellow clergy for advice on how to best express myself on paper and in speech. I found myself using the term “significant other” for Frankie instead of “husband” or “partner.” It hurt, deeply. In the meeting itself, I shared my excitement for getting to work with The Marin Foundation this year—a non-profit whose mission is to bridge the relational gap between the evangelical church and the LGBT community. I spoke of my passion for full inclusion of all people. I have no doubt that anyone in the room had any misgivings over my sexual orientation or relationship status. I was partnered, and it was easy to tell that my partner was not of the opposite sex.

And so we sat there with this invisible rainbow elephant in the room. One committee member asked me why I’d felt it important to mention my relationship in my paperwork, especially using such red-flag language as “significant other.” He continued, “You’re not going to have a problem here. We simply want to make you conscious of what is and is not going to make it possible and easy for you to make it through the whole ordination process. There are people at the board level who will rip you apart if there’s even a hint of you being, well, you know.” Another person asked why I, with my passion for inclusion and with my knowledge and awareness of the state of our denomination not being inclusive, would stay here. Why not go elsewhere? By the time they were ready to deliberate and vote on my certification, I was nearly in tears and ready to leave the room as quickly as I possibly could.

The committee certified me, and I felt no joy. It had been made clear what I would have to do and how I would have to portray myself in order to receive clerical credentials in the UMC. While it was never articulated so directly, the message was clear: You cannot be ordained here as a whole person. You have to split yourself. We don’t want all of you. Only part of you is truly worthy of this calling. You have to hide. You have to lie. You have to be someone other than you.

In the weeks since, I’ve prayed and fought and yelled and screamed and cried and talked and sat in silence. I’ve wrestled with what to do. Slowly, the recognition of what was being asked of me came, and I could not foresee myself complying. My family at Holy Covenant taught me how to be a whole person and gave me the strength to start loving myself, truly for the first time. It would be a grievous sin for me to undo all their hard work, and all of my own. My identity and relationship are something God loves and finds joy in and takes pleasure in. I am God’s beloved in the entirety of who I am, and God has not asked or called me to change. I am worthy because my Creator has called me worthy, and to lie or be inauthentic would be to make unclean what God has called clean, to make bad what God has called good. I cannot do that… I will not.

Two weeks ago, I submitted my letter stepping out of the ordination process for the United Methodist Church. I’ve met with a pastor of a United Church of Christ / Disciples of Christ congregation who is supportive of my decision and willing to help me get involved with his congregation and begin the ordination process in his denomination. This morning, I stood before some of the people I love most in my life and told them I was leaving. Even now, the pain feels unbearable. I’ve felt like I was giving up, but I realized that to stay and to hide would be to do just that. In leaving and pursuing my call to ordained ministry in a setting where I can be a whole person, I’m honoring the work that my friends and family at Holy Covenant have put into getting me to this point. With my partner, friends, and church family gathered around me this morning, their hands laid on me and on each other, I felt surrounded by and covered with more love than I feel I could ever deserve or be given. I listened and cried as friends came up, sharing my pain and expressing their pride in my strength, courage, and apparent bravery. I spent time holding one of the young boys I’ve grown to love, and got the chance to hug another. I know I’m always welcome there, and I leave knowing just how much I’ve loved, supported, and valued.

Change will come. There will be a day when all God’s children are welcome at the table, both receiving God’s blessing and presiding over God’s gifts of meal and water, regardless of who they love. I desperately long for that day, and I pray for the strength to be a part of the work God’s Spirit is doing to get us there. I know much of that strength will come from my Holy Covenant family.

I will come back… someday soon. We will still have conversations, exchange emails, share meals and drinks, offer each other love, prayer, support, and encouragement. I cannot tell you how much you’ve changed me, how much your love has given me new life and restored my joy. Thank you for taking me in, helping me answer my call, affirming and celebrating my relationship, sitting with me in times of grief, depression, sorrow and joy. I love you all so much. Know that as you’ve given me a piece of yourselves, I have left a part of myself with each and every one of you. Though we may feel divided, we are one with Christ, one with each other, and one in ministry to all the world.

 

Michael Overman is in his last year at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary and is now entering the ordination process in the United Church of Christ / Disciples of Christ denomination. To read more of Michael's writing, go to his blog.

Living Out Core Values in Illinois

- Carrie Maxwell, Windy City Times –

Going against the wishes of the church hierarchy and doctrine, United Methodists in the Northern Illinois Conference (NIC) recently signed a pledge of resistance and non-cooperation towards the church’s discriminatory policies against LGBT people and their allies.

NIC members made the commitment “to resist evil, injustice and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves” and embrace the higher law of “biblical obedience” at their annual conference “Celebrate God’s Amazing Work” held June 6-9 at the Pheasant Run Resort in St. Charles, Ill.

The Northern Illinois Conference’s pledge of resistance comes on the heels of the worldwide general conference for Methodist clergy. The conference was held this past spring in Tampa, Fla. and during the conference—which is held every four years—the global denomination voted to continue its discriminatory policies against LGBT people.

Speaking out against the anti-LGBT policies that the wider Methodist church voted to uphold at the conference, the “Love Your Neighbor” Common Witness Coalition held an event, “Altar For All—Celebrating Marriage: Witnessing God’s Inclusive Love,” to affirm its support for marriage equality.

Currently, The United Methodist Church (UMC) prohibits clergy from performing same-sex weddings and recognizing same-sex couples. More than 1,200 Methodist ministers have already pledged to fulfill their ordination vows to minister to all people and they are calling for more United Methodists to pledge their support for marriage equality.

The groups that make up the Common Witness Coalition include Affirmation: United Methodists, Black Methodists for Church Renewal, the Methodist Federation for Social Action, the National Federation of Asian-American United Methodists, the Native-American International Caucus of the United Methodist Church, and the Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN). According to their website the coalition “works for a more inclusive church for LGBT people, always in a broader context that strives for justice around issues of race, gender, global partnerships, peace, stewardship of creation and economic justice.”

According to their website the RMN is “a growing movement of United Methodist individuals, congregations, campus ministries and other groups working for the full participation of all people in the United Methodist Church. We have mobilized United Methodists to create full inclusion of all God’s children regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity since 1982.”

Chairperson of the RMN board and lead pastor of First United Methodist Church in Arlington Heights, Ill., Rev. Bonnie Beckonchrist remarked that there are more than 500 RMN congregations and communities nationwide—30 of which are in the NIC. However, she noted that “the church’s witness is critical to those places where the church’s official stance continues to do harm.”

RMN Executive Director the Rev. Troy Plummer said, “We are building relationships in tough states like Mississippi, Tennessee and Georgia and we are also advancing equality in Minnesota, Washington and Iowa. In Tennessee, United Methodists passed an anti-bullying commitment, and over 70 percent of our Minnesota United Methodist voters oppose the anti-gay marriage amendment coming to the ballot in November.

“This past year, we also reached out to United Methodists in the Philippines and Africa where LGBT people can be incarcerated and executed. Across the spectrum, we are helping people take the next step wherever they are to foster the inclusive church we know Christ calls us to be.”

The Rev. Marti Scott, pastor at Euclid Avenue UMC in Oak Park, said, “We must refuse to obey unjust laws. In northern Illinois, our congregations are filled with LGBT persons who are in our Bible studies, leadership committees, and every aspect of ministry in the church. Our declaration in favor of LGBT people affirms the ministry we are already dedicated to and practicing.”

Rev. Lois McCullen Parr—pastor at Broadway UMC in Boystown—added, “It’s a luxury to be in northern Illinois and to serve in an open and affirming congregation filled with LGBT folks in leadership and ministry. I know there are people who left Tampa and went back to places that are hostile and do harm. I think that clergy members like myself need to be a witness to the wider church with the work that we do as members of the RMN.”

Of the RMN and its work, Ann Craig said, “As a lifelong United Methodist and the daughter of a minister, I know that Reconciling Ministries has opened the hearts, minds and doors of so many United Methodists.

“In my home church one young person recently came out and her parents were able to turn to their minister for support—largely because RMN has educated pastors across the country on the life-saving importance of welcoming everyone. At this General Conference we did not vote a policy change, but the church was changed. I believe we will see the United Methodist Church be more open, less punitive and more willing to set aside unfair—and even un-Christian—rules in favor of living out core values of love and service.”

See www.rmnetwork.org, www.gc12.org, and www.umcnic.org for more information.

The Signs of Love Conquering Fear Are Everywhere!

A Letter from the RMN Board of Directors

The signs of love conquering fear are everywhere! Supporters of Reconciling Ministries are doing more than ever before. The RMN Called to Witness campaigns in 2011 celebrated 67 regional events where 1595 reconciling persons engaged strategy, reconciling process, public narrative storytelling, and building teams. Of the 682 participants at Sing a New Song, over 100 were young adults.  We placed 500 calls to United Methodist delegates to General Conference. We gave $891,812 to support the mission locally, regionally, nationally, and internationally through Reconciling Ministries Network.

Your generosity made it possible for RMN to gather in coalition with the Methodist Federation for Social Action and Affirmation in early 2011 to plan Love Your Neighbor for both a regional and churchwide impact. Now we are living into the reality of a multinational church and underwrote our first staff persons to engage central conference relationships. You even helped us contract with media experts to conduct focus groups in Cote d'Ivoire and test messages in Uganda, Liberia, South Africa, and other countries to find common cause and build bridges.

Can We Sing a Song from The Same Page

By Peter L. DeGroote

(The following has been written with input from several long-term companions on the reconciling journey. I am thankful for their help but they are not responsible for errors of fact or judgment.)

Marriage equality was legally established in New York because Governor Cuomo required that the various, and sometimes competing, LGBT groups get on the same page. His support required their unity, which he saw necessary for success.

This lesson of “the same page” runs through my mind as I think about the various LGBT related resolutions heading to General Conference, which is often as convoluted and nefarious as any state legislature. Chief among them are those that would provide the following:

• Elimination from the Discipline of the declaration that “the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teachings.” (¶161.F)
• Elimination of the Disciplinary prohibition of the ordination of LGBT candidates.  (¶304.3)
• Allow the celebration by our clergy and in our churches, at the discretion of the pastor, in those civil jurisdictions that have approved civil unions or marriage equality laws.  (¶341.6)
• Complete removal of all restrictions and prohibitions on the celebration of marriage or civil unions by our clergy and in our churches. (¶341.6)
• Acceptance of the fact that the church suffers from institutional discrimination toward LGBT people and that all negative provisions concerning them should be removed from the Discipline.

Some argue the first priority should be elimination of the declaration that the practice of “homosexuality” is incompatible with Christian teaching. First adopted into the Social Principles in 1972, it served as the foundation for the exclusion from ordination, the ban on celebrating marriage/unions, and even the Judicial Council’s finding that local pastor can deny membership to LGBT people. Those supporting this priority claim that removal of the cornerstone would result in all else eventually falling.

Supporters of resolutions allowing for ordination of LGBT folks point to the many instances of highly qualified people being denied ordination, giving up their calling, or leaving the UMC for another denomination. Further momentum arises from those conferences that do not do not consider sexual identity a relevant factor in determining the qualifications of their candidates, the result being the routine ordination of otherwise qualified LGBT candidates. Further, the recent declaration of support for LGBT ordination by 33 retired bishops brings this into focus for many, their rationale being a clear statement of the many issues. (Note: the retired bishops proposal would eliminate only one of the two versions of the incompatibility language. The foundation declaration at ¶161.F would remain.)

The marriage equality resolutions differ in scope. The first allows for the celebration of marriages in those civil jurisdictions having adopted civil unions or a marriage equality law. It arises out of the many challenges faced by local churches and pastors in those jurisdictions: How do we respond to the pastoral needs of our LGBT members and community expectations?

Those who support the broader marriage equality resolutions take note of the quiet celebration of marriages and civil unions in our churches for quite some time, even where there is no civil legislation to provide a legal context.  For many a church marriage remains a marriage in the minds and spirit of the couple, the pastor, and the congregation. To them, restricting the celebration of LGBT marriage to those civil jurisdictions that have passed the necessary legislation not only seems prejudicial but an abandonment of the Church’s prophetic role, turning the church into an agency serving the state.

Back to the all on “the same page” lesson:  The above alternatives, and others, are related but energized by different experiences and values. Could they all pass? Could a single omnibus resolution including them all pass?  Can we figure out a strategy that allows us to find agreement on priorities and prevent our working against each other?

General Conference procedures further complicate the matter. As in most civil legislatures, resolutions first go to a legislative committee that can endorse, recommend against, combine, or let them die. Further, all LGBT resolutions will not go to the same committee. While the committee assignment of resolutions is not yet entirely clear, our ability to relate to the work of several different legislative committees is a critical factor. It is possible that some of us will go our own way without regard to an overall strategy, thereby diluting our ability to influence the outcomes.

One of the major advantages we have is that many of the people necessary to help us figure out a strategy will be at Sing a New Song in Port Huron, Ohio at the end of August. I do hope we are able to find a way that we can all sing from the same page.

---

Peter is a second career pastor who has served in several churches in the Baltimore-Washington Conference. Prior to his ordination, he was a secondary-school teacher, a university lecturer in Government, an Associate in a government related professional association, CEO of a national financial institution. Peter was involved in Mid-Atlantic Affirmation, served on the National Council of Affirmation, and sat on the Board of the Reconciling Congregations Program, the predecessor name for RMN and has worked with BWARM (Baltimore-Washington Reconciling United Methodists).

Holy Ground at Annual Conference

Rev. Sharon Seyfarth Garner - Lakeside, Ohio   June 2011

Here are a few words that you won’t often hear in relation to clergy session at Annual Conference – “We were standing on Holy Ground.”  However, this year at the East Ohio Annual Conference Clergy Executive Session, there we stood.  We experienced the power of a prophetic moment as we honored the decision of one of our beloved colleagues to leave the United Methodist Church and transfer her ordination credentials to a denomination that would honor both who God called her to be and who God created her to be.

We were progressing through the usual, long list of votes when we came to the transfer of credentials to another denomination. Our “yes” vote opened the door for Rev. Jennifer Steinfurth Brown to say farewell to the United Methodist Church and to begin a meaningful, new chapter of ministry.   When Jennifer stood to request a moment of personal privilege, the Holy Spirit rushed in like a mighty wind and filled the auditorium.  Dozens of colleagues rose and stood silently to show our support for Jennifer and to honor the years of dynamic ministry that she had shared with us.  As Jennifer began to speak, the Bishop stopped her.  She was “out of order” by attending the clergy session since she had technically transferred her membership several months ago, and we had just affirmed this by a formal vote moments before.  He was doing what those in charge are expected to do – uphold the rules.  However, this moment of holy conferencing was bigger than the “rules.”  I believe that our Bishop recognized this when he went on to say that Jennifer would be allowed to speak if someone from within the conference would invite her to do so. A clergy colleague made the necessary motion, and the subsequent show of hands became yet another sign of our collective affirmation.

With great courage and grace, Rev. Jennifer Steinfurth Brown began to speak again.  The Pentecostal presence of the Holy Spirit swirled in our midst. She shared words of love for the United Methodist church that had nurtured her since her birth.  She shared that she had been called to ministry even before she understood her own sexual identity.  She shared her struggle in the discernment process that led her to the faith-filled decision to leave her beloved United Methodist Church and join a communion that could embrace both her call to ministry and her sexuality.  She was bravely telling the truth of her own story.  As she spoke, additional colleagues who were moved by her words rose silently to show their support.  We stood together - humbled, amazed, tear-streaked and proud of the brave witness by our friend and colleague.  We were standing on Holy Ground.

As is often the case with transformative moments, there is both a sense of joy for new beginnings and sorrow for what will no longer be.  I am filled with profound joy that Jennifer has found a place where she can openly be the minister that God has called her to be. She can share her beautiful, blended family with her congregation. She will thrive! Yet, I am also filled with profound sorrow that our United Methodist Church was unable to embrace her on this journey. It is truly our loss. I began my own journey into ministry in the same Probationary Cluster as Jennifer over 15 years ago. I consider her to be one of my closest colleagues and dearest friends. Not only do I miss her now, but I miss the shared ministry that we would have celebrated together as lifelong United Methodist clergy. My heart is aching.

I pray for the day when the Spirit of Pentecost will permeate our church – when each one of us will be empowered to speak the truth of our own story and all will be understood. Only then will our beloved ‘cross and flame’ truly represent the tongues of fire that proclaim God’s love to all people.

Download Methodist Good Bye Speech

An Inclusive Congratulations

by Leland G. Spencer IV

Annual Conference season has arrived, so I wanted to take a moment to express congratulations to everyone who is being/has been commissioned or ordained at annual conference this year. Especially to allies and LGBTQ people who have navigated the arduous process of candidacy, I say, congratulations. I'm glad you're working from the inside to make the whole church a place that shares God's inclusive heart.

I also want to congratulate Reconciling United Methodists with different relationships to the candidacy process, as I think these relationships are valid, valuable, and under-appreciated.

I say congratulations to LGBTQ people and allies who have been deferred or denied because of who you are. Perhaps you were honest about your identity or your supportive views, and such honesty led to your exclusion. I'm sorry this happened, and I'm sorry that Boards of Ordained Ministry sometimes function as gatekeepers rather than bodies that exist to recognize and celebrate God's gifts for ministry in the lives of the called. But I say congratulations for your exclusion. The voices of religious and political authority who have a vested stake in the status quo will often work hard to protect it, and that sometimes means keeping out those with other perspectives. In the fact of boards that are especially draconian, you could have chosen to equivocate or even transfer to a more open conference, but you made a difficult and courageous decision. Congratulations.

And I say congratulations to those who feel called, but have voluntarily withdrawn or extricated themselves from candidacy. That, too, is a difficult and courageous choice, and one I made four years ago. It is one that means understanding our call in new ways, like being present for people who have had bad religious experiences and need an affirming voice from an intelligent layperson who doesn't represent the institution as such.

Finally, I say congratulations to those who remain in candidacy or process for ordained ministry, but do so in different denominations. We'll miss you in the UMC, but I'm glad you've found a place your gifts will be recognized and celebrated. I'm sorry you had to leave this denomination to find a home, but that, too, is a difficult and courageous choice.

This season of the year is a difficult one for me, as it always means revisiting the painfulness and difficulty of whatever choices allies and LGBTQ people who are called to ordained ministry in the UMC make. Right now, none of these options are fully adequate (and none of them are all bad). All of them, I hope, offer us glimpses, albiet incomplete, of how to be about the reconciling work of loving God and loving our neighbor.

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Leland G. Spencer IV, a lifelong United Methodist, is a PhD student in the department of communication studies at the University of Georgia, where he researches religious rhetoric as it intersects with gender and sexuality. Leland holds an M.A. in Communication from the University of Cincinnati (2009). While in Cincinnati, Leland served as the worship intern at the Wesley Foundation. Leland served as a part-time local pastor at Mapleton United Methodist Church in the East Ohio Conference from 2005 until 2007 when Leland withdrew from the candidacy process because of the United Methodist Church's exclusive position about the ordination of LGBT persons.

A Statement of Counsel to the Church - 2011

Out of concern for the welfare of all God’s people, and, out of special concern for the people of The United Methodist Church, we, United Methodist Bishops – retired, believe The United Methodist Church should remove the following statement from The Book of Discipline (2008):

“…The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.  Therefore self-avowed practicing homosexuals are not to be certified as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve in The United Methodist Church.”  ¶304.3

Our lives and ministries over the years have included prayerful, thoughtful consideration of our Holy Bible, our Wesleyan heritage, reflection on our experience of the church and world, and our conviction of God’s intention for a world transformed.

With this statement of conviction and counsel we seek:

• To affirm that the historic tests of “gifts and evidence of God’s grace” for ordained ministry override any past or present temporal restrictions such as race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.
• To urge the Church, ecumenical and denominational, to change the manner in which it relates to gay, lesbian and transgendered persons in official statements, judicial proceedings, and in congregational life.
• To declare our conviction that the current disciplinary position of The United Methodist Church, a part of our historical development, need not, and should not, be embraced as the faithful position for the future.
• To make known our names and shared personal conviction on this matter and to encourage other church and Episcopal leaders to do the same.

With increasing frequency we observe and experience the following disturbing realities and know them to be detrimental to the mission of a Church of Jesus Christ:

• Laity and clergy, gay and straight, withdrawing membership or absenting themselves from the support of congregational and denominational Church life in order to maintain personal integrity.
• Young adults, especially, embarrassed to invite friends and expressing dismay at the unwillingness of our United Methodist Church to alter its 39-year exclusionary stance.
• Closeted pastors, currently called and ordained in our church, living divided lives while offering effective appreciated ministry.
• Bishops being drained of energy by upholding Church Discipline while regarding it as contrary to their convictions.
• Bishops caught between care for the Church by reappointing an effective gay or lesbian pastor and care for the Discipline by charging them under current legislation.
• Seminary leaders desiring greater flexibility and openness from the church in order to advance their mission of identifying, recruiting, enrolling, educating and spiritually forming Christian leaders.
• Christian gay men and women understanding themselves called of God to seek ministry opportunities within their United Methodist family Church home, but having to decide between:
  • leaving to go to accepting denominations, or
  • staying and praying for change, or
  • challenging Church law and accepting punitive actions.

Our United Methodist Church, ashamed and repentant in the past, ended official and unofficial restrictions on candidacy, ordination and appointment for reason of race, gender and ethnicity. We believe the God we know in Jesus is leading us to issue this counsel and call – a call to transform our church life and our world.

United Methodist Episcopal Leaders-Retired

Sharon Z. Rader

Donald A. Ott

Beverly Shamana

C. Joseph Sprague

Melvin G. Talbert

S. Clifton Ives

Joe A. Wilson

William Lewis

Forrest Stith

Susan Morrison

Susan Hassinger

Judy Craig

Dale White

William Boyd Grove

C. P. Minnick

Kenneth L.  Carder

Roy I. Sano

Joe Yeakel

Kenneth Hicks

Joseph Humper

Monk Bryan

Jesse DeWitt

Jack Tuell

J. Lloyd Knox

Charles W. Jordan

J.  Lawrence McCleskey

Marshall L. Meadors, Jr.

Franz Schafer

Sheldon Duecker

Fritz Mutti

Cal McConnell

Leontine T. C. Kelly

On Asking & Telling

by Leland Spencer

I have to confess that I'm conflicted about the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Of course, as a feminist and a reconciling United Methodist, I support the right of any person to have any job without regard to her or his sexual orientation (or, for that matter, sex, gender, gender identity, or gender expression); however, something about supporting any effort that increases the number of people in the military doesn't sit right with me. If DADT is repealed, queer folks will have the same rights to get shot or have their bodies blown to bits as anyone else. Is that really the kind of equality we're working for in this movement? I'm not trying to be flippant; my concern is serious. If an underlying theme of this movement's work is human dignity and the sacred worth of each person, is that compatible with increased militarism?

Not having sorted entirely through this paradox, its very existence brings me to another: The UMC also has a DADT policy, but we describe it with bigger words and no contractions. And, clearly, I support the repeal of the church's version of DADT. Therefore, a fair question based on my concern in the first paragraph is whether adding out, practicing queer people into the current structure of the church actually does anything for human dignity. My initial answer is yes, and that the church and the military are different. I am privileged to have had moments in my life where I've seen the church at its best, so I know the church can be a source of hope in connecting people with the resource of faith, and indeed, in resisting evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves.

So, I conclude that I support the repeal of both DADT policies, though I am substantially more ambivalent about the first than the second.

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Leland G. Spencer IV, a lifelong United Methodist, is a PhD student in the department of speech communication at the University of Georgia, where he researches religious rhetoric as it intersects with gender and sexuality. Leland holds an M.A. in Communication from the University of Cincinnati (2009). While in Cincinnati, Leland served as the worship intern at the Wesley Foundation. Leland served as a part-time local pastor at Mapleton United Methodist Church in the East Ohio Conference from 2005 until 2007 when Leland withdrew from the candidacy process because of the United Methodist Church's exclusive position about the ordination of LGBT persons.

What MOSAIC Means to Me

by Justin Hull

In August of 2008 I reached a crossroads. I was getting ready to take the big plunge into being a certified candidate for becoming a pastor in The United Methodist Church. I had been working on the inquiry candidate process, and it was completed. I knew I had been called by God to serve in a very dramatic way.

However, there was one thing that I knew was still a “problem” of being gay even though I tried to bury it is as much as possible. I live in a very small town in West Virginia; so I started to look (as I have done before) to the Internet for answers.

I found answers through MOSAIC. I found a video of a man testifying on God’s call in his life while being openly gay. I found a blog of another guy who answered a lot of my questions. I found another video of the guy who I know and who was the worship leader of the West Virginia Annual Conference testifying at General Conference. The biggest difference of all from my previous times of looking for answers on the Internet was people. I know queer theology, but I did not know any LBGTQ Christians until then. Theology is important. I discussed and read theological resources, but people are the difference. I had an instant connection with these people because I have always been at home in The United Methodist Church.

As you can tell by my story the Internet was and is an important resource for me. It is a great way to reach out to places like a small town in West Virginia where a young man struggling with his sexuality can find hope. Today, I am an out and openly gay Christian who is ready and willing to testify to God’s love for everyone. I am glad to be working on the communication and theological resources team for MOSAIC. We are a group of LGBTQ young adults and allies working for equality in The United Methodist Church for all people.

I hope everyone reading this blog finds hope in midst of a denomination that says, “Open Hearts, Open Doors, Open Minds”, but does not really mean it. What scares me is the reality that I might have to find a different denomination to fulfill my call. Even if I have to switch to a different denomination, I always want to be working for equality in The United Methodist Church. However, I always have hope. I find courage in the witnesses of other churches that have been prophetic by standing up for marriage equality in the face of possible consequences. I find hope that The United Methodist Church will change. Our only Reconciling Congregation in West Virginia, Asbury, gives me hope. The people of MOSAIC and RMN give me hope.

MOSAIC, a young adult group affiliated with RMN working for the full inclusion LGBTQ people has started their own blog. This is a blog post from the point person for the blog. You can find the blog at mosaic.typepad.com

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Justin Hull lives and grew up in Moundsville, WV and is the point person for the MOSAIC blog. He works in the West Virginia Annual Conference for equality and plans to attend Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C. full time in the fall.

Episcopalians Confirm a Second Gay Bishop

"A majority of bishops and dioceses of the Episcopal Church have approved the election of the church's second openly gay bishop, The Rev. Mary D. Glasspool, a decision likely to increase the tension with fellow Anglican churches around the world that do not approve of homosexuality." - The  New York Times, Thursday, March 18, 2010

by Rev. Gilbert Caldwell

"Some of my best friends are Episcopalians/Anglicans". These friendships developed during the Civil Rights Movement in Boston and at protests/demonstrations around the nation. I was able to attend the enthronement of Bishop Desmond Tutu in Capetown, South Africa and one of my models for ministry has been that of the late Episcopal priest, Rev. Paul Washington, who was Priest at the Church of the Advocate in Philadelphia. The Church of the Advocate hosted the second National Black Power Conference (that I attended) in 1968, and the first ordination of women in the Episcopal Church (that I did not attend) in 1974.

It was said of the ministry of Father Washington that, "his leadership allowed the church to support rights rallies and protests and he with others developed what was called a Theology of Black Power. He believed that God intended all people, regardless of their race or gender to be vessels of God's power."

Despite its embrace and affirmation of God's expectations of intentional inclusivity of all  people, the Episcopal Church in America and as a member of the world-wide Anglican Communion has been viewed by some as violating Biblical tradition by ordaining women and electing women and Gay persons as Bishops. Bishop-elect Mary Glasspool now joins , V.Gene Robinson as  the second openly gay Bishop in the Episcopal Church.

What are the contradictions that some of our sisters and brothers in the Episcopal Church/Anglican Communion wrestle with as they resist inclusivity? Some do not believe that either women or gays should be ordained as clergy. Some believe that women, but not gays have the right to be ordained. Some believe that women can be ordained as Priests, but not elected as Bishops. Some believe that women should be ordained as Priests and elected as Bishops, but that gay persons should not be ordained as Priests nor elected as Bishops. And of course, praise God, there are Episcopalians/Anglicans who believe that the God who expressed Self in the person of Jesus Christ, "Calls" persons to ordination as clergy and election as Bishops, regardless of their gender, race or sexual orientation.

Audre Lorde is described as "one of the most important radical black feminists of the past half century. Her writings and speeches grappled with an impressive broad list of topics, including sexuality, race, gender, class, disease, the arts, parenting and resistance..." She writes; "There is no hierarchy of oppression." (I Am Your Sister, Collected and Unpublished Writings of Auddre Lorde, edited by Rudolph P. Byrd, Johnetta Betsch Cole, Beveryly Guy-Sheftall, Oxford University Press, 2009)

I return to the folk wisdom of my South Carolina grandmother, "Mama Irene" and paraphrase her "saying" that I have quoted over-and-over again. This time attempting to make it relevant for some of the struggles that some Episcopalians/Anglicans and United Methodists are having, accepting the God-given gifts for ministry that have been, that are, and will continue to be offered by same gender loving clergy, be they of the Anglican Communion or The United Methodist Church.

"There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, (regardless of our race, gender or sexual orientation), that it doesn't behoove any of us to talk about (or deny ordination and ministry) to the rest of us" (Whatever our race, gender or sexual orientation may be).

Thanks again, "Mama Irene". You understood as I have heard people say, "The ground at the foot of the Cross is level". You believed with Audre Lorde that there is no "hierarchy" of good folk or bad folk.

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The Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell is a retired United Methodist Minister who lives in Asbury Park, N.J. He was active in the Massachusetts unit of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) and participated in the civil-rights movement throughout the nation. In 2000, he, with others, organized the RMN Extension ministry United Methodists of Color for a Fully Inclusive Church (UMOC), an organization committed to the full inclusion of LGBT people in every aspect of church and society. His recent book, Something Within: Works by Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell is available from Church Within A Church.

Two Questions - Two Answers

Posted by Rev. Gilbert Caldwell

from TIME, March 22, 2010, 10 Questions. The South African Archbishop's new book makes the case for goodness. Desmond Tutu will now take your questions

What is your favorite Bible verse, and why? Satu Rahikainen, Tampere, Finland

Romans 5: 8. "Whilst we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." It sums up the Gospel wonderfully. We think we have to impress God so that God would love us. But he says,No, you are loved already, even at your worst.

Do you support the appointment of gay and lesbian clergy? Phillip Reinheimer,Penn Valley, California

Of course. If I don't support them, why support the appointment of any other person? Their sexuality is as much a part of who they are as my race is. They don't choose it. I don't choose it. Two of my chaplains when I was Archbishop were gay. One is now a bishop, and the other is the dean of a cathedral.

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The Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell is a retired United Methodist Minister who lives in Asbury Park, N.J. He was active in the Massachusetts unit of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) and participated in the civil-rights movement throughout the nation. In 2000, he, with others, organized the RMN Extension ministry United Methodists of Color for a Fully Inclusive Church (UMOC), an organization committed to the full inclusion of LGBT people in every aspect of church and society. His recent book, Something Within: Works by Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell is available from Church Within A Church.

an unlikely testimony

by Anonymous Clergy Candidate

when i first came to see LGBTQ people as a part of God's image, it was a process of years and months. it took multiple people intervening in my thought process, pastors hinting at other ideas of love, and friends giving me room to doubt.

when i realized i was a bisexual, it seemed to happen in a moment.  there was the initial thought a few years ago that it might be something i would think about, but i didn't “get it” until recently.  there i was sitting next to someone i had known and spent time with on multiple other occasions, and all i could think about is how beautiful she was to me in so many ways, and how lucky i was to be sitting with her.  it hit me that night – how amazing it is to finally see something after so many years.  as i went home, i cried tears of joy and surprise at what God was doing in my life.

i didn't make a conscious decision to change my orientation.  all i did was sit in the moment, and that was all it took for me to finally see another part of who i am.  since that night i've experienced a whirlwind of emotions.  i don't know if my feelings will be returned, but what i do know is that i have supportive and loving friends.  no matter what happens – even if she is the only one who makes me feel this way – i am so thankful that i am at a place where i know God loves me and has made me in God's image. i do not feel alone, and that is because of the movement of the holy spirit.

i don't know if i will ever be able to share this publicly in another way, but i want all of you to know that your work and witness matters.

Called By God

by Joey Heath

To have a prophetic voice. To speak with the authority of God. To speak the truth of God. To show the love of God in everyday. These are part of who a pastor should be.

I have been learning about the reformation in my church history class and how the people hungered for the word of God. One woman stood up because she was called by God when others were not willing to stand up and speak out with a prophetic voice. This woman was a contemporary of Martin Luther named Argula von Grumbach and if you ever get the chance to read her Letter to the University of Ingolstadt I highly recommend it. In this letter she took on the corrupt Roman Catholic establishment of the time and the persecutions of the reformers and used scripture to back up everything she said. In doing so she preached the word of God. That is what I call prophetic voice. She spoke out because she felt called by God to speak out.

God calls us all to do certain things. For some it may be to be a teacher. For some it may be to practice law. For some it may be to be a stay at home parent. And for some they are called to preach and share the love of God from the pulpit on Sunday mornings and wherever else they might be throughout the week. A calling from God, particularly to be a pastor, is a high calling to follow.

I have a calling and I hope those who read these blogs or hear me speak hear the prophetic voice of God coming through. I am called to be a pastor, an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church. Sadly I am not sure I will be able to become one at least for now. You see, because of the things I write about on here and my openness about who I am and the fact that I refuse to stop trying to be a prophetic voice particularly on the issues of sexuality and gender identity my candidacy will most likely be rejected. Sadly the United Methodist Church recognizes the call of many but not all. You see if you identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual (thank God there are no rules against being transgender, though some protection would be nice) then your candidacy is in jeopardy. The United Methodist Church actually actively rejects these that are called by God. They will recognize the gifts the person has and acknowledge they would be a great pastor and then reject them based on their sexuality. How can we a church who follows God reject those called by God? If a person is called by God shouldn't that be good enough for us to accept them?

Right now the church is losing good pastors who could have been the future leaders in the UMC. I know of several who have left the UMC for other denominations for this exact reason. They love the United Methodist Church and they feel called to be a pastor but because the UMC views them as a person of sacred worth who is unfortunately “incompatible with Christian teachings” they are rejected and in order to live out their calling they have left. Why are we letting this happen? When are we going to reject this notion that some how because someone loves a person of the same gender that they are damaged and unworthy? When are we going to stop riding the fence on this issue and speak as a church with prophetic voice claiming that all are equal and truly of sacred worth because they were created by God and called into God's service? When will we recognize the calling that God has placed on so many of the lives of LGBTQ people?

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Joey Heath is a 26 year old life long United Methodist. He is currently a graduate student at Wesley Theological Seminary completing his Masters in Divinity. Once an ordained pastor, Joey hopes he will be able to bring real change to the UMC on the issues of sexuality and gender identity at the broader church level, but also with individuals, so that one day the church will truly be a place that is inclusive of all people.

The Strength to Be Faithful

By Adrienne Trevathan

Anna has been much on my mind.  A few days ago was her official commemoration day, and I had the honor of reading some highlights from her life in a worship service.  Since then, her wisdom and strength have been a breath of fresh air for me throughout the week as I think about her struggle with the Methodists.

Anna Howard Shaw was the first woman to be ordained by the Methodist Protestants, a group who separated from the Methodist Episcopal Church in the early nineteenth century.  In 1875, The Methodist Episcopal Church refused to ordain Anna on the grounds that she was “inferior.”  Anna writes about the event:

And when they came to read out the names and all the young men went up to be ordained they read out our names and the Bishop refused them. Then afterwards we went to him and asked what we could do. We said we had been trained for ministry and that we believe the Lord intended us to preach and that the church refused to ordain us: we both had parishes where they were perfectly satisfied with us, except that we could not baptize or marry them, and we had to be ordained to do that; and what were we to do [?] He said we had better get out of the church. I asked what kind of encouragement would he think that was to a young man who had spent years preparing for the ministry to be told to get out of the church! He said he was sorry but that was all he could say. And I said I would not get out: that it was hard enough to get on anyhow and I wouldn’t waste my strength trying to fight the Church too, that I was going to be ordained and if they wouldn’t ordain me, I’d go where they would.
[Nancy N. Bahmueller, “My Ordination: Anna Howard Shaw,” Methodist History 14/2 (January 1976): 126-131. Excerpts.]

At the advice of a male colleague who advocated for women in ministry, Anna went before the Methodist Protestants for ordination.  After the interview, the committee of the Boston Conference took two days discussing Anna’s character before they finally called her back:

The next day they had me come back and they asked me a whole lot of questions. The first ones they asked were about [Saint] Paul of course. Did I know what Paul said and did I believe it. And I said yes. Then they said what did I [think] about his having said “Wives obey your husbands.” So I told them…and they hadn’t heard of that. Then I added, but even if he did mean as they said, it didn’t apply to me for I had no husband to obey. But they said I might have. I said I might have but if they believed in Paul the only thing for them was to ordain me, for I might have a husband who ordered me to preach and if they would ordain me now I could, whereas if they ordained me and he ordered me not to preach I could stop if I married. Well, of course that made them terribly mad…

Oh, they asked me all sorts of questions of that sort, but I had the best of them, for they were not educated people at all, and of course I was straight from studying the Bible in Hebrew and knew a great deal about it. And then of course I’d taken special pains with that part of the subject and knew all about it.

Finally, Anna was accepted for ordination as a Methodist woman.  As she stood for ordination, she was surrounded by a large crowd of people, most fascinated to see a woman ordained, some likely amused that it was happening in the first place:

I nearly died of shame. I was the only one being ordained and when I had to stand up there all alone I thought I should faint. The wife of Mark T., such a tiny little woman she was, just about a head and shoulder shorter than I, saw how I felt…and she came and stood with me and held my hand. I thought it was so nice of her. I’ve never forgotten it, it was one of the kindest things anyone could do. And she was an Episcopalian, too!

I find many things about her account powerful, not only for me, but potentially for all people who struggle with the Church and its definition of freedom.

First of all, Anna knew her limits.  She knew the struggle she would have as a woman, and she chose to find another community.  I think it’s important to recognize that she didn’t just leave her community out of frustration; she left it because she didn’t have the strength to fight it.  For Anna, being faithful to her call meant using that strength instead to walk through another door and prepare a way for other women.  She used the opportunity she had to be faithful.  Some LGBT brothers and sisters have found themselves in a similar situation and have been met with the choice of staying in the church or leaving it.  While it may be easy to critique them, perhaps we should remind ourselves of how much strength it takes to struggle for basic freedom and rights that the hetero-normative world takes for granted.     

Secondly, as we can see from Anna’s story, she was a woman who “knew her stuff.”  Not only did she know it, but it became such a part of her that those around her couldn’t deny it.  I also love her sense of humor in other sections of her account.  Who’s to say that the children of God can’t toss out a zinger every now and again?  I wouldn’t say that it’s only those fighting for rights, however, that need to speak and teach a new language to the church.

This brings me to my last point, which is that someone was there to hold her hand in her time of need.  I can only imagine what it must have felt like to be the first woman ordained, to stand in the spotlight of skeptical men who were calculating future failures.  Thank God for the “wife of Mark T.” who stood up next to her, gently grabbed her hand and gave her a breath of fresh air.  Thank God for everyone who has stood with anyone “Other” in this society and affirmed them.  Thank God for the people who have shown me that my sexuality is only one part of the beautiful story of God.    

As I think about freedom today in conjunction with Anna’s testimony, I am reminded
of what I’ve heard several people tell me in the last few years: Freedom is not the ability to make a choice.  Freedom is the ability for all people to have what God wants and desires for all to have.

I truly believe that God prepares a way for everyone; I guess you could say it’s part of my implicit theology.  It took me longer than I care to admit to realize this, but I can’t turn back.  My hope and prayer as an ally is that I can be one of the people who stands up to hold a hand and offer my love and energy.

I am haunted by the conclusion of Anna’s story:  

So that’s how I was ordained. It wasn’t very glorious. It was rather like sneaking into the ministry by the back door. But if they won’t open the front door to you, what else can you do? Some day they’ll open all the front doors and make a proper use of the enthusiasm for service that women have got—not only in ministry but everywhere. But until then we’ve got to keep climbing in the best ways we can. And there’s a good deal of fun to be got out of it if you can keep from being bitter and angry.

Keep climbing, people of God.  Keep reaching out for all God wants you to have.

I Am Fully Me At Last!

Rev. Ray Hinton

This is a portion of a letter I sent to a number of pastors, many of whom I have known 40 years. It is my coming out to them. I enclosed my Stand Tall Gay Man poem.

June 5, 2009

Background Information

At age 27 I was hospitalized in a psyche ward twice  – a month each

– followed by nearly 30 years of clinical depression. Now age 71.

In the past you have been there for me. Thank you. Now - as Paul Harvey would say, ‘I want you to know the rest of the story. I am a gay man. I could not tell you then!

Last night I hosted a Gay – Lesbian Social in my home. A few years ago a professional said, “This group is my safe place.”

Should anyone need a safe place, especially in the church?

What is the church?

I will not be attending Annual Conference. While I am not ashamed of who I am or what I have done, I am a bit tender. I struggled to understand who I am since youth. My gay nature was like a dog nipping at my heels until I reached down and petted it.

As you vote at Annual Conference, please be prayerfully aware of others like myself  (clergy and lay) who are still struggling within with their sexuality –extremely fearful of being found out. We are many in the UMC. An elder-care lawyer said, “Why is it most Methodist Ministers are gay?”

Having visited more than once in almost every home in every parish I served, I honestly believe the focus at Conference is merely a spot fire of the real issue facing our denomination. The anger present in our churches is often rooted in unhealed physical – emotional and spiritual pain especially when individuals (gay and non-gay) do not find here a HEALING PRESENCE.

Agape – unconditional love / acceptance does not imply approval. (This concept is vital to the understanding of acceptance!)

Health and empowering individuals to be all who God knows we already are is my continued focus.  As individuals are empowered the church likewise is empowered –in that order.

I can live with truth – not a lie. I am fully me at last!

Faithfully,

Rev. Raymond Hinton

Stand Tall Gay Men
Gay Pride It Be
> My Birthing  <

Stand Tall Gay Men
Very Tall
Proud Of Who We Be
Dubbed   Gay Pride
Healthily Proud

Prejudicial Persecution
Out Of Sight  =  Out Of Mind
Ashamed Of We  -  They Be
Grossly Misunderstood
Religious Bias
Disowned
Funerals Held
Vindictive Homophobic’s Vent Rage
In The Name Of Righteousness
Matthew Shepherd
(Remember Them In Your Heart}
Need I Say More
Need I say More

Shatters Our Worlds
My World
My Well Being Questioned
Hopes ‘n Dreams
Emasculated
Angry
Clinically Depressed
Frozen Rage It Be
Zilch Creativity
Frozen Mind
Near Non-Reader Me
Dumbest On Earth  -   Felt Me
Guilty To Even Be
Hopelessly Helpless
Felt Alone
Abandoned

Feared Rejection
Ridicule
Persecution
Grew Distant
Hardened Heart
Coldest Fish On Earth
Hid
Unconscious Insulation  -  It Be
Lived A Lie Did I
Closeted Its Called
Painfully Demoralized
A Coward
Ashamed of Me
Frantically Ran   --  From Me
Everything To Live For
(‘N Still Do)
But
It Didn’t Cut Mustard
Nor Happiness Bring
Prayed Nightly To Die
Twice Tried It

Disillusioned
Hope Gone
My Knight In Shining Armor Was Not
No Liberator  -   Out There
Would Never Be
Gut Wrenching
Hurting Deeply Within
Through Tear Stained Eyes
Dawned A Glimmer of Hope
A Refreshing Insight
Sparkling Clear Like Water
Life Emerges From Within
My Own Knight  -  Must I Be
My Cry Was Answered
The Miracle Could Yet Happen
Morning Light Follows Darkness of Night

Gay Pride’s The Answer
Potential Life It Brings
Claim    Who I Be
A Gay Man
Life Today   Could Yet Be
Depending On Me
Yes
Only Me
Life  ==   The Guts To Be


Simple Secret  --  Yet Profound
Believe In Myself
All Of Who I Am
A Gay Man ‘N A Man Of Faith
Stand Tall ‘n Claim My Worth
Right To Be
Much GOODNESS Within
Dubbed  >> ‘The God In Me’
Known By Many Names
Author of Life
Higher Power
> The Name You Cherish <
My Highest / Divine Self
Ah Ha
Yes
Empowering God Within
Encouraging Me To Be
Yes
Pride
Gay Pride
Stand Tall ‘n Be

Life
Permission To Be
Germinated From The Tiniest Seed
Slowly  - Slowly    –     Slowly Grew
Did I Mention Painfully Slow
Not Patient  -  Me?
Caged
Grew Angry
Struggled Through Rocky Resistant Soil
Stretched Upward Seeking Light  ‘n Fresh Air
Became Healthier ‘n Stronger
Gay Pride   -  Was The Life-Giving’ Seed
New Life There Be

Head Erect
Shoulders Back
Standing Tall
Empowered To Be    The Man I Am
Always Meant To Be
A Winner
Whole At Last
Bingo
Made It!
I Am Who I Am
Unashamedly   -   A Man Of Faith
‘N Gay To The Core
Not What I Do
Who I Am
Me

Incredible
Age Seventy  -  My Search’s Ended
Truth Discovered
Everything’s Within
Patiently Waiting On Me
Amazing It Be
Strength, Courage, Resiliency
Source of Happiness ‘n Friendships Too
My Own Liberating Agent  -  Energized Within
Gay Pride Turns The Key
Pride
Yes
Gay Pride Turns The Key

Indoctrinated
Ingrained Strongly Within
Pride’s Sinful
Homosexuality Too
Progress  -  Status Changed
Mental Illness It Became
Enlightenment ?
Helpful?
An Alternate Life Style
Healthy View
Quickly Reverted
Sin Again

Gay Meant Happy   -  Joyful –   Cheerful
Still Does
The Rainbow’s Our Symbol
Beautiful It Be
Colorful Rainbows Transform Storms
Beautiful Gay Be

Gray Is Gorgeous
Amazing Gray Matter A Gift To Me
Essential
Essential
Did I Say Essential
Think – Think – Think Some More
Our Ace In The Hole
Use It or Lose It
Well Endowed Are We
Understanding Empowers
Initiates Chain Reactions
Gives Courage To Risk
Sets Captives Free
Is There Life Without Risk?
What?  -  Tell Me!
Stand Tall Gay Men
Cherish ‘n Be

My Heart Aches
For Men Everywhere
Who Search A Lifetime For Happiness
Minds Fraught
Hearts Aching
Unrealized Hopes ‘n Dreams
Empty, Aching, Longing, Terrified , Angry
Gay – Bisexual – Transgender
Encompassing All Ages ‘n Races
Men of Worth  -  Each Unique
Definitely   –    Definitely  Men
Caught In The Hangman’s Noose
Geographical, Cultural ‘n Religious
Marital Situation, Family ‘n Friends
Fearing Aids
Quality Men of Value ‘n Worth
Each Wonderfully Unique
Struggling To Be

Caring Healing Presence
Pilot Me
Increase My Faith In Others
More Sensitive
My Heart More Caring
More Appreciative Be
Respecting Other’s Intelligence
Each Capable   -  Wise Choices Make
Open My Eyes To See As You See
Good In Others
Strengths ‘n Contributions
Kind Loving Hearts
Tenderness  ‘n Compassion
Wisdom ‘n Creativity
Your Own Child
Your Presence In Each
Dear To You

Gentle Shepherd
May I Slow Down ‘n Recall
My Own Rocky Path
May I Never Forget
Those Who Were There For Me
Lest I Forget ‘n Judge
Offering Un-requested Advice
May I Respect Others’ Intelligence
‘N Fix Not What May Not Be Broken
But Trust My Bothers
‘N You  O Tender One
For What You Alone Do Best

God Of Our Forefathers
Healthy Encouraging Affirming Parent
May I Never Forget Those who Paved Freedoms’ Way
Gay   ‘n    Straight
Sacrifices Made  ---  Their Sweat, Blood And Tears
The For-runners Of Life For Me Today
Spiritual Giants
Gay ‘n  Straight
Their Sacrifices Made  ---  Sweat, Blood ‘n Tears
Martin Luther
Mahatma Gandhi
Martin Luther King
‘N Those Who Led Me To My Heart
St Francis Of Assisi
Henry J. No-win
‘ N Men Who Died Standing Tall
Proud To Be Gay
May I Also Be

Sensitizer
May I Harden Not My Heart
For Our Persecutors
Angry Homophobic’s  -  Hurting Too Are They
Similar To We
Inward War Zones  -  Vent Their Hurt On We
Un-healed Pain   -  Often Rooted Elsewhere
Just Angry They Be
Often Self-Hate  -  Denial Of Who They Be
Transgender  -  Bi-Sexual  -  Gay
Simply Mirrors Are We
Reflections Of Who They Be  -  Often Unknowingly
Fearful
Ashamed Of Inner Struggle
Hurting – Hurting - Hurting
Vent Anger On We
Merely Dumping Grounds   Are We

Solace Within
Thank You For You
May I Be More Understanding ‘n Forgiving
Those I Hurt Along The Way  -  Family ‘n Friends
Struggling With My Growth ‘n Moods
Like A Seedling Breaking Ground
Necessary For Me To Be
Their Well-being Also Questioned
Images Of Me  -  Shattered
They Too Throbbing Within
Thank You O Gentle One
Your Presence  -   I n Them Also Be
A Solace Within

Thank You
Transforming Empowering One
It’s In The Head
It’s In The Heart
At The Top Of The Mountain I Be
Glimpsing The Promised Land
The Journey Has Not Ended
It Has Only Begun
My Birthing It Be
The Future’s Unknown
No Promises  Nor Easy Sledding
Nor Guarantees Given
A Bit Scary It Be

Guiding Spirit
Whatever Comes
Whatever May Be
May I Always Pause To Remember
The Long Line Of Splendor
Of Those Who Paved The Way
‘N Also Courageously
Stand Tall ‘N Be
Me.   

Ray Hinton,
UMC Clergy
February 2008

Another loss

By Ann Thompson Cook

My congregation Dumbarton UMC’s seminary intern is leaving both Dumbarton and the United Methodist Church.

Mike’s eyes are open. He knows that when it’s time to seek ordination, he and his new husband will not be welcome in the UMC. So we lose yet another life-long Methodist.

Mike submitted his letter of resignation to the Church Council last week. Please join us in the prayer we shared that night, tearfully offered by Rev. Mary Kraus.

O God, in the Spirit revealed in Jesus Christ, 

we bring our anger and our sorrow 

for the sinfulness of the United Methodist Church. 

You constantly remind us that 

we are created in your image and loved by you. 

And yet tonight, our hearts ache at the church’s exclusion of our brother Mike 

because of the way you created him. 

We ask how long must the church continue in this way. 

We ask why, and at times like this, 

it is very difficult to hear or feel your response. 

And so, all we can do is bring our laments and seek strength 

to keep working for justice. 

In the liberating power of the Christ, we bring you this prayer.  

Amen.

 Ann Thompson Cook directs the God Loves Each One Ministry, http://www.gleo.org

"I Have No Need of You"

By David E Braden

A recent article in the New York Times reads, “Conservatives Expected to Split Episcopal Church.” Honestly, the idea of this schism really frightens me. I mean, these people want to create their own denomination within the Anglican Communion claiming they are the rightful Church over the Episcopal Church in the USA. These same people want not only to bar queer people from the ministry but women as well. I look at the primary photo of this article and I wonder for whom these Bishops are "saving" their Church? Who will be leading it in 50 years when they're all dead? But that's morbid ...

Realities like the ones portrayed in this article make me wonder, “What is it like to be in the midst of such a rupture within the Body of Christ?”

All of the Protestants in their day and age had their reasons for doing what they did – godly and ungodly.

But what does it say when groups bid adieu to the Mother Church? What is a “good” reason to secede from the Church and form your own denomination?

My thoughts on this are really fixed on the image of the Body of Christ given to the Church in Corinth.

1 Corinthians 12

¹² For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. ¹³For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit. [...]
²¹The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’, nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ ²²On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³and those members of the body that we think less honourable we clothe with greater honour, and our less respectable members are treated with greater respect; ²⁴whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honour to the inferior member, ²⁵that there may be no dissension within the body, but the members may have the same care for one another. ²⁶If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honoured, all rejoice together with it.

I think this is really a discussion about what it means to be in community together. If we are to be a healthy community then we cannot be telling entire groups “I have no need of you.” This is when we invoke "dissension" within the body – when we fight against the Body itself instead of the Evil that plagues our world.

I am still vehemently concerned with what will happen to the Church Universal, the holy catholic Church, if we continue to segment ourselves apart from one another according to our individual beliefs and affinity groups. Are we really still the Body of Christ?

I’m worried about our own restructuring of our own United Methodist Church. Will our considerations of the world-wide nature of the Church reflect a restructuring that encourages dialogue, interaction, missions and having to work together across lines of difference – including lines of class, gender, race, sexual orientation, nationality and all the other human categories – something that truly encourages our uniquely Methodist Connexion?

Or will reorganize so that everyone is safe to worship in comfortable homogeneity? Gays with gays, whites with whites in one corner, people of color in another, and the Church outside of the USA all on its own?

We may save our denomination from schism in this fashion but I wonder how much of the Church we’d still really be … Are we really still the Body of Christ?

Give to Caesar

By Jayson Dobney

The other night I had dinner with a close friend who is in the ordination process.  She is preparing for a meeting with her Board of Ordained Ministry and shared with me her struggles with taking the vows necessary to become ordained.  Her struggle, as I have heard from others in the ordination track, is how she can take these vows, while at the same time remaining authentic to her own faith and her role to seek justice for all of God's people. 

As I sat with her and talked about her call, cried with her about the injustice of the United Methodist Church, and talked with her about the various interpretations of the language of the vows, I freely admit that it was hard for me to completely understand the struggle.  I have not been called to ordained ministry and I do not understand why a person would try and justify their own understanding of clearly written words.   

Much less difficult, I transferred my own membership to a new congregation in the City where I now live.  I saw those vows as being to the local church and in a way, I saw my choice as a gay man to join a UM church as an act of Civil Disobedience.  In a way, I was standing with other GLBT people who had been denied membership in local UM churches. 

As we talked about what it meant to stay in the United Methodist church and take different paths, it reminded me of the story in the Gospels where Jesus is confronted with the question about whether his followers should pay taxes to the Roman government.  Implicit in the question, is that by paying taxes, they were participating in the unjust actions of the institution of the state.  His response was to Give to Caesar what was Ceasar's and to give to God what was God's.       

As a gay man, I see the United Methodist church as another unjust institution.  These vows that we are compelled to take to be a member or to become ordained are the price we must pay to be a part of this system.  It is the tax.  We give to the United Methodist Church that which is of the United Methodist Church - empty, hollow words.  At the same time, we give to God our hearts and our lives, including our work that requires us to work within the unjust sytem of the United Methodist church so that someday we will have justice for All People.   

Living Tomorrow Today- Extraordinary Ordination

By Becca Clark

There are times when you fight for all you’re worth to make change happen. There are times when you bang your head against the wall until it hurts. There are times when you nurse your wounds and pray for strength to pick up the struggle another day.

And then there are the times when you ignore the status quo, ignore the lack of progress, ignore the laundry list of what separates the now from the should-be and could-be and must-be, and you act as if we were already living as the community of radical, inclusive love we are called to be.

That’s what I did on Sunday, with about 300 other people.

We gathered in Baltimore in Mount Vernon Place United Methodist Church, a place steeped in United Methodist history, and just about a mile from the church where the first Conference of the American Methodists was held. We sang new songs and spoke original liturgy. We heard the prophetic words of Jesus and Isaiah (read through tears), that the Spirit of the Lord declares good news to the poor, recovery of sight for the blind, liberation for the captives, and the year of the Lord, and heard the preacher, Rev. Dr. Traci West echo Christ in her sermon, proclaiming that “today, this scripture is fulfilled in our hearing.” Rev. Dr. West reminded us that in the beginning of the Methodist movement, a group of people gathered together, and “just decided that they would BE the church,” and that we stood on their shoulders as we too gathered, and decided.

And so we did.

Two retired United Methodist bishops, sponsors, partners, family members, friends, and members of the assembled congregation came forward and laid hands upon two women who had been denied ordination previously. We ordained them.

The ordination was truly extraordinary, in that it was outside the rules of the UMC, and in that the women ordained were themselves most extraordinary.

The Rev. Jenna Zirbel had her candidacy process terminated in her conference, despite the unanimous support of her district committee, because of her support for the full inclusion of glbt persons and other marginalized people. The Rev. Annie Britton, who is a dear friend of mine and a classmate, and one of the most perfectly loving, pastoral people I’ve met, was removed from both her church and her candidacy when she shared with her congregation that she and her wife Terry were legally married in Massachusetts.

Jenna seems like a lovely woman, and a grace-filled pastor, and I don’t want her to be a footnote, but I was there, with my friend M, for Annie. As the candidates were asked a variation of the historic questions before us, I couldn’t take my eyes off her, how her chin trembled and her eyes shone with tears as she responded to each question. When they asked the congregation to respond, I looked straight into her eyes and practically yelled, “Let us ordain them!” When they called us forward, I bulldozed a line through the crowd, and M and I placed our hands on Annie’s back, alongside those of her parents and her wife and her sponsor, and with Bishop Susan Morrison (another one of the most wonderful and gifted and inspiring women I am blessed to call a colleague), spoke words of ordination.

As she and Jenna consecrated communion, Annie’s face was alight with joy. Had she been the leader of a rag-tag band of refugees fleeing Egypt, they’d have made her veil her face; she shone with the presence of the living God, the love of God radiating from her pores.

Of course, part of her shimmer may have been the tears in my eyes as well.

Moments like that make me proud to be a Methodist, and a pastor, and call myself a Christian. I have, in moments like those, hope that the Spirit of inclusion, a spirit I see as fully Biblical and fully blessed, will eventually win out. I believe in those moments that the arc of history, as Rev. Dr. King reminds us, is long but bends toward justice.

What the reaction will be in the days and weeks ahead is beyond me. Will these ordinations be ignored? Will they be repealed? Will they be grudgingly accepted (I doubt that latter)? Will those involved be sanctioned or slapped on their proverbial wrists, or celebrated as visionaries? These are the questions, when we stand at moments that define change, moments when folks refuse to look back or count the odds, but instead live as if the vision were already realized, live tomorrow today.

Absent Gifts

By Darrius D. Hills

Greetings all--I am new to this blogging experience, but I'd like to begin by sharing some of the thoughts I had months ago during General Conference, which I did not attend, but that I did pay attention to the proceeding. 

This past session, and its vote to uphold the "incompatibility" of homosexuality, inspired a few thoughts in my mind. I am vexed over the potential loss of gifts of the persons who are excluded because of the church's policies. I understand that my reading is somewhat utilitarian--that is, I'm looking at the good of the whole (the UMC) as I consider the exclusion of a body within the body.  I am morbidly ashamed that we are losing great persons--with great perspectives--with great gifts because of some of these policies.

When I was 13, my Dad (a Methodist pastor) used a gumball machine in his office to explain his view of ecclesiology to me. He told me that the church, was a "smorgasbord of different sizes, colors, bodies, flavors, peoples, perspectives, and GIFTS--all united for the purpose of serving God." Furthermore, he explained, "all the pieces in this ecclesial smorgasbord are valued by God." That imagery still sticks with me today. Simply put, the church is losing. The church is losing the presence of many Spirit-filled, talented persons, and for that, I remain angry. Because of the prejudices of a few, many persons are turning their back on the UMC, and I say we all suffer as a result.

I don't speak of suffering in a quantitative sense (i.e. I don't care about the UMC 'attendance roles'). Here, I speak of qualitative suffering as a result of the GC's decision; in a word, we are losing the profound voices, perspectives, and gifts of a community of persons who we need to remain present WITHIN our congregations. We can ill afford their absence. Further, this qualitative suffering is also coupled with charismatic deficiency.

Charisma is Greek for gifts/graces...Thus, as the UMC continues to exclude the GLBT community, the church will render itself anemic due to a deficiency of charismatic diversity. In a word, the church is losing a variety of gifts from the very people that they are excluding.

How much greater would the church become by recognizing, affirming, and utilizing the gifts of ALL its members--without regard for where the gifts are found?!?! When will we learn that none of us has a monopoly on God’s blessings? When will we understand that none of us has the authority to exclude any person from the body of Christ? When will our feeble minds grasp that the power of the Holy Spirit to instill and cultivate gifts within ALL of God’s people is WITHOUT BOUNDS?

Who I am and how my gifts are used are nothing APART from who you are and how your gifts are used--it's all connected. There is an interrelatedness present among all human creatures. Like a tapestry, we are woven together by intricate cords of time--of destiny--of purpose. Within this cosmic tapestry, God is our Seamstress--who sustains all the threads and ties them all together. There are many threads in this tapestry...if you neglect one thread, the WHOLE withers and gradually diminishes.

I pray that the UMC and the church universal upholds and commits itself to a sense of interrelatedness with all persons, despite our differences. Only then can the absent gifts of our excluded sisters and brothers find full expression and affirmation.

Methodists Don't Play Cards

by Will Green

This last week many of us were studying the story of the Israelites' oppression in Egypt. God turned my heart to remembering newcomers in the United States, God's people who aren't documented by our government.

At Northeastern Jurisdictional Conference one of my friends asked us what we were going to do as a Conference about undocumented people whom God has called to ordained ministry in our church. I suppose I'll blame the fact that I'm on white for the fact that I never considered this possibility before. But I'll also give credit to the fact that I'm gay for the instant appreciation and solidarity I felt once she said this.

As the king of Egypt in the Exodus story showed, there is a very small distance between thinking that someone doesn't have the right to exist in your land and thinking they don't have the right to exist at all. Oppressive policies lead very quickly to extermination. Hurting leads to death. So I'm fearing for the very lives of people who are subject to persecution because of their land of origin or path to this country.  And I'm fearing for the total safety of people facing any type of persecution.

Like the Exodus story, brave solidarity will save us. Solidarity like the maidens, the mothers, the sisters, the midwives and Pharaoh's daughter showed to the Israelites. The women showed it to the Israelite boys because they knew what it was like to be at the margins. They also probably knew what it was like not to have anyone stand up for them.

So they drew Moses out of the water.

Now I'm praying that God herself will draw me out of the waters. Draw me out of the waters of racism and xenophobia, draw me out of the waters of isolation from others, draw me out of the waters that make me afraid of being accused of 'playing a race card.'

Methodists don't play cards. We're too busy doing God's work.

from the Presbyterians

By Heather Murphy

The Presbyterian Church (USA)'s General Assembly has, not surprisingly, been as hotly discussing the question of GLBT inclusion as we have in our happy little Methodist corner of Christendom.  Where our issues of the year were church membership and "compatibility with Christian teaching" (will any of us ever be able to hear that phrase without flinching again?), the Presbyterians were talking about marriage and ordination.  On marriage, the church voted to keep language that defines a marriage as existing between a man and a woman, by a thundering 77-33 percent majority.  Thanks a lot, Presbyterian Church.  I'm sure all the married Presbyterians who happen to be gay are drinking a toast to you as they flip through their phone books for nearby UCC congregations. 

On ordination, they did a little better; they sent a recommendation to the regional presbyteries that would lift the requirement that ministers, elders, and deacons must either be celibate or married to someone of the opposite sex.  Even my eternal starry-eyed optimism doesn't stretch far enough to allow me to believe that one will pass, but I'm always happy to be wrong in situations like this.  Besides, that opens the door not only to married gay pastors but also to pastors who host wild orgies in the parsonage, doesn't it?  I think I'm against that.

They also passed an interesting resolution which allows individual candidates to object to the requirement, which would, if I'm understanding my source correctly, open the door for local presbyteries and church councils to go ahead and ordain a gay or lesbian candidate anyway?  Or maybe not?  Or maybe ordain them, after which their ordination gets challenged and they get to spend the next few years debating the question in church court?  Lucky them; is there any nicer way to start a career in ministry than with an ordination that comes with a built-in guarantee of public airing of your private life and a fun-filled potential defrocking in the indefinite future? 

Here's a longer story at 365Gay about the Presbyterian assembly.

Not Going to Ordination This Year

By Leland Spencer

Today is Tuesday, June 17, and this evening, in Hoover Auditorium at Lakeside, the East Ohio Conference will hold its annual service of ordination. For the first time in a decade, I won't be at the service. I feel sad about that. It is my favorite worship service, and it is the service where, in 1999, I felt a call to ordained ministry in the United Methodist Church. June 17 is the 9-year anniversary of that day, the most powerful experience in my spiritual journey.

On June 25, 2007, I went to the district office and told my district superintendent I was withdrawing from the candidacy process because I am gay. I had spent considerable hours in prayer and discernment--many of them in the meditation room of the Dewald Chapel at Mount Union College, where I was finishing my undergraduate experience--and I concluded that I needed to be fully United Methodist and fully honest about my sexual orientation in order to live the most authentic life possible as I grow in grace in my relationship with God in Christ through the Holy Spirit. I know that many faithful lesbian and gay United Methodists called to ordained ministry make other decisions, and while I respect and celebrate those persons and their decisions, I knew that withdrawing was the most faithful thing I could do.

So why won't I be in Hoover auditorium tonight? Maybe it's selfish, but I don't want to have that uncomfortable conversation over and over. I don't want to feel that I'm confessing the sin that isn't to every lay and clergy person in the East Ohio Conference who has expressed support for my call to ministry over the years. I don't want to spend another evening crying as I watch bishops place red stoles on the shoulders of the ordinands. Most of all, I cannot handle watching the powerful call at the end of the service, when the bishop invites people who feel called to ministry to come to the front and pray with members of the BOOM. I don't want to deal with the impact of thinking about each person, knowing how called each is, and wondering which calls the church will honor and which it will deny.

I know there will be lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, queer, and questioning persons in the congregation tonight, and I wonder how they will feel when a liturgist affirms the ministry of all baptized persons in the life of the church. I also know there are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, queer, and questioning persons who won't be there tonight, perhaps because the church speaks of the call of all baptized persons in word but not in deed. I am among those persons absent, and I believe God grieves each seat left empty because of the church's homophobia.