Reconciling Ministries Network

an unlikely testimony

by Anonymous Clergy Candidate

when i first came to see LGBTQ people as a part of God's image, it was a process of years and months. it took multiple people intervening in my thought process, pastors hinting at other ideas of love, and friends giving me room to doubt.

when i realized i was a bisexual, it seemed to happen in a moment.  there was the initial thought a few years ago that it might be something i would think about, but i didn't “get it” until recently.  there i was sitting next to someone i had known and spent time with on multiple other occasions, and all i could think about is how beautiful she was to me in so many ways, and how lucky i was to be sitting with her.  it hit me that night – how amazing it is to finally see something after so many years.  as i went home, i cried tears of joy and surprise at what God was doing in my life.

i didn't make a conscious decision to change my orientation.  all i did was sit in the moment, and that was all it took for me to finally see another part of who i am.  since that night i've experienced a whirlwind of emotions.  i don't know if my feelings will be returned, but what i do know is that i have supportive and loving friends.  no matter what happens – even if she is the only one who makes me feel this way – i am so thankful that i am at a place where i know God loves me and has made me in God's image. i do not feel alone, and that is because of the movement of the holy spirit.

i don't know if i will ever be able to share this publicly in another way, but i want all of you to know that your work and witness matters.

Called By God

by Joey Heath

To have a prophetic voice. To speak with the authority of God. To speak the truth of God. To show the love of God in everyday. These are part of who a pastor should be.

I have been learning about the reformation in my church history class and how the people hungered for the word of God. One woman stood up because she was called by God when others were not willing to stand up and speak out with a prophetic voice. This woman was a contemporary of Martin Luther named Argula von Grumbach and if you ever get the chance to read her Letter to the University of Ingolstadt I highly recommend it. In this letter she took on the corrupt Roman Catholic establishment of the time and the persecutions of the reformers and used scripture to back up everything she said. In doing so she preached the word of God. That is what I call prophetic voice. She spoke out because she felt called by God to speak out.

God calls us all to do certain things. For some it may be to be a teacher. For some it may be to practice law. For some it may be to be a stay at home parent. And for some they are called to preach and share the love of God from the pulpit on Sunday mornings and wherever else they might be throughout the week. A calling from God, particularly to be a pastor, is a high calling to follow.

I have a calling and I hope those who read these blogs or hear me speak hear the prophetic voice of God coming through. I am called to be a pastor, an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church. Sadly I am not sure I will be able to become one at least for now. You see, because of the things I write about on here and my openness about who I am and the fact that I refuse to stop trying to be a prophetic voice particularly on the issues of sexuality and gender identity my candidacy will most likely be rejected. Sadly the United Methodist Church recognizes the call of many but not all. You see if you identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual (thank God there are no rules against being transgender, though some protection would be nice) then your candidacy is in jeopardy. The United Methodist Church actually actively rejects these that are called by God. They will recognize the gifts the person has and acknowledge they would be a great pastor and then reject them based on their sexuality. How can we a church who follows God reject those called by God? If a person is called by God shouldn't that be good enough for us to accept them?

Right now the church is losing good pastors who could have been the future leaders in the UMC. I know of several who have left the UMC for other denominations for this exact reason. They love the United Methodist Church and they feel called to be a pastor but because the UMC views them as a person of sacred worth who is unfortunately “incompatible with Christian teachings” they are rejected and in order to live out their calling they have left. Why are we letting this happen? When are we going to reject this notion that some how because someone loves a person of the same gender that they are damaged and unworthy? When are we going to stop riding the fence on this issue and speak as a church with prophetic voice claiming that all are equal and truly of sacred worth because they were created by God and called into God's service? When will we recognize the calling that God has placed on so many of the lives of LGBTQ people?

---

Joey Heath is a 26 year old life long United Methodist. He is currently a graduate student at Wesley Theological Seminary completing his Masters in Divinity. Once an ordained pastor, Joey hopes he will be able to bring real change to the UMC on the issues of sexuality and gender identity at the broader church level, but also with individuals, so that one day the church will truly be a place that is inclusive of all people.

The Many Meanings of Pride

By Darrell Spurlock, Jr.

I've had some conversations recently with friends inside and outside the church about the notion of "pride."  Some of my friends suggest that pride can only truly be had when there are no boundaries on that pride – when pride can live freely.  Others suggest that it is enough to have pride in the progress we are making toward having a truly inclusive church.  Yet others experience moral distress in eating spiritually at a table that is not fully open to all that may wish to dine there.  These folks may attend reconciling or welcoming churches, but the reality that the larger denominational body still does not support the full inclusion of LGBT persons is distressing.

I even know some folks who secretly support the full inclusion of LGBT persons but whom would never go so far as to advocate for it.  This may be a majority of folks, perhaps, given results of surveys like those from the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life which reports that among United Methodists surveyed, 51% said that homosexuality should be accepted, and only 39% said it should be discouraged.  Only 10% responded either neither/both or don't know/refused to answer.  This is a very different notion of United Methodists than what exists in the minds of most UM folks.  What would the UM church look like if the 51/39 split were carried out through its policies, practices, and leadership?

It would be a church we could all be proud of, I think.  A church that welcomed and affirmed all, no matter what their sexual orientation or gender identity.  A church that would welcome into the full life of the church whosoever comes, and would extend that welcome to ordain leaders whose values reflect this inclusive and welcoming tone.  Most importantly, this would be a church that is proud of all its members, and all of the ways in which we are all different, yet still God’s children.

Photo © 2009 - R. Wells.  Reproduced with permission. (Thanks, Robin!)

The Strength to Be Faithful

By Adrienne Trevathan

Anna has been much on my mind.  A few days ago was her official commemoration day, and I had the honor of reading some highlights from her life in a worship service.  Since then, her wisdom and strength have been a breath of fresh air for me throughout the week as I think about her struggle with the Methodists.

Anna Howard Shaw was the first woman to be ordained by the Methodist Protestants, a group who separated from the Methodist Episcopal Church in the early nineteenth century.  In 1875, The Methodist Episcopal Church refused to ordain Anna on the grounds that she was “inferior.”  Anna writes about the event:

And when they came to read out the names and all the young men went up to be ordained they read out our names and the Bishop refused them. Then afterwards we went to him and asked what we could do. We said we had been trained for ministry and that we believe the Lord intended us to preach and that the church refused to ordain us: we both had parishes where they were perfectly satisfied with us, except that we could not baptize or marry them, and we had to be ordained to do that; and what were we to do [?] He said we had better get out of the church. I asked what kind of encouragement would he think that was to a young man who had spent years preparing for the ministry to be told to get out of the church! He said he was sorry but that was all he could say. And I said I would not get out: that it was hard enough to get on anyhow and I wouldn’t waste my strength trying to fight the Church too, that I was going to be ordained and if they wouldn’t ordain me, I’d go where they would.
[Nancy N. Bahmueller, “My Ordination: Anna Howard Shaw,” Methodist History 14/2 (January 1976): 126-131. Excerpts.]

At the advice of a male colleague who advocated for women in ministry, Anna went before the Methodist Protestants for ordination.  After the interview, the committee of the Boston Conference took two days discussing Anna’s character before they finally called her back:

The next day they had me come back and they asked me a whole lot of questions. The first ones they asked were about [Saint] Paul of course. Did I know what Paul said and did I believe it. And I said yes. Then they said what did I [think] about his having said “Wives obey your husbands.” So I told them…and they hadn’t heard of that. Then I added, but even if he did mean as they said, it didn’t apply to me for I had no husband to obey. But they said I might have. I said I might have but if they believed in Paul the only thing for them was to ordain me, for I might have a husband who ordered me to preach and if they would ordain me now I could, whereas if they ordained me and he ordered me not to preach I could stop if I married. Well, of course that made them terribly mad…

Oh, they asked me all sorts of questions of that sort, but I had the best of them, for they were not educated people at all, and of course I was straight from studying the Bible in Hebrew and knew a great deal about it. And then of course I’d taken special pains with that part of the subject and knew all about it.

Finally, Anna was accepted for ordination as a Methodist woman.  As she stood for ordination, she was surrounded by a large crowd of people, most fascinated to see a woman ordained, some likely amused that it was happening in the first place:

I nearly died of shame. I was the only one being ordained and when I had to stand up there all alone I thought I should faint. The wife of Mark T., such a tiny little woman she was, just about a head and shoulder shorter than I, saw how I felt…and she came and stood with me and held my hand. I thought it was so nice of her. I’ve never forgotten it, it was one of the kindest things anyone could do. And she was an Episcopalian, too!

I find many things about her account powerful, not only for me, but potentially for all people who struggle with the Church and its definition of freedom.

First of all, Anna knew her limits.  She knew the struggle she would have as a woman, and she chose to find another community.  I think it’s important to recognize that she didn’t just leave her community out of frustration; she left it because she didn’t have the strength to fight it.  For Anna, being faithful to her call meant using that strength instead to walk through another door and prepare a way for other women.  She used the opportunity she had to be faithful.  Some LGBT brothers and sisters have found themselves in a similar situation and have been met with the choice of staying in the church or leaving it.  While it may be easy to critique them, perhaps we should remind ourselves of how much strength it takes to struggle for basic freedom and rights that the hetero-normative world takes for granted.     

Secondly, as we can see from Anna’s story, she was a woman who “knew her stuff.”  Not only did she know it, but it became such a part of her that those around her couldn’t deny it.  I also love her sense of humor in other sections of her account.  Who’s to say that the children of God can’t toss out a zinger every now and again?  I wouldn’t say that it’s only those fighting for rights, however, that need to speak and teach a new language to the church.

This brings me to my last point, which is that someone was there to hold her hand in her time of need.  I can only imagine what it must have felt like to be the first woman ordained, to stand in the spotlight of skeptical men who were calculating future failures.  Thank God for the “wife of Mark T.” who stood up next to her, gently grabbed her hand and gave her a breath of fresh air.  Thank God for everyone who has stood with anyone “Other” in this society and affirmed them.  Thank God for the people who have shown me that my sexuality is only one part of the beautiful story of God.    

As I think about freedom today in conjunction with Anna’s testimony, I am reminded
of what I’ve heard several people tell me in the last few years: Freedom is not the ability to make a choice.  Freedom is the ability for all people to have what God wants and desires for all to have.

I truly believe that God prepares a way for everyone; I guess you could say it’s part of my implicit theology.  It took me longer than I care to admit to realize this, but I can’t turn back.  My hope and prayer as an ally is that I can be one of the people who stands up to hold a hand and offer my love and energy.

I am haunted by the conclusion of Anna’s story:  

So that’s how I was ordained. It wasn’t very glorious. It was rather like sneaking into the ministry by the back door. But if they won’t open the front door to you, what else can you do? Some day they’ll open all the front doors and make a proper use of the enthusiasm for service that women have got—not only in ministry but everywhere. But until then we’ve got to keep climbing in the best ways we can. And there’s a good deal of fun to be got out of it if you can keep from being bitter and angry.

Keep climbing, people of God.  Keep reaching out for all God wants you to have.

I Am Fully Me At Last!

Rev. Ray Hinton

This is a portion of a letter I sent to a number of pastors, many of whom I have known 40 years. It is my coming out to them. I enclosed my Stand Tall Gay Man poem.

June 5, 2009

Background Information

At age 27 I was hospitalized in a psyche ward twice  – a month each

– followed by nearly 30 years of clinical depression. Now age 71.

In the past you have been there for me. Thank you. Now - as Paul Harvey would say, ‘I want you to know the rest of the story. I am a gay man. I could not tell you then!

Last night I hosted a Gay – Lesbian Social in my home. A few years ago a professional said, “This group is my safe place.”

Should anyone need a safe place, especially in the church?

What is the church?

I will not be attending Annual Conference. While I am not ashamed of who I am or what I have done, I am a bit tender. I struggled to understand who I am since youth. My gay nature was like a dog nipping at my heels until I reached down and petted it.

As you vote at Annual Conference, please be prayerfully aware of others like myself  (clergy and lay) who are still struggling within with their sexuality –extremely fearful of being found out. We are many in the UMC. An elder-care lawyer said, “Why is it most Methodist Ministers are gay?”

Having visited more than once in almost every home in every parish I served, I honestly believe the focus at Conference is merely a spot fire of the real issue facing our denomination. The anger present in our churches is often rooted in unhealed physical – emotional and spiritual pain especially when individuals (gay and non-gay) do not find here a HEALING PRESENCE.

Agape – unconditional love / acceptance does not imply approval. (This concept is vital to the understanding of acceptance!)

Health and empowering individuals to be all who God knows we already are is my continued focus.  As individuals are empowered the church likewise is empowered –in that order.

I can live with truth – not a lie. I am fully me at last!

Faithfully,

Rev. Raymond Hinton

Stand Tall Gay Men
Gay Pride It Be
> My Birthing  <

Stand Tall Gay Men
Very Tall
Proud Of Who We Be
Dubbed   Gay Pride
Healthily Proud

Prejudicial Persecution
Out Of Sight  =  Out Of Mind
Ashamed Of We  -  They Be
Grossly Misunderstood
Religious Bias
Disowned
Funerals Held
Vindictive Homophobic’s Vent Rage
In The Name Of Righteousness
Matthew Shepherd
(Remember Them In Your Heart}
Need I Say More
Need I say More

Shatters Our Worlds
My World
My Well Being Questioned
Hopes ‘n Dreams
Emasculated
Angry
Clinically Depressed
Frozen Rage It Be
Zilch Creativity
Frozen Mind
Near Non-Reader Me
Dumbest On Earth  -   Felt Me
Guilty To Even Be
Hopelessly Helpless
Felt Alone
Abandoned

Feared Rejection
Ridicule
Persecution
Grew Distant
Hardened Heart
Coldest Fish On Earth
Hid
Unconscious Insulation  -  It Be
Lived A Lie Did I
Closeted Its Called
Painfully Demoralized
A Coward
Ashamed of Me
Frantically Ran   --  From Me
Everything To Live For
(‘N Still Do)
But
It Didn’t Cut Mustard
Nor Happiness Bring
Prayed Nightly To Die
Twice Tried It

Disillusioned
Hope Gone
My Knight In Shining Armor Was Not
No Liberator  -   Out There
Would Never Be
Gut Wrenching
Hurting Deeply Within
Through Tear Stained Eyes
Dawned A Glimmer of Hope
A Refreshing Insight
Sparkling Clear Like Water
Life Emerges From Within
My Own Knight  -  Must I Be
My Cry Was Answered
The Miracle Could Yet Happen
Morning Light Follows Darkness of Night

Gay Pride’s The Answer
Potential Life It Brings
Claim    Who I Be
A Gay Man
Life Today   Could Yet Be
Depending On Me
Yes
Only Me
Life  ==   The Guts To Be


Simple Secret  --  Yet Profound
Believe In Myself
All Of Who I Am
A Gay Man ‘N A Man Of Faith
Stand Tall ‘n Claim My Worth
Right To Be
Much GOODNESS Within
Dubbed  >> ‘The God In Me’
Known By Many Names
Author of Life
Higher Power
> The Name You Cherish <
My Highest / Divine Self
Ah Ha
Yes
Empowering God Within
Encouraging Me To Be
Yes
Pride
Gay Pride
Stand Tall ‘n Be

Life
Permission To Be
Germinated From The Tiniest Seed
Slowly  - Slowly    –     Slowly Grew
Did I Mention Painfully Slow
Not Patient  -  Me?
Caged
Grew Angry
Struggled Through Rocky Resistant Soil
Stretched Upward Seeking Light  ‘n Fresh Air
Became Healthier ‘n Stronger
Gay Pride   -  Was The Life-Giving’ Seed
New Life There Be

Head Erect
Shoulders Back
Standing Tall
Empowered To Be    The Man I Am
Always Meant To Be
A Winner
Whole At Last
Bingo
Made It!
I Am Who I Am
Unashamedly   -   A Man Of Faith
‘N Gay To The Core
Not What I Do
Who I Am
Me

Incredible
Age Seventy  -  My Search’s Ended
Truth Discovered
Everything’s Within
Patiently Waiting On Me
Amazing It Be
Strength, Courage, Resiliency
Source of Happiness ‘n Friendships Too
My Own Liberating Agent  -  Energized Within
Gay Pride Turns The Key
Pride
Yes
Gay Pride Turns The Key

Indoctrinated
Ingrained Strongly Within
Pride’s Sinful
Homosexuality Too
Progress  -  Status Changed
Mental Illness It Became
Enlightenment ?
Helpful?
An Alternate Life Style
Healthy View
Quickly Reverted
Sin Again

Gay Meant Happy   -  Joyful –   Cheerful
Still Does
The Rainbow’s Our Symbol
Beautiful It Be
Colorful Rainbows Transform Storms
Beautiful Gay Be

Gray Is Gorgeous
Amazing Gray Matter A Gift To Me
Essential
Essential
Did I Say Essential
Think – Think – Think Some More
Our Ace In The Hole
Use It or Lose It
Well Endowed Are We
Understanding Empowers
Initiates Chain Reactions
Gives Courage To Risk
Sets Captives Free
Is There Life Without Risk?
What?  -  Tell Me!
Stand Tall Gay Men
Cherish ‘n Be

My Heart Aches
For Men Everywhere
Who Search A Lifetime For Happiness
Minds Fraught
Hearts Aching
Unrealized Hopes ‘n Dreams
Empty, Aching, Longing, Terrified , Angry
Gay – Bisexual – Transgender
Encompassing All Ages ‘n Races
Men of Worth  -  Each Unique
Definitely   –    Definitely  Men
Caught In The Hangman’s Noose
Geographical, Cultural ‘n Religious
Marital Situation, Family ‘n Friends
Fearing Aids
Quality Men of Value ‘n Worth
Each Wonderfully Unique
Struggling To Be

Caring Healing Presence
Pilot Me
Increase My Faith In Others
More Sensitive
My Heart More Caring
More Appreciative Be
Respecting Other’s Intelligence
Each Capable   -  Wise Choices Make
Open My Eyes To See As You See
Good In Others
Strengths ‘n Contributions
Kind Loving Hearts
Tenderness  ‘n Compassion
Wisdom ‘n Creativity
Your Own Child
Your Presence In Each
Dear To You

Gentle Shepherd
May I Slow Down ‘n Recall
My Own Rocky Path
May I Never Forget
Those Who Were There For Me
Lest I Forget ‘n Judge
Offering Un-requested Advice
May I Respect Others’ Intelligence
‘N Fix Not What May Not Be Broken
But Trust My Bothers
‘N You  O Tender One
For What You Alone Do Best

God Of Our Forefathers
Healthy Encouraging Affirming Parent
May I Never Forget Those who Paved Freedoms’ Way
Gay   ‘n    Straight
Sacrifices Made  ---  Their Sweat, Blood And Tears
The For-runners Of Life For Me Today
Spiritual Giants
Gay ‘n  Straight
Their Sacrifices Made  ---  Sweat, Blood ‘n Tears
Martin Luther
Mahatma Gandhi
Martin Luther King
‘N Those Who Led Me To My Heart
St Francis Of Assisi
Henry J. No-win
‘ N Men Who Died Standing Tall
Proud To Be Gay
May I Also Be

Sensitizer
May I Harden Not My Heart
For Our Persecutors
Angry Homophobic’s  -  Hurting Too Are They
Similar To We
Inward War Zones  -  Vent Their Hurt On We
Un-healed Pain   -  Often Rooted Elsewhere
Just Angry They Be
Often Self-Hate  -  Denial Of Who They Be
Transgender  -  Bi-Sexual  -  Gay
Simply Mirrors Are We
Reflections Of Who They Be  -  Often Unknowingly
Fearful
Ashamed Of Inner Struggle
Hurting – Hurting - Hurting
Vent Anger On We
Merely Dumping Grounds   Are We

Solace Within
Thank You For You
May I Be More Understanding ‘n Forgiving
Those I Hurt Along The Way  -  Family ‘n Friends
Struggling With My Growth ‘n Moods
Like A Seedling Breaking Ground
Necessary For Me To Be
Their Well-being Also Questioned
Images Of Me  -  Shattered
They Too Throbbing Within
Thank You O Gentle One
Your Presence  -   I n Them Also Be
A Solace Within

Thank You
Transforming Empowering One
It’s In The Head
It’s In The Heart
At The Top Of The Mountain I Be
Glimpsing The Promised Land
The Journey Has Not Ended
It Has Only Begun
My Birthing It Be
The Future’s Unknown
No Promises  Nor Easy Sledding
Nor Guarantees Given
A Bit Scary It Be

Guiding Spirit
Whatever Comes
Whatever May Be
May I Always Pause To Remember
The Long Line Of Splendor
Of Those Who Paved The Way
‘N Also Courageously
Stand Tall ‘N Be
Me.   

Ray Hinton,
UMC Clergy
February 2008

Another loss

By Ann Thompson Cook

My congregation Dumbarton UMC’s seminary intern is leaving both Dumbarton and the United Methodist Church.

Mike’s eyes are open. He knows that when it’s time to seek ordination, he and his new husband will not be welcome in the UMC. So we lose yet another life-long Methodist.

Mike submitted his letter of resignation to the Church Council last week. Please join us in the prayer we shared that night, tearfully offered by Rev. Mary Kraus.

O God, in the Spirit revealed in Jesus Christ, 

we bring our anger and our sorrow 

for the sinfulness of the United Methodist Church. 

You constantly remind us that 

we are created in your image and loved by you. 

And yet tonight, our hearts ache at the church’s exclusion of our brother Mike 

because of the way you created him. 

We ask how long must the church continue in this way. 

We ask why, and at times like this, 

it is very difficult to hear or feel your response. 

And so, all we can do is bring our laments and seek strength 

to keep working for justice. 

In the liberating power of the Christ, we bring you this prayer.  

Amen.

 Ann Thompson Cook directs the God Loves Each One Ministry, http://www.gleo.org

"I Have No Need of You"

By David E Braden

A recent article in the New York Times reads, “Conservatives Expected to Split Episcopal Church.” Honestly, the idea of this schism really frightens me. I mean, these people want to create their own denomination within the Anglican Communion claiming they are the rightful Church over the Episcopal Church in the USA. These same people want not only to bar queer people from the ministry but women as well. I look at the primary photo of this article and I wonder for whom these Bishops are "saving" their Church? Who will be leading it in 50 years when they're all dead? But that's morbid ...

Realities like the ones portrayed in this article make me wonder, “What is it like to be in the midst of such a rupture within the Body of Christ?”

All of the Protestants in their day and age had their reasons for doing what they did – godly and ungodly.

But what does it say when groups bid adieu to the Mother Church? What is a “good” reason to secede from the Church and form your own denomination?

My thoughts on this are really fixed on the image of the Body of Christ given to the Church in Corinth.

1 Corinthians 12

¹² For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. ¹³For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit. [...]
²¹The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’, nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ ²²On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³and those members of the body that we think less honourable we clothe with greater honour, and our less respectable members are treated with greater respect; ²⁴whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honour to the inferior member, ²⁵that there may be no dissension within the body, but the members may have the same care for one another. ²⁶If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honoured, all rejoice together with it.

I think this is really a discussion about what it means to be in community together. If we are to be a healthy community then we cannot be telling entire groups “I have no need of you.” This is when we invoke "dissension" within the body – when we fight against the Body itself instead of the Evil that plagues our world.

I am still vehemently concerned with what will happen to the Church Universal, the holy catholic Church, if we continue to segment ourselves apart from one another according to our individual beliefs and affinity groups. Are we really still the Body of Christ?

I’m worried about our own restructuring of our own United Methodist Church. Will our considerations of the world-wide nature of the Church reflect a restructuring that encourages dialogue, interaction, missions and having to work together across lines of difference – including lines of class, gender, race, sexual orientation, nationality and all the other human categories – something that truly encourages our uniquely Methodist Connexion?

Or will reorganize so that everyone is safe to worship in comfortable homogeneity? Gays with gays, whites with whites in one corner, people of color in another, and the Church outside of the USA all on its own?

We may save our denomination from schism in this fashion but I wonder how much of the Church we’d still really be … Are we really still the Body of Christ?

Give to Caesar

By Jayson Dobney

The other night I had dinner with a close friend who is in the ordination process.  She is preparing for a meeting with her Board of Ordained Ministry and shared with me her struggles with taking the vows necessary to become ordained.  Her struggle, as I have heard from others in the ordination track, is how she can take these vows, while at the same time remaining authentic to her own faith and her role to seek justice for all of God's people. 

As I sat with her and talked about her call, cried with her about the injustice of the United Methodist Church, and talked with her about the various interpretations of the language of the vows, I freely admit that it was hard for me to completely understand the struggle.  I have not been called to ordained ministry and I do not understand why a person would try and justify their own understanding of clearly written words.   

Much less difficult, I transferred my own membership to a new congregation in the City where I now live.  I saw those vows as being to the local church and in a way, I saw my choice as a gay man to join a UM church as an act of Civil Disobedience.  In a way, I was standing with other GLBT people who had been denied membership in local UM churches. 

As we talked about what it meant to stay in the United Methodist church and take different paths, it reminded me of the story in the Gospels where Jesus is confronted with the question about whether his followers should pay taxes to the Roman government.  Implicit in the question, is that by paying taxes, they were participating in the unjust actions of the institution of the state.  His response was to Give to Caesar what was Ceasar's and to give to God what was God's.       

As a gay man, I see the United Methodist church as another unjust institution.  These vows that we are compelled to take to be a member or to become ordained are the price we must pay to be a part of this system.  It is the tax.  We give to the United Methodist Church that which is of the United Methodist Church - empty, hollow words.  At the same time, we give to God our hearts and our lives, including our work that requires us to work within the unjust sytem of the United Methodist church so that someday we will have justice for All People.   

Living Tomorrow Today- Extraordinary Ordination

By Becca Clark

There are times when you fight for all you’re worth to make change happen. There are times when you bang your head against the wall until it hurts. There are times when you nurse your wounds and pray for strength to pick up the struggle another day.

And then there are the times when you ignore the status quo, ignore the lack of progress, ignore the laundry list of what separates the now from the should-be and could-be and must-be, and you act as if we were already living as the community of radical, inclusive love we are called to be.

That’s what I did on Sunday, with about 300 other people.

We gathered in Baltimore in Mount Vernon Place United Methodist Church, a place steeped in United Methodist history, and just about a mile from the church where the first Conference of the American Methodists was held. We sang new songs and spoke original liturgy. We heard the prophetic words of Jesus and Isaiah (read through tears), that the Spirit of the Lord declares good news to the poor, recovery of sight for the blind, liberation for the captives, and the year of the Lord, and heard the preacher, Rev. Dr. Traci West echo Christ in her sermon, proclaiming that “today, this scripture is fulfilled in our hearing.” Rev. Dr. West reminded us that in the beginning of the Methodist movement, a group of people gathered together, and “just decided that they would BE the church,” and that we stood on their shoulders as we too gathered, and decided.

And so we did.

Two retired United Methodist bishops, sponsors, partners, family members, friends, and members of the assembled congregation came forward and laid hands upon two women who had been denied ordination previously. We ordained them.

The ordination was truly extraordinary, in that it was outside the rules of the UMC, and in that the women ordained were themselves most extraordinary.

The Rev. Jenna Zirbel had her candidacy process terminated in her conference, despite the unanimous support of her district committee, because of her support for the full inclusion of glbt persons and other marginalized people. The Rev. Annie Britton, who is a dear friend of mine and a classmate, and one of the most perfectly loving, pastoral people I’ve met, was removed from both her church and her candidacy when she shared with her congregation that she and her wife Terry were legally married in Massachusetts.

Jenna seems like a lovely woman, and a grace-filled pastor, and I don’t want her to be a footnote, but I was there, with my friend M, for Annie. As the candidates were asked a variation of the historic questions before us, I couldn’t take my eyes off her, how her chin trembled and her eyes shone with tears as she responded to each question. When they asked the congregation to respond, I looked straight into her eyes and practically yelled, “Let us ordain them!” When they called us forward, I bulldozed a line through the crowd, and M and I placed our hands on Annie’s back, alongside those of her parents and her wife and her sponsor, and with Bishop Susan Morrison (another one of the most wonderful and gifted and inspiring women I am blessed to call a colleague), spoke words of ordination.

As she and Jenna consecrated communion, Annie’s face was alight with joy. Had she been the leader of a rag-tag band of refugees fleeing Egypt, they’d have made her veil her face; she shone with the presence of the living God, the love of God radiating from her pores.

Of course, part of her shimmer may have been the tears in my eyes as well.

Moments like that make me proud to be a Methodist, and a pastor, and call myself a Christian. I have, in moments like those, hope that the Spirit of inclusion, a spirit I see as fully Biblical and fully blessed, will eventually win out. I believe in those moments that the arc of history, as Rev. Dr. King reminds us, is long but bends toward justice.

What the reaction will be in the days and weeks ahead is beyond me. Will these ordinations be ignored? Will they be repealed? Will they be grudgingly accepted (I doubt that latter)? Will those involved be sanctioned or slapped on their proverbial wrists, or celebrated as visionaries? These are the questions, when we stand at moments that define change, moments when folks refuse to look back or count the odds, but instead live as if the vision were already realized, live tomorrow today.

Absent Gifts

By Darrius D. Hills

Greetings all--I am new to this blogging experience, but I'd like to begin by sharing some of the thoughts I had months ago during General Conference, which I did not attend, but that I did pay attention to the proceeding. 

This past session, and its vote to uphold the "incompatibility" of homosexuality, inspired a few thoughts in my mind. I am vexed over the potential loss of gifts of the persons who are excluded because of the church's policies. I understand that my reading is somewhat utilitarian--that is, I'm looking at the good of the whole (the UMC) as I consider the exclusion of a body within the body.  I am morbidly ashamed that we are losing great persons--with great perspectives--with great gifts because of some of these policies.

When I was 13, my Dad (a Methodist pastor) used a gumball machine in his office to explain his view of ecclesiology to me. He told me that the church, was a "smorgasbord of different sizes, colors, bodies, flavors, peoples, perspectives, and GIFTS--all united for the purpose of serving God." Furthermore, he explained, "all the pieces in this ecclesial smorgasbord are valued by God." That imagery still sticks with me today. Simply put, the church is losing. The church is losing the presence of many Spirit-filled, talented persons, and for that, I remain angry. Because of the prejudices of a few, many persons are turning their back on the UMC, and I say we all suffer as a result.

I don't speak of suffering in a quantitative sense (i.e. I don't care about the UMC 'attendance roles'). Here, I speak of qualitative suffering as a result of the GC's decision; in a word, we are losing the profound voices, perspectives, and gifts of a community of persons who we need to remain present WITHIN our congregations. We can ill afford their absence. Further, this qualitative suffering is also coupled with charismatic deficiency.

Charisma is Greek for gifts/graces...Thus, as the UMC continues to exclude the GLBT community, the church will render itself anemic due to a deficiency of charismatic diversity. In a word, the church is losing a variety of gifts from the very people that they are excluding.

How much greater would the church become by recognizing, affirming, and utilizing the gifts of ALL its members--without regard for where the gifts are found?!?! When will we learn that none of us has a monopoly on God’s blessings? When will we understand that none of us has the authority to exclude any person from the body of Christ? When will our feeble minds grasp that the power of the Holy Spirit to instill and cultivate gifts within ALL of God’s people is WITHOUT BOUNDS?

Who I am and how my gifts are used are nothing APART from who you are and how your gifts are used--it's all connected. There is an interrelatedness present among all human creatures. Like a tapestry, we are woven together by intricate cords of time--of destiny--of purpose. Within this cosmic tapestry, God is our Seamstress--who sustains all the threads and ties them all together. There are many threads in this tapestry...if you neglect one thread, the WHOLE withers and gradually diminishes.

I pray that the UMC and the church universal upholds and commits itself to a sense of interrelatedness with all persons, despite our differences. Only then can the absent gifts of our excluded sisters and brothers find full expression and affirmation.