Reconciling Ministries Network

Working to Keep the Story Alive

by Rachel Birkhahn-Rommelfanger

“I believe that telling our stories illuminates the world one voice at a time.” - Dan Curtis

 

We gathered to honor the people and an organization working to preserve the stories of African American United Methodists. The African American Heritage Foundation (AAMHC) has worked on creating an archive to house this great narrative. A narrative of persons who struggle to keep a story alive as the bearers of the stories age and pass on to glory; the story of people in a white majority church, who at times worry they will be silenced. The AAMHC is keeping alive the ministry, mission and vision of African Americans in the UMC. This center reminds the UMC of the great gifts, soulful songs, and deep pain of African Americans within our Methodist heritage.

I was honored one Friday night in December to don my best black evening dress and rainbow shawl to represent the Reconciling Ministries Network Board at the African American Methodist Heritage Center’s Ten Year Commemoration. On this night, the story of Reconciling Ministries Network and the African American Methodist Heritage Center were able to intertwine.

The Signs of Love Conquering Fear Are Everywhere!

A Letter from the RMN Board of Directors

The signs of love conquering fear are everywhere! Supporters of Reconciling Ministries are doing more than ever before. The RMN Called to Witness campaigns in 2011 celebrated 67 regional events where 1595 reconciling persons engaged strategy, reconciling process, public narrative storytelling, and building teams. Of the 682 participants at Sing a New Song, over 100 were young adults.  We placed 500 calls to United Methodist delegates to General Conference. We gave $891,812 to support the mission locally, regionally, nationally, and internationally through Reconciling Ministries Network.

Your generosity made it possible for RMN to gather in coalition with the Methodist Federation for Social Action and Affirmation in early 2011 to plan Love Your Neighbor for both a regional and churchwide impact. Now we are living into the reality of a multinational church and underwrote our first staff persons to engage central conference relationships. You even helped us contract with media experts to conduct focus groups in Cote d'Ivoire and test messages in Uganda, Liberia, South Africa, and other countries to find common cause and build bridges.

Meaning What We Say, Saying What We Mean

by Leland G. Spencer IV

In my everyday life, I study rhetoric. That means I read and write a lot about messages--what they do, what they mean, and a variety of ways to think about them. Sometimes, I get accused of "reading too much into things," and I often wonder if I do read too much into things or if my accusers just accept messages superficially without reading into them at all.

In that spirit, I have to confess that I'm baffled by two messages I've seen in the last few weeks. Maybe I'm reading too much into them, but I don't suspect so. I believe I'm perceiving messages that might not be obvious at first glance, but that deserve a second thought.

First, I visited a church while I was traveling a few weeks ago, and a bulletin insert said, "All church dinner, Thursday night. Get a babysitter--this one is ADULTS ONLY." In this case, I was alarmed at the church's narrow definition of "All church." Evidently, only adults are a part of this church. What are the children? A nuissance? The church of the future? I'm not sure. Oh, and lest we think all adults are included, remember that adults with children are only welcome if they can find a babysitter, so the hosts of the church dinner must define "All church" as middle-class adults, adults with no children, or adults with older children. Am I against adult-only activities? No! But there are ways to have such activities without prohibitively defining "church" to include only certain people. How about "Adult Night Out--drop the kids at church where free childcare is being provided, and come for a tasty dinner at 7pm!"

Last week, as I was on the way to a "Love Your Neighbor" training session, I passed a UM church whose sign advertised a "Fall Festival for Everyone." Here, the definitional problems are extra-textual, as that sign by itself is benign. However, I've been to that church, and I know from experience that "Everyone" does not mean everyone. For people like me, that particular church is a place of violence, exclusion, and pain. The sign says it's for everyone, but it really means, "everyone who already thinks and believes like we do." When people do disagree with something in that church, they're asked to leave. Does that sound like a place for everyone?

In both cases, the messages communicated are dangerous. In the first place, "All church" is defined too narrowly. In the second, the message of welcome isn't genuine. I offered a solution for the first problem, but the second is more complex and has implications for Reconciling Communities and Reconciling Individuals. Anyone can put "Fall Festival for Everyone" or "All are Welcome" on a church sign. Living out that welcome is a different and more difficult matter. From my point of view, it's better not to have a welcoming statement than to have one that isn't genuine.

How do you define "everyone"? What does "All" mean to you?

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Leland G. Spencer IV, a lifelong United Methodist, is a PhD candidate in the department of communication studies at the University of Georgia, where he researches religious rhetoric as it intersects with gender and sexuality. Leland holds an graduate certificate in Women's Studies from the University of Georgia (2011) and an MA in Communication from the University of Cincinnati (2009). While in Cincinnati, Leland served as the worship intern at the Wesley Foundation. Leland is a 2007 graduate of Mount Union College (now known as University of Mount Union), a United Methodist-related school in Alliance, Ohio. Leland served as a part-time local pastor at Mapleton United Methodist Church in the East Ohio Conference from 2005 until 2007 when Leland withdrew from the candidacy process because of the United Methodist Church's exclusive position about the ordination of LGB persons.

The Not So Impossible Dream

by Violet Fenn

With the recent amazing developments from several Annual Conferences, including resolutions passed to eliminate the “incompatible with Christian teaching” section from the Book of Discipline, and the church trial of Rev. Amy DeLong, I have been pondering about my future in the United Methodist Church. I am a transgender woman and currently identify as a lesbian. Right now, the latter would automatically prevent me from ordination. Despite this, I am currently in seminary and plan on beginning the process to pursue ordination.

Why am I doing this? One of the reasons is that I’m a dreamer. I dream of the day that the United Methodist Church will be fully inclusive of everyone and anyone called to the ministry will be able to be ordained.

I’m a lover of Broadway musicals. One song that I’ve kept coming back to is “The Impossible Dream” from the musical Man of La Mancha. The lead character, Don Quixote is a dreamer. Unfortunately, his dreams are in some ways unrealistic and delusional. In fact, he believes his romantic interest, Aldonza, is a lady of nobility when in reality she’s a prostitute. Despite all of the evidence to the contrary, Don Quixote refuses to believe her. At one point in the musical, Aldonza asks him why he goes around doing good deeds and believes her to be something she isn’t. He replies by singing “The Impossible Dream.” His quest is to “fight the unbeatable foe,” “right the unrightable wrong,” and “run where the brave dare not go.” His optimism is admirable, but sadly it’s an unrealistic pursuit.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call the naysayers foes, but of course there are Methodists against full inclusion and I would venture to say that many view our work as impossible as Don Quixote’s quest. It’s not an impossible task. Evidence of this comes from the resolutions passed by several Annual Conferences as well as statements from clergy pledging to perform same-sex unions. We are closer than ever before and we can’t stop now.

This is why I am attending Sing A New Song in August. I can sense change in the air and it’s given me another boost to keep pursuing the dream we all have. The dream is fantastic and closer to coming true. To quote from another musical, The Sound of Music, we should “climb ev’ry mountain, ford ev’ry stream, follow every rainbow ‘til you find your dream.” Keep on singing, keep on climbing. Keep the dream alive.

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Violet Fenn is currently a United Methodist in exile due to a lack of reconciling congregations in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she lives and is attending a UCC church. She began her gender transition in 2008 and has been active working against bigotry and intolerance for many years. She is active in MOSAIC and the leader of its TransJustice working group. This fall, she is beginning the next chapter of her journey by attending Phillips Theological Seminary in Tulsa for a Master's in Divinity. Despite the bigotry and transphobia she has experienced at the hands of a UMC congregation, she believes that the Methodist Church will become open and affirming of everyone in the LGBTQ community.

An Inclusive Congratulations

by Leland G. Spencer IV

Annual Conference season has arrived, so I wanted to take a moment to express congratulations to everyone who is being/has been commissioned or ordained at annual conference this year. Especially to allies and LGBTQ people who have navigated the arduous process of candidacy, I say, congratulations. I'm glad you're working from the inside to make the whole church a place that shares God's inclusive heart.

I also want to congratulate Reconciling United Methodists with different relationships to the candidacy process, as I think these relationships are valid, valuable, and under-appreciated.

I say congratulations to LGBTQ people and allies who have been deferred or denied because of who you are. Perhaps you were honest about your identity or your supportive views, and such honesty led to your exclusion. I'm sorry this happened, and I'm sorry that Boards of Ordained Ministry sometimes function as gatekeepers rather than bodies that exist to recognize and celebrate God's gifts for ministry in the lives of the called. But I say congratulations for your exclusion. The voices of religious and political authority who have a vested stake in the status quo will often work hard to protect it, and that sometimes means keeping out those with other perspectives. In the fact of boards that are especially draconian, you could have chosen to equivocate or even transfer to a more open conference, but you made a difficult and courageous decision. Congratulations.

And I say congratulations to those who feel called, but have voluntarily withdrawn or extricated themselves from candidacy. That, too, is a difficult and courageous choice, and one I made four years ago. It is one that means understanding our call in new ways, like being present for people who have had bad religious experiences and need an affirming voice from an intelligent layperson who doesn't represent the institution as such.

Finally, I say congratulations to those who remain in candidacy or process for ordained ministry, but do so in different denominations. We'll miss you in the UMC, but I'm glad you've found a place your gifts will be recognized and celebrated. I'm sorry you had to leave this denomination to find a home, but that, too, is a difficult and courageous choice.

This season of the year is a difficult one for me, as it always means revisiting the painfulness and difficulty of whatever choices allies and LGBTQ people who are called to ordained ministry in the UMC make. Right now, none of these options are fully adequate (and none of them are all bad). All of them, I hope, offer us glimpses, albiet incomplete, of how to be about the reconciling work of loving God and loving our neighbor.

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Leland G. Spencer IV, a lifelong United Methodist, is a PhD student in the department of communication studies at the University of Georgia, where he researches religious rhetoric as it intersects with gender and sexuality. Leland holds an M.A. in Communication from the University of Cincinnati (2009). While in Cincinnati, Leland served as the worship intern at the Wesley Foundation. Leland served as a part-time local pastor at Mapleton United Methodist Church in the East Ohio Conference from 2005 until 2007 when Leland withdrew from the candidacy process because of the United Methodist Church's exclusive position about the ordination of LGBT persons.

Diligently Dealing with Difficult Discussions

I attend a Sunday School class that I really treasure, and one thing I appreciate about the class is that we always seem to welcome robust discussion where we can disagree, discuss, and debate about issues of faith and life. We come to the end of the hour, we still love each other, and we have all learned something from the conversation.

Today, our discussion turned to an unfortunate example in an otherwise all right book about the importance of prayer. The example was about an "ex-gay," and suggested that prayer and proper training in masculinity was enough to change someone's orientation. Although this example was not the main point of the chapter, I did think it was dangerous and problematic enough to address, so I did.

I've been praying for weeks about what to do in this case, and I decided I needed to address it. For me, the toxicity of that example was evident, and the falseness of its message didn't challenge me for even a moment. However, I have learned that I'm never the only person in a given room for whom a message of reconciliation is relevant. I had to speak up about this problematic illustration not for my own sake, but for the others in the circle, and for those who might some day sit in the circle.

The conversation was tense and difficult, but I'm glad I said what I did. I appreciate the times when this class challenges me, and I hope those who might have been challenged by what I said will come to appreciate that in time. My reason for telling that story in this context is to remind you, dear Reconciling Reader, just how important our message is.

The easier thing for me to do today would have been to stay silent, to leave the noxious illustration unaddressed and perhaps forgotten. After all, I've sorted through these questions over the last several years and feel pretty good about where I stand. However, as a Reconciling United Methodist, I must remember where I have been and recognize that others are in different places than I in thinking through questions about the relationship between queer sexualities and Christian faith. If I'm serious about helping the United Methodist Church be a place of welcome for all God's people, my conscience compels me to speaking up in cases like these.

In the moments that followed that class, and I suspect for some weeks to come, people shared a range of reactions and asked good, smart questions. Yes, my friends, this is difficult, but it's also important. The work we do changes lives, so let us be diligent in it!

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Leland G. Spencer IV, a lifelong United Methodist, is a PhD student in the department of speech communication at the University of Georgia, where he researches religious rhetoric as it intersects with gender and sexuality. Leland holds an M.A. in Communication from the University of Cincinnati (2009). While in Cincinnati, Leland served as the worship intern at the Wesley Foundation. Leland served as a part-time local pastor at Mapleton United Methodist Church in the East Ohio Conference from 2005 until 2007 when Leland withdrew from the candidacy process because of the United Methodist Church's exclusive position about the ordination of LGBT persons.

A Statement of Counsel to the Church - 2011

Out of concern for the welfare of all God’s people, and, out of special concern for the people of The United Methodist Church, we, United Methodist Bishops – retired, believe The United Methodist Church should remove the following statement from The Book of Discipline (2008):

“…The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.  Therefore self-avowed practicing homosexuals are not to be certified as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve in The United Methodist Church.”  ¶304.3

Our lives and ministries over the years have included prayerful, thoughtful consideration of our Holy Bible, our Wesleyan heritage, reflection on our experience of the church and world, and our conviction of God’s intention for a world transformed.

With this statement of conviction and counsel we seek:

• To affirm that the historic tests of “gifts and evidence of God’s grace” for ordained ministry override any past or present temporal restrictions such as race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.
• To urge the Church, ecumenical and denominational, to change the manner in which it relates to gay, lesbian and transgendered persons in official statements, judicial proceedings, and in congregational life.
• To declare our conviction that the current disciplinary position of The United Methodist Church, a part of our historical development, need not, and should not, be embraced as the faithful position for the future.
• To make known our names and shared personal conviction on this matter and to encourage other church and Episcopal leaders to do the same.

With increasing frequency we observe and experience the following disturbing realities and know them to be detrimental to the mission of a Church of Jesus Christ:

• Laity and clergy, gay and straight, withdrawing membership or absenting themselves from the support of congregational and denominational Church life in order to maintain personal integrity.
• Young adults, especially, embarrassed to invite friends and expressing dismay at the unwillingness of our United Methodist Church to alter its 39-year exclusionary stance.
• Closeted pastors, currently called and ordained in our church, living divided lives while offering effective appreciated ministry.
• Bishops being drained of energy by upholding Church Discipline while regarding it as contrary to their convictions.
• Bishops caught between care for the Church by reappointing an effective gay or lesbian pastor and care for the Discipline by charging them under current legislation.
• Seminary leaders desiring greater flexibility and openness from the church in order to advance their mission of identifying, recruiting, enrolling, educating and spiritually forming Christian leaders.
• Christian gay men and women understanding themselves called of God to seek ministry opportunities within their United Methodist family Church home, but having to decide between:
  • leaving to go to accepting denominations, or
  • staying and praying for change, or
  • challenging Church law and accepting punitive actions.

Our United Methodist Church, ashamed and repentant in the past, ended official and unofficial restrictions on candidacy, ordination and appointment for reason of race, gender and ethnicity. We believe the God we know in Jesus is leading us to issue this counsel and call – a call to transform our church life and our world.

United Methodist Episcopal Leaders-Retired

Sharon Z. Rader

Donald A. Ott

Beverly Shamana

C. Joseph Sprague

Melvin G. Talbert

S. Clifton Ives

Joe A. Wilson

William Lewis

Forrest Stith

Susan Morrison

Susan Hassinger

Judy Craig

Dale White

William Boyd Grove

C. P. Minnick

Kenneth L.  Carder

Roy I. Sano

Joe Yeakel

Kenneth Hicks

Joseph Humper

Monk Bryan

Jesse DeWitt

Jack Tuell

J. Lloyd Knox

Charles W. Jordan

J.  Lawrence McCleskey

Marshall L. Meadors, Jr.

Franz Schafer

Sheldon Duecker

Fritz Mutti

Cal McConnell

Leontine T. C. Kelly

Lay Folks Laying the Foundations for Marriage Equality

by Peter L. DeGroote

After the DC Council approved marriage equality as a civil right in Washington the members of Foundry UMC began discussions that culminated in what was called a Summer of Great Discernment to determine the congregation’s views. While clergy in the UM Church decide on religious services, this wasn’t about clergy decision-making. This was a lay process, what, in hindsight, might be called a lay movement.

A resolution was prepared and discussed over the summer. On September 26 the Congregational Council set the resolution before a Church Conference held under the rules of the Book of Discipline and chaired by our District Superintendent. 377 lay members attended. The vote was 367 yes, 8 no, with 2 invalid votes.

The resolution began with the proclamation that as a community of faith we recognize God’s profound blessing of committed life partnerships, including same-gender couples.  Further, that celebrating those relationships is not only an important part of our church’s ministry but is also a witness to the joy of God’s love.

The resolution also makes a claim on the Church Constitution (Disciplinary para 341.6). The Constitution prohibits the structuring of any organizational unit so as to exclude any member or constituent body because of race, color, national origin, status or economic condition. Noting the incorporation of anti-lgbt provisions into the discipline over the recent past, the resolution asserts that the Constitutional prohibitions against exclusion based on status have been violated.

The resolution closes with two commitments. First: to work within the denomination to change the Book of Discipline so that it “may be consistent with the teachings of Jesus.” This commitment includes working for the respect and honor of same-gender marriages in the same way that all marriages are respected and honored.

The second commitment is to equally support and honor marriages licensed in the District of Columbia without regard to the couple’s gender. Accordingly, it offers and approves use of the church sanctuary for all marriages. Finally, while acknowledging clergy discretion over the conduct of services, the congregation pledged to support those clergy who conduct same gender services.

Word travels, of course. We've heard that some conference leaders were "blown away" by the numbers. How many DSs have ever conducted a church business meeting with 377 people voting and even more people in attendance? We've heard that some conference leaders are wondering how to stop or control a lay movement.

The Bishop did send a letter to all Pastors and lay members of the Annual Conference. On one hand he described the underlying conflict in the church; on the other he urged holy conversation.

What will this lay movement do next? My guess is that they will take the Bishop up on holy conversation—in a big way.

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To read the Marriage Equality Proposal, click here

To read the Special Edition of the Foundry Forge regarding the Vote and the Summer of Great Discernment, click here

To read the Congregational Council's response to Bishop John Schol's letter to the Conference, click here

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Peter is a second career pastor who has served in several churches in the Baltimore-Washington Conference. Prior to his ordination, he was a secondary-school teacher, a university lecturer in Government, an Associate in a government related professional association, CEO of a national financial institution. Peter was involved in Mid-Atlantic Affirmation, served on the National Council of Affirmation, and sat on the Board of the Reconciling Congregations Program, the predecessor name for RMN and has worked with BWARM (Baltimore-Washington Reconciling United Methodists).

Wholeness and Brokenness: Why I'm a Reconciling United Methodist

by David Hosey

I became a Reconciling United Methodist (RUM) a few months ago, following a pretty simple conversation with a friend that went something like this:

"Are you a Reconciling United Methodist?"
"Well, I go to a reconciling church."
"Have you filled out a RUM card?"
"Nope."
"Here's one."
"Ok."

Of course, there was a longer process before that of developing beliefs that led me to acquiesce to the idea so easily. Conversations, readings, contemplation, and most importantly relationships, formed over time, all played a part in bring me to a place in life where I can proudly say, "I'm a straight ally, and I'm a Reconciling United Methodist."

At root, though, the reason I'm a RUM is that the church in which I grew up stuck with me, even at my lowest, angriest, and most bitter times growing up. From this congregation I learned that the church at its best is a church that can accept and love me, no matter how broken I am.

When I went away to college, though, I realized that many of my new friends wouldn't be welcome in many United Methodist churches--not their whole selves, at least, not if they told people the truth about themselves and about their God-given identity.

It struck me that the United Methodist Church that I love, the church that loves me and supports me even in my brokenness wouldn't love and accept my LGBT-Q friends in their wholeness.

I'm incredibly grateful for the love and acceptance that I felt growing up in the church. And it is the quest for a church that embodies that full love, in all of its wholeness, for all of God's people, that makes me want to be a Reconciling United Methodist.

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David Hosey is a life-long United Methodist and will be entering Wesley Theological Seminary in the Fall of 2010. From July 2007-July 2010, he worked as a Mission Intern with Global Ministries of the United Methodist Church, serving with the Sabeel Center in Jerusalem, Israel/Palestine and the US Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation in Washington, DC, U.S.A. He is an inquiring candidate for ordained ministry in the United Methodist Church and also blogs at http://hoseyblog.blog.com. He attends Dumbarton UMC in Washington, DC, which is where a friend first asked him whether he would become a Reconciling United Methodist. He said yes. Now you're stuck with him.

Reconciling Voices

For those of you who might not have seen this video take a second to watch it. It is a very powerful testimony for why we are committed to the cause of inclusion