Reconciling Ministries Network

Book review: Bulletproof Faith

By Heather Murphy

When Candace Chellew-Hodge stopped by in October to announce the publication of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians, she opened her announcement with an apology.  And well might she apologize, because I'm quite irritated with her.  Where was this book when I was coming out?  Chellew-Hodge could have saved me a lot of anxiety and spiritual crisis if she'd published this book five years ago. 

Well, I forgive her, because this book is simply invaluable.  It is not an explication of the Biblical and social arguments in favor of the full inclusion of GLBT people in the church- good books have already been written on this subject.  Instead, it's something we needed badly- a spiritual self-defense course for GLBT Christians.  The barrage of anti-gay rhetoric that we hear within the church can be devastatingly hard on a gay Christian's faith, and we all know how many people have given up on Christianity because it seems impossible to continue in the church without sustaining mortal damage to the soul.

Chellew-Hodge's book is simple, clear, and calming, and I found sentences on every page that I wanted to quote, to share with friends, and, in a few cases, to have tattooed on myself.  She includes advice and exercises to help her readers empathize with our opponents, to discern when to involve ourselves in arguments and when to simply decline to engage in them, and to keep our faith intact when it seems under attack from all sides. 

Although the book is specifically written for gay and lesbian Christians, I think that it would be very helpful reading for any progressive Christian who feels the anger and frustration of being accused of false prophecy and fake Christianity.  

I can't help thinking of two books, Three Simple Rules and Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations, that it seems that the whole United Methodist Church is reading, talking about, and using in their Christian practice in a variety of ways.  This is that kind of book; it would be useful required reading for every GLBT person of faith.  

The gay lifestyle

By Heather Murphy

I keep hearing about the gay lifestyle.  Apparently, I'm supposed to be having lots of promiscuous sex, cheating on my many sex partners, and going to bathhouses regularly for orgies.  Oh, and dying of AIDS before I'm 40. 

Are there even still bathhouses out there?  I thought they all closed in the eighties.  As for lots of promiscuous sex, I wouldn't even know where to look for it.  I'm 100% sure that James Dobson spends way more time thinking about gay sex than I do.  I'm just trying to remember whether I put out the chicken to defrost before I left for work, and where the heck the mates to all my socks go.  (Evidence suggests that my socks are definitely not faithful to their mates.  Maybe I should create www.godhatessocks.com.)

I have this fantasy of creating my gay lifestyle blog, an accurate depiction of the gay lifestyle.  And then basking in the spectacular dullness of it.  I suspect that my faux blog is a lot more typical of the licentious homosexual lifestyle than some conservatives would like to imagine.  Sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Dobson.

My Gay Lifestyle

Tuesday 

Gym.  Work.  Class at church.  Yay!  Marcus Borg!

Wednesday

Gym.  Work.  Spend entire evening on Facebook, trying to win a game of Algerian Solitaire

Thursday

Gym.  Work.  Watch a Marx Brothers movie.  Yay!  Spaghetti for supper!

Friday

Gym.  Work.  Get together with friends to watch the musical commentary on Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog.  Follow up with hysterically awful old movie.

Saturday

Five-hour church council meeting.  Tacos.  Yay, tacos!  Twelfth Night feast, in medieval costume, with historical recreationists.  I'm such a nerd.

Sunday

Church.  Nap.  Roll over.  Second nap.  Phone call with girl I'd like to go out with (Note: this is the gayest thing I do all week.  No bathhouses are involved.  Though I did take a bath.)

Monday

Gym.  Work.  Yay!  Pork chops for supper!  

Tuesday

Gym.  Work. Attempt to read  The Theology of John Wesley.  Sentences like "It has often been claimed that Wesley's practical theology, as a species of a broader Arminianism, underscores the importance of co-operant grace" make me think I'm not as smart as I thought I was.  

Eat your heart out, Fred Phelps.

Lesbians vs Methodists

By Heather Murphy

No, it wasn't a cage match.  Although that would be fun to watch.  Especially if the Methodists were also lesbians.

The long-reported court case in which a lesbian couple sued the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association for violating New Jersey's non-discrimination laws by refusing to rent their beachfront pavilion for their wedding because of their sexual orientation... has concluded.  The court has ruled on behalf of the Harriet Bernstein and Luisa Paster.

My opinions are still forming.  I do think that churches should be able to refuse to marry people if they believe that same-sex marriages are wrong.  I'm advocating for full legal equality in civil marriage, not for laws that infringe on people's right to practice their religion freely.

But the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association isn't a church.  It isn't a small organization that simply manages a charming wedding pavilion, either.  It is one kilometer of land, with a population of 4,256 people.  Its spaces are open to the public, and the organization accepts public funds.  This organization has more in common with a small town than with a church.

Then again, there are many entities that aren't churches, but still are affiliated with and run by church organizations.  Children's homes, medical clinics, homeless shelters... all of them, like the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association, exist in this gray area between church and not-a-church.  I strongly want them to provide their services equally.  I'm prepared to lobby them, write letters, even picket.  But I feel for organizations like Catholic Charities of Boston, which closed its adoption agency after 100 years rather than obey laws that would require them to stop discriminating against gay couples in placing children with families.

As an activist, I'm torn.  In the political arena, I want to change laws to provide equality, even when employers, renters, and courts don't want to give it.  But within the church... I'd rather work to change people's minds than place them in a position where they have to decide between obeying the law and following God's will as they understand it.  That'll take longer.  

Sigh.  God's people should be at the forefront of change for social justice.  Why are we so often behind?  Why must the church be dragged kicking and fighting into what's right, when we should be leading the way?

Book Review: Waiting for the Call

By Heather Murphy

Waiting for the Call: From Preacher's Daughter to Lesbian Mom

Jacqueline Taylor

University of Michigan Press

I was browsing through the nominees for the Lambda Literary Prize, as is my annual habit, and came upon this simple, sincere memoir.

The story will be familiar territory to many RMNBlog readers- Jackie, Godloving daughter of a Baptist preacher, has to find a way to reconcile her faith with her questions, a process that becomes critical when she falls in love with a woman.  She has to navigate the difficult waters of finding a way to keep her faith, stay connected with her parents, and help her daughters (adopted from Peru) understand their family and their place in the world.

I found a lot of ways to connect with this story; there was more than one passage in which I felt like I was reading my own life story.  But I found that my favorite sections were the stories about Jackie and her daughters, and the ways they used their family stories to make the very young girls feel safe, love, and connected within their family.  

Taylor's writing was simple, clear, and honest, and I think her book is well worth reading.

Did the Mormon Church break the law in promoting Prop 8 in California?

By Heather Murphy

My joy regarding the election of President Obama...

wait a minute.  I have to say that a few more times.  It's still sinking in.

President Obama
President Obama
President Obama

Okay, I'm back.  It's wonderful news for me.  But my joy regarding the election of President Obama is seriously clouded by the passing of Prop 8 in California, which takes away the right of same-sex couples to marry in that state. 

And I'm not alone. 

At the Mormon Temple, protestors are still marching.  Why the Mormon Temple, you ask?  I'm glad you asked.  It seems that the Church of Latter-Day Saints financed the campaign for Prop 8.  They paid for at least half the costs of the campaign, and, by some estimates, up to 75% of the campaign costs.  

Problem is, the laws governing tax-exempt organizations like churches don't permit a church to finance a political campaign.  From Section 501(c)(3) of US Code Title 26, the definition of a tax-exempt organization includes the phrase, "no substantial part of the activities of which is carrying on propaganda, or otherwise attempting, to influence legislation."  

Now, doesn't it sort of sound like the Mormons have violated the law in the process of robbing GLBT people of their constitutional right to legal equality?  Because it sounds that way to me.  

And I think it's important that the IRS imposes an appropriate penalty.  Like, say, financial remuneration to every gay person in California equal to the financial benefits that come from marriage, plus an appropriate amount for pain and suffering.  Or the revocation of their tax-exempt status.  

If you agree, why not send a message to the IRS letting them know about this violation of the law? This blog has some instructions on exactly how you could do that.

Equality Riders arrested at Heritage Christian University

By Heather Murphy

More arrests today from the Equality Riders.  This time, it was the administration of Heritage Christian University that prosecuted young GLBT people for trespassing when three of them arrived at the Alabama school to deliver letters that described their experience and advocated for acceptance of GLBT students.

You know, I may be crazy, but I was under the impression that college was a place to, you know, learn stuff.  Maybe even stuff you don't already know.  Arresting people who want to peacefully share a different point of view doesn't seem very pro-learning to me.  According to 365gay's article about it, the mood at Heritage regarding the arrival of the Equality Riders was one of 'homophobic panic.'  Don't be scared, President Dennis Jones.  We gay Christians won't hurt you, we promise.  We won't make you marry a man.  We won't destroy your marriage.  We won't even ask you to wear sparkly gold go-go boots.  Although you would look fabulous in them.  We were just wondering if when Jesus invited 'whosoever believes in' him, that invitation could possibly be stretched to even include us.  Or if, at least, you'd be willing to discuss the question without, you know, having utterly nonthreatening young people arrested for coming to ask the question.

Once again, big props to the three Riders who were arrested:
*Caitlin MacIntyre, 19, of Houston, Tex.,
*Katie Higgins, 26, of Charleston, S.C.
*Taueret Manu, 21, of the Bronx, NY.

Equality riders arrested, bus vandalized

By Heather Murphey

The latest news from the Soulforce Equality Ride, in which a busful of young glbt people and young allies travel to colleges with anti-gay policies, inviting students to engage in dialogue, is in, and the Equality Riders had a pretty rough weekend.

At Palm Beach Atlantic University, officials initially declined the Equality Riders permission to enter the campus.  Then they offered them a private meeting with a small group.

Sunday night, the Equality Riders' bus was vandalized.  Windows were broken.  This Christian news site wrote a negative story about the visit, but doesn't seem to have updated it with any opinion about the vandalism.

Monday, in an act of civil disobedience, six of the Riders were arrested when they came to the chapel service they'd been refused permission to attend.  This humble blogger wants to give a big gay shout-out to six brave fighters for equal rights:
*Jarrett Lucas, 22, from Philadelphia
*Danielle Cooper, 19, from Maplewood, NJ
*Lauren Parke, 25, from Seattle
*Enzi Tanner, 24, from Minneapolis
*Nicholas Rocco DeFinis, 22, from Lansdale, PA
*Zak Rittenhouse, 21, from Frankfort, OH.

Congratulations on acquiring a great story to tell your grandchildren, who, because of your work, won't ever quite believe that there was a time when grandpa and grandma could get arrested just for wanting to talk about gay people's equal rights.

Equality Riders are on the road

By Heather Murphy

This year's Equality Ride has begun with a stop at Liberty University!  Huzzah!

A few years ago, Equality Riders were arrested when they came to Liberty University to donate GLBT-affirming books to the university library.  This week, Liberty allowed five of the riders to come onto the campus and donate books, although they haven't yet said whether those books will ever be allowed on the library shelves. 

The rest of the busful of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and straight young people set themselves up just outside campus and invited the students of Liberty to come to them to engage in dialogue about their school's discriminatory policies. 

Just meeting real GLBT people, and hearing their stories about how they're affected by the anti-gay policies of some churches and schools, could make a huge difference in the attitudes of students in the schools on the Equality Ride route. 

Incidentally, Soulforce is still accepting donations  to support the Equality Ride.

Ray Boltz comes out

By Heather Murphy

I listened to a lot of Contemporary Christian Music when I was a teenager.  Amy Grant, Sandi Patti, DC Talk, Petra, Whiteheart, I had all of their cassettes.  I even had One Bad Pig; beat that, readers.   My very first mix-tape, given to me by a friend of the family, included Ray Boltz's "Thank You," which I have stuck in my head right this very moment even though I haven't heard it in years.  His "Watch the Lamb" was the focal point of my first Easter cantata.

CCM isn't a field that's forgiving of what it considers to be moral failings- at least it wasn't when I last checked in on it.  So the coming-out of Ray Boltz is a big deal.  I can relate to the path he discusses, first fighting against what he was, then trying to fix it, and ultimately accepting it. 

So congratulations, Ray, on your coming out.  Feels good, doesn't it?  I'm looking forward to hearing from some of the other closeted voices in CCM, too.  You know who you are.  Come out, come out, whoever you are...

Exciting, lucrative jobs in the anti-equality industry! Apply now!

By Heather Murphy

Would you be shocked to learn that the forces allied against full equality for gay people are sometimes less than fully ethical in their methods?

You would?

Then you'll probably be shocked to learn that more than half of the money raised in the fight against gay marriage isn't actually going to that fight, but to the fundraisers.  Of the $3 million donated to preventing all those oh-so-stylish gay California weddings, only about $500,000 is going directly to the cause. 

Here's my favorite part- of the money the California Family Council received in its first two years of operation, none of it went to "program services."  Can you imagine?  None of it.  But the heads of the organization are making six-figure salaries.

I think I'm in the wrong line of work.  Maybe I should quit teaching public school and go into preying on people's prejudices while the money's still good.  Ten years from now, I have a feeling that this particular well is going to go a bit dryer, and some of these anti-gay fundraisers might just have to get real jobs.