RMNBlog

Book review: Bulletproof Faith

By Heather Murphy

When Candace Chellew-Hodge stopped by in October to announce the publication of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians, she opened her announcement with an apology.  And well might she apologize, because I'm quite irritated with her.  Where was this book when I was coming out?  Chellew-Hodge could have saved me a lot of anxiety and spiritual crisis if she'd published this book five years ago. 

Well, I forgive her, because this book is simply invaluable.  It is not an explication of the Biblical and social arguments in favor of the full inclusion of GLBT people in the church- good books have already been written on this subject.  Instead, it's something we needed badly- a spiritual self-defense course for GLBT Christians.  The barrage of anti-gay rhetoric that we hear within the church can be devastatingly hard on a gay Christian's faith, and we all know how many people have given up on Christianity because it seems impossible to continue in the church without sustaining mortal damage to the soul.

Chellew-Hodge's book is simple, clear, and calming, and I found sentences on every page that I wanted to quote, to share with friends, and, in a few cases, to have tattooed on myself.  She includes advice and exercises to help her readers empathize with our opponents, to discern when to involve ourselves in arguments and when to simply decline to engage in them, and to keep our faith intact when it seems under attack from all sides. 

Although the book is specifically written for gay and lesbian Christians, I think that it would be very helpful reading for any progressive Christian who feels the anger and frustration of being accused of false prophecy and fake Christianity.  

I can't help thinking of two books, Three Simple Rules and Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations, that it seems that the whole United Methodist Church is reading, talking about, and using in their Christian practice in a variety of ways.  This is that kind of book; it would be useful required reading for every GLBT person of faith.  

The gay lifestyle

By Heather Murphy

I keep hearing about the gay lifestyle.  Apparently, I'm supposed to be having lots of promiscuous sex, cheating on my many sex partners, and going to bathhouses regularly for orgies.  Oh, and dying of AIDS before I'm 40. 

Are there even still bathhouses out there?  I thought they all closed in the eighties.  As for lots of promiscuous sex, I wouldn't even know where to look for it.  I'm 100% sure that James Dobson spends way more time thinking about gay sex than I do.  I'm just trying to remember whether I put out the chicken to defrost before I left for work, and where the heck the mates to all my socks go.  (Evidence suggests that my socks are definitely not faithful to their mates.  Maybe I should create www.godhatessocks.com.)

I have this fantasy of creating my gay lifestyle blog, an accurate depiction of the gay lifestyle.  And then basking in the spectacular dullness of it.  I suspect that my faux blog is a lot more typical of the licentious homosexual lifestyle than some conservatives would like to imagine.  Sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Dobson.

My Gay Lifestyle

Tuesday 

Gym.  Work.  Class at church.  Yay!  Marcus Borg!

Wednesday

Gym.  Work.  Spend entire evening on Facebook, trying to win a game of Algerian Solitaire

Thursday

Gym.  Work.  Watch a Marx Brothers movie.  Yay!  Spaghetti for supper!

Friday

Gym.  Work.  Get together with friends to watch the musical commentary on Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog.  Follow up with hysterically awful old movie.

Saturday

Five-hour church council meeting.  Tacos.  Yay, tacos!  Twelfth Night feast, in medieval costume, with historical recreationists.  I'm such a nerd.

Sunday

Church.  Nap.  Roll over.  Second nap.  Phone call with girl I'd like to go out with (Note: this is the gayest thing I do all week.  No bathhouses are involved.  Though I did take a bath.)

Monday

Gym.  Work.  Yay!  Pork chops for supper!  

Tuesday

Gym.  Work. Attempt to read  The Theology of John Wesley.  Sentences like "It has often been claimed that Wesley's practical theology, as a species of a broader Arminianism, underscores the importance of co-operant grace" make me think I'm not as smart as I thought I was.  

Eat your heart out, Fred Phelps.

Lesbians vs Methodists

By Heather Murphy

No, it wasn't a cage match.  Although that would be fun to watch.  Especially if the Methodists were also lesbians.

The long-reported court case in which a lesbian couple sued the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association for violating New Jersey's non-discrimination laws by refusing to rent their beachfront pavilion for their wedding because of their sexual orientation... has concluded.  The court has ruled on behalf of the Harriet Bernstein and Luisa Paster.

My opinions are still forming.  I do think that churches should be able to refuse to marry people if they believe that same-sex marriages are wrong.  I'm advocating for full legal equality in civil marriage, not for laws that infringe on people's right to practice their religion freely.

But the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association isn't a church.  It isn't a small organization that simply manages a charming wedding pavilion, either.  It is one kilometer of land, with a population of 4,256 people.  Its spaces are open to the public, and the organization accepts public funds.  This organization has more in common with a small town than with a church.

Then again, there are many entities that aren't churches, but still are affiliated with and run by church organizations.  Children's homes, medical clinics, homeless shelters... all of them, like the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association, exist in this gray area between church and not-a-church.  I strongly want them to provide their services equally.  I'm prepared to lobby them, write letters, even picket.  But I feel for organizations like Catholic Charities of Boston, which closed its adoption agency after 100 years rather than obey laws that would require them to stop discriminating against gay couples in placing children with families.

As an activist, I'm torn.  In the political arena, I want to change laws to provide equality, even when employers, renters, and courts don't want to give it.  But within the church... I'd rather work to change people's minds than place them in a position where they have to decide between obeying the law and following God's will as they understand it.  That'll take longer.  

Sigh.  God's people should be at the forefront of change for social justice.  Why are we so often behind?  Why must the church be dragged kicking and fighting into what's right, when we should be leading the way?

Book Review: Waiting for the Call

By Heather Murphy

Waiting for the Call: From Preacher's Daughter to Lesbian Mom

Jacqueline Taylor

University of Michigan Press

I was browsing through the nominees for the Lambda Literary Prize, as is my annual habit, and came upon this simple, sincere memoir.

The story will be familiar territory to many RMNBlog readers- Jackie, Godloving daughter of a Baptist preacher, has to find a way to reconcile her faith with her questions, a process that becomes critical when she falls in love with a woman.  She has to navigate the difficult waters of finding a way to keep her faith, stay connected with her parents, and help her daughters (adopted from Peru) understand their family and their place in the world.

I found a lot of ways to connect with this story; there was more than one passage in which I felt like I was reading my own life story.  But I found that my favorite sections were the stories about Jackie and her daughters, and the ways they used their family stories to make the very young girls feel safe, love, and connected within their family.  

Taylor's writing was simple, clear, and honest, and I think her book is well worth reading.

Did the Mormon Church break the law in promoting Prop 8 in California?

By Heather Murphy

My joy regarding the election of President Obama...

wait a minute.  I have to say that a few more times.  It's still sinking in.

President Obama
President Obama
President Obama

Okay, I'm back.  It's wonderful news for me.  But my joy regarding the election of President Obama is seriously clouded by the passing of Prop 8 in California, which takes away the right of same-sex couples to marry in that state. 

And I'm not alone. 

At the Mormon Temple, protestors are still marching.  Why the Mormon Temple, you ask?  I'm glad you asked.  It seems that the Church of Latter-Day Saints financed the campaign for Prop 8.  They paid for at least half the costs of the campaign, and, by some estimates, up to 75% of the campaign costs.  

Problem is, the laws governing tax-exempt organizations like churches don't permit a church to finance a political campaign.  From Section 501(c)(3) of US Code Title 26, the definition of a tax-exempt organization includes the phrase, "no substantial part of the activities of which is carrying on propaganda, or otherwise attempting, to influence legislation."  

Now, doesn't it sort of sound like the Mormons have violated the law in the process of robbing GLBT people of their constitutional right to legal equality?  Because it sounds that way to me.  

And I think it's important that the IRS imposes an appropriate penalty.  Like, say, financial remuneration to every gay person in California equal to the financial benefits that come from marriage, plus an appropriate amount for pain and suffering.  Or the revocation of their tax-exempt status.  

If you agree, why not send a message to the IRS letting them know about this violation of the law? This blog has some instructions on exactly how you could do that.

Equality Riders arrested at Heritage Christian University

By Heather Murphy

More arrests today from the Equality Riders.  This time, it was the administration of Heritage Christian University that prosecuted young GLBT people for trespassing when three of them arrived at the Alabama school to deliver letters that described their experience and advocated for acceptance of GLBT students.

You know, I may be crazy, but I was under the impression that college was a place to, you know, learn stuff.  Maybe even stuff you don't already know.  Arresting people who want to peacefully share a different point of view doesn't seem very pro-learning to me.  According to 365gay's article about it, the mood at Heritage regarding the arrival of the Equality Riders was one of 'homophobic panic.'  Don't be scared, President Dennis Jones.  We gay Christians won't hurt you, we promise.  We won't make you marry a man.  We won't destroy your marriage.  We won't even ask you to wear sparkly gold go-go boots.  Although you would look fabulous in them.  We were just wondering if when Jesus invited 'whosoever believes in' him, that invitation could possibly be stretched to even include us.  Or if, at least, you'd be willing to discuss the question without, you know, having utterly nonthreatening young people arrested for coming to ask the question.

Once again, big props to the three Riders who were arrested:
*Caitlin MacIntyre, 19, of Houston, Tex.,
*Katie Higgins, 26, of Charleston, S.C.
*Taueret Manu, 21, of the Bronx, NY.

Equality riders arrested, bus vandalized

By Heather Murphey

The latest news from the Soulforce Equality Ride, in which a busful of young glbt people and young allies travel to colleges with anti-gay policies, inviting students to engage in dialogue, is in, and the Equality Riders had a pretty rough weekend.

At Palm Beach Atlantic University, officials initially declined the Equality Riders permission to enter the campus.  Then they offered them a private meeting with a small group.

Sunday night, the Equality Riders' bus was vandalized.  Windows were broken.  This Christian news site wrote a negative story about the visit, but doesn't seem to have updated it with any opinion about the vandalism.

Monday, in an act of civil disobedience, six of the Riders were arrested when they came to the chapel service they'd been refused permission to attend.  This humble blogger wants to give a big gay shout-out to six brave fighters for equal rights:
*Jarrett Lucas, 22, from Philadelphia
*Danielle Cooper, 19, from Maplewood, NJ
*Lauren Parke, 25, from Seattle
*Enzi Tanner, 24, from Minneapolis
*Nicholas Rocco DeFinis, 22, from Lansdale, PA
*Zak Rittenhouse, 21, from Frankfort, OH.

Congratulations on acquiring a great story to tell your grandchildren, who, because of your work, won't ever quite believe that there was a time when grandpa and grandma could get arrested just for wanting to talk about gay people's equal rights.

Equality Riders are on the road

By Heather Murphy

This year's Equality Ride has begun with a stop at Liberty University!  Huzzah!

A few years ago, Equality Riders were arrested when they came to Liberty University to donate GLBT-affirming books to the university library.  This week, Liberty allowed five of the riders to come onto the campus and donate books, although they haven't yet said whether those books will ever be allowed on the library shelves. 

The rest of the busful of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and straight young people set themselves up just outside campus and invited the students of Liberty to come to them to engage in dialogue about their school's discriminatory policies. 

Just meeting real GLBT people, and hearing their stories about how they're affected by the anti-gay policies of some churches and schools, could make a huge difference in the attitudes of students in the schools on the Equality Ride route. 

Incidentally, Soulforce is still accepting donations  to support the Equality Ride.

Ray Boltz comes out

By Heather Murphy

I listened to a lot of Contemporary Christian Music when I was a teenager.  Amy Grant, Sandi Patti, DC Talk, Petra, Whiteheart, I had all of their cassettes.  I even had One Bad Pig; beat that, readers.   My very first mix-tape, given to me by a friend of the family, included Ray Boltz's "Thank You," which I have stuck in my head right this very moment even though I haven't heard it in years.  His "Watch the Lamb" was the focal point of my first Easter cantata.

CCM isn't a field that's forgiving of what it considers to be moral failings- at least it wasn't when I last checked in on it.  So the coming-out of Ray Boltz is a big deal.  I can relate to the path he discusses, first fighting against what he was, then trying to fix it, and ultimately accepting it. 

So congratulations, Ray, on your coming out.  Feels good, doesn't it?  I'm looking forward to hearing from some of the other closeted voices in CCM, too.  You know who you are.  Come out, come out, whoever you are...

Exciting, lucrative jobs in the anti-equality industry! Apply now!

By Heather Murphy

Would you be shocked to learn that the forces allied against full equality for gay people are sometimes less than fully ethical in their methods?

You would?

Then you'll probably be shocked to learn that more than half of the money raised in the fight against gay marriage isn't actually going to that fight, but to the fundraisers.  Of the $3 million donated to preventing all those oh-so-stylish gay California weddings, only about $500,000 is going directly to the cause. 

Here's my favorite part- of the money the California Family Council received in its first two years of operation, none of it went to "program services."  Can you imagine?  None of it.  But the heads of the organization are making six-figure salaries.

I think I'm in the wrong line of work.  Maybe I should quit teaching public school and go into preying on people's prejudices while the money's still good.  Ten years from now, I have a feeling that this particular well is going to go a bit dryer, and some of these anti-gay fundraisers might just have to get real jobs.

Equality Ride route announced

By Heather Murphy

Soulforce has announced the route for the next Equality Ride.  A busful of GLBTS college students will visit a string of Christian colleges, mostly in the south, to open dialogue regarding the treatment of GLBT students at those colleges.  In past years, the Equality Riders have met with-- shall we say-- less than a wholehearted welcome at some of the colleges they visit, while other schools have invited them to carry out their visit more or less unimpeded.  This is a great mission to support.

Openly gay candidate for bishop

by Heather Murphy

This story slipped past me while I was traveling in July, but I wanted to note it.  Reverend Frank Wulf became the first openly gay candidate for bishop in the Western Jurisdictional Conference this summer.  After two days, he withdrew his name after it became clear that he would not be elected. 

"To change our official stance and even advocate for that change is both harmful and subversive, not only to The United Methodist Church but to the larger global Christian church and our commitment to understanding holiness in every dimension of life," said David Parker, of the Central United Protestant Church, who I assume will never have to watch the news and wonder if the people of his state will vote to annul his marriage.

Hearty congratulations to SMU

By Heather Murphy

The Princeton Review has listed its annual college rankings, and Southern Methodist University has made the list- #14 of the 20 most homophobic schools in the country.  Congratulations, SMU!  The George W Bush Presidential Library should be right at home on your campus.  Keep up the good work!

A search of Facebook reveals that, of more than 10,000 students, exactly 30 have indicated on their profiles that they are gay or lesbian.  That's a mighty crowded closet they have down at SMU.

Now, my alma mater would have been proud to be on that list.  In fact, I'm a little disappointed that they aren't; according to the Dallas Voice article, SMU has both domestic partner benefits for employees and a GLBT support organization for students, neither of which I think exist back at good ol' Milligan College. 

School is starting again, and a lot of closeted GLBT people are heading back to Southern Methodist University.  Some of them might well be reading this very blog, and I'll bet they've heard the news of their university's achievement, too.  Hello, brothers-an'-sisters!  Have you considered what would happen if a significant number of you came out as you start school this year?  You're not wrong to be scared about it.  You're right that you'll meet hostility, and probably lose some friends.  Of course, you will also probably make some friends, and you won't have to worry about people discovering your shameful secret anymore.  And you might be able to help change the feelings of your fellow students- and that, brothers and sisters, might just help to change the future of the Methodist Church.  You might even help make it a little less scary for next year's class of freshmen to decide whether to come out or live in the closet.  But it isn't my place to tell you to do it- that's your decision, and you're the one who has the power to decide how, and when, you come out. 

If you are thinking about making this school year your coming-out year, Southern Methodist University's GLBT support group is called Spectrum.  Looks like a fun bunch of people.  There's also a group called Allies looking out for your interests.  The faculty advisor is Karen Click. 

The Human Rights Campaign has some excellent advice for people who are considering coming out.  I made use of their web site when I was coming out and found it really helpful.

May God go with you, whatever choice you make.  I'll be praying for you.

I've got a good idea. Let's sue the Bible.

By Heather Murphy

Every word of the Bible is literally true, the word of God directly from the mind of God.  Their meanings do not change over time, they are not affected by cultural mores or interpretation or the march of history.  If different parts of the body appear to contradict each other, the flaw is not in the Bible, but in the reader who has failed to understand it fully.

Well, that's what they told me in Sunday School.  What, you didn't go to that class?

Which brings us to this guy.  Bradley Fowler.  Fowler is suing Zondervan and Nelson, the foremost Bible translators, over their use of the word 'homosexual' in 1 Corinthians 6:9.  Fowler noticed that the word 'homosexuals' was added to the list of condemned groups in the mid-seventies, then quietly changed to a more accurate translation in the early nineties. He's holding the publishers responsible for discrimination and homophobia throughout the English-speaking world, which, by his reckoning, is worth $80 million.  Fowler is representing himself.

My first thought on reading the headline was that he was a nut, and his suit was entirely frivolous.  After reading a few articles, I have to admit that Fowler sort of has a point.  Since the English word 'homosexual' doesn't translate any word or concept that existed in the world of the Bible, it probably was added- and removed- for reasons that have more to do with current events and private opinions than solid scholarship and best translation.  But is it really accurate to say that without that translation, there would be no homophobia, and gay and straight would all be happily coexisting today?  I'm feeling dubious.

I've seen some pretty lively debates over the Bible, but I've never seen one happen in a court of law before.  It might be interesting, the nuances of Bible translation being aired for the general public, John Stewart and Bill O'Reilly boning up on their Koine Greek, long interviews on NPR with bemused scholars whose opinions have never been of national interest before... but I'm thinking that's not how it's going to play out.  I'm thinking instead that this is not going to make it to trial, that it's going to be dismissed long before that.  I'm also thinking that, when I am old and grey, we'll still see this being used by the right as an example of how those naughty gay people want to abolish the Bible.

Fowler has several self-published books available for sale.  May I offer you a word of advice, Mr. Fowler?  The process of finding a publisher- or finding a lawyer- is a way of helping you decide if your book- or your lawsuit- has enough merit to make success probable.  That's why it's a good idea, if no publisher will buy your book or no lawyer will take your case, to sit down and have a long, hard think about whether you really want to go through with this.

from the Presbyterians

By Heather Murphy

The Presbyterian Church (USA)'s General Assembly has, not surprisingly, been as hotly discussing the question of GLBT inclusion as we have in our happy little Methodist corner of Christendom.  Where our issues of the year were church membership and "compatibility with Christian teaching" (will any of us ever be able to hear that phrase without flinching again?), the Presbyterians were talking about marriage and ordination.  On marriage, the church voted to keep language that defines a marriage as existing between a man and a woman, by a thundering 77-33 percent majority.  Thanks a lot, Presbyterian Church.  I'm sure all the married Presbyterians who happen to be gay are drinking a toast to you as they flip through their phone books for nearby UCC congregations. 

On ordination, they did a little better; they sent a recommendation to the regional presbyteries that would lift the requirement that ministers, elders, and deacons must either be celibate or married to someone of the opposite sex.  Even my eternal starry-eyed optimism doesn't stretch far enough to allow me to believe that one will pass, but I'm always happy to be wrong in situations like this.  Besides, that opens the door not only to married gay pastors but also to pastors who host wild orgies in the parsonage, doesn't it?  I think I'm against that.

They also passed an interesting resolution which allows individual candidates to object to the requirement, which would, if I'm understanding my source correctly, open the door for local presbyteries and church councils to go ahead and ordain a gay or lesbian candidate anyway?  Or maybe not?  Or maybe ordain them, after which their ordination gets challenged and they get to spend the next few years debating the question in church court?  Lucky them; is there any nicer way to start a career in ministry than with an ordination that comes with a built-in guarantee of public airing of your private life and a fun-filled potential defrocking in the indefinite future? 

Here's a longer story at 365Gay about the Presbyterian assembly.

What about Africa?

By Heather Murphy

Sometimes, my timing is impeccable.  I loaded the internet stream from General Conference just in time to watch African delegates responding to the question of GLBT inclusion.  The things they said were so awful, so painful, that I shut the stream off.  How could I persuade people like that to vote to include me in the church?  And how could I respond with cheerful, willing generosity to requests for help from the people who looked me in the eye (well, looked a camera in the eye, anyway) and said that I was evil, demonic, disordered, outside of the church?

I took some time this week to try to learn more about my brothers and sisters in Africa, and here's what I learned.

The UMC has a significant school in Africa, Africa University.  It's in Mutare, Zimbabwe. 

Zimbabwe's in pretty big trouble.  Their economy is in a meltdown, with inflation now over one million percent.  One million percent.  Hunger is widespread in the face of the economic disaster, and millions of Zimbabweans have fled the country, while millions more live displaced from their homes.  The president, Robert Mugabe, has been accused of just about every civil right violation I've ever heard of, including violent attacks against his opposition.

Once, Zimbabwe had one of the highest literacy rates in Africa, but hunger, teachers' strikes, disease, and unrest are causing the national level of literacy to drop rapidly.  About 25% of citizens are infected with HIV.  In urban areas like Mutare, where the Methodist university is, the HIV rate is closer to 40%.  Because few people can afford antiretroviral drugs, people with HIV can look forward to living only a few years before they are struck by life-threatening AIDS symptoms.

As in many African countries, gay sex is illegal in Zimbabwe.  Zambabwe goes even farther than many countries, though; new laws have been passed which make any same-sex contact at all, even handholding and hugs, punishable with up to ten years in prison.  Homosexuality is strongly taboo culturally, and President Mugabe speaks publicly against homosexuals, claiming that homosexuality is a white scourge imported by colonizers, making gay people the scapegoats for many of Zimbabwe's most serious problems. 

And I'm sitting here, using my brand-new laptop with my high-speed connection, alone in an apartment that's big enough to house four or five people.  My kitchen is full of food.  I'm in excellent health, but I know that I have insurance that'll help me if I get seriously ill.  I'm reasonably confident that nothing I can write in this blog is going to result in my being arrested or brutalized by police.  I'm thirty five years old and have only once attended a funeral of someone I loved.  One of my sisters in Zimbabwe might well say that I live in extravagant wealth and privilege.

This is the point, I think, where I ought to say something profound and useful about the vast difference between our worlds, and about what the right way is to think and act regarding it, and what well-chosen actions and words would result in my brothers and sisters in Africa seeing that I'm not an enemy or a threat, but their sister in Christ, so they'll vote to include me fully in the church.  Or maybe I should say that I don't have a right to demand that they understand, when they have so many more serious problems.  But I'm honestly not sure what to say. 

I think perhaps that my next step is to look for ways to connect with the churches in Africa, not to educate them about GLBT issues but to learn from them about African concerns, and to see what there is for me to do to help.  I'm not sure what comes after that.

Report from the West Ohio Annual Conference

by Heather Murphy

I got back from the West Ohio Annual Conference a few days ago feeling pretty positive about the whole experience.  I felt like we were able to do real good through our conference, all of us together, and that was refreshing.

Forget about full inclusion of GLBT people into the life of the church for a minute, and let’s talk about Nothing But Nets.  As a church, we have the resources to make a genuine difference, to save thousands of lives.  And we can do it together, all of us; from the transgendered practitioner of Christian Wicca to the Westboro Baptist Church supporter, we can all come together to send planeloads of medicated mosquito nets to Africa.  We have the ability to make a real difference against malaria, and we can do it even in the middle of our pain and struggle.  We don’t agree about the place of homosexuals in the church, or about the Christian response to immigration reform, or about the wise way to deal with the difference between media values and our own, but we all agree that Bishop Ough can’t jump.  Everyone reading this blog should donate $10 to buy another mosquito net.  Do it now.  Go on.

If you’ve bought your mosquito net, then let me tell you about how that GLBT thing went in West Ohio this year.  There were three recommendations brought to the West Ohio Annual Conference, but two of them were tabled and discussion focused on a substitute for the original recommendation 12.  The recommendation asked congregations and individuals to refrain from judgment, to love one another, to study with open hearts and minds, and to make use of the materials the church has made available for study of the question.  I’ll spoil the suspense and tell you that the recommendation passed, and while there were a significant number who voted against it, it passed with a clear majority.  Those who spoke against it were passionately opposed, but their words were so filled with extremist rhetoric that they may have done more to help full inclusion than to prevent it.  As I listened to one speaker explain how homosexuality is an abomination which will result in death at the hands of the God of wrath, a stranger behind me whispered, “I do believe it’s a sin, but that isn’t right, either.”  I was especially thrilled to be called an ‘atrocity.’  I’ve been called an abomination many times before, as have we all, but I don’t think anyone has ever called me an atrocity before.  I may add it to my resume.

Lake Erie is beautiful at sunrise.  Heartfelt worship and good preaching lift the heart.  One of my companions at conference this year is expecting a child, and I truly believe that by the time that child is grown, the church will be transformed.  If she is called to ministry, she’ll be ordained whether she is gay or straight, and if God sends her love, she’ll be able to marry in her own church no matter who she wants to marry.  And she’ll ask me, “Tell me about the old days.  Is it true that the church used to have a problem with gay people?”