Reconciling Ministries Network

Can The Church Repeal Its Own DADT Policies?

by Rev. Gilbert Caldwell

President Obama in his State of the Union address, expressed his commitment to repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy of the military that prohibits Gay Americans from being open about their sexual orientation as they serve in the military. His open declaration of "working with Congress and the military..." to repeal "DADT" prompted these thoughts:

1. I remembered, as I have done before, my relatives who in their efforts to avoid the legally enforced stigma of being black, "passed" as being white. The attitude of a society that limited the rights of persons because of their racial history caused indescribable trauma among those who were "passing" and family and friends who were expected to be silent accomplices to their deception. As the military begins its process of ceasing to exit persons because of their sexual orientation, will the UMC be led to do the same? Why does the Church keep denying persons when it says denying persons is wrong?
2. I thought of comic strip character Popeye, who said of himself; "I am what I am, and that's all that I am." How foolish that our society and our military would impose a Popeye-like limitation on military personnel who are Gay by suggesting, "That's all that they are and no more". Popeye may have self-limited himself, but how could a society, a military or a Church, deny themselves the opportunity of being enriched by the multiplicity of gifts of persons, by excluding and/or limiting them because of their sexual orientation?
3. And, I dare to remember those words in Exodus 3: 14, 'I AM THAT I AM", words ascribed to a God who provides a definition of Self, that is beyond debate.

The section of the State of the Union address that launched the official challenge of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" by President Obama brought forth a memory of racial history, a remembering of a comic strip that brought joy to many of us, and a continuing awareness of a God who must weep and sometimes laugh, in response to our human foolishness.

Many Congresspersons and others applauded enthusiastically when the President expressed his intentions. Many, many United Methodists are ready to applaud with enthusiasm when our denomination rids itself of our "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Book of Discipline language. What new voices will join the voices of those of us who year-after-year have said with our words and our actions; "It is time for the United Methodist Church to stop 'passing' as being OPEN, when it is not?"

---

The Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell is a retired United Methodist Minister who lives in Asbury Park, N.J. He was active in the Massachusetts unit of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) and participated in the civil-rights movement throughout the nation. In 2000, he, with others, organized the RMN Extension ministry United Methodists of Color for a Fully Inclusive Church (UMOC), an organization committed to the full inclusion of LGBT people in every aspect of church and society. His recent book, Something Within: Works by Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell is available from Church Within A Church.

A Month of Sundays

By Rev. David Weekley

It has only been a month of Sundays since I attended Reconciling Ministries' Convocation,"Justice and Joy". It was an inspirational and literal mountain-top experience. I am thankful to every person who made this event possible. Just to be there, in community, was more than enough. To be honored by receiving the "Voice in the Wilderness" award for telling my story as a transgender clergy was an incredible honor. Returning home from this peak experience has been something like a rollercoaster.

A most vivid memory of mine is an amusement park rollercoaster. It was the corkscrew variety and climbed very high before the first steep drop. Strapped into my seat with a padded harness, I could barely move, but I could distinctly hear the 'click', 'click' of the drive-system moving us closer and closer to the pinnacle. Although I knew it was impossible I did utter a prayer to be removed from that ride. Then we were over the top and on our way. I closed my eyes a lot, and held on; there was nothing else to do. I admit, there have been moments, whole days in fact, when life felt exactly like those initial moments on that rollercoast. Like the rollercoaster ride, there was no getting off once I got on. These last four weeks have carried me, my family, and my community into a new space. This part of the journey is just beginning.

Like the rollercoaster, after the initial terror, sharing my story has been and remains an amazing experience. It is still so new I can barely express myself yet in words. But there is one wonderful result so far in this new part of the story. Over this month of Sundays, from the morning I first shared my transgender identity with my congregation I have received emails, letters, cards and other affirmations, prayer-support, and encouragement from all over the United States, and world. Most inspiring and joyful for me are the number of persons contacting me sharing their stories and sharing hope. In one situation a mother who watched the CBS interview wrote to tell me she was stuggling with her young-adult child's transition, but had found new understanding and resources from the interview. Hours later I received an email from that adult child, telling me their mother had changed her attitude and had some fears dispelled from that brief segment. To date I have received more than three hundred emails and cards. I have been able to refer many people to resources in their communities. These contacts displace any rollercoaster fears with deep gratitude and joy. All of these blessings, and it has only been a month of Sundays!   

An "Open" Letter to an African American Congresswoman, now dead, whom some thought was Lesbian

Dear ____________________,

 
You mesmerized the nation with your distinguished and significant service as a member of Congress. The precision of your articulation, the courage you exhibited to "swim against the stream" and your many accomplishments, caused friend and foe to give tribute to you. One of the newspapers that carried your obituary spoke of your 30 year relationship with your female partner/companion. Yet, one of your biographers has suggested that there is no conclusive evidence that you were same gender loving.
 
Sunday, October 11 in Washington, DC, "National Coming Out Day" will be celebrated by many LGBT persons, same gender couples and their allies. I have wondered if you were still alive, and in Washington as a Congressperson, whether you would join the celebration?
 
I marvel at so many of my many friends in church and society who for many reasons have chosen to "pass" as heterosexual. The outer and inner pressures upon them, I know, are more enormous than I could imagine. I use the term "pass", because you Congresswoman _______as an African American know that this is the common term used to describe black persons who because of their physical characteristics are able to blend in with the white population. There are persons in my famiy who have done this and I must admit their doing this caused some stress and strain in our relationships. While I, during the Civil Rights Movement was a "foot soldier" involved in protests, marches and getting arrested in the cause of racial justice, they had some reservations about identifying with me because of their fear of being "outed", racially. My physical appearance and my activism, made them uncomfortable whenever I was with them. Their fear was that one of their white friends would look at me with them, and then add 2 and 2 to make 4.
 
Congresswoman ______________, I wish that you had been able to "come out" openly when you were alive. The City Council in Washington is on the verge of enacting legislation that makes possible same sex marriage, yet, there is opposition from some African American clergy and others. You during your life, transcended all of the negative stereotypes that many persons in society as well as the church use to demean LGBT persons and same gender couples. If you had been able to be open about your sexual identity, some of the fear tactics that are being used today that are unworthy of those who claim Christ as Lord, Liberator and Savior, would be revealed as what they are; "full of sound and fury signifiying nothing".
 
My prayer is that the National Coming Out Day event, will find a way to acknowledge persons now dead, who during their lifetimes could not express openly, the totality of who they were. Those who gather in Washington, will for many of us be giving a posthumous tribute to you Congresswoman __________. You were a source of profound inspiration to me and so many.
 
Gil Caldwell

I Am Fully Me At Last!

Rev. Ray Hinton

This is a portion of a letter I sent to a number of pastors, many of whom I have known 40 years. It is my coming out to them. I enclosed my Stand Tall Gay Man poem.

June 5, 2009

Background Information

At age 27 I was hospitalized in a psyche ward twice  – a month each

– followed by nearly 30 years of clinical depression. Now age 71.

In the past you have been there for me. Thank you. Now - as Paul Harvey would say, ‘I want you to know the rest of the story. I am a gay man. I could not tell you then!

Last night I hosted a Gay – Lesbian Social in my home. A few years ago a professional said, “This group is my safe place.”

Should anyone need a safe place, especially in the church?

What is the church?

I will not be attending Annual Conference. While I am not ashamed of who I am or what I have done, I am a bit tender. I struggled to understand who I am since youth. My gay nature was like a dog nipping at my heels until I reached down and petted it.

As you vote at Annual Conference, please be prayerfully aware of others like myself  (clergy and lay) who are still struggling within with their sexuality –extremely fearful of being found out. We are many in the UMC. An elder-care lawyer said, “Why is it most Methodist Ministers are gay?”

Having visited more than once in almost every home in every parish I served, I honestly believe the focus at Conference is merely a spot fire of the real issue facing our denomination. The anger present in our churches is often rooted in unhealed physical – emotional and spiritual pain especially when individuals (gay and non-gay) do not find here a HEALING PRESENCE.

Agape – unconditional love / acceptance does not imply approval. (This concept is vital to the understanding of acceptance!)

Health and empowering individuals to be all who God knows we already are is my continued focus.  As individuals are empowered the church likewise is empowered –in that order.

I can live with truth – not a lie. I am fully me at last!

Faithfully,

Rev. Raymond Hinton

Stand Tall Gay Men
Gay Pride It Be
> My Birthing  <

Stand Tall Gay Men
Very Tall
Proud Of Who We Be
Dubbed   Gay Pride
Healthily Proud

Prejudicial Persecution
Out Of Sight  =  Out Of Mind
Ashamed Of We  -  They Be
Grossly Misunderstood
Religious Bias
Disowned
Funerals Held
Vindictive Homophobic’s Vent Rage
In The Name Of Righteousness
Matthew Shepherd
(Remember Them In Your Heart}
Need I Say More
Need I say More

Shatters Our Worlds
My World
My Well Being Questioned
Hopes ‘n Dreams
Emasculated
Angry
Clinically Depressed
Frozen Rage It Be
Zilch Creativity
Frozen Mind
Near Non-Reader Me
Dumbest On Earth  -   Felt Me
Guilty To Even Be
Hopelessly Helpless
Felt Alone
Abandoned

Feared Rejection
Ridicule
Persecution
Grew Distant
Hardened Heart
Coldest Fish On Earth
Hid
Unconscious Insulation  -  It Be
Lived A Lie Did I
Closeted Its Called
Painfully Demoralized
A Coward
Ashamed of Me
Frantically Ran   --  From Me
Everything To Live For
(‘N Still Do)
But
It Didn’t Cut Mustard
Nor Happiness Bring
Prayed Nightly To Die
Twice Tried It

Disillusioned
Hope Gone
My Knight In Shining Armor Was Not
No Liberator  -   Out There
Would Never Be
Gut Wrenching
Hurting Deeply Within
Through Tear Stained Eyes
Dawned A Glimmer of Hope
A Refreshing Insight
Sparkling Clear Like Water
Life Emerges From Within
My Own Knight  -  Must I Be
My Cry Was Answered
The Miracle Could Yet Happen
Morning Light Follows Darkness of Night

Gay Pride’s The Answer
Potential Life It Brings
Claim    Who I Be
A Gay Man
Life Today   Could Yet Be
Depending On Me
Yes
Only Me
Life  ==   The Guts To Be


Simple Secret  --  Yet Profound
Believe In Myself
All Of Who I Am
A Gay Man ‘N A Man Of Faith
Stand Tall ‘n Claim My Worth
Right To Be
Much GOODNESS Within
Dubbed  >> ‘The God In Me’
Known By Many Names
Author of Life
Higher Power
> The Name You Cherish <
My Highest / Divine Self
Ah Ha
Yes
Empowering God Within
Encouraging Me To Be
Yes
Pride
Gay Pride
Stand Tall ‘n Be

Life
Permission To Be
Germinated From The Tiniest Seed
Slowly  - Slowly    –     Slowly Grew
Did I Mention Painfully Slow
Not Patient  -  Me?
Caged
Grew Angry
Struggled Through Rocky Resistant Soil
Stretched Upward Seeking Light  ‘n Fresh Air
Became Healthier ‘n Stronger
Gay Pride   -  Was The Life-Giving’ Seed
New Life There Be

Head Erect
Shoulders Back
Standing Tall
Empowered To Be    The Man I Am
Always Meant To Be
A Winner
Whole At Last
Bingo
Made It!
I Am Who I Am
Unashamedly   -   A Man Of Faith
‘N Gay To The Core
Not What I Do
Who I Am
Me

Incredible
Age Seventy  -  My Search’s Ended
Truth Discovered
Everything’s Within
Patiently Waiting On Me
Amazing It Be
Strength, Courage, Resiliency
Source of Happiness ‘n Friendships Too
My Own Liberating Agent  -  Energized Within
Gay Pride Turns The Key
Pride
Yes
Gay Pride Turns The Key

Indoctrinated
Ingrained Strongly Within
Pride’s Sinful
Homosexuality Too
Progress  -  Status Changed
Mental Illness It Became
Enlightenment ?
Helpful?
An Alternate Life Style
Healthy View
Quickly Reverted
Sin Again

Gay Meant Happy   -  Joyful –   Cheerful
Still Does
The Rainbow’s Our Symbol
Beautiful It Be
Colorful Rainbows Transform Storms
Beautiful Gay Be

Gray Is Gorgeous
Amazing Gray Matter A Gift To Me
Essential
Essential
Did I Say Essential
Think – Think – Think Some More
Our Ace In The Hole
Use It or Lose It
Well Endowed Are We
Understanding Empowers
Initiates Chain Reactions
Gives Courage To Risk
Sets Captives Free
Is There Life Without Risk?
What?  -  Tell Me!
Stand Tall Gay Men
Cherish ‘n Be

My Heart Aches
For Men Everywhere
Who Search A Lifetime For Happiness
Minds Fraught
Hearts Aching
Unrealized Hopes ‘n Dreams
Empty, Aching, Longing, Terrified , Angry
Gay – Bisexual – Transgender
Encompassing All Ages ‘n Races
Men of Worth  -  Each Unique
Definitely   –    Definitely  Men
Caught In The Hangman’s Noose
Geographical, Cultural ‘n Religious
Marital Situation, Family ‘n Friends
Fearing Aids
Quality Men of Value ‘n Worth
Each Wonderfully Unique
Struggling To Be

Caring Healing Presence
Pilot Me
Increase My Faith In Others
More Sensitive
My Heart More Caring
More Appreciative Be
Respecting Other’s Intelligence
Each Capable   -  Wise Choices Make
Open My Eyes To See As You See
Good In Others
Strengths ‘n Contributions
Kind Loving Hearts
Tenderness  ‘n Compassion
Wisdom ‘n Creativity
Your Own Child
Your Presence In Each
Dear To You

Gentle Shepherd
May I Slow Down ‘n Recall
My Own Rocky Path
May I Never Forget
Those Who Were There For Me
Lest I Forget ‘n Judge
Offering Un-requested Advice
May I Respect Others’ Intelligence
‘N Fix Not What May Not Be Broken
But Trust My Bothers
‘N You  O Tender One
For What You Alone Do Best

God Of Our Forefathers
Healthy Encouraging Affirming Parent
May I Never Forget Those who Paved Freedoms’ Way
Gay   ‘n    Straight
Sacrifices Made  ---  Their Sweat, Blood And Tears
The For-runners Of Life For Me Today
Spiritual Giants
Gay ‘n  Straight
Their Sacrifices Made  ---  Sweat, Blood ‘n Tears
Martin Luther
Mahatma Gandhi
Martin Luther King
‘N Those Who Led Me To My Heart
St Francis Of Assisi
Henry J. No-win
‘ N Men Who Died Standing Tall
Proud To Be Gay
May I Also Be

Sensitizer
May I Harden Not My Heart
For Our Persecutors
Angry Homophobic’s  -  Hurting Too Are They
Similar To We
Inward War Zones  -  Vent Their Hurt On We
Un-healed Pain   -  Often Rooted Elsewhere
Just Angry They Be
Often Self-Hate  -  Denial Of Who They Be
Transgender  -  Bi-Sexual  -  Gay
Simply Mirrors Are We
Reflections Of Who They Be  -  Often Unknowingly
Fearful
Ashamed Of Inner Struggle
Hurting – Hurting - Hurting
Vent Anger On We
Merely Dumping Grounds   Are We

Solace Within
Thank You For You
May I Be More Understanding ‘n Forgiving
Those I Hurt Along The Way  -  Family ‘n Friends
Struggling With My Growth ‘n Moods
Like A Seedling Breaking Ground
Necessary For Me To Be
Their Well-being Also Questioned
Images Of Me  -  Shattered
They Too Throbbing Within
Thank You O Gentle One
Your Presence  -   I n Them Also Be
A Solace Within

Thank You
Transforming Empowering One
It’s In The Head
It’s In The Heart
At The Top Of The Mountain I Be
Glimpsing The Promised Land
The Journey Has Not Ended
It Has Only Begun
My Birthing It Be
The Future’s Unknown
No Promises  Nor Easy Sledding
Nor Guarantees Given
A Bit Scary It Be

Guiding Spirit
Whatever Comes
Whatever May Be
May I Always Pause To Remember
The Long Line Of Splendor
Of Those Who Paved The Way
‘N Also Courageously
Stand Tall ‘N Be
Me.   

Ray Hinton,
UMC Clergy
February 2008

Reasons I Went Ex-Gay

I spent years and years trying to de-gay myself through ex-gay ministries and gay reparative therapy. I finally came to my senses and accepted myself as gay. In this video I look at the several reasons why I tried to straighten myself out. 

Peterson's blog is located at http://petersontoscano.wordpress.com/

To Come Out or Not To Come Out

By David E Braden

In the film, Milk, Supervisor Harvey Milk portrayed by 2008 Academy Award Winner Sean Penn tells his followers that they need to come out to their families, their friends, their co-workers – to everyone. The more people who know “us” the more they accept us. Harvey’s long-time partner Scotty expresses concern about the safety of their constituents and friends if they come out of the closet.

I struggle with such insistence for people to come out. One reads stories in magazines like Out that call on one celebrity or another to come out of the closet. It makes me uncomfortable.

Calling All Gay Pastors

I remember hearing someone not too long ago in the reconciling movement question, “What if all of the queer pastors just came out? What if they just announced who they were, en mass? What would the Church do? Would they charge all of us?”

It is an intriguing scenario that relies on multiple ducks to queue up. But rather than discuss whether such a scenario is feasible, I want to talk about the tone that I so often hear during such discussions. I hear and feel so much pain that the Church has caused because it forbids queer pastors from living fully human lives. But rather than directing such pain and anger at the Church and our Discipline, I hear far too many people (in my opinion) pointing figures at our clergy, asking them why they have not come out? Why do they collude with the Institution by remaining silent? Why do they continue to preach in a Church that denies them their full being?

In one sense, these are fantastic questions to be asking but in another they seem to be attacking queer clergy and abusing them again. Are we blaming the oppressed? From where I stand, we have unjust laws in our Church and we need to change them. I am just concerned that when we get into debates on whether queer pastors should come out, we are missing opportunities to be talking about how we can change our current systems of being.

Questions That I Ponder from Time to Time

As a white, gay, young professional who has been openly gay for nearly 10 years, I wonder:

• Why do we privilege coming out?
• Do we look condescendingly on those who do not come out? If so, why?
• In what ways is “coming out” culturally, racially, ethnically, and/or generationally determined? In what ways is asking someone to “come out” another form of hegemony? When is it liberating?
• Where does self-determination fit into all of this?
• What would a world look like in which all people – heterosexual, homosexual, male, female, trans – had to decide whether to “declare” their sexuality and/or gender publicly?

More Questions For the Church Community

• What can we do to create an environment where pastors (and other LGBTQ folks) can make the decision on whether to come out without fearing the loss of their jobs, communities, and families?
• How can we support pastors who are in the closet without pressuring them to endanger themselves?
• How does our culture view coming out? How does our church view coming out?
• How does our church’s definition of “self-avowed, practicing homosexual” affect our denomination’s understanding of coming out?

An Open Letter to Our Oppressors

(Promoted at RMNblog.org)

In light of the passage of Proposition 8 with the denial and removal of rights for gay and lesbian couples, and the other anti-gay ballot measures recently passed, the inclusion of Rick Warren in the upcoming US presidential inauguration festivities, and recent anti-gay comments by the Pope (along with may many other previous anti-gay statements), I wish to write an open letter to my oppressors, many of them fellow Christians.

Dear Oppressors,

Yes, I hear you. I am not deaf to your messages. To the Holy Father in Rome, Reverend Rick Warren in California, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,  the many supporters of Prop 8, Focus on the Family, Exodus International, and so many others who publicly speak out against LGBT people and our rights, I hear you loud and clear. No matter how you sugarcoat it and wrap it up with smiles and scripture and say that you are nothing like the extremist, Fred Phelps, I hear your message loud and clear telling me that I am inferior and unwanted in your world. These are not your words, but all the same this is the message you communicate.

I hear you insist time and time again in multiple ways that heterosexuals are superior to gays and lesbians. Your marriages, your homes, your “lifestyles” are normal, but mine? Not so much. I hear you declare that I am not capable of producing anything good or beneficial other than some window treatments or a decent hair style. In essence I hear you say that I am worthless and the cause of untold woes and problems, the harbinger of even worst things to come.

Some of your best friends may be gay, and you may profess that you really love the homosexual, but all the while your words and aggressively anti-gay activism consistently serve to dehumanize me–to present me and my kind as oversexed, deformed animals.

You remain steadfast in your opposition to the full inclusion of LGBT people in the life of the church. You oppose, limit and even remove rights in order to keep us unequal and legally inferior. You spend exorbitant amounts of money and time telling lies about us while expending so little energy actually getting to know us. You deal with theories, not reality. And you are wrong, dead wrong.

You treat us as an inconvenient and unwanted Christmas gift that you desperately wish to exchange for something better. You belittle our love, our families, our faith, our morals, our very lives while all the time you claim to speak the truth in love. This is not love. This is fear. It is control and oppression, and it is the rejection of God’s gifts to the church, society and in some cases to your very families.

I know all about rejecting this gift. I did it for years as I repented daily of the same-sex attractions and gender differences I found inside me. I demonized my sexuality and believed no good could come of my gay orientation. I proceeded to return this gift as I bullied God for something else–I coveted my straight neighbor’s life believing the propaganda that his was the idealized norm to follow instead of trusting God for the life I had been given.

In the midst of all that I experienced grace and tenderness from God, extreme patience, kindness ultimately leading to a deeper repentance, one based in Light and reality, a repentance that recognizes that a gay orientation and gender differences came to me as an astonishing gift of power and beauty.

I confess I do not possess the same patience and understanding as God. Your words, your bully tactics, your unbridled and arrogant superiority sicken me. I struggle to love you or call you brother. Yet I remember the years that I persecuted myself and others, the dread of change that ruled my life and my narrow faith, and the need to contain everything in simple boxes with no unanswered questions or gray areas.

I may be a peace-loving Quaker and a Christian, but that doesn’t mean I am going to avoid confrontation or assume we can all just hold hands and overlook our differences. To do so would be to support your oppression and enable you to continue in it with my permission. I point out to you what you may be unwilling or unable to see. You stand as oppressors, bullies, abusers imposing your sexuality and religious views on others. Are your hearts evil and full of bad intentions? I cannot say. I do not speak of your hearts but of your actions and your words.

In spite of the opposition and the oppression, we will thrive. Transgender people, lesbians, bisexuals, and gays will have our families, our faith, our places in our communities. We will walk hand in hand with our partners without apology and without shame. We will enjoy our sexual lives as a expression of our love and as a conduit of pleasure–pure and simple. We will not go away or heed your flawed and uninformed message.

And perhaps one day you will come to your senses. Perhaps you will see with clearer eyes. Perhaps you too will repent of your bullying and the rejection of the gifts among you. Regardless, we will not back down, and we will continue to live our lives with dignity.

Peter Toscano
Blog

Coming Out on Coming Out Day

By Leland Spencer

On October 10, 1984, my mother had dinner at Chi-Chi's restaurant. For many people, such a meal would induce acid indigestion. For my mom, it induced labor. I was born at seven minutes after midnight on October 11.

Some of my friends in the Gay-Straight Alliance at Mount Union College were among the first to point out the humor and irony of my date of birth: it coincides with National Coming Out Day. Therefore, I quite literally came out on National Coming Out Day (although my birth technically pre-dated the inaugural National Coming Out Day celebration by a few years, if you want to get technical).

Other than the aforementioned literal coming out 24 years ago, I've never come out to someone on National Coming Out Day, but I think it's fantastic that such a day exists. If you are in any stage of the coming out process, I encourage you to think about today as a day to make some progress on your journey toward being your whole, authentic self. Others are with you--especially today.

Wherever you are in the process, the message I want to send you is this: congratulations! Even if you're not out at all, you're reading a blog post about National Coming Out Day, and that's a big step, especially if it's one of the first steps you've taken.

I see coming out as a spiritual process, one in which we practice loving God's creation--beginning with ourselves--by embracing the persons God created us to be. Therefore, I mean it when I say to those who are celebrating National Coming Out Day today: Congratulations, and Amen!

Ray Boltz comes out

By Heather Murphy

I listened to a lot of Contemporary Christian Music when I was a teenager.  Amy Grant, Sandi Patti, DC Talk, Petra, Whiteheart, I had all of their cassettes.  I even had One Bad Pig; beat that, readers.   My very first mix-tape, given to me by a friend of the family, included Ray Boltz's "Thank You," which I have stuck in my head right this very moment even though I haven't heard it in years.  His "Watch the Lamb" was the focal point of my first Easter cantata.

CCM isn't a field that's forgiving of what it considers to be moral failings- at least it wasn't when I last checked in on it.  So the coming-out of Ray Boltz is a big deal.  I can relate to the path he discusses, first fighting against what he was, then trying to fix it, and ultimately accepting it. 

So congratulations, Ray, on your coming out.  Feels good, doesn't it?  I'm looking forward to hearing from some of the other closeted voices in CCM, too.  You know who you are.  Come out, come out, whoever you are...

Hearty congratulations to SMU

By Heather Murphy

The Princeton Review has listed its annual college rankings, and Southern Methodist University has made the list- #14 of the 20 most homophobic schools in the country.  Congratulations, SMU!  The George W Bush Presidential Library should be right at home on your campus.  Keep up the good work!

A search of Facebook reveals that, of more than 10,000 students, exactly 30 have indicated on their profiles that they are gay or lesbian.  That's a mighty crowded closet they have down at SMU.

Now, my alma mater would have been proud to be on that list.  In fact, I'm a little disappointed that they aren't; according to the Dallas Voice article, SMU has both domestic partner benefits for employees and a GLBT support organization for students, neither of which I think exist back at good ol' Milligan College. 

School is starting again, and a lot of closeted GLBT people are heading back to Southern Methodist University.  Some of them might well be reading this very blog, and I'll bet they've heard the news of their university's achievement, too.  Hello, brothers-an'-sisters!  Have you considered what would happen if a significant number of you came out as you start school this year?  You're not wrong to be scared about it.  You're right that you'll meet hostility, and probably lose some friends.  Of course, you will also probably make some friends, and you won't have to worry about people discovering your shameful secret anymore.  And you might be able to help change the feelings of your fellow students- and that, brothers and sisters, might just help to change the future of the Methodist Church.  You might even help make it a little less scary for next year's class of freshmen to decide whether to come out or live in the closet.  But it isn't my place to tell you to do it- that's your decision, and you're the one who has the power to decide how, and when, you come out. 

If you are thinking about making this school year your coming-out year, Southern Methodist University's GLBT support group is called Spectrum.  Looks like a fun bunch of people.  There's also a group called Allies looking out for your interests.  The faculty advisor is Karen Click. 

The Human Rights Campaign has some excellent advice for people who are considering coming out.  I made use of their web site when I was coming out and found it really helpful.

May God go with you, whatever choice you make.  I'll be praying for you.