Reconciling Ministries Network

Wonderfully Made

by Violet Fenn

On May 19, I took a major step in my gender transition when I had out-patient surgery that takes me closer to completion. As I think about this, I am reminded of a portion of Psalm 139. In this part, David praises God for creating him; he is “fearfully and wonderfully made.” This is an incredible concept, but one that unfortunately gets used towards those in the LGBTQ community in a judgmental manner. When we come out, we are told that those feelings are sinful. To add insult to injury, those same people presumptuously tell us that we weren’t created to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, as if they knew exactly what God was thinking.

My earliest memory of “feeling different” came at the age of six or seven. My fundamental religious upbringing forbade me from saying anything about it. As I grew up, there were several incidents that occurred that were evidence of my transgender nature but there was a sense of shame attached and I repressed my feelings. When I was 26, I finally realized that I am a transgender woman. Though I knew the answer, I believed that there was something wrong with me and felt like a freak of nature. I believed God wouldn’t make me like that and I actually developed a sense of self-hatred. Eventually with time and incredible support and resources, my self-hatred went away.

While I don’t know why I have been created as transgender, I know that there is a reason behind it, just as David acknowledged in Psalm 139’s sixteenth verse:

“Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written
all the days that were formed for me,
when none of them as yet existed.”

Those of us in the LGBTQ community are all beautiful children of God, just like our straight allies. We add to the incredible diversity of creation. Never forget that.

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Violet Fenn, a United Methodist for 5 years, is a senior at Northeastern State University in Broken Arrow, OK majoring in English with a minor in Psychology. Violet became involved with RMN in April after attending a Call to Witness training. She is now part of leadership with MOSAIC as well as its TransJustice work group.

Comfort

by Violet Fenn

Advent and Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. My favorite part of the four weeks is the performance of Handel’s Messiah that I attend annually. The Christmas portion begins with an overture and then a beautiful tenor aria that starts with text from the 40th chapter of Isaiah: “Comfort, O comfort my people, says your God.” This incredible verse speaks volumes and has spoken the loudest to me this year.

In a recent sermon, the senior minister at the church I attend said: “Friends are sometimes God’s apology for your family.” Many people can relate, but to the LGBTQ community it has particular meaning. When our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents and other blood relatives hear the news from us that we are lesbian, gay, bisexual or queer, the reaction is not always what we expect. There is often shock, anger and judgment. So when we are rejected by our families, we turn to others in the LGBTQ community who can relate. We can also turn to others who are our allies. Not only can we turn to others, we can turn to God. To some, this seems like a contradictory statement. We who are Reconciling know differently. We can turn to the one who created us exactly like we are.

This Advent, those words from Isaiah have a new meaning for me. I take comfort in knowing that Christ is present but I also take comfort in knowing that God is with me despite the heartache I experienced when much of my family rejected me. We in the Reconciling movement who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer can take comfort knowing that when we are open and accepting of ourselves, God is pleased even though our families may not be.

If this Advent seems to be lonelier without family, we can look to the family we choose: friends. We can also look to God, the friend we all have. Take comfort in that.

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Violet Fenn, a United Methodist for 5 years, is a senior at Northeastern State University in Broken Arrow, OK majoring in English with a minor in Psychology. Violet became involved with RMN in April after attending a Call to Witness training. She is now part of leadership with MOSAIC as well as its TransJustice work group.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

by Violet Fenn

Redistributed from Reconciling Ministries FlashNet

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Today, many memorial services will be held around the world to remember the lives of men and women that were killed because of they were transgendered. As of November 11th, eighty-eight (11 in the U.S) beautiful children of God are no longer with us because of hatred and bigotry at its worst.

I am a transwoman. Though I have never been a victim of a violent attack, I have experienced bigotry. In June, I was asked not to return to the Sunday school class I was part of at the UMC church I was a member of. Most of the members of the class knew me before I began my gender transition and promised their support. Needless to say, when I was asked not to come back, I was shocked and hurt. Not only that, I was baffled that a church professes “Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors” could deny one of its members the fellowship of others simply because of gender identity. I was told that had I been a gay man or a lesbian, there wouldn’t have been any issues.

Unfortunately, situations similar to this are far too common within the Methodist Church. The UMC has no doubt lost many members that are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer and has lost many who are our allies simply because of discrimination.

I did not give up on the UMC; I truly believe that it can be fully open and inclusive. Last year, a step in the right direction was made when a resolution against homophobia and heterosexism was passed by the 2008 General Conference. One section in particular rings out: “THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that The United Methodist Church strengthen its advocacy of the eradication of sexism by opposing all forms of violence or discrimination based on gender, gender identity, sexual practice or sexual orientation.” How do we as United Methodists put this into practice? By practicing openness and authenticity.

We practice openness when we live unashamed of our gender identity or sexual orientation. We practice openness when we tell others that as straight allies we love and are welcoming to our LGBT brothers and sisters. We practice openness when we proclaim that violence and discrimination towards the LGBT community is wrong.

We practice authenticity when we put those words and thoughts into action.

On this day, I also remember the incredible contributions that many in the trans community have made. In my own journey, UMC minister Rev. David Weekley and Dr. Laura Arrowsmith, the leader of the transgender support group I attend, have made a huge and positive impact.

While I grieve for the fallen, I also grieve the exclusion of transgendered men and women in the Church. When we are fully inclusive, we honor Christ’s intention for the Church and repent of the sin of exclusion. By authentically practicing inclusion, we keep hope alive, honor the memory of the fallen and honor the world’s amazing diversity.