Reconciling Ministries Network

Annual Conference Update: Mississippi

by Renee Sappington

I tried to be prepared for the worst going into Mississippi’s Annual Conference, knowing the anger and fear that had been expressed regarding the testimony my partner and I shared at last year’s Conference, and knowing the tone of Resolutions #3 and #8 which in seeking closure to last year’s testimony sought to silence such voices in the future.  Even after the overwhelmingly positive response from the 80 people across the state endorsing Resolution #6 (The Need for Sacred Conversations), I tried to maintain low expectations for Conference.   Try as I might though, I couldn’t help but hope.  You know the hope I’m talking about – the hope that keeps us in the church and inspires our involvement with RMN because we believe the grace and courage and love present in our pews will finally absorb and transform the ignorance and fear and hate that is also there.  It’s a hope well-founded in the faith that that’s the way God works – overcoming evil with good, darkness with light, and death with life.  And I’d have to say that on the morning of June 12, 2010, at the MS Annual Conference, we watched as God did what God does - Resolution #6 passed!  And  I join the author of Ephesians in saying “Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of; infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts or hopes.”  (Eph. 3:20 TLB)

I felt good about the amendments to the Resolution which included using the term GLBT in lieu of gays and lesbians, and adding that sacred conversations will be grounded in Scripture.  Regarding the latter, I welcome the opportunity to not only address the “clobber” passages but more importantly to share how Scripture itself calls us to welcome the stranger, protect the oppressed, and reach out to the marginalized.  I believe if we read the Bible seriously, with hearts and minds open to the Spirit, most of us will be challenged to include those whom, truth be told, we’d kind of rather exclude.   I also believe that same challenge will take place when we engage in sacred conversations, conversations which we have official permission to have!  

Annual Conference Update: Texas

 by Laura Young

This year, Breaking the Silence (BTS) hosted its 14th annual luncheon at the Texas Annual Conference (Texas AC). Approximately 300 clergy and laity gathered to hear director Ky Dickens talk to us about her newly released documentary, “Fish Out of Water.” She shared experiences and valuable information accumulated as she toured the nation interviewing theologians, scholars, and hundreds of LGBT persons longing to be welcomed in their churches. Included in her speech was a challenge to Believe Out Loud, and to begin now, in this critical 12 months leading up to the 2011 election year when we will elect delegates to General Conference. If we begin now, and spend the next year believing out loud, we have the potential to truly impact the election results and the representatives we send to General Conference in 2012.

Some clergy and laity began believing out loud as soon as they left the BTS luncheon and returned to the afternoon business session. Bering Memorial UMC in Houston (the only reconciling congregation in the Texas AC) provided “goody bags” for all who attended the BTS luncheon. Inside the goody bags was a variety of fun items to help us believe out loud. They included buttons, pencils, stickers, lanyards (the ribbons we wear around our necks to hold our conference name badges), and candy, of course! Buttons are always a big hit and we saw them on shirts, jackets, and tote bags throughout the rest of the week, but the lanyards win the prize this year! You see, when we registered for annual conference we received a red lanyard custom made to say, “Texas Annual Conference.” Our goody bags provided blue lanyards custom made to say, “Breaking the Silence.” Some of our clergy and laity chose to permanently replace their red TEXAS AC lanyard with the blue BTS lanyard for the rest of the conference. Because they were different from the official lanyard, they stuck out and became a visible witness and great conversation starter!

We must move from being Reconciling United Methodists to Reconciling United Methodists who Believe Out Loud. Each of us is likely in a different place on that particular journey. Your next step toward being a Reconciling United Methodist who believes out loud is probably different from the next step your neighbor needs to take. For some in the Texas AC, wearing that blue BTS lanyard into the business session was a huge first step toward believing out loud. BTS invites everyone to join us. Whatever that next step is for you . . . . take it!

From section to plenary…should it be this easy? What did we miss?

By Rev. David P. Aslesen, Northern Illinois Conference, former RMN board member, member of RMClergy, former pastor of two reconciling congregations; pastor, Grace UMC: Rockford, IL

I had the fortunate if not a bit intimidating experience of chairing a legislative section at this year’s annual meeting of the Northern Illinois Conference. Adopting the structure of General Conference, my section entitled “Order” dealt with a number of resolutions on the inclusive church: requesting Judicial Council reconsideration of Decision 1032, defining membership status, requesting declaratory decisions from same Judicial Council, reaffirming membership. (We had a rather tranquil resolution on updating conference by-laws, too; it was a nice breather.)

I should add that I had been recruited the night before the first day of conference to chair my section. So with fear and trembling, I took command of the legislation and proceeded to prepare myself in good Wesleyan tradition to lead my section onto perfecting documents toward the salvation of our denomination! (Cue: “Are Ye Able?”)

As we began, I became more and more surprised by the action of the section. There was no discussion on the resolutions at hand. No one seemed to bat an eye as to the rationale for reconsideration. Only three or four persons in a room of one hundred delegates voted against the petitions as authored by Euclid Avenue UMC of Oak Park, IL, one of our conference’s more active reconciling congregations. With a quick raise of the hands and a few more votes, all the assigned resolutions addressing lgbt persons within the denomination passed. (The discussion on the by-laws, however, took at least ten minutes; that’s Methodism for you.)

What does this quick vote mean? What does it mean that the resolutions, several of which asked for Judicial Council action, when brought to the floor of the Annual Conference plenary sparked little debate and few dissenting votes? (Voting was on average 420-40 in favor on the resolutions in question.) Had we arrived at the promised land? LGBT delegates and allied delegates began looking for Joshua; was it time for him to pass the milk and honey? Could Miriam finally bust out her tambourine and lead us all in a dance of freedom? Or did we forget something? Did we neglect someone? Should it have been that easy?

I believe the challenge posed by the passed resolutions was met: initiate a “re-think” opportunity for Judicial Council as to their decisions and those of the General Conference in 2008. Good challenge and as someone who worked hard at the last General Conference to elect a more just United Methodist Judicial Council I believe they are up to the job of not only reconsidering but reversing their decision on membership. I pray they will. I rejoice in the witness of my annual conference but like my fellow conference member David Braden reflected in an earlier blog posting, are we resting on our laurels?

Annual Conference Updates: California-Pacific Conference

Telling Our Stories

In 2009 the California-Pacific Annual Conference adopted a motion by Ed Hansen, UM pastor, retired that stated: “In order to build bridges of awareness and understanding that the planners of the 2010 Annual Conference include a significant amount of time on the agenda for United Methodist gay and lesbian families to share their stories with the Annual Conference.”

To fulfill this opportunity, Ed Hansen coordinated meetings at several locations in the Cal-Pac Conference to recruit participants, to shoot video and to practice sharing our stories. A helpful training session was led by Louise Brooks, California Faith for Equality Media Coordinator and media/messaging consultant to Integrity USA, the lgbt advocacy group in the Episcopal Church. Her counsel helped us shorten our stories while making them more effective.

Ed Hansen shared his own story at the opening worship of Conference. The “Telling Our Stories” video created by Marie Fairman, a transgender member of this project, was shown at the Friday morning plenary, followed by Harold and Ellen Kameya sharing feelings for their lesbian daughter. Altogether there were 11 live presentations involving lgbt couples and singles, their parents and families. A booklet of 26 written stories was prepared and made available in hard copy and on line. We also had a booth that included resources from the RMN, displays, a bibliography, buttons, and other items, along with participants in our “Telling Our Stories” project who were able to greet people and engage in dialogue. Also, one of the “Learning Circles” (a Conference break out session) was led by persons from the Hollywood United Methodist Church who used the theme, “Drawing the Circle Wide” (Creating a Culture of Radical Welcome).

The response to all of our efforts was overwhelmingly positive. At the conclusion of our last presentation during the final plenary session a standing ovation expressed the appreciation of the Conference. And the participants themselves, while anxious about sharing their stories before a large audience, found healing and empowerment through the process of preparing and sharing. Individual members of the Conference came to many of us to express their appreciation and/or to share their own stories.

We will now consider what next steps to take to build on this very powerful experience and many of us are willing to offer ourselves as resources to local churches that want to explore their welcome to lgbt people. Marie Fairman will edit a video of the combined live presentations to add to the video that was shown to the Conference and our Conference website will offer links to these resources for those who wish to utilize them.

Annual Conference Updates: Cal-Nevada

By Chris Allan, Interim Chair, CCOR (Conference Committee on Reconciliation)

Drew Phoenix addresses packed luncheon

Both sharing his story and ways to help make churches safer for transgender people, Rev. Drew Phoenix was the featured speaker at CCOR’s annual luncheon this year.  Phoenix spoke after the committee’s Turtle Award (for individuals who have stuck out their necks in some way) was given posthumously to Bob Cary, a gay man whose witness and work in the Cal-Nevada Conference touched many during his lifetime.

Committee members also sponsored two pieces of legislation for this year’s Conference: Item 19 (approved on the Consent Calendar) focused on addressing the church’s heterosexism by calling on welcoming churches to reach out to youth in their communities and encourage them to join us in the work of inclusion.  Item 24 (ruled Out of Order by Bishop Brown) called on the Judicial Council to reconsider Decision 1032 on its own motion.

CCOR also had a strong presence through its outreach/display table, sharing resources, offering rainbow stoles and buttons, and attracting new additions to the committee’s expanding network. 

Finally, CCOR also had representatives at a special diversity presentation at conference, as well as at the local Pride parade.

Annual Conference Update: Kentucky

by David Stierle, Vice-President of Progressive United Methodists of Kentucky (PUMOK)

Progressive United Methodist of Kentucky (PUMOK) had a table at the 2010 Kentucky Annual Conference held June 9-10. We had and displayed dozens of "Believe Out Loud" pins and a lot of literature on RMN. I would describe the literature except that it and the pins are ALL gone.

In 2009, I staffed our booth for one day. I remember talking to two people. This year, before the start of the sessions and during the breaks between sessions and during the lunch hour, many people stopped at our table and expressed interest in our and your messages. [We had to have more of our brochures made on the afternoon of the first day.]

Annual Conference Update: Nebraska

by Betty Dorr

Fortunately, Reconciling Ministries Network had a good location this year for its information table in a hallway just outside the Nebraska Annual Conference meeting room on the Nebraska Wesleyan University campus in Lincoln. As a result, we had a lot of traffic. What thrilled those staffing the table was that many of the people we talked to were rural Nebraskans, both lay people and pastors. We used the two posters in the RMN packet, and they attracted a lot of comments.

We were so busy at the table we didn’t move around much to see other table displays. The only quiet time came when conference delegates left the building to go to 40 sites in Lincoln for a mission work experience. This was for a half day and it was called “a church that left the building.”

We also used as talking points five pages consisting of four General Conference Resolutions and one page from the Social Principles: Equal Rights Regardless of Sexual Orientation. This material was prepared by Rev. Stephen Griffith of Lincoln. We handed out more than 75 copies. Most of the people we talked to were not aware of the Book of Resolutions. We listened to many stories and will be working with at least three pastors in rural areas to help with families of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons.

Also this year, we had 100 youth in attendance, the largest number in recent years, and they visited our table a lot. Most were wearing stoles and pins by the end of the conference. We all felt excitement and joy for all the conversations we had this year and hope to continue that Reconciling journey.

The ordination and commissioning service at Annual Conference was special this year for First United Methodist Church-Omaha. Rev. Debra McKnight, FUMC associate pastor, became an ordained United Methodist minister along with five others. Family members and friends, including some from FUMC-Omaha, stood in support during the traditional “laying on of hands.”

God's Eye is on the Sparrow

By David E Braden

Last week, Northern Illinois met for its Annual Conference. This year, we had a focus on young people and there was a special worship service on Sunday night that involved young people in a significant way. What amazed me most about this service was watching the young people on the overhead screens, singing in the choir and reading from the pulpit, and seeing a sea of pink, "All Means All" buttons. We talk so much about young people experiencing the church as discriminatory and hateful. >From my own experience, I know this to be true http://www.rmnblog.org/2008/09/ex-gay-therapy.html. But on this night, here were the youth and young adults of Northern Illinois proudly wearing a sea of pink buttons. What a joy, what a witness!

We had seven petitions focused on inclusion of people of all sexual orientations and gender identities within The United Methodist Church. Many of these petitions included requests for Declaratory Decisions from the Judicial Council to overturn its discriminatory 1032 ruling and provided direction to our Conference Board of Ordained Ministry to prepare the present and future clergy of our Conference to welcome ALL people as members of Christ's church upon baptism and profession of faith. I was thrilled to see all seven petitions passed on the floor of Annual Conference with super-majority votes ranging from 87-97%.

In addition to the LGBTQ Inclusion petitions, we also passed petitions to support Comprehensive Immigration Reform and the end of discriminatory laws like those in the state of Arizona, to advance the peace process and normalization of relations in Korea, and the divestment of the Conference from companies that enable the continued occupation of Palestine and inhibit the peace process in Israel - Palestine. The passage of all these pieces reflects, in my opinion, the increased need and importance for us to work together in solidarity across lines of difference and across issues and populations. We never have to be alone in our efforts, and the more we work together, the more we will learn about one another, see the humanity of each other, and glorify God through our work and collaboration.

I am proud to be a lay member of Northern Illinois. We are a diverse annual conference, one that is progressive and conservative (whatever those terms mean anyway); urban, rural, and suburban; a people of immigrants; hearty Mid-westerners and transplants from the whole of Creation. We are a conference steeped in a tradition of social justice and welcome and were the first Annual Conference to declare itself a "Reconciling Annual Conference" back in the mid-1980s. We're also the home of the national office of RMN.

Yet, despite all of this history going for us, not many congregations in our Conference have become Reconciling - with a few exceptions - since the early 2000s. One might say that there is a level of complacency in Northern Illinois, one rooted in a belief that we are already a welcoming people, that "we've made it," and there's nothing left that we need to do.

By the grace of God, this is beginning to change! Since our Believe Out Loud training this spring, reconciling and non-reconciling congregations across Northern Illinois are engaged in Believe Out Loud events, exposing more and more people to one another's personal stories of Truth and the all-inclusive Gospel of Jesus Christ. We have more congregations reaching out to one other to learn and grow from each others experience. More than any legislation we could have and did pass this year, this is the work that is changing our church for the better. This is the work that will help us be the all-inclusive, inviting, welcoming, equipping, empowering, disciple-making, and world transforming Church that we are called to be.

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David E Braden was born, raised, baptized, and confirmed in the United Methodist Church and grew up in Northbrook, IL. When he left home for college, David also left the Church for three years because he did not feel welcome in the Church as an out gay man. However, after a deeply spiritual pilgrimage in Spain in 2003, David felt called by God back to the Church where he found Holy Covenant UMC in Chicago. He has felt welcome there to live fully as a child of God and is convicted by Christ's call to make disciples for the transformation of the world.

In 2007, David was elected as the first out, gay delegate to serve as an Alternate Lay Delegate to Jurisdictional Conference by the Northern Illinois Annual Conference. He is a graduate of the University of Chicago with his Masters in Social Work, lives on the Northside of Chicago, and works in the development office of a local nonprofit.

Annual Conference Update: West North Carolina

by Josh Noblitt

It was a major breakthrough to have the RMN service published in the official conference calendar and to have over 100 people in attendance including 4 district superintendents and others from the cabinet and administrative office of the conference. Unfortunately in an ugly parliamentary maneuver, all five of the inclusive petitions that were submitted were tabled in the opening business session and never were brought back off the table. They caught us by surprise on that one. Lesson learned for next year.

Putting the Lie Behind Us

by Peter L. DeGroote

As usual, Baltimore-Washington Area Reconciling United Methodists (BWARM) had proposed a resolution for Annual Conference. For the first time the opposition responded—with four.

Past debates over BWARM resolutions had been somewhere between crude and vulgar. LGBT folks were routinely characterized as sinners, predators, and worse, blighting the reputation of Annual Conference as a place where differences can be debated in harmony with God’s grace.

Despite the nastiness, BWARM was on a winning streak. It's resolution for each of the past three years had passed. In that light, the multiple resolutions from those who oppose changes in the Discipline seemed a shotgun attempt to pass at least one of their own rather than continue their losing streak. It also promised a debating circus. One lay delegate actually resigned in fear of the pain of those debates.

An alternative was found. Through the work of many, and several starts and stops, a motion was offered to table all of the resolutions concerning LGBT matters. Instead, we would have a panel discussion with three people who want to change the Discipline and three who do not. There were procedural hurtles but the motion passed overwhelmingly. A request from Conference youth to add one of their members was granted.

The motion set the panel’s discussion around two questions:

1. How can we as the church most effectively offer ministry and pastoral support to and for our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender sisters and brothers?

2. How can we as a connectional church relate to and work with each other as the body of Christ given our disagreements over this issue?

After 45 minutes of the panel discussion* we formed into small groups by turning our chairs so that we could discuss what we had heard and thought.

I felt quiet joy and a sense of accomplishment for all those people who, over many years, had helped us get this far. It was difficult to believe I was sitting in a hotel ballroom filled with United Methodists respectfully sharing and listening to each other’s views about the way the Discipline treats LGBT people.  The group I sat with had differences but spoke no harshness. Others reported a similar experience in their groups and of a general feeling that we had all learned from each other.

Something momentous had happened. An Annual Conference had overwhelmingly voted to transform a previously contentious and often hateful debate into a holy conversation in which God’s grace was apparent to all. In doing so it formally acknowledged that there are differences of opinion among us and that it is time to find a way for us to listen to and learn from each other. The intention to find a way forward, expressed in a formal Conference action, is foundational for the future.

I recalled the unwillingness of the last General Conference to do the same. Despite the evidence of a constantly growing number of Reconciling Congregations, years of proposed legislation, demonstrations on and off the floor (some with arrests), and the urging of many prominent UM leaders, the last General Conference refused to pass a resolution simply acknowledging that “Faithful, thoughtful people who have grappled with this issue deeply disagree with one another; yet all seek a faithful witness.” **

To be polite, the General Conference looked a little foolish. To be more accurate, the majority told a lie. For those of us in the Baltimore-Washington Conference the evidence was clear:

 

1. We remain a people of different minds about the treatment of LGBT people in the Discipline.
2. By acknowledging our differences we were able to come together in holy conversation to learn from each other.
3. All were able to join in the closing affirmation offered by our Bishop that we are all members of one body despite our differing views.

We found a way to put the lie behind us. Maybe the next General Conference can do the same.

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*For the Conference news report and a commentary on the event see Pages 2 and 7 of this link:   http://www.bwcumc.org/files/umc_pdf_files/UMC_June16_web.pdf

**For the report on the General Conference action see
http://www.umc.org/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=lwL4KnN1LtH&b=3082929&ct=5315905&notoc=1

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Peter is a second career pastor who has served in several churches in the Baltimore-Washington Conference. Prior to his ordination, he was a secondary-school teacher, a university lecturer in Government, an Associate in a government related professional association, CEO of a national financial institution. Peter was involved in Mid-Atlantic Affirmation, served on the National Council of Affirmation, and sat on the Board of the Reconciling Congregations Program, the predecessor name for RMN and has worked with BWARM (Baltimore-Washington Reconciling United Methodists).