Reconciling Ministries Network

Pain from Equality

The title may be a little confusing to some. You may be thinking what pain is there in equality, so let me explain. In my city, Washington, DC, the city council will be voting on marriage equality for the District very soon. It is our belief is that this will pass and we are also hopeful that it will be accepted by Congress (as we are the only city subject to have our laws reviewed by Congress). We know there will be celebration when this does happen but then there will also most likely be pain. See here is DC we are up to six reconciling congregations inside the city and I had not thought about this possible pain until just recently.

Here is the problem. We as reconciling United Methodist are known for our accepting and welcoming attitudes towards LGBT people. If DC marriage equality passes sad days may follow for the reconciling congregations here. The problem is how to react when LGBT couples show up asking to get married at our church. They have heard that reconciling means we are accepting of all people, but sadly they will have to be turned away. See the United Methodist Church bans us from having any service celebrating the union of LGBT people in our churches. The United Methodist Church has also banned our pastors from performing these ceremonies with past punishment being the loss of ordination. So when LGBT people show up at out churches, and they will show up, we will have to turn them away because of policies we see as wrong. Now the hard part is these couples will not understand that, they will only hear that they are once again being rejected by the church and that they have no place in the church. Once again we are turning away those turning to the church. Once again the United Methodist Church will cause pain instead of bringing the love of God. How do you think Jesus would feel about that? The Jesus I know does not turn people away but rather embraces them and loves them right where they are.

Pray for the pain that will come from equality and pray that equality will come to the United Methodist Church.

A Reconciling Prayer of/for Thanksgiving

by Leland Spencer

We give thanks, O God, for the cornucopia of this season,
For its many colors, its many vegetables, its many fruits (!),
For the plenty it represents, and for the fullness and wholeness you give.

We give thanks, O God, for the cornucopia of this movement,
For its many congregations, communities, and campus ministries,
For the richness of reconciling conversations and reconciling relationships.

We give thanks O God, for the cornucopia of opportunity,
For all that lies behind and all that lies ahead,
For the diversity of gifts among us, and the diversity of the challenges that face us.

We give thanks O God, for Your cornucopia of presence,
For strength to help us endure,
For grace that is sufficient for all things.

Amen.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

by Violet Fenn

Redistributed from Reconciling Ministries FlashNet

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Today, many memorial services will be held around the world to remember the lives of men and women that were killed because of they were transgendered. As of November 11th, eighty-eight (11 in the U.S) beautiful children of God are no longer with us because of hatred and bigotry at its worst.

I am a transwoman. Though I have never been a victim of a violent attack, I have experienced bigotry. In June, I was asked not to return to the Sunday school class I was part of at the UMC church I was a member of. Most of the members of the class knew me before I began my gender transition and promised their support. Needless to say, when I was asked not to come back, I was shocked and hurt. Not only that, I was baffled that a church professes “Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors” could deny one of its members the fellowship of others simply because of gender identity. I was told that had I been a gay man or a lesbian, there wouldn’t have been any issues.

Unfortunately, situations similar to this are far too common within the Methodist Church. The UMC has no doubt lost many members that are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer and has lost many who are our allies simply because of discrimination.

I did not give up on the UMC; I truly believe that it can be fully open and inclusive. Last year, a step in the right direction was made when a resolution against homophobia and heterosexism was passed by the 2008 General Conference. One section in particular rings out: “THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that The United Methodist Church strengthen its advocacy of the eradication of sexism by opposing all forms of violence or discrimination based on gender, gender identity, sexual practice or sexual orientation.” How do we as United Methodists put this into practice? By practicing openness and authenticity.

We practice openness when we live unashamed of our gender identity or sexual orientation. We practice openness when we tell others that as straight allies we love and are welcoming to our LGBT brothers and sisters. We practice openness when we proclaim that violence and discrimination towards the LGBT community is wrong.

We practice authenticity when we put those words and thoughts into action.

On this day, I also remember the incredible contributions that many in the trans community have made. In my own journey, UMC minister Rev. David Weekley and Dr. Laura Arrowsmith, the leader of the transgender support group I attend, have made a huge and positive impact.

While I grieve for the fallen, I also grieve the exclusion of transgendered men and women in the Church. When we are fully inclusive, we honor Christ’s intention for the Church and repent of the sin of exclusion. By authentically practicing inclusion, we keep hope alive, honor the memory of the fallen and honor the world’s amazing diversity.

Street Theatre Challenges Pastoral Leadership

by Peter L. DeGroote

Self-appointed “messengers” of God recently tried to get arrested by demonstrating in front of the Justice Department in Washington. Their goal was to use their arrest to challenge the protection of glbt from hate crimes by way of the 1st Amendment guarantee of free speech. (They see the law as a threat to their hate mongering.)

First, a summary: I am relying on the reporting of Dana Milbank writing in the Washington Post on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 under the title The Messengers of God can’t get arrested in this town. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/16/AR2009111603248.html)

Act 1: The “messengers” proclaimed such things as:

• Rev. Paul Blair: Anything other than sex "between a male and his wedded wife, is a perversion, and the Bible says that homosexuality is in fact an abomination."

• “Rev. Rick Scarborough, quoting Scripture, listed ‘homosexual offenders’ along with thieves, drunkards, swindlers and idolaters as those unwelcome in the kingdom of God. To fail to call homosexuals to repent of their sin and come to Jesus is the highest form of cowardice and sin."

• Rev. Jim Garlow: "Had people listened to our plea, there would be tens of thousands of people who had not died of a dreaded disease. This breaks our heart to see people die of AIDS."

Act 2: Milbank then notes that their “prayers were not answered. Nobody was arrested, which wasn't surprising: To run afoul of the new law, you need to ‘plan or prepare for an act of physical violence’ or ‘incite an imminent act of physical violence.’"

Act 3: Then the street theatre got interesting (again quoting from Milbank’s article):

• Instead of getting arrested, the ministers got something else: “A couple of dozen gay activists, surrounding them with rainbow flags and signs announcing ‘Gaga for Gay Rights’ and ‘I Am a Love Warrior.’ By the end, the gay rights activists had taken over the lectern and the sound system and were holding their own news conference denouncing the ministers.”

• Chuck Fazio, from DC Podiums “was hired by the religious conservatives to provide the sound system for the event, but upon learning of their cause, he decided to donate his proceeds to the gay rights activists and to give them a chance at the microphone before shutting down the amplifiers.”

Postscript: It seems like fun all around but I am troubled: 

• A reader gets the impression that these self-proclaimed “messengers” represent Christianity and the Church.

• I don’t know what reporter Dana Milbank knows about the deep divisions in the church over glbt issues but I do know that if we do not show up at these kinds of events we have only ourselves to blame if our views are not reported.

• The failure of any clergy to demonstrate a different perspective reinforces the views of those young people who claim that the church is a source of oppression.

• I didn’t know about it in advance. I’m retired but still closely connected to the reconciling activities of Foundry UMC. We know a lot of what’s going on. Still, we never heard about this. Had I known, I would have donned a collar, made a sign, called a few others, and gone. Our information systems need work.

While this event occurred in Washington, similar events take place in many communities. To one degree or another, my troubled thoughts apply to those events as well. However, not to be lost are the underlying challenges to pastoral leadership that need to be thought out.

Bishops seek younger membership by 2019

By Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell

(United Methodist News Service headline, November 5, 2009)

 At the age of 76 and as a 3rd generation Methodist/United Methodist, I like many others, am pleased that our United Methodist Bishops have expressed this commitment. My family tells me that my mind sometimes makes "peculiar" connections. When I read the story with the above title, I thought of President Ronald Reagan's often-quoted words; "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall". Reagan's comments about the Berlin Wall have been remembered as we observe the anniversary of the fall of that wall.
 
One of the ways the Bishops and all of us could reach out to younger membership is for us to begin the process now of "bringing down" words and legislation in our Book of Discipline related to our statement in the Social Principles; "The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching." It is time for us to acknowledge that our words and legislation on homosexuality have been a "wall" separating "old United Methodism from what must become "new" United Methodism"
 
I have found an illustration in how we might begin to do this in what for some will be viewed as a strange place; The Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. In 1983, Missouri Synod Lutherans developed a resolution in response to the criticisms about the anti-Semitic statements in Volume 47 of Martin Luther Works - On the Jews and Their Lies.
 
They stated; "Resolved, That while, on the one hand, we are deeply indebted to Luther for his rediscovery of the Gospel, on the other hand, we deplore and disassociate ourselves from Luther's negative statements about the Jewish people, and by the same token, we deplore the use today of such sentiments to incite anti-Christian/and or anti-Lutheran sentiment;..."
 
It is difficult for us as individuals and as a denomination to admit that Biblically sanctioned words and actions of exclusion, separation and segregation of blacks and women, have now been rendered obsolete and represent superficial Biblical interpretation. General Conference legislation and Book of Discipline language, indicate we have moved from exclusion to inclusion of women and blacks. Younger United Methodists and potential United Methodists, will be watching and learning as we begin to delete words and legislation about Gay and Lesbian persons that have been demeaning and divisive stumbling blocks for so many for too many years.
 
Young people that I know and many of us who are not-so-young, have wondered why we have never consistently declared that sexism, racism, classism, militarism, etc when "practiced", are "incompatible with Christian teaching". Yet for years, we have allowed our language about the "incompatibility of homosexuality" to shape our negative and punitive legislation about LGBT persons and same gender couples. If we are serious about younger membership and much of the present less-than-young membership, we will allow the "new occasion" of the 21st century, to provide reason and rationale for "tearing down our walls."

Impartial, Compassionate God of All Lives

Adrienne Trevathan

Tune: St. Denio (same as "Immortal, Invisible God Only Wise")

Impartial, compassionate God of all lives,
In Christ you have shown us your love actualized,
Incarnate and weak in the arms of the poor,
Destroying all systems that keep closed the door.

Unholy, unjustified fear we incite,
When we shun our neighbors yet cling to our rights.
Your children still wander the streets left in pain,
We pass laws against them to prove our disdain.

Creator of beauty, we stand not in pride,
We do not assume you will stay on our side.
For yours is the sacred, untarnished by sin,
A refuge for outcasts that all may come in.

Our hope is your freedom for both great and small,
To strive for perfection and know all means all.
We challenge and question each law without grace,
Affirming the image of Christ on each face.

All honor we give you, O help us to see,
Your children are worthy to claim victory.
And so let our actions flow out of our praise,
To seek transformation, your kindom to raise.

The Cause of so much Pain...

By Joey Heath

This is a part of a conversation I have been having with friend who happens to believe that homosexuality is against God's will. After I wrote it to him I felt like it was something worth sharing with other cause I realized I had just poured my heart out to him. I would also like to note that out of respect for him these are only my words and nothing he has said.

For me I am simply told to be celibate and alone because I know I will never be attracted to women. I'm told because of that fact, I must turn my sexuality off. That is why I see it as so different. You are not being told to turn your sexuality off just channel it to a proper place. There is no option like that for me. I tried to turn it off and many people I know have as well, spending years trying to do just that only to meet with defeat. It cant be that they didn't try hard enough or believe enough because I know people who have done some really crazy things, I'm talking extreme measures, in the name of turning it off. Do you know what the result was? For me it was that so much of my life became consumed with staying focused on not allowing my attraction that it took over. My focus was not on God anymore and I saw it happening but felt powerless to do anything because I felt to only other option to fighting my "sinful desires" was to let them roam free. All this led to was depression and separation from God. I was a mild case. I have heard of so much worse, things like people attempting to cut off their own genitals because they felt like that was the source. Where is God in this pain that is experienced by so many of God's children? Since when was being obedient to God so painful all you want to do is die because you don't feel like you have the strength to even lean on Christ? Why would God allow such suffering in God's people who are only trying to be obedient?

Those are questions that are tough to answer. Those questions are why I do what I do and why I want to be a minister, so that I can help easy the pain and suffering of others. God is love not pain and suffering. I didn't originally intend to write this much but I hope it helps you see why i am so passionate about this. It has never been about my own sexuality. I would give it up in a heartbeat if I felt that was God's will. For me it is about the pain and suffering I see that I know God has called me to ease, and use that to bring hope and joy back to the LGBTQ people of faith and those who have wandered from their faith.

Maine and a Personal Concern About Heterosexism

By Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell

The Vote by a Majority of the Voters in Maine to prohibit Same Gender Marriage when "connected" to the 30 other states that have done something comparable, now means that 31 states have aligned themselves with the hetereosexist legislation of the United Methodist Church re; homosexuality and same gender couples.

                       A PERSONAL CONCERN ABOUT HETEROSEXISM
 
Whenever I encounter persons or institutions that in conversation or action, express attitudes of pre-judgment, prejudice, bias and bigotry toward homosexuality and homosexual persons, I wonder if I am in the presence also of unacknowledged and/or unresolved racism?
 
I do that because as an African American, I have experienced racism face-to-face and I know that despite the differences between the history and reality of racist and heterosexist words and actions, there are within each, threads of similarity.
 
But, there is a more personal reason. I realize that even though I have experienced racism first hand, that does not mean I have adequately dealt with the bits and pieces of racism within me. And, more importantly, I know that despite my years of activism to confront and conquer racism, I have not exorcised from my being, residuals of sexism, classism and anti-Semitism. The task of confronting the residuals of the above "isms" within ourselves and others, requires persistent and consistent prayer, reflection and action.  
 
A perusal of our United Methodist Book of Discipline suggests that directly/indirectly we have addressed the dangers of anti-Semitism, racism, and classism, but despite our language of the "sacred worth" of all persons, (including homosexuals), our negative assessment of "the practice of homosexuality" and the punishment imposed upon those who acknowledge that they do, reveals our heterosexism.
 
The vote in Maine when linked with similar actions in other states, ought suggest that the United Methodist Church ought begin now to prayerfully plan and act to reform and transform our current heterosexist words and legislation. The United Methodist Church in the 21st century has an opportunity to say that no longer will our legislation give direction, aid and comfort to Americans who believe that a vote of the majority has the right to limit the rights of those who are numerical minorities. When we do that, we will offer a "gift" to the USA that will not be forgotten!

The "Music" of Noah's Curse May Be Over, but the "Melody" Lingers On

Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell
 
One of the joys as well as challenges of "downsizing" as one attempts to settle into what will probably be his/her last home is to re-discover books that have been forgotten. "It" was in one of the boxes that had been set aside to be opened at a later date. When it was time to open that box, "It" peered out at me. "It" was NOAH'S CURSE, The Biblical Justification of American Slavery, Stephen R. Haynes, Oxford University Press, 2002.
 
Of course, finding the book prompted me to revisit those words in Genesis 9:24-27 that served as the Biblical justification for slavery and racial segregation: "When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him (Telling his brothers of Noah's nakedness) he said, 'Cursed be Canaan; lowest of slaves shall he be to his brothers.' He also said, 'Blessed by the Lord my God be Shem; and let Canaan be his slave. May God make space for Japheth, and let him live in the tents of Shem: and let Canaan be his slave.'"

Stephen R. Haynes in the Preface utilizes the thoughts in Ham and Japheth in America; The Mythic World of Whites in the Antebellum South, by Thomas V. Peterson to write; "Peterson defines myths as shared cultural symbols that uphold a social order. According to this definition, the story of Noah and his sons functioned mythically in the Old South inasmuch as the characters and actions it narrated symbolized Southern cultural beliefs, institutions and attitudes, successfully bringing together whites' racial stereotypes, political theories, religious beliefs and economic realities."

I suggest the melody of Noah's Curse has lingered because we have seen how First Timothy 2: 11,12 was and still is being used by some to deny ordination to women. And, Romans 1: 26, 27 is used by the United Methodist Church to say in our Book of Discipline, "The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching." (The Nurturing Community, 161 F, "Human Sexuality").

Who among us is able to explain how/why the use of the First Timothy passage to once deny women ordination in the Methodist Church and Romans 1 to deny ordination to same gender loving persons who affirm their relationship/commitment, does what "Noah's Curse" did to justify slavery and racial segregation?

And, how and for whom does Romans 1 symbolize, "cultural beliefs, institutions and attitudes  that bring together (sexual) stereotypes, political theories, religious beliefs and economic realities"?

If we could determine who among us has the need to make of the Romans 1 passage a Pauline Curse" to deny same gender loving persons a place of equality in the UMC, we might "turn a corner" that we should have turned years ago. Our failure to learn from our history of mis-use of Biblical passages is being passed on from generation to generation.

Why do I care so much? I care because having known mistreatment by the Church because of my race, I have been impatient with the mistreatment my Church has imposed on persons because of their gender and/or their sexual orientation. And, I do not want our 5 year old grand daughter who attends a United Methodist Church every Sunday with her parents, to grow up in a denomination that seems to need some group to "curse", year after year after year.

Opposing Homophobia and Heterosexism Resolution (#2043, 2008 BOR)

WHEREAS, homophobia is the discrimination of people perceived to be non-heterosexual, regardless of the victim’s actual sexual orientation or sexual identity; and,

WHEREAS, heterosexism is a self-justifying system of homophobia that:

1) perpetuates stereotypical categories of what is essentially “masculine” and what is essentially “feminine,”

2) provides a privileged status for people who identify as culturally defined heterosexuals, and

3) discriminates against persons who, regardless of their sexual orientation or sexual identity, do not appear to fit within the particular category defined as appropriate for their gender; and,

WHEREAS, actions rooted in homophobia and heterosexism, including violence, threats, ridicule, humiliation, discrimination, isolation, and rejection, is damaging to persons of all sexual orientations and identities,

WHEREAS, homophobia and heterosexism are manifestations of sexism in general in that they foster stereotypes based on arbitrary distinctions of gender categories,

WHEREAS, the United Methodist Church is committed to the eradication of sexism (#48, 2004 Book of Resolutions),

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that The United Methodist Church strengthen its advocacy of the eradication of sexism by opposing all forms of violence or discrimination based on gender, gender identity, sexual practice or sexual orientation.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the General Board of Church and Society provide resources and materials aimed at educating members of the local churches about the reality, issues, and effects of homophobia and heterosexism and the need for Christian witness against these facets of marginalization.

Adopted by the 2008 General Conference

This link takes you to the General Board of Church and Society Website and resources for combating homophobia and heterosexism. http://www.umc-gbcs.org/site/c.frLJK2PKLqF/b.5473163/k.911A/Homophobia_and_Heterosexism.htm

 Take a look and continue the struggle to make the world a better place for all people!