Reconciling Ministries Network

Why Stories Matter!

By Justin White

This semester I am taking a class on sexuality and the focus in the class is on homosexuality and the church. When we had our first class I was nervous about being in there. The issue is one that is so volatile and I wasn’t sure what people’s thought processes on the class were going to be and I went in not sure how the professors were going to approach the class. After the professors went over the syllabus and explained the class, one of the professors explained that all 40 or so of us in the room were going to “bring a person into the room” that we were thinking about at that moment. The rationale was that we are all in this class for a reason, and there had to be someone we were thinking of. In order to protect those in the class who identify as LGBTQ, and those who might be questioning their own sexuality, the story could be in third person (if someone was taking the class for themselves). However, Dean Wells really stressed that the person to bring into the room was someone who dealt with the issue of homosexuality that was not in the room. It was an amazing experience. Each person told a minute long story about someone they knew that was either lesbian, gay, affirming, non-affirming, yet was dealing with the issue, and all the stories were powerful. Some people wanted to bring someone into the room that reacted out of fear and hate to people who had come out to them. Some people wanted to bring into the room those they had shunned because of their sexual orientation. Others wanted to bring those into the room that had died of aids. Others wanted to bring into the room those who had been shunned and cast out of the church. It was a powerful 40 minutes.

In thinking about the whole sharing time, I am reminded of the young man I brought into the room. He is a friend of mine and I have seen him grow up. He has an amazing passion for God and is committed to his faith in a way that is rarely seen. Last year he “came out” to me after a pastor had spat out hate speech from a pulpit. The anguish, hurt, and pain in his eyes tore my heart apart. I literally could not sleep that night. The pain he shared with me was deep, but it was this pain that often times led him closer to Christ. Yes, it wasn’t always easy, and yes he’d questioned a lot of things, including his own life, but instead of running away from God, he ran into God’s loving arms, even when some in his Christian circle had told him that he could change or else he was in danger of going to Hell. So, I wanted to bring him into the room. I wanted him to know that there were faithful people who would love him and cherish him for who he is.

 

The other story that stuck out to me was that of one of my friends. In the midst of her tears, she told a story about her cousin. The earliest memory she had of him was at his funeral. He wasn’t someone that her family talked about that much. She had seen pictures of him growing up and asked her mom who he was and her mom told her that it was her cousin. It wasn’t until later in life that she was told that her cousin had died of aids. It wasn’t something the family talked about. At the end of her story she said, “I wish I would have known him, because I would have loved him.” This is my friend’s reflection on why she brought her cousin into the room. “I thought about the question and thought about who I could 'bring into the room.' Who was I there for? Sure there were a lot of people that had influenced my decision on the course. But it was when I realized that I was there for the person that I knew the least, knew less than my friends, less than my sisters, it was when I realized that it was for Ronnie, that I cried." 

 

She wasn’t the only person who was moved by tears in class. Many of us were. As we brought all of these people into the room, there was an overwhelming sense of the Holy Spirit. We were listening to people’s stories. We were listening to stories of joys and pains and insecurities and fears. We were listening to each other. The Triune God dwells in the midst of narrative. God dwells between each of us as we tell our stories. In class, I felt the incarnational God that radically dwells in the world as the stories were told. I knew that God was present. What if this is what we did in our churches? What if we actually took time to listen to each other? What if we truly listened to people’s stories before we got defensive? What if we invoked those into our rooms that are excluded? What if we invoked into our churches those that we exclude? What if we not only invoked them in stories, but actually allowed them to come into our churches to share their stories? Some are not ready to hear the stories of God’s beautiful children, but some are. I pray that we would become a people, a church, a community that took the time to listen to stories of not only LGBTQ persons, but to all those people that we exclude from our midst. I pray that we become a church that allows our radically incarnational God to manifest herself in our presence. If we did, the church would be different and our communities would be different. So, let us listen to each other’s stories. Let us listen to the stories of those who are excluded. Let us encounter the radically incarnational God that calls us to live lives that are radically incarnational in a broken and hurting world, and hopefully we will be transformed by her radical and abundant grace.

"All Means All" --A Bridge Too Far?

By Peter L. DeGroote

The “All Means All” campaign was in support of an amendment to the UMC Constitution that sought to advance the Church's declaration that all persons are of sacred worth. It would have done so replacing the words without regard to race, color, national origin, status or economic condition with the word all. (See the "Background Summary" at the extended entry, below.)   

As of this writing it is unlikely to survive the amendment process. Hindsight suggests that may not be so bad.

The necessary 2/3 vote fell short in the Conference of which I am a member (Baltimore-Washington).  After the vote an African-American woman who is supportive of reconciling activities told me why she had voted against it.

She spoke of the long history of racism in the church. She recalled her mother’s joy when the new constitution of the UMC included without regard to race. She believes that the subsequent progress of African-Americans in the church grew out of that legal prohibition of racism. But she also pointed out that racism isn’t over and she was unwilling to risk anything slipping away. My response was a respectful silence.

Since then, I have concluded that if I had been in that woman’s shoes I would have done the same. It is clear we are not living in a post-racial society or church.

I also dislike hiding history. In the United States we celebrate the Declaration of Independence's proclamation that all men are created equal. At the time, it was more ideology to encourage revolutionary fervor than reality. Much of our national history can be seen as a journey to make that equality more of a reality.

Some prefer to write our history as a victorious and universally positive experience. Thankfully, there is a record of Constitutional amendments, laws, court decisions, etc that are keys to understanding the real story and remind us of how easily it would be to fall back into former ways of thinking and behaving. 

Similarly, the language without regard to race, color, national origin, status or economic condition in the UMC Constitution represents prohibitions made necessary by the church’s journey to make its declaration that all persons are of sacred worth more of a reality. 

The current rules that facilitate the abuse and oppression of LGBT people are also part of that history. Progress in the church is similar to progress in society. Once we come to honor and respect people we once abused and oppressed, we write a law or rule that protects them. Our history is found in the record of those changes; the proposed substitution risks losing some of that record. 

Many prefer to tell the church’s story in an always positive light. Recently we are hearing church leaders speak of “love of the church,” a Roman Catholic defensive tool that is clearly not in the Methodist tradition. Keeping our history alive and informed is as important as keeping our recollection of the Myth of the Garden alive. Both help to remind us of the mixture of good and evil in our human nature and institutions. We need to identify both if we are to have any light at all.

Other Sheep Kenya Holds Seminar in Nairobi

By John Makokha

Other Sheep Kenya held a seminar in a Nairobi hotel on August 22, 2009 called “Religion and Sexuality in an African Cultural Context.”  The 25 participants were drawn from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) community as well as Parents, Friends of Lesbian and Gay (PFLAG).

The participants came from diverse religious backgrounds and organization such as the United Methodist Church, Baptist church, Anglicans, Kenya Assemblies of God, Catholic Church, Metropolitan Community Church, Nairobi Pentecostal Church, Apostolic Church, Redeemed Gospel Church, Islam, Changing Attitude, Reconciling Ministries Network, Ishtar MSM, Daystar University and the United States International University (USIU).

Rev. Henry Mayor (Retired Anglican minister from UK) and director of Changing Attitude said that he came to Kenya to help the Anglican Church discuss homosexuality. He facilitated on Changing Attitude: The European Experience of LGBTI ministry.  He had raised funds to train 40 Anglican clergy in the Bondo diocese in Kenya:  “This is a big step since a journey of a thousand miles start with a single step.”  Changing Attitude is linking up with Anglican groups around the world to officially accept LGBTI people in the Anglican Church.

Mayor said that there are people who say being gay is not African, but a western import.  Said Mayor, “Our organization is devoted to changing the attitude of the Anglican Church towards homosexuals.”  He believes his calling is from God: “There is no human being who is normal except Jesus Christ”.

He said that homosexuality has caused the great sin of dividing Christianity. Christians should love all people without discrimination based on sexual orientation.  The Christian community must change their attitude and be positive about LGBTI persons:  Stated Mayor, “Bishop Gene Robinson is such a wonderful Christian."

Rev. Michael Kimindu (MCC/Anglican minister and Other Sheep East Africa Coordinator) said that there are people whom the clergy and laity do not accept in the church such as divorcees, homosexuals, people living with AIDS, polygamists and alcoholics: “These are the other sheep.”

Kimindu said that sexual orientation is not an issue that is to be fought but accepted. Religious leaders should serve God by serving the vulnerable, including LGBTI persons. The gospel is not about hate but about repentance, reconciliation and renewal. Jesus did not die so that our sexual orientation can change, but our hearts.  As Mayor poignantly stated, “Hatred and isolation do not constitute the grace of God and Christ’s mind is love”.

Mayor continued that there are thousands of LGBTI persons who think God hates them. The message from Other Sheep is that God loves you.

Rev. John Makokha (United Methodist minister and Other Sheep Kenya Coordinator) said that most LGBTI persons who grapple with their sexual orientation have abandoned the church in Kenya: “You cannot worship God in a church where everyone is breathing homophobia.”

Scientific research has shown that sexual orientation is not a religious issue but a biological issue.

Makokha explained that Riruta United Methodist Church has officially moved out of the East Africa Annual Conference due to homophobia, isolation and rejection by the leadership.  Riruta UMC is the only reconciling church in Africa and it is now seeking to align itself to other annual conference/church outside Africa that shares its vision and mission of inclusiveness and love of Christ for all people.

Anne Baraza (Other Sheep Advisory Counselor and Riruta United Methodist Women President) said that LGBTI persons are a minority in Kenyan society and their needs are unlikely to be a burden to their clergy or congregation: “Sexual orientation is not chosen but intrinsic”.

Mrs. Baraza said that many LGBTI have traveled a difficult road due to depression, stigma and isolation perpetrated by the religious community: “I have had clients who have testified that they have visited charismatic conservative evangelical clergy to cast out demons/witchcraft of homosexuality to no avail.”  As Christians, we should be concerned with looking below the surface to the real person.

She told the clergy to attend to the LGBTI as they would to any other children of God for whom Christ died. The LGBTI community should not be judged, rejected or condemned, since they have experienced much pain and hurt already.  Baraza stated that “some have sought suicide as a way out.”  The clergy were advised to be there for the LGBTI community in the name of the Lord and help them walk on their journey of faith.

She advised the LGBTI community to not create room for heterosexuals to attack them: “You cannot hate homosexuals without understanding them. Start mingling with heterosexuals and when opportunity allows bring up the topic of homosexuality. Try to correct them where they are misinformed or under informed about homosexuals. This is one sure way of breaking the ice existing between the two.”

Peter Wanyama ( Anglican/Other Sheep Kenya Treasurer) said that some of the challenges facing the LGBTI community in Kenya include access to health care, high HIV/AIDS infection rates, self stigmatization, religious bias, security threats and lack of legal representation on homosexual related cases.

The participants recommended more seminars, especially for PFLAG, and counseling to address issues affecting them and their children.  The issue on HIV/AIDS came up, and the participants noted that homosexuals are at a higher risk of being infected, so it should be given serious attention. Capacity building programs should be put in place to address issues affecting them.

This seminar was a success due to the grant acquired from UHAI-EASHRI (East Africa Sexual and Health Rights Initiative).

Justice and Joy: Continued Hope

By Joey Heath

I just got home from convocation and I wanted to go ahead and write while everything is still fresh on my mind. What an amazing weekend. It is always great to gather with so many other reconciling United Methodist together in one place. The title says how I feel. I feel like this was a much needed boost of hope for the future of the United Methodist Church.

You know Anytime RMN gathers it always amazes me the diversity that exists there. We had everyone from people well past retirement to small children. We had every race, every gender identity, and every sexual orientation represented. One of the most amazing moments to me was when one of the speakers asked all of the straight allies present to stand and what seemed like half the audience stood up. This is truly amazing because in most LGBTQ organizations you have mostly LGBTQ people with a few allies, but not with RMN. With RMN, have an amazing group of straight allies who love and support the many LGBTQ people that are in our church.

So what did I walk away from convocation with? Well for one thing I walked away knowing that we have a lot more work to do. We have to hit the streets and talk to everyone. The more we share our stories with others the more we will see change. For all those that fear change will never have happen just look at what has happened in the past year. In the past year we have tripled the number of states that offer full equal marriage to LGBTQ people and that is with the loss of California. We have seen the Episcopal Church stand up and say they welcome all people into the full life of the church including the call to ordained ministry. We have seen the Evangelical Lutheran Church make the statement that LGBTQ are also welcomed to ordained. We also saw the Presbyterian Church (PCUSA) vote to remove their incompatibility clause and narrowly defeat a resolution that would have allowed for the ordination of LGBTQ persons. Change is possible and will happen for us if we are willing to do the work to show people the true lives and faith of LGBTQ people.

Now it is our turn. As one of the largest denominations in the world it is time for us to stand up for the equality of all people. It is time to show God's love to all God's beloved children, especially to those that have been neglected or worse pushed out of church in the name of God. It is time to recognize and bless all loving relationships. It is time for us to allow all who are called by God into God's service to be ordained and appointed. It is time for us to stop calling people incompatible with Christian teachings. It is time for us to stand up and say that all are truly welcome in God's family and our churches and all means absolutely all.

I leave you with this question. Are you ready to stand up?

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 5)

By Leland Spencer

As a wrap-up for my convocation notes, I want to close with the lyrics of the theme song for the weekend. I invite you to read these lyrics (or sing them) as a prayer for yourself and/or whatever collective body you feel appropriate.

For everyone born, a place at the table, for everyone born, clean water and bread;
a shelter, a space, a safe place for growing, for everyone born, a star overhead.

Refrain: And God will delight when we are creators of justice and joy, compassion and peace:
yes God will delight when we are creators of justice, justice and joy.

For woman and man, a place at the table, revising the roles, deciding the share;
with wisdom and grace dividing the power, for woman and man, a system that's fair.

For young and for old, a place at the table, a voice to be heard, a part in the song;
the hands of a child in hands that are wrinkled, for young and for old, a right to belong.

For gay and for straight, a place at the table, transgender and queer in one single tree,
engaging each gift and blessing each covenant, for a gay and for straight, a new way to be.

For everyone born, a place at the table, to live without fear, and simply to be,
to work, to speak out, to witness and worship, for everyone born, the right to be free.

Amen!

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 4)

By Leland Spencer

After a 2-hour ride to the Denver airport, a 3-hour flight to Atlanta, and a 90-minute ride to Athens, I made it back to Georgia in time for class. The convocation was a wonderful experience, and it's always good to be in such esteemed company. Thanks to everyone who made it fantastic. Here are my notes from Sunday (my editorial comments are parenthetical, as always).

Bible Study by the Rev. Dr. Elaine Heath (This one aims to explore how we can become an answer to Jesus' prayer. I'm not sure if this session was less organized than the previous ones or if my note-taking is just a little more scattered, but here's what I have. There are still some gems in this one!)

• Love takes us in directions that fear cannot, and Jesus invites us into a dance of abundant, self-giving love.
• The word ecstasy means to go out from a static position. When we are in a loving relationship with God, we want to go out of ourselves for the people we love. That is Jesus' prayer for us.
• In a broken world filled with evil, we are called to an irrational love, and love is going to have the last word in our lives.
• Jesus is praying that we will Good News the world! (This is not a typo. She used Good News as a verb, which I think is rather wonderful!)
• To become the answer to Jesus' prayer means living a life of outrageous generosity. We must love the hell out of people!
• We don't need special permission to form community. That's part of the promise into which we've been baptized.

Sermon by Bishop Grant Hagiya (I didn't hear the whole sermon because I had to leave to catch the noon shuttle, so these notes are just from the portion I heard.)

• LGBT clergy often find they have to sacrifice integrity or safety/prudence.
• Our cultural model of courage is unreal; rushing into a situation blindly is dangerous and unsafe (just as coming out to everyone you meet is unsafe).
• The consequences of backing down are worse than the fight. Sometimes, fear is something we create for ourselves. (Okay, I'll grant that thinking, "Oh no, I can't go in the gay section at Borders because the bishop might walk in right as I pick up a book on coming out or finding Mr. Right" is a fear that might be somewhat irrational, but blaming the person for her/his fears isn't entirely fair when being honest and open about living in a loving, committed relationship is punishable with the same denominational disciplinary measures as child abuse and embezzlement of church funds.)
• If you cannot be good at what you're doing, you must have the confidence to do it badly.
• Courage emerges out of the strength of our character. In the midst of our fears, we can stand as authentic children of God.
• Our sexual orientation has nothing to do with our character, and if the church doesn't know that, it's the church's problem, not God's. So, be true to yourself and believe who you are! (When this line came out, it sounded inspirational, but the more I thought about it, the more contradictory I decided it was. The bishop simultaneously told us to be ourselves AND suggested that we might have to be careful/prudent about how we do it, especially for clergy who are might have their credentials revoked. The net sum of the sermon's advice, then, seems to be, "Come out and be authentic, unless you're a pastor who wants to keep your credentials. Then, you probably shouldn't come out, but God still loves you." I'm editorializing here, but the sermon felt disingenuous to me. If the consequences of backing down are worse than the struggle, what constitutes backing down? Is the person who decides to live out her/his call in different ways in order to live openly backing down from the call to ordained ministry, or is the person who enters pastoral ministry and remains closeted backing down from living openly as an LGBTQ person? If someone else who heard the rest of the sermon has a way to redeem this point for me, please let me know.)
• Courage is not the opposite of fear but having the integrity to go forward despite our fear. (Okay, this line I really liked. Amen! I was super sad that I had to leave before communion and a final chance to sing "For Everyone Born" in the gathered community of Reconcilers.)

Stay tuned for a few overall thoughts and reactions in the next few days!

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 3)

By Leland Spencer

Sunday was a great day at convocation. In some ways, blogging about an experience that is so relational-emotional-spiritual is difficult because I can't capture things like exciting dinner conversations or the glory of the moonlight sky with patchy clouds behind gorgeous mountains. I can at least share the ways in which sessions are inspirational and educational, so I invite you to consider my notes (and comments) from yesterday's worship and Bible study.

Sermon by the Rev. Dr. Eunice Musa Iliya

• Until you've been a victim of injustice, it's hard to know what it feels like.
• The time has come to come together and talk about our sexuality as a gift of God.
• How do we make a difference? By seeing God in other people--by seeing God in all people!
• Jesus commands us to love one another! It's not a choice, but a command. Love is more than a word; it's an action and an attitude. (Very true, and Dr. Iliya really lives this out! Though hard to explain in a way that does her story justice, she shared with us how she challenged close-minded attitudes at a leadership training event in her conference, eventually getting silenced by her bishop. What great courage!)

Bible Study by the Rev. Dr. Elaine Heath

• When Jesus called God "Father," Jesus was not being a patriarchal bigot. Instead, Jesus was using intimate language in a time when people did not speak the name of God. (I appreciate this perspective, though I think worship leaders and preachers and Sunday school teachers today should employ a variety of images across and beyond gender in order not to limit anyone's understanding of God.)
• To be a baptized Christian is to be a part of a resistance movement.
• When we give our lives up to God, God fills us with who we truly are; therein, God gives us the fullness of joy and abundant life.
• Today's question to answer: What is Jesus praying for me (as an individual) in this prayer? The answer can be remembered as five words (one word for each finger on a hand if memory devices help, moving from the pinkie to the thumb).
• 1. Home: Jesus prays that we will find a home in God's love. Home is a place to feel loved and secure.
• 2. Protection: Jesus says Jesus will protect our hearts as we adjust to living in two words--the earthly world and the spiritual realm--and that eventually those will fuse into one world. (I'm not sure if this makes any sense. I got a little lost on her explanation of this one, so it's probably a little over my head. If anyone wants to leave a clarifying comment, I'd appreciate it.)
• 3. Belonging: Jesus doesn't want us to believe lies, especially lies that religious communities teach people to believe about themselves and God. Instead, we are invited to belong fully to God and to engage in God's mission.
• 4. Dance: God's love is like a joyful dance that causes creation to come into being. We co-create with God, and justice comes out of our love.
• 5. Adventure: Jesus wants us to be with Jesus where Jesus is. That means we have to go to others--to reach out to the least of these.
• When we live this way--by the words on all five fingers--we become God's hand of blessing in the world.
• AND, this nugget from Q&A: Being a part of a resistance movement is like a vampire story. In vampire stories, if you try to kill a vampire, the vampire might bite you first and turn you into one. Likewise, if we resist evil with evil, we multiply evil in the world. Instead, we must (as Paul says) resist evil with good.

Finally, I want to say just a few words about the evening program. RMN is 25 years old (I was born in the same year as the reconciling movement. Isn't that neat?). There was a great celebration of the history of the movement, including photos and videos. I'm not sure if that presentation will be available online, but it's worth a watch if it is. Congratulations to the award winners! Finally, I want to say something I've said before, but I think the Parents Reconciling Network is amazing. PRN is my argument for the introduction of sainthood into the United Methodist Church. Thank you, parents, for your profound witness, your prophetic voices, your tireless effort, and most of all, your deep love.

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 2)

By Leland Spencer

Today was fabulous, of course. Below are my notes (and comments) from worship and Bible study.

Sermon by the Rev. Drew Phoenix

• The path toward wholeness begins with a question: Who am I? This is a big question to live into!
• God says I am who I am! How can we possibly put I am who I am into binaries like male-female, natural-unnatural, compatible-incompatible? (Yes, Yes, Yes! Amen!)
• Many are not ready to live the questions, but for those who are, we are all about telling and hearing our stories.
• If you can become, then we can become. We will become who we can become, together the beloved community!

Bible Study by the Rev. Dr. Elaine Heath (from the East Ohio Conference!)

• John 17 is the longest recorded prayer of Jesus, so we should ask three questions about it: (1) What/who is the world?, (2) What is God's relationship with the world?, (3) How do we become the answer to Jesus' prayer? (Today's study focused on just the first question.)
• "The world" is mentioned 18 times in John 17. It comes from the Greek word "cosmos," which we sometimes take to mean everything in the created order.
• "The world" can also mean fallen humanity; think of the negative valence for the adjective "worldly," but worldly is really about religious people's crucifying God. (Amen!)
• "The world" is also the place into which Jesus was born and where Jesus sends us to be sanctified.
• In sanctification, God recreates the world in ever more powerful ways than ever before. (I wish I had her exact quotation here, but this one is worth chewing on for a while. So often, I think of sanctification as a part of an individual's faith journey, but what does it mean to think of the world as sanctified by God?)
• What if we accepted theological diversity and focused our energy on common spiritual practices?
• Jesus was willing to do everything to make things right for the cosmos, so we need to become icons, the face of love in the world.
• The world will not be convinced of the Gospel by a bunch of books but by God's transforming our lives individually and in community. The hardest part of this is laying down our hatchets and swords because a violent response is like poison.

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 1)

By Leland Spencer

Greetings from beautiful Estes Park, Colorado. I'm thrilled to be at my second Reconciling Ministries Network Convocation. When I left the convocation in Nashville in 2007, I remarked that I had just had a glimpse at the church as it is truly called to be. I am happy to report that I can echo those sentiments again two years later. I think of the words of hymnist and poet Lesbia Scott:

They lived not only in ages past;
there are hundreds of thousands still.
The world is bright with the joyous saints
who love to do Jesus' will. (UMH, #712)

Indeed, I am surrounded by saints, and it's a good place to be. The opening worship was fantastic. Here are my notes with occasional parenthetical editorializing:

Sermon by Vincent Cervantes

• We can think of convocation as a family celebration of community and love where all are invited.
• According to Jesus, the kin(g)dom of God is like a party where everyone is invited, but in the parable, the guests are rude and offer excuses about why they can't come.
• Instead of sitting at home and sulking because of the guests' rejecting the invitation, the host extends the invitation to everyone, including the outcast, the outsiders, and "those incompatibles." (This last phrase especially resonated with the assembled crowd, and it was later included in the communion invitation as well. The co-optation of the "incompatible with Christian teaching" clause is a common trope in reconciling rhetoric, but Vincent made it a noun. This strategy is particularly effective in exemplifying and simultaneously critiquing the ways that Disciplinary language objectifies and dehumanizes the very people it otherwise describes as individuals of sacred worth. That's a lot of power for one carefully made word choice, and I hope it catches.)
• Even though the invitation goes to everyone, there are always some people making excuses and trying to keep others from the table.
• We need to make sure we aren't the ones closing the door or making excuses. The time is now to act; "send out those invitations!" (What a powerful, powerful way to open our time together!)

(Highly Homiletic) Episcopal Greeting from Bishop Elaine J.W. Stanovsky

Bishop Stanovsky greeted us by explaining that a colleague once told her the issue of sexuality and the church was not his issue. She responded by saying, "You don't get to pick your issues." The bishop reminded us that John Wesley founded the church in the age of empiricism and introduced the idea of experience as a tool for deciding questions of faith. Adding experience to scripture, tradition, and reason (already codified by Aquinas) resulted in what we now call the Wesley quadrilateral.  Empiricism asks us to read our own lives and recognize where God is at work. The bishop reminded us to think of the persons who have come before us in this movement, and she closed with these words: "God is in partnership with you, transforming the world!" (Amen, and amen! I am so thankful for a prophetic and unashamed bishop! May more like her make their voices heard!)

A Dry Well

By Katy Krumbach

Ps 6:2-3

Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am languishing;

O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled.

My soul also is sorely troubled.

But thou, O LORD - how long?  (RSV)

 

   Like the psalmist, we can believe that God loves us, that God is present in our life, and that God is gracious and caring toward us, and yet, when we are in the darkness and void we cry out: ‘O LORD, how long?’ Most people of faith have thought or cried out this question in the midst of despair.

 

   For those crying out in the night, the question can, in itself, raise doubts:

Ø  ‘Is my faith real? solid? or is my crying out a sign of unwillingness- a weakness of faith?’

Ø  ‘Just how quickly am I willing to return to MY strengths, MY resources, MY self when the going gets tough?’ Do I really trust God?

Ø  ‘What would this moment look like if I were faithful and trusted God?’

 

   When our two oldest children were 8 and 9, they loved to wander in the 600 acres  of woods behind our house. One evening, as it was getting dark, we realized they were not back yet and our anxiety level rapidly grew. My husband and I tore out of the house- into the woods- and began calling “Alex!  Audrey!” And then, we called, “Audrey! Alex!”  It became so dark the flashlights we brought needed to be turned on. The darkness ate up the light so that we could see our next step, but no more.

   “Alex! Audrey! - - - Audrey! Alex!” Into the darkness we cried- then we heard a faint cry: “Mom! Dad!”  It still took about 10 minutes for us to be hugging and crying together.  The walk back to house was a retelling, a collective shedding of the stress as we shared our experiences and feelings. In the years which followed, the kids learned more woods-skills and were never lost again. I thought this was a growing-up experience of outdoor skills.

   Years later, Audrey asked me if I remembered this day. Oh yeah- like I could ever forget it. Then she added: “You know mom, what I learned that day was more than not getting lost in the woods. I learned that I could trust you. I learned how far you would go for me (for you see, that is the night I threw down the crutches I had been on for weeks and decided to get past the pain.)  I learned I could trust you. Later, when I was in high school and college, and we argued – when I was determined you were wrong, I always remembered that night and listened to you although I did not agree with you- I would give you the benefit of the doubt. I trusted you because I knew you were trust-worthy.”

 

Moments of doubts can be opportunities to remember:

Remember HOW and WHEN  God loves you- not just that God loves you;

Remember HOW and WHEN  God’s presence was real- not just that it is;

Remember ‘this is my body broken for you . . . this is my blood poured out for you.’

 

In our moments of despair when we cry out, “How long, oh God?” we can remember our relationship with God based on experience- we can be sure that God is the source of love, strength and peace because of our past. We can be sure that this moment, too, will become another memory upon which we can build our trust in God.