Devotion: Where Brother Will Love Brother

Matt 26:36-40 (NRSV)

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane; and he said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and agitated. Then he said to them, ‘I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me.’ And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.’ Then he came to the disciples and found them sleeping; and he said to Peter, ‘So, could you not stay awake with me one hour?

Matthew, with few words, describes for us the struggles, grief, and disappointment of Jesus in the garden as he prays, seeking permission to skip this part of his life, his ministry. For years I understood this passage as Christ wanting to avoid what he knew would be embarrassing, difficult and painful. I understood this passage through my own life experiences: simply, when I did not want to do something, I looked for a way to avoid it. When my mother developed Alzheimer’s, I agonized with her over the loss of independence, then memory and finally her very identity and self. While I continued to love her, care for her, support her, and assist her, I too prayed: Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. This was a difficult time and I too wished to pass the cup. I thought I was simply doing as Christ did.

Then, last summer I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A small cancer, an early cancer, an easily treated cancer. Early in my treatment, I reread this passage and I saw a new possibility. Christ was not agonizing over the difficulty of the task; Christ was not dreading the pain or embarrassment as I had always thought. Christ loved his disciples, Christ loved his work and ministry and being with the crowds and maybe, just maybe, Christ was agonizing over the thought of having to leave all those whom he loved. Facing the loss of both life and those relationships I treasured, I too fell to my knees and prayed: “Oh God, if it is possible, may this be taken from me.” The gift of life, love, community, relationships and sharing became very precious.

“For God so loved the world. . .” How can we begin to imagine the depth of God’s love as it is shared in Christ Jesus? I had a glimmer- a glimpse- of God’s deep and abiding love for all people as I watched Jesus agonizing in the garden- not in fear and dread but with cutting pain by the realization that he was to leave his precious brothers and sisters.

We now see only in part- but with each precious gift of experience, understanding, and clarity, I am drawn more deeply into the Kingdom where the Lion will lie down with lamb, and where brother will love brother. The love of God, fully experienced, does indeed bring new hope and truth into each day, and each life.

May you too know God’s love, fully and completely and may it bring you the sweetness of life and love.

Katy Krumbach is a pastor in the North Georgia Annual Conference getting her D.Min. in Spirituality and Leadership.