Reconciling Ministries Network

Fear

By Egeria

Today I shared a meal with two UMC preachers who are trying to navigate riptides of fear within their congregations. They had disagreed with each other about voting for the "All Means All" amendment, and they both disagree with me about what I see as a positive roll for Reconciling United Methodists advocating for full inclusion of LGBTQ persons. Both have welcomed gay and lesbian couples and baptized their children; both hear from members who fear this will lead to lots of gay couples joining (Read that as "too many.") Our meal was a first effort to discuss our visions of local churches and the global UMC in a small, friendly, but disagreeing group.

What came up repeatedly was the fear that some congregants feel toward people who are different: immigrants, ex-offenders, LGBT, students, poor people, people of other races, people wearing rainbow stoles. Some members might acknowledge that churches must care for such people but say "I can't talk to them" or "I won't feel at home here if there are too many of them."  These two pastors wanted to address the fears expressed by these members. At the same time, both pastors held a vision of the church as being for all people, with a message that is needed just as much by people who see themselves as the in crowd as by those who want to hear a clear welcome.

Now, this sort of fear can work in the other direction too. I have felt out of place in groups where everyone appeared to be considerably more prosperous than I am. I have been the only white woman at some black church services, where the other worshipers have been extremely gracious; but I have also heard from a black friend whom I first met in such a situation that she had felt suspicious toward me at first. At the RMN Convocation a non-Methodist gay activist asked his gay friends "What are all these straight people doing here?"

We have been told "Fear not." How do we do that?

A Month of Sundays

By Rev. David Weekley

It has only been a month of Sundays since I attended Reconciling Ministries' Convocation,"Justice and Joy". It was an inspirational and literal mountain-top experience. I am thankful to every person who made this event possible. Just to be there, in community, was more than enough. To be honored by receiving the "Voice in the Wilderness" award for telling my story as a transgender clergy was an incredible honor. Returning home from this peak experience has been something like a rollercoaster.

A most vivid memory of mine is an amusement park rollercoaster. It was the corkscrew variety and climbed very high before the first steep drop. Strapped into my seat with a padded harness, I could barely move, but I could distinctly hear the 'click', 'click' of the drive-system moving us closer and closer to the pinnacle. Although I knew it was impossible I did utter a prayer to be removed from that ride. Then we were over the top and on our way. I closed my eyes a lot, and held on; there was nothing else to do. I admit, there have been moments, whole days in fact, when life felt exactly like those initial moments on that rollercoast. Like the rollercoaster ride, there was no getting off once I got on. These last four weeks have carried me, my family, and my community into a new space. This part of the journey is just beginning.

Like the rollercoaster, after the initial terror, sharing my story has been and remains an amazing experience. It is still so new I can barely express myself yet in words. But there is one wonderful result so far in this new part of the story. Over this month of Sundays, from the morning I first shared my transgender identity with my congregation I have received emails, letters, cards and other affirmations, prayer-support, and encouragement from all over the United States, and world. Most inspiring and joyful for me are the number of persons contacting me sharing their stories and sharing hope. In one situation a mother who watched the CBS interview wrote to tell me she was stuggling with her young-adult child's transition, but had found new understanding and resources from the interview. Hours later I received an email from that adult child, telling me their mother had changed her attitude and had some fears dispelled from that brief segment. To date I have received more than three hundred emails and cards. I have been able to refer many people to resources in their communities. These contacts displace any rollercoaster fears with deep gratitude and joy. All of these blessings, and it has only been a month of Sundays!   

Justice and Joy: Continued Hope

By Joey Heath

I just got home from convocation and I wanted to go ahead and write while everything is still fresh on my mind. What an amazing weekend. It is always great to gather with so many other reconciling United Methodist together in one place. The title says how I feel. I feel like this was a much needed boost of hope for the future of the United Methodist Church.

You know Anytime RMN gathers it always amazes me the diversity that exists there. We had everyone from people well past retirement to small children. We had every race, every gender identity, and every sexual orientation represented. One of the most amazing moments to me was when one of the speakers asked all of the straight allies present to stand and what seemed like half the audience stood up. This is truly amazing because in most LGBTQ organizations you have mostly LGBTQ people with a few allies, but not with RMN. With RMN, have an amazing group of straight allies who love and support the many LGBTQ people that are in our church.

So what did I walk away from convocation with? Well for one thing I walked away knowing that we have a lot more work to do. We have to hit the streets and talk to everyone. The more we share our stories with others the more we will see change. For all those that fear change will never have happen just look at what has happened in the past year. In the past year we have tripled the number of states that offer full equal marriage to LGBTQ people and that is with the loss of California. We have seen the Episcopal Church stand up and say they welcome all people into the full life of the church including the call to ordained ministry. We have seen the Evangelical Lutheran Church make the statement that LGBTQ are also welcomed to ordained. We also saw the Presbyterian Church (PCUSA) vote to remove their incompatibility clause and narrowly defeat a resolution that would have allowed for the ordination of LGBTQ persons. Change is possible and will happen for us if we are willing to do the work to show people the true lives and faith of LGBTQ people.

Now it is our turn. As one of the largest denominations in the world it is time for us to stand up for the equality of all people. It is time to show God's love to all God's beloved children, especially to those that have been neglected or worse pushed out of church in the name of God. It is time to recognize and bless all loving relationships. It is time for us to allow all who are called by God into God's service to be ordained and appointed. It is time for us to stop calling people incompatible with Christian teachings. It is time for us to stand up and say that all are truly welcome in God's family and our churches and all means absolutely all.

I leave you with this question. Are you ready to stand up?

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 5)

By Leland Spencer

As a wrap-up for my convocation notes, I want to close with the lyrics of the theme song for the weekend. I invite you to read these lyrics (or sing them) as a prayer for yourself and/or whatever collective body you feel appropriate.

For everyone born, a place at the table, for everyone born, clean water and bread;
a shelter, a space, a safe place for growing, for everyone born, a star overhead.

Refrain: And God will delight when we are creators of justice and joy, compassion and peace:
yes God will delight when we are creators of justice, justice and joy.

For woman and man, a place at the table, revising the roles, deciding the share;
with wisdom and grace dividing the power, for woman and man, a system that's fair.

For young and for old, a place at the table, a voice to be heard, a part in the song;
the hands of a child in hands that are wrinkled, for young and for old, a right to belong.

For gay and for straight, a place at the table, transgender and queer in one single tree,
engaging each gift and blessing each covenant, for a gay and for straight, a new way to be.

For everyone born, a place at the table, to live without fear, and simply to be,
to work, to speak out, to witness and worship, for everyone born, the right to be free.

Amen!

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 4)

By Leland Spencer

After a 2-hour ride to the Denver airport, a 3-hour flight to Atlanta, and a 90-minute ride to Athens, I made it back to Georgia in time for class. The convocation was a wonderful experience, and it's always good to be in such esteemed company. Thanks to everyone who made it fantastic. Here are my notes from Sunday (my editorial comments are parenthetical, as always).

Bible Study by the Rev. Dr. Elaine Heath (This one aims to explore how we can become an answer to Jesus' prayer. I'm not sure if this session was less organized than the previous ones or if my note-taking is just a little more scattered, but here's what I have. There are still some gems in this one!)

• Love takes us in directions that fear cannot, and Jesus invites us into a dance of abundant, self-giving love.
• The word ecstasy means to go out from a static position. When we are in a loving relationship with God, we want to go out of ourselves for the people we love. That is Jesus' prayer for us.
• In a broken world filled with evil, we are called to an irrational love, and love is going to have the last word in our lives.
• Jesus is praying that we will Good News the world! (This is not a typo. She used Good News as a verb, which I think is rather wonderful!)
• To become the answer to Jesus' prayer means living a life of outrageous generosity. We must love the hell out of people!
• We don't need special permission to form community. That's part of the promise into which we've been baptized.

Sermon by Bishop Grant Hagiya (I didn't hear the whole sermon because I had to leave to catch the noon shuttle, so these notes are just from the portion I heard.)

• LGBT clergy often find they have to sacrifice integrity or safety/prudence.
• Our cultural model of courage is unreal; rushing into a situation blindly is dangerous and unsafe (just as coming out to everyone you meet is unsafe).
• The consequences of backing down are worse than the fight. Sometimes, fear is something we create for ourselves. (Okay, I'll grant that thinking, "Oh no, I can't go in the gay section at Borders because the bishop might walk in right as I pick up a book on coming out or finding Mr. Right" is a fear that might be somewhat irrational, but blaming the person for her/his fears isn't entirely fair when being honest and open about living in a loving, committed relationship is punishable with the same denominational disciplinary measures as child abuse and embezzlement of church funds.)
• If you cannot be good at what you're doing, you must have the confidence to do it badly.
• Courage emerges out of the strength of our character. In the midst of our fears, we can stand as authentic children of God.
• Our sexual orientation has nothing to do with our character, and if the church doesn't know that, it's the church's problem, not God's. So, be true to yourself and believe who you are! (When this line came out, it sounded inspirational, but the more I thought about it, the more contradictory I decided it was. The bishop simultaneously told us to be ourselves AND suggested that we might have to be careful/prudent about how we do it, especially for clergy who are might have their credentials revoked. The net sum of the sermon's advice, then, seems to be, "Come out and be authentic, unless you're a pastor who wants to keep your credentials. Then, you probably shouldn't come out, but God still loves you." I'm editorializing here, but the sermon felt disingenuous to me. If the consequences of backing down are worse than the struggle, what constitutes backing down? Is the person who decides to live out her/his call in different ways in order to live openly backing down from the call to ordained ministry, or is the person who enters pastoral ministry and remains closeted backing down from living openly as an LGBTQ person? If someone else who heard the rest of the sermon has a way to redeem this point for me, please let me know.)
• Courage is not the opposite of fear but having the integrity to go forward despite our fear. (Okay, this line I really liked. Amen! I was super sad that I had to leave before communion and a final chance to sing "For Everyone Born" in the gathered community of Reconcilers.)

Stay tuned for a few overall thoughts and reactions in the next few days!

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 3)

By Leland Spencer

Sunday was a great day at convocation. In some ways, blogging about an experience that is so relational-emotional-spiritual is difficult because I can't capture things like exciting dinner conversations or the glory of the moonlight sky with patchy clouds behind gorgeous mountains. I can at least share the ways in which sessions are inspirational and educational, so I invite you to consider my notes (and comments) from yesterday's worship and Bible study.

Sermon by the Rev. Dr. Eunice Musa Iliya

• Until you've been a victim of injustice, it's hard to know what it feels like.
• The time has come to come together and talk about our sexuality as a gift of God.
• How do we make a difference? By seeing God in other people--by seeing God in all people!
• Jesus commands us to love one another! It's not a choice, but a command. Love is more than a word; it's an action and an attitude. (Very true, and Dr. Iliya really lives this out! Though hard to explain in a way that does her story justice, she shared with us how she challenged close-minded attitudes at a leadership training event in her conference, eventually getting silenced by her bishop. What great courage!)

Bible Study by the Rev. Dr. Elaine Heath

• When Jesus called God "Father," Jesus was not being a patriarchal bigot. Instead, Jesus was using intimate language in a time when people did not speak the name of God. (I appreciate this perspective, though I think worship leaders and preachers and Sunday school teachers today should employ a variety of images across and beyond gender in order not to limit anyone's understanding of God.)
• To be a baptized Christian is to be a part of a resistance movement.
• When we give our lives up to God, God fills us with who we truly are; therein, God gives us the fullness of joy and abundant life.
• Today's question to answer: What is Jesus praying for me (as an individual) in this prayer? The answer can be remembered as five words (one word for each finger on a hand if memory devices help, moving from the pinkie to the thumb).
• 1. Home: Jesus prays that we will find a home in God's love. Home is a place to feel loved and secure.
• 2. Protection: Jesus says Jesus will protect our hearts as we adjust to living in two words--the earthly world and the spiritual realm--and that eventually those will fuse into one world. (I'm not sure if this makes any sense. I got a little lost on her explanation of this one, so it's probably a little over my head. If anyone wants to leave a clarifying comment, I'd appreciate it.)
• 3. Belonging: Jesus doesn't want us to believe lies, especially lies that religious communities teach people to believe about themselves and God. Instead, we are invited to belong fully to God and to engage in God's mission.
• 4. Dance: God's love is like a joyful dance that causes creation to come into being. We co-create with God, and justice comes out of our love.
• 5. Adventure: Jesus wants us to be with Jesus where Jesus is. That means we have to go to others--to reach out to the least of these.
• When we live this way--by the words on all five fingers--we become God's hand of blessing in the world.
• AND, this nugget from Q&A: Being a part of a resistance movement is like a vampire story. In vampire stories, if you try to kill a vampire, the vampire might bite you first and turn you into one. Likewise, if we resist evil with evil, we multiply evil in the world. Instead, we must (as Paul says) resist evil with good.

Finally, I want to say just a few words about the evening program. RMN is 25 years old (I was born in the same year as the reconciling movement. Isn't that neat?). There was a great celebration of the history of the movement, including photos and videos. I'm not sure if that presentation will be available online, but it's worth a watch if it is. Congratulations to the award winners! Finally, I want to say something I've said before, but I think the Parents Reconciling Network is amazing. PRN is my argument for the introduction of sainthood into the United Methodist Church. Thank you, parents, for your profound witness, your prophetic voices, your tireless effort, and most of all, your deep love.

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 2)

By Leland Spencer

Today was fabulous, of course. Below are my notes (and comments) from worship and Bible study.

Sermon by the Rev. Drew Phoenix

• The path toward wholeness begins with a question: Who am I? This is a big question to live into!
• God says I am who I am! How can we possibly put I am who I am into binaries like male-female, natural-unnatural, compatible-incompatible? (Yes, Yes, Yes! Amen!)
• Many are not ready to live the questions, but for those who are, we are all about telling and hearing our stories.
• If you can become, then we can become. We will become who we can become, together the beloved community!

Bible Study by the Rev. Dr. Elaine Heath (from the East Ohio Conference!)

• John 17 is the longest recorded prayer of Jesus, so we should ask three questions about it: (1) What/who is the world?, (2) What is God's relationship with the world?, (3) How do we become the answer to Jesus' prayer? (Today's study focused on just the first question.)
• "The world" is mentioned 18 times in John 17. It comes from the Greek word "cosmos," which we sometimes take to mean everything in the created order.
• "The world" can also mean fallen humanity; think of the negative valence for the adjective "worldly," but worldly is really about religious people's crucifying God. (Amen!)
• "The world" is also the place into which Jesus was born and where Jesus sends us to be sanctified.
• In sanctification, God recreates the world in ever more powerful ways than ever before. (I wish I had her exact quotation here, but this one is worth chewing on for a while. So often, I think of sanctification as a part of an individual's faith journey, but what does it mean to think of the world as sanctified by God?)
• What if we accepted theological diversity and focused our energy on common spiritual practices?
• Jesus was willing to do everything to make things right for the cosmos, so we need to become icons, the face of love in the world.
• The world will not be convinced of the Gospel by a bunch of books but by God's transforming our lives individually and in community. The hardest part of this is laying down our hatchets and swords because a violent response is like poison.

RMN Convocation Recap (Part 1)

By Leland Spencer

Greetings from beautiful Estes Park, Colorado. I'm thrilled to be at my second Reconciling Ministries Network Convocation. When I left the convocation in Nashville in 2007, I remarked that I had just had a glimpse at the church as it is truly called to be. I am happy to report that I can echo those sentiments again two years later. I think of the words of hymnist and poet Lesbia Scott:

They lived not only in ages past;
there are hundreds of thousands still.
The world is bright with the joyous saints
who love to do Jesus' will. (UMH, #712)

Indeed, I am surrounded by saints, and it's a good place to be. The opening worship was fantastic. Here are my notes with occasional parenthetical editorializing:

Sermon by Vincent Cervantes

• We can think of convocation as a family celebration of community and love where all are invited.
• According to Jesus, the kin(g)dom of God is like a party where everyone is invited, but in the parable, the guests are rude and offer excuses about why they can't come.
• Instead of sitting at home and sulking because of the guests' rejecting the invitation, the host extends the invitation to everyone, including the outcast, the outsiders, and "those incompatibles." (This last phrase especially resonated with the assembled crowd, and it was later included in the communion invitation as well. The co-optation of the "incompatible with Christian teaching" clause is a common trope in reconciling rhetoric, but Vincent made it a noun. This strategy is particularly effective in exemplifying and simultaneously critiquing the ways that Disciplinary language objectifies and dehumanizes the very people it otherwise describes as individuals of sacred worth. That's a lot of power for one carefully made word choice, and I hope it catches.)
• Even though the invitation goes to everyone, there are always some people making excuses and trying to keep others from the table.
• We need to make sure we aren't the ones closing the door or making excuses. The time is now to act; "send out those invitations!" (What a powerful, powerful way to open our time together!)

(Highly Homiletic) Episcopal Greeting from Bishop Elaine J.W. Stanovsky

Bishop Stanovsky greeted us by explaining that a colleague once told her the issue of sexuality and the church was not his issue. She responded by saying, "You don't get to pick your issues." The bishop reminded us that John Wesley founded the church in the age of empiricism and introduced the idea of experience as a tool for deciding questions of faith. Adding experience to scripture, tradition, and reason (already codified by Aquinas) resulted in what we now call the Wesley quadrilateral.  Empiricism asks us to read our own lives and recognize where God is at work. The bishop reminded us to think of the persons who have come before us in this movement, and she closed with these words: "God is in partnership with you, transforming the world!" (Amen, and amen! I am so thankful for a prophetic and unashamed bishop! May more like her make their voices heard!)