Reconciling Ministries Network

Give to Caesar

By Jayson Dobney

The other night I had dinner with a close friend who is in the ordination process.  She is preparing for a meeting with her Board of Ordained Ministry and shared with me her struggles with taking the vows necessary to become ordained.  Her struggle, as I have heard from others in the ordination track, is how she can take these vows, while at the same time remaining authentic to her own faith and her role to seek justice for all of God's people. 

As I sat with her and talked about her call, cried with her about the injustice of the United Methodist Church, and talked with her about the various interpretations of the language of the vows, I freely admit that it was hard for me to completely understand the struggle.  I have not been called to ordained ministry and I do not understand why a person would try and justify their own understanding of clearly written words.   

Much less difficult, I transferred my own membership to a new congregation in the City where I now live.  I saw those vows as being to the local church and in a way, I saw my choice as a gay man to join a UM church as an act of Civil Disobedience.  In a way, I was standing with other GLBT people who had been denied membership in local UM churches. 

As we talked about what it meant to stay in the United Methodist church and take different paths, it reminded me of the story in the Gospels where Jesus is confronted with the question about whether his followers should pay taxes to the Roman government.  Implicit in the question, is that by paying taxes, they were participating in the unjust actions of the institution of the state.  His response was to Give to Caesar what was Ceasar's and to give to God what was God's.       

As a gay man, I see the United Methodist church as another unjust institution.  These vows that we are compelled to take to be a member or to become ordained are the price we must pay to be a part of this system.  It is the tax.  We give to the United Methodist Church that which is of the United Methodist Church - empty, hollow words.  At the same time, we give to God our hearts and our lives, including our work that requires us to work within the unjust sytem of the United Methodist church so that someday we will have justice for All People.   

An Opportunity to Move From Dissonance to Harmony

By Rev. Gilbert H. Caldwell

The Judicial Council has ruled that the "structural" changes for the denomination that emerged from the 2008 General Conference must first, "harmonize...content with the rest of the Book of Discipline". They ruled, new legislation is necessary.

My sisters and brothers in Christ, on matters of gender, race and sexual orientation, historically General Conference legislation has placed in the Book of Discipline language "out of harmony" with our professed view that "all persons are of sacred worth".  We came to understand that on matters of gender and race. Now is the  time for us to understand that and act in new ways on matters of sexual orientation!

A dictionary definition of dissonance is; "An inharmonious combination of sounds, discord. Any lack of harmony or agreement."

For most of my 75 years as a Methodist/United Methodist, our denomination has been "out of harmony" with the spirit of inclusivity  that is writ large in Scripture and in our Book of Discipline. While Scripture and much of the Discipline proclaimed equality and justice,  we passed legislation that relegated women and blacks to secondary status. We changed that vis-a-vis women and blacks as General Conference enacted, new equality/justice legislation. It is past time for us to do that on matters of sexual orientation and same gender commitments.

I am not a gifted singer or musician, but I "know" dissonance and the absence of harmony when I hear, read and see it in action. I think most United Methodists are now weary of our denomination being "out of harmony" in response to some of our most gifted and committed members. The 2012 General Conference will bring about change, and we must now begin to act, knowing that "a new day is a 'coming".

Raise your Voice

By Darrius Hills

Food for thought...

Let a woman learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent. (1 Timothy 2:11-12, NRSV)

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in the right hand. (Proverbs 27:15-16, NRSV)

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a contentious wife. (Proverbs 20:9, NRSV)

Well…from the ancient Biblical writings to the present, at least one thing is certain: we men have a hard time accepting women with minds of their own, or with LOUD, booming voices! The voluminous voices of autonomous women—proves threatening to a society of men so used to being entitled to a ‘global speakerphone’—how dare women encroach upon our space—how dare women take up our "airtime"! :)

A few weeks ago, I was listening to The Temptations Anthology while I was working out—one of my favorite songs--“Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,” graced my headphones. The song resonated with my sentiments as of late—albeit with a slight twist: what would happen if men weren’t too proud to listen to the voices of women. What would the world look like if men decided to destroy the seats of authority we have unscrupulously created for ourselves? What if the mute button was pressed on the male voice, and the volume was increased for the female voice? I wonder…I wonder…

In any formal debate a facilitator gives each party a specific amount of time to state their piece—then it becomes the other party’s turn. Within the discourses between men and women, however, there simply has not been sufficient time given, or more to the point, ALLOWED for the female perspective(s)/voice(s). Here, I do not say “allow” in the sense that women need permission to raise their voices, but rather, to demonstrate that womens’ voices have been muted. Women’s vocal cords have been silenced due to patriarchal asphyxiation.

I am reminded of a statement I recall Dr. Bedford making in my Feminist Theology class my first year. Men pride themselves on being on the ‘center stage’ (public sphere)—because we deem it our space (I use “our” in an individualized sense; men often fight other men for that space lol). Because it is “our” space, we easily become threatened and our egos take a hit when the “other” enters the space demanding equal time! I’m not altogether sure that I should parallel public/private sphere discourses to a formal debate, but just for a moment, I’d like to use that example to further clarify my point. Earlier, I stated that a facilitator allowed each “party” to offer their perspectives. Historically, male voices and male presences have served as pseudo-facilitators—I say “pseudo” because it is a role that we have falsely and forcefully ascribed to ourselves. Who then, is the authentic facilitator?

The Holy Spirit is the facilitator.

It was the Spirit who ignited the voice of Susan B. Anthony to speak out on behalf of the suffragist movement. It was the Spirit who moved Sojourner Truth to ask boldly, “Ain’t I a woman?” at the 1851 Women’s Convention. It is within these examples (and so many more) that I find hope. It is my hope—my prayer—my belief that we have entered/are entering a time when the Spirit is raising and cultivating the voices of women who will commit themselves to a society—a world unbound by social conventions—unchained by gender roles—a truly egalitarian model of living.

It’s funny, over the summer I was watching home videos of myself as an infant/preschooler, etc. I was a timid, quiet toddler (this characteristic is still apt), and whenever we’d visit friends/relatives, Mom would always tell me to raise my voice—to speak up. Well, Mom—today, I say I can’t really speak up in the way you were hoping.

Tis’ time for me to shut up :)

What would be possible?

By Ann Thompson Cook

When congregations consider extending welcome to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, many fears pop out. People say, “But we’re already welcoming! Why do we need to single out LGBT people?” 

Often, underneath that question are deeper concerns:
• We might become a gay church!
• What if this divides the church?
• People might leave (and take their money with them)!
• What would it say to the children?

These fears are real and can often be addressed directly through sharing and education, but I’ve found that some people stay stuck in these voiced and unvoiced concerns. Even people who are leading the inquiry can get stuck in the concerns of other members of the congregation.

When I’ve been with groups that I sense are stuck, I ask them this question:
What would become available—what would be possible—if you became a welcoming congregation?

Usually, a few people say “Huh? What do you mean?” I simply repeat my question,
What would become available—what would be possible—if you became a welcoming congregation?
and invite them to have it mean whatever it means to them. Then we go around the circle, allowing each person time to give one answer.

Following are some of the many responses I’ve heard:

If we declared ourselves as welcoming, we would…
• More fully manifest the teachings of the church and have greater integrity as Christians;
• Become open to everyone being themselves;
• Make our church safe for everyone;
• Attract interesting new members, including youth and young adults;
• Become a magnet for individuals and families of all kinds who want to be part of a welcoming community;
• Open the door to greater acceptance of ourselves as sexual beings;
• Develop a deeper compassion and love (face our prejudices and grow, learn to experience the humanness of others, come to a deeper understanding that we’re all the same).

Surely there are many more answers to my question, but it doesn’t really matter if they’re all covered.  Just sharing their vision with each other inspires the whole group. 

And, as you know, sometimes being inspired is what gives us courage to move through our fears and concerns.

God, Sex & Church

By David E Braden

So my church is big into small groups. It's our "new" (i.e. very old tradition) way of creating a culture of Christian accountability through life-sharing groups, play groups, study groups, etc. I happen to be co-facilitating a small group of about nine people with the illustrious Audrey Krumbach on "God, Sex & Church."

I remember going through confirmation class in junior high and my ol' church actually spending several weeks going through a Christian sex ed curriculum as part of our confirmation training. This class was my first introduction to Song of Solomon aka Song of Songs. If y'all haven't read this most suggestive and graphic of books in the Bible, I highly recommend it. But I digress …

The small group Audrey and I co-facilitate has been absolutely wonderful. We wanted to lead a group that would explore what exactly the Bible might have to say about sex, question what God seems to want from us in romantic and sexual relationships, what our Methodist tradition has to say about sex, current policy and doctrine on sexuality and queer folk, etc.

What has been most invigorating for me, strangely enough, has been the Bible study. It’s been a long time since I’ve read the Bible with such excitement. And being real and honest, it’s been a while since I’ve actually cracked open the Bible …

What I love most about this small group is just listening to my siblings in Christ about their reactions to the numerous Bible passages about sex and their own exegesis. Whether it’s Jacob and his wives, the Samaritan woman at the Well, or the horrific rape and murder of the Levite’s concubine, my small group has great things to say! It makes me want to chisel through the chains of our Puritan society and embrace our God-given gift of sexuality - to recognize how powerful sex is and the inherent ways it affects our lives and being. For me, sex is something to be taken seriously and with great reverence. This Bible studyin’ small group has been so life-giving in that respect. I thank and praise God for reawakening my hunger for the Bible. Amen!

Song of Solomon 4:1-5,7

1How beautiful you are, my love,
   how very beautiful!
Your eyes are doves
   behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats,
   moving down the slopes of Gilead.
2Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes
   that have come up from the washing,
all of which bear twins,
   and not one among them is bereaved.
3Your lips are like a crimson thread,
   and your mouth is lovely.
Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
   behind your veil.
4Your neck is like the tower of David,
   built in courses;
on it hang a thousand bucklers,
   all of them shields of warriors.
5Your two breasts are like two fawns,
   twins of a gazelle,
   that feed among the lilies.
7You are altogether beautiful, my love;
   there is no flaw in you.

WHY?

By Peter L. DeGroote

As I approach retirement my thoughts increasingly turn to the seemingly compulsive effort of the UM Church to shore up and expand its membership. Why? To what end?

It is customary, but not universal, for an organization’s members to want it to expand. I can testify that most pastors long for a larger congregation, although I am not always sure of our motives. Bishop's motives are complex but they have all vowed to preserve and advance the institution of the church, which becomes a primary goal for them and a primary measure of their career success.* It is all very worldly and the follower of Jesus has to ask why.

The great heroes of Jewish scripture are the prophets who challenged the preservers of their religious institutions. Jesus was certainly a major threat to the religious institutions of his day. We can add numerous reformers from Christian history to the list—as well as a number who were burned at the stake or were otherwise dispensed with. And we cannot forget John Wesley. His approach was peaceful; he organized around the establishment.

In “Absent Gifts,” a recent post to this blog, Darius Hills lamented the loss of many promising people to the UMC because of its exclusive policies. (Yes, one is either exclusive or inclusive, no middle road.) That squares with my experience. The church I serve is adjacent to The George Washington University. A sentiment I have heard from students is no less meaningful by being a quote from elsewhere: “If you don’t want my friends you don’t want me.”

In another post on this blog Tina Seitz (“What Does Religion Teach Us”) connects the cause/effect relationship between the church's devaluation of GLBT folks and violence. By way of comments to that post, Pastor Keith McIlwain tried to deny the connection. The events at recent political rallies should offer sufficient evidence that the words of leaders can give a license to hate. It is not enough to say “that is not what I meant.” One has to be responsible for the consequences of one’s actions, which includes one’s words.

Going further, Antony Hebblethwaite reports words about the church from a friend who once attempted suicide: The authority to ruin my life and cause me to live in fear of God and man – to deny my basic humanity – and to learn to hate myself. Antony – I almost killed myself!! God damn it – how can I possibly affirm a faith who’s basic nature would push me to take my life. My faith in Christ requires a denial of my basic value as a human being.

So, I add to my question: Why should one support the expansion of such an institution? I’ll keep thinking.

*It is instructive to read the “Examination” section of the Consecration Service for Bishops.The Book of Worship, Page 702.

Living Tomorrow Today- Extraordinary Ordination

By Becca Clark

There are times when you fight for all you’re worth to make change happen. There are times when you bang your head against the wall until it hurts. There are times when you nurse your wounds and pray for strength to pick up the struggle another day.

And then there are the times when you ignore the status quo, ignore the lack of progress, ignore the laundry list of what separates the now from the should-be and could-be and must-be, and you act as if we were already living as the community of radical, inclusive love we are called to be.

That’s what I did on Sunday, with about 300 other people.

We gathered in Baltimore in Mount Vernon Place United Methodist Church, a place steeped in United Methodist history, and just about a mile from the church where the first Conference of the American Methodists was held. We sang new songs and spoke original liturgy. We heard the prophetic words of Jesus and Isaiah (read through tears), that the Spirit of the Lord declares good news to the poor, recovery of sight for the blind, liberation for the captives, and the year of the Lord, and heard the preacher, Rev. Dr. Traci West echo Christ in her sermon, proclaiming that “today, this scripture is fulfilled in our hearing.” Rev. Dr. West reminded us that in the beginning of the Methodist movement, a group of people gathered together, and “just decided that they would BE the church,” and that we stood on their shoulders as we too gathered, and decided.

And so we did.

Two retired United Methodist bishops, sponsors, partners, family members, friends, and members of the assembled congregation came forward and laid hands upon two women who had been denied ordination previously. We ordained them.

The ordination was truly extraordinary, in that it was outside the rules of the UMC, and in that the women ordained were themselves most extraordinary.

The Rev. Jenna Zirbel had her candidacy process terminated in her conference, despite the unanimous support of her district committee, because of her support for the full inclusion of glbt persons and other marginalized people. The Rev. Annie Britton, who is a dear friend of mine and a classmate, and one of the most perfectly loving, pastoral people I’ve met, was removed from both her church and her candidacy when she shared with her congregation that she and her wife Terry were legally married in Massachusetts.

Jenna seems like a lovely woman, and a grace-filled pastor, and I don’t want her to be a footnote, but I was there, with my friend M, for Annie. As the candidates were asked a variation of the historic questions before us, I couldn’t take my eyes off her, how her chin trembled and her eyes shone with tears as she responded to each question. When they asked the congregation to respond, I looked straight into her eyes and practically yelled, “Let us ordain them!” When they called us forward, I bulldozed a line through the crowd, and M and I placed our hands on Annie’s back, alongside those of her parents and her wife and her sponsor, and with Bishop Susan Morrison (another one of the most wonderful and gifted and inspiring women I am blessed to call a colleague), spoke words of ordination.

As she and Jenna consecrated communion, Annie’s face was alight with joy. Had she been the leader of a rag-tag band of refugees fleeing Egypt, they’d have made her veil her face; she shone with the presence of the living God, the love of God radiating from her pores.

Of course, part of her shimmer may have been the tears in my eyes as well.

Moments like that make me proud to be a Methodist, and a pastor, and call myself a Christian. I have, in moments like those, hope that the Spirit of inclusion, a spirit I see as fully Biblical and fully blessed, will eventually win out. I believe in those moments that the arc of history, as Rev. Dr. King reminds us, is long but bends toward justice.

What the reaction will be in the days and weeks ahead is beyond me. Will these ordinations be ignored? Will they be repealed? Will they be grudgingly accepted (I doubt that latter)? Will those involved be sanctioned or slapped on their proverbial wrists, or celebrated as visionaries? These are the questions, when we stand at moments that define change, moments when folks refuse to look back or count the odds, but instead live as if the vision were already realized, live tomorrow today.

For the Victims of Ass-Whippings

By Dr. Pamela Lightsey

At a recent McCain campaign event, a Black conservative Republican, James T. Harris, who by the way is a Wisconsin radio talk show host made his entrance into sound-bite history.  Standing before Sen. McCain, with microphone in hand, Mr. Harris uttered this truth,"I doubt there's anyone in this room that's taking the - pardon me - the ass-whipping that I have taken for supporting you..." The crowd rose to give him a standing ovation.  For the most part, his opening statement and his presence in a crowd where African Americans are scarcely seen, drew both my respect and attention. Indeed, the African American community is rather hard on its Republican skin-folk. 

Though I take issue with much of the Republican platform, I don't begrudge Mr. Harris' political resolve. There is something about the voice of the marginalized declaring independence of thought that resonates with me. Maybe it's because as an African American fighting for the rights of LGBT within the church and especially within the Black community, I know a little something about taking an "ass-whipping." 

But unlike Mr. Harris, I have always taken my licks without grovelling.  Ending his remarks against Sen. Obama, Mr. Harris pleads with Sen. McCain, "I am begging you sir, I am begging you, take it to him."  Well, for all his arguments that African Americans are used by the Democratic party, Mr. Harris - who was reportedly hand-picked from the line waiting to get into the event and ushered to one of the best seats in the hall - was the poster child for racial profiling Republican style.

There was just something extremely wrong with that picture.  What was wrong was not what many have taken issue with: how dare a black man "beg" any white man given our history of oppression at the hands of white Americans?  Rather, what is most difficult about this picture is his willingness to debase himself before a man whose record on civil rights is deplorable.

Persons whose principles won't allow them to remain quiet in the face of injustice and oppression have a responsibility to consistently pick our battles wisely. If an ass-whipping is in the waiting, it's best we make sure we know who's really swinging the belt. Ouch!

Equality Riders arrested at Heritage Christian University

By Heather Murphy

More arrests today from the Equality Riders.  This time, it was the administration of Heritage Christian University that prosecuted young GLBT people for trespassing when three of them arrived at the Alabama school to deliver letters that described their experience and advocated for acceptance of GLBT students.

You know, I may be crazy, but I was under the impression that college was a place to, you know, learn stuff.  Maybe even stuff you don't already know.  Arresting people who want to peacefully share a different point of view doesn't seem very pro-learning to me.  According to 365gay's article about it, the mood at Heritage regarding the arrival of the Equality Riders was one of 'homophobic panic.'  Don't be scared, President Dennis Jones.  We gay Christians won't hurt you, we promise.  We won't make you marry a man.  We won't destroy your marriage.  We won't even ask you to wear sparkly gold go-go boots.  Although you would look fabulous in them.  We were just wondering if when Jesus invited 'whosoever believes in' him, that invitation could possibly be stretched to even include us.  Or if, at least, you'd be willing to discuss the question without, you know, having utterly nonthreatening young people arrested for coming to ask the question.

Once again, big props to the three Riders who were arrested:
*Caitlin MacIntyre, 19, of Houston, Tex.,
*Katie Higgins, 26, of Charleston, S.C.
*Taueret Manu, 21, of the Bronx, NY.

New Book Offers LGBT Believers a Bulletproof Faith

By Candace Chellew-Hodge

First, let me offer an apology. I'm sorry there is even a need for my new book: Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians. I would have loved to have written a completely different book. Perhaps a feel-good self-help book, like the ones that have made Wayne Dyer a rich man, or perhaps one that celebrates the awe and wonder of being a follower of Christ - without having to distinguish between those followers based on something inconsequential to God, like their sexual orientation. But, because there is a faction of Christians who insist on making this distinction, there is a need for this book, and for that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that there are so many Christians in this world who would rather judge and tear down fellow believers instead of building them up. I'm sorry there are so many Christians in this world who would rather exclude than include others in God's grace. I'm sorry there are so many Christians in this world who would rather argue over a few biblical passages of dubious meaning than seek common ground around the law of love that Jesus came to proclaim. I'm sorry for the damage these kinds of Christians have done to the body of Christ - wounding the GLBT believer who seeks find their place in God's realm. I'm sorry that these kinds of Christians have made GLBT people believe that they are hated by God, cursed by God and not faithful enough in their walk to come to God just as they are created.

What I'm most sorry for is that this book has been needed for so long. When I founded my Internet magazine Whosoever (at whosoever.org) back in 1996, there was little out there to affirm GLBT Christians. Daniel Helminiak's What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality had been released a couple of years earlier and remained a best seller in GLBT bookstores. Clearly, our community was hungry for affirmation that God loves us and made us just as we are. It would be nice to say that some 13 years later we wouldn't be as hungry for affirming material, but we are. Bulletproof Faith is a book that is needed by many in our community and even by those outside our community who support us. I believe the atmosphere in both church and society is more inviting and affirming of GLBT people now, but the voices against us are still loud and often persuasive. To counteract this continued hatred and bigotry, we have to be bulletproof - not just in our faith, but in our conviction that there is nothing abnormal or sinful in being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. In Bulletproof Faith, I offer a blueprint for becoming bulletproof - able to deflect the bullets fired from loaded Bibles or the biased missives of misguided, and often professionally discredited, psychologists.

I hope that this book, along with 25-page study guide that's available at the book's Web site at http://www.bulletproofbook.com, will help you on your journey to becoming bulletproof - able to withstand any attack on your faith, no matter its origin.