RMNBlog

An Altar for All: Virginia Conference of The United Methodist Church

- by a team of Altar for All signers from the Virginia Conference of The UMC -

Preface

About twenty years ago, after a long study of scripture and theology[1], I came to the conclusion that homosexuality was not a sin but a sexual orientation.  Although the causes of human sexual orientation have not been fully explained by science, it is clear that sexual orientation forms at a very early age and that it is seldom a matter of choice.  As the Biblical authors wrote long before a scientific understanding of sexuality, it is apparent that they believed God created all people as heterosexuals and only those who perverted their God-given heterosexuality turned to homosexuality.  Further, the Biblical authors associated homosexuality with temple prostitution and idolatry—it is hardly surprising that they condemned it.   Even as we affirm their rejection of temple prostitution and idolatry, we can no longer accept their mistaken assumption of a universal heterosexuality.

Today our church recognizes sexual orientation but calls on homosexuals to practice celibacy.   For the apostle Paul, celibacy was a gift, a charism, for those who could live happily without sexual intimacy.  Why should we assume that all homosexuals have this gift when so few heterosexuals embrace it?   When heterosexuals marry we expect them to live in committed, loving relationships—when homosexuals embrace these same ethical obligations we should be able to offer them our unqualified affirmation.   As I recently wrote in a letter to our local newspaper:

Today there are many Christians and Christian denominations that support same sex marriage. We don't do this because of relativism or because of accommodation to "liberal" values. We believe God blesses committed, loving relationships regardless of sexual orientation. We believe that denying homosexual couples the right to marry is a justice issue and violation of their civil rights [2].

As the leaders of the early church had to overcome their prejudice toward Samaritans (Acts 8) and gentiles (Acts 10), the contemporary United Methodist Church must overcome our prejudice toward people of differing sexual orientations.  In the 19^th and 20^th centuries, after painful division and much conflict, Methodists finally overcome ugly racial oppression and exclusion.  In the 20^th century, the United Methodist Church grew to appreciate the gifts and graces of women in church leadership.   It is past time to recognize and embrace the gifts that our LGBT brothers and sisters bring to our church.   We only impoverish ourselves by excluding them from church leadership and from marriage.

Up until the 2012 General Conference of the United Methodist Church, I lived with the comforting illusion that the United Methodist Church was making progress toward abandoning its condemnation of the “practice of homosexuality” in the Social Principles and was moving toward full inclusion of LGBT people.   But with the 61-39% rejection of changes to the church’s position on homosexuality at the 2012 General Conference, and with the increasing number of African delegates at General Conference, who for the most part strongly oppose changing our policy, our church’s position appears to be hardening.  

As Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote in his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” progress is not automatic with time—history is neutral.   For laws and attitudes to change, it takes persistent and courageous challenges to the status quo.  Believing that our church would change with time and cultural shifts, I confess that I have been far too passive and complacent in the face of ecclesiastical oppression of sexual minorities.   I apologize to my LGBT friends and hope to make amends.   This statement is a first step.

In addition to the General Conference’s overwhelming rejection of a change in policy, several events in 2012 shook me out of my passivity: North Carolina’s vote to ban same sex marriage, the Boy Scouts’ decision to uphold the exclusion of gays members (an exclusion finally lifted on May 23, 2013 for membership, but retained for scout leaders), and a Virginia rejection of a well-qualified gay prosecutor for a judgeship (later overruled).   I am convinced that if the United Methodist Church had changed it stance on homosexuality the decisions of the Boy Scouts, North Carolina, and Virginia might well have turned out differently.   In spite of the language in the Social Principles that says homosexual are “individuals of sacred worth” and that the United Methodist Church “insists” that all persons, regardless of sexual orientation, “are entitled to have their human and civil rights ensured,” our church has become an obstacle and hindrance to assuring the civil rights of sexual minorities.   Our censure of the “practice of homosexuality,” our refusal to ordain gays or lesbians for Christian ministry, and our prohibitions on celebrations of homosexual unions by our clergy (or in our churches) marginalize gays and lesbians and make it harder for them to enjoy the civil rights we claim to be supporting.

At baptism, United Methodists answer this question affirmatively:  “Do you accept the freedom and power God gives you to resist evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves?”   This baptismal affirmation, along with others, comes first and takes precedence over the later commitment clergy make to Word, sacrament, order, and service when becoming an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church.   Although clergy take vows to “accept the Discipline and authority” of the church, that authority does not override our baptismal commitments.  We commit ourselves in baptism “to resist evil, injustice and oppression in whatever form they present themselves,” even and especially if they are expressed in the institutional life of the Church.  

As Bishop Melvin Talbert proclaimed so eloquently at a Reconciling Ministries gathering at 2012 General Conference:

I stand before you here this afternoon and I declare that God has already settled this matter: all human beings are created in the image of God. There are no exceptions, no exclusions. We belong to the family of God. 

. . . At the same time, I declare to you that the derogatory language and restrictive laws in the Book of Discipline are immoral, and unjust and no longer deserve our loyalty and obedience.[3]

In fact, if we are faithful to our baptismal vows, what the “derogatory language and restrictive laws” deserve is our forthright resistance. 

Presently thirteen annual conferences of the United Methodist Church have organized participation in “An Altar for All.”  We, clergy and laity, in the Virginia Conference of the United Methodist Church want to join in their resistance to “evil, injustice, and oppression.”   We are pleased to join the Tennessee Annual Conference to become the second conference in the Southeast Jurisdiction of the United Methodist to form “An Altar for All.”

The Virginia Chapter of the Methodist Federation of Social Action asked me to write this preface so that we could make our own contribution to “An Altar for All.”

                        John D. Copenhaver, Jr., Virginia Conference elder in full connection

                        April 4, 2013 (revised May 31, 2013)   jcopenha@su.edu

 

An Altar for All

We, clergy and laity of the Virginia Annual Conference, may resist in different ways, but all of us pledge to work for: 1) removal of derogatory language about homosexuality from the Discipline, 2) the full inclusion of LGBT persons in the life of the Church, including ordination, 3) marriage equality, and 4) freeing our churches and clergy to celebrate same sex marriages and unions.

Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) has created a SIGN ON page that allows United Methodist clergy and laity to affirm “An Altar for All” is various ways.  You can sign on as

1) Clergyperson called to officiate at same-sex ceremonies

2) Clergyperson supportive of others officiating in same-sex ceremonies

3) Layperson supportive of others officiating in same-sex ceremonies

4) Layperson called to officiate at same-sex ceremonies

5) Congregations who will host same-sex ceremonies

6) Congregations who will not host any wedding until marriage is available for all

We urge all Virginia United Methodists supportive of marriage equality to use the RMN page to show your support for the Virginia Conference “An Altar for All. Click here to sign.” 

. . .

 

[1] For an excellent examination of the Biblical, theological, and moral issues, see the resources page of Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN), especially the book/online study guide: Claiming the Promise: An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study on Homosexuality. Editor. Mary Jo Osterman.  http://www.rmnetwork.org/lgbtqresources/studiesbooks/

[2] “Gay Marriage a ‘justice issue’” Winchester Star, p. A4 (March 8, 2013)

[3] “RMNBlog” (May 30, 2012) http://www.rmnblog.org/2012/05/a-call-to-biblical-obedience.html

Confessions of a Seminarian

- by anonymous Duke Divinity School student -

A few months ago I made a promise to God and to myself that I would remain in the UMC ordination process as long as I could faithfully live into my calling and be faithful to who God created me to be.  Early this week, I compromised both of my promises.  Lord, forgive me for what I have done, and forgive your church for putting me in this position.

As a Masters of Di
vinity student at Duke Divinity School I am required to fulfill two field education placements during my three years of study, and his summer I am serving in a thriving United Methodist congregation in rural North Carolina.  Along with a supervising pastor, a lay training committee is assigned to help the field education intern discern his/her vocational calling and get acclimated to life in the parish.  This week I had my initial visit with my lay training committee, and as a whole it was a positive experience.  They were intent on making me comfortable and genuinely wanted to get to know who I am and what God is calling me to do in ministry.  We spent an hour together where they asked me questions about my vocation and discernment.  One of the questions they asked me was, “What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?”

Q: What is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do?  

A:  Come out to myself, my family, and my friends.

I sat in silence for several seconds trying to come up with another answer.  I wanted to tell them the truth.  The process of coming out to my family, my friends, and myself was a tremendously difficult experience; and I wanted this committee to know that.  I wanted to tell them about how I wrestled with my faith and my identity as I tried to reconcile my calling and my attraction to other women.  I wanted to tell them about how I came to a new understanding of God’s love and grace when my parents accepted me as I am.  I wanted to tell them about the gifts for ministry my friends saw in me as I made myself vulnerable to them.  Instead, I told them about the second most difficult thing I have ever done.

I did not lie, but I did not tell the whole truth either.  I was afraid they would reject me as their minister if I told the truth.  I was afraid they would tell the people at Duke and my home conference that I am gay.  I am afraid to be completely honest, because I do not want to be kicked out of the ordination process.  Lord, forgive me for being afraid and not putting my hope and trust in you. 

I love the United Methodist Church, but I hate the position it puts me in as I try to faithfully follow the path of ministry to which God calls me.  I hate that I cannot tell the entire truth.  I cannot settle for telling people part of my story, because it compromises my story, my calling, and who I am as a child of God.  The “issue” of homosexuality in the United Methodist Church is not an issue.  I am a person.  My brothers and sisters in Christ are people.  We want to live into the fullness of our callings, but the Church denies us the ability to fully live as the beloved children of God if we want to be faithful to the ministry God calls us to.  Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

Bridge to Everywhere

- by Dr. Leland Spencer -
North Georgia Reconciling Service | June 12, 2013 | Matthew 20:1-16

For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with the laborers for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. When he went out about nine o’clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace; and he said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went. When he went out again about noon and about three o’clock, he did the same. And about five o’clock he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, ‘Why are you standing here idle all day?’ They said to him, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard.’ When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his manager, ‘Call the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and then going to the first.’ When those hired about five o’clock came, each of them received the usual daily wage. Now when the first came, they thought they would receive more; but each of them also received the usual daily wage. And when they received it, they grumbled against the landowner, saying, ‘These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.’ But he replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what belongs to you and go; I choose to give to this last the same as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?’ So the last will be first, and the first will be last.

In 2007, the tiny town of Ketchikan, Alaska, an island off the southeast coast of the state, found itself suddenly the object of national and international attention and debate. The town’s population of 50 people argued that the region’s economy would grow if there were a bridge connecting their island to a nearby island with the closest airport in the region, and the residents of that small town worked for many years to secure the $400 million needed for the bridge. However, according to the Associated Press, the project was jeopardized when it became “a national symbol of federal pork barrel spending.” The bridge, popularly dubbed the “Bridge to Nowhere,” was abandoned, but we continued to hear about the “bridge to nowhere” throughout the 2008 election cycle.

The annual conference meeting this week has a theme of “Bridges to Mission,” and I think that’s a great theme. Bridges are wonderful metaphors—not just for pork barrel spending—but for the work of the church, particularly a connectional church, in making a way for people to be in relationship with God and one another. As I thought about that theme, for some reason, the “Bridge to Nowhere” came to mind. My intention this evening is not to make a political statement about the bridge, but to pose a question about the name for it. Who decides the bridge goes “nowhere”? Who decides those 50 people are “nobody” and their hometown a “nowhere”? And what’s the cut off? How many people have to move to the island before it is worthy not just of federal funding, but of the coveted ontological status “somewhere”?  

As the conference gathers and thinks about Bridges to Mission, I suggest that we who identify as Reconciling United Methodists are in mission to the church, building bridges between people and the church, and between people and each other. To reconcile means to bring back into right relationship, and it typically connotes some sort of healing of brokenness. It is my contention that in the life of the church, there ought to be no such thing as nowhere. And yet, quadrennium after quadrennium, General Conference refuses to build a much needed bridge between the United Methodist Church and lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people. Now, I’m a person who identifies as both about as gay as someone can be and about as United Methodist as can be, so like many of you, I find myself deeply wounded by the actions or inaction of the General Conference, but also deeply confused. How can our Discipline both affirm that sexuality is a good gift from God but then suggest that the sexuality with which God gifted some of us is incompatible with Christian teaching? How is it that we have a beautiful statement about the civil rights of lesbian and gay people, including our support for nondiscrimination in the workplace, but then make an exception for ourselves by declaring that “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” cannot be licensed, commissioned, or ordained in our tradition? Talk about standing in need of reconciliation! And if the statements that end up in the Discipline weren’t bad enough, I can’t seem to stop myself from reading the news stories and checking anecdotal updates on Facebook from those of you brave enough to go to General Conference, and the content of those updates is frankly horrifying. I end up feeling an awful lot like a “nobody” or a “nowhere,” wondering when a bridge will be built that will give me and many, many others full access to the United Methodist Church.

Thus far, General Conference has been unwilling to build such a bridge, but I celebrate that so many communities, campus ministries, congregations, and individual members of the United Methodist Church are engaged in work that builds those bridges, that makes connections between people and the church and people with each other. I celebrate that whatever happens at annual conference, we have had a chance to gather in this space and share an inclusive worship service that imagines the church as it can be, as God calls it to be. Let’s take some time, then, to think about what it means to be in mission to our beloved United Methodist Church and to build bridges between people and the church and for people with one another.

Our text for this evening is the parable of the generous landowner. Whenever I read or hear this parable, I imagine the group of workers hired at five o’clock. I picture a desolate, nearly empty marketplace. Only a few people remain—idle, unemployed, overlooked, perhaps rejected. They had no work because no one hired them. I wonder why. Were they unskilled? Were they members of marginalized groups and victimized that day by discriminatory employers? Did their reputations make them undesirable to employers? Were they self-avowed, practicing homosexuals—or rumored to be? The text doesn’t say. And you know what excites me? The landowner doesn’t ask! The only question this generous employer asks is “Why haven’t you been working today?” The question is neither judgmental nor accusatory. Instead, the question is inviting. “Go on out and join the others in my vineyard,” the landowner says. The landowner does not condemn the idle workers as lazy. The landowner does not shame the idle workers by excluding them. The landowner does not add another rejection to the long list of heartache each of these idle workers may have felt by the near end of the fruitless workday. I wonder how many days these idle workers waited hopelessly in the marketplace for someone to invite them to work. I wonder how much pain and exclusion they felt. The text doesn’t say.

The text does tell us, though, that the vineyard owner puts an end to the loneliness of their unemployment. The landowner does not grill, interview, or discriminate. Instead, the landowner invites the idle workers into the midst of the landowner’s generous abundance. They are welcomed without condition or reservation!

Perhaps the most exciting part of this parable is also the most challenging. The parable, according to Rosemary Dowsett, calls us to see ourselves as equals and realize that none of us is superior to any other child of God. The last hired and the first hired all receive an equal share of the landowner’s generosity. This passage suggests to us that the systems of rank, power, and entitlement with which we are so comfortable all disappear in God’s sight. We need to embrace that gift rather than be offended by it. Eugene Boring says, “the parable deals with resentment toward others who have received the grace one affirms in theory.” That’s worth repeating: “this parable deals with resentment toward others who have received the grace one affirms in theory.”

If you read our Discipline or have followed recent news in the Reconciling Movement, you may know a thing or two about resentment toward those who have received the grace we affirm in theory. In the New York Conference, the Rev. Dr. Thomas Ogletree faces charges for officiating his son’s wedding to another man. Here we come to yet another contradiction, for in our United Methodist tradition, marriage is related to baptism. In “By Water and the Spirit,” the official study of baptism approved by the General Conference—sometimes, my friends, General Conference gets it right—we learn, and I quote: “For the Church, the marriage covenant is grounded in the covenant between God and God’s people into which Christians enter in their baptism.” Should the Rev. Dr. Ogletree be allowed to baptize his son, but not later solemnize his marriage? Dr. Ogletree recognizes what the United Methodist Church hasn’t yet recognized: the owner of the vineyard has invited all to share in the generosity of the owner’s love and grace. Predictably, there is grumbling from those who resent that Dr. Ogletree extended that same grace to his son and now son-in-law that he would extend to a heterosexual couple. Dr. Ogletree built a bridge between a rite of the church and his son and now son-in-law, and he will likely face a trial for his faithfulness because many resent in practice the grace we all affirm in theory.

In another heartbreaking case, just this past week the Southwest Texas Conference clergy session voted to discontinue the candidacy of Mary Ann Kaiser, an openly lesbian woman whose district recommended her to be interviewed by the Board of Ordained Ministry. The board had not yet interviewed her, but nonetheless suggested that the clergy session discontinue her. By a narrow vote, the clergy session removed Ms. Kaiser from the ordination process. As I understand it, the role of district committees on ministry, the Board of Ordained Ministry, and the clergy session is to discern candidates’ calls to ministry and evidence of spiritual fruit, not to function as gatekeepers who determine what others are worth. I don’t know Ms. Kaiser, but I am heartened to know that the owner of the vineyard has called, and she has responded. The owner of the vineyard has already decided that Ms. Kaiser is worth just as much as the other workers, even if the other workers grumble about it and try to vote her out.

The examples could go on and on, each as heartbreaking as the last, the content changing while the form stays the same. In each case, the church refuses to build a bridge, or to extended the grace we affirm in theory. That, my friends, is where we come in, and why I’m convinced that our role as Reconciling United Methodists continues to be vitally important. It is our job to remind the church that we are called to build a bridge to everywhere. As a church, we must come to a time where we repent of the sin of thinking about any person or group as “nowhere” or “nobody.” Those in the 5 o’clock crowd are being called to come and work and share in an equal portion of God’s grace.

While most of us in this room know there’s a such thing as a Christian left, and for the most part, probably situate ourselves within it, it is important to remember that many people within and beyond the United Methodist Church have never heard a positive, faith-based message about lesbian and gay people. I keep thinking I’m done having conversations where I’m the first gay and Christian identified person my interlocutor has met, but it keeps happening, so that means there are still people who don’t know what we affirm to be true: that God’s love includes all, and all means all. I had the privilege this last semester to teach a class called Multicultural Perspectives on Women in the United States. To my great delight, the anthology the department used for the class included a few great articles about feminist perspectives on religion, one about feminist Muslims, and one by Dr. Gary David Comstock, who interviewed the pastor of a multicultural and LGBTQ-inclusive Christian congregation. I liked Dr. Comstock’s article, but nothing in it surprised me, and it could just as easily be written by some of you in this room and the congregations of which you are a part. Some of my students, though, thought the article was profound. One raised her hand and said, “I have no interest at all in religion, but if I could find a church like this, I might actually go!” The part of my spirit that identifies as evangelical—in the capacious rather than narrowly defined political sense of the term—wanted to stop class and say, “Really? If you’re serious, I have recommendations!” I suspect many of you could tell similar stories, and I have others like it that I could share. And we shouldn’t be surprised. We are part of a tradition that believes in prevenient grace. If God is seeking us out even when we are unaware or uninterested in God, of course people have a hunger for the Gospel. But centuries of harmful teaching about human sexuality (not to mention sexism, racism, classism, and colonialism) have eroded the church’s credibility, so we have our work cut out of us.

As we work to offer the sort of unconditional invitation modeled for us in the parable, I think we must hold fast to the reasons we stay. I am often asked why I remain in the United Methodist Church, and my answer is long and complex, but it always includes a reflection on my baptism. I believe we get a glimpse of the church at its best when we baptize an infant, marking her or him for inclusion in the beloved community of God. A congregation makes vows to support that child’s faith journey as she or he grows, and often the congregation sings, using the baby’s name in song, “God claims you God helps you, protects you and loves you, too. We this day do all agree a child of God you’ll always be.” I stay because the power of that sacrament is stronger than the Book of Discipline. I stay because I saw the church at its best when I grew up in a congregation that took seriously the vows it made at my baptism. I stay because week by week, babies are baptized in United Methodist Churches all around the world, and some day, about a tenth of those babies will grow up and identity as LGBTQ, and they may also feel called to ministry in the church that baptized them and nurtured them, or perhaps desire to get married by their pastors and in their churches. Now that will hold true whether folks like us stay in the church or whether we go elsewhere, so isn’t it better for those babies if we stay? Those babies may not grow up in a denomination that truly recognizes their full humanity in polity and practice, but that means they need Reconciling United Methodists to build the bridge the church refuses to build, to extend grace in practice rather than just in theory. Indeed, I stay for those babies, and I stay because at my confirmation my pastor invited me to touch water and remember my baptism, and then I made a vow to accept the freedom and power God gives me to resist evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves. I didn’t know then that the church itself would be one of those forms. But I know it doesn’t have to. I have seen the church at its best, so I can’t give up on the church at its worst.

I have been encouraged on this journey of loving the church even while trying to point out its sin by my scholarly work as a feminist rhetorician. My dissertation project explored the sermons of women bishops who were firsts in different ways. One chapter focused on Bishop Leontine Kelly, the first woman bishop of color in the United Methodist Church or in any mainline denomination. Bishop Kelly died last June at the age of 92, and I regret that I never got to meet her, but I was privileged to travel to the archives at the Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary library, where Bishop Kelly donated all her files. I learned a lot about Bishop Kelly, and when I say all her files—I do mean all! She saved EVERYTHING, and that’s good for me. I read several dozen sermons and articles authored by Kelly as well as a few articles and book chapters written about her. As I understand it, one of Bishop Kelly’s goals as a preacher and leader was convincing the United Methodist Church that racism and sexism were sinful systems from which we as a church needed to repent. One story in particular seems to be a favorite of hers, as it comes up again and again. When she was a child, Leontine moved with her family to Cincinnati when her father was appointed as the pastor of the Calvary Methodist Episcopal Church. She and her siblings were impressed with the beautiful big building and its support beams made from imported Italian wood, its crystal chandeliers, and its noted history as the church where U.S. President William Henry Harrison was married. The more important feature of the church, though, was its history in social justice that Leontine and her brothers found in the basement. Kelly says,

“Around the kitchen table of Calvary Church parsonage, my father made historical, biblical, and theological wholeness for me. This church had evidently been a station of the Underground Railway, he told us. Cincinnati was on the Mason-Dixon Line and to imagine slaves being brought to this church located so near the Ohio River was believable. Fugitive slave laws encouraged people to seek any escaped slaves in order to collect rewards, and Cincinnati was filled with persons of this nature. … ‘The witness of this church,’ [my father] said, ‘is not in its gothic architecture, or its crystal chandeliers or its social standing. The true witness of this church is in the cellar beneath us. Perhaps some of our forebears were held here.’ We imagined the great services, the inspired preaching, the biblical understanding that encouraged people to take such a risk of justice. We saw the church as a way station, a place of renewal of strength, a law that superseded the unjust structures of human government. We understood that justice need never stand suspended, but can freely move like streams of water to thirsty people.”

Now as I said, I never knew Bishop Kelly, so I didn’t have a chance to ask why she used that story so often, but as a person trained to study messages and notice patterns, I would argue that she used that story because it was an example of a time when the church got it right—when the church deliberately defied the law of the land to uphold the more important law of love. Bishop Kelly knew from a young age that the church could do better. In that basement, she saw the church at its best, and she used that story to encourage the church of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries to go and do and be likewise.

My friends, let’s make the church the church at its best. Let’s be the church at its best! The United Methodist Church says LGBTQ people are a “nowhere” or a “nobody,” but we are called to build a bridge to everywhere, leaving no one out. The United Methodist Church wants to grumble that the owner of the vineyard invites all to share in the generosity of God’s grace, but that doesn’t thwart God’s generosity. I agree with Bishop Kelly: justice need never stand suspended. By God’s grace, may we make it so. Amen. 

. . .

Leland G. Spencer IV, a lifelong United Methodist, holds a PhD in communication studies from the University of Georgia, where he teaches classes in communication and women's studies. Leland holds an M.A. in Communication from the University of Cincinnati (2009). While in Cincinnati, Leland served as the worship intern at the Wesley Foundation. Leland is a 2007 graduate of Mount Union College, a United Methodist-related school in Alliance, Ohio. Leland served as a part-time local pastor at Mapleton United Methodist Church in the East Ohio Conference from 2005 until 2007 when Leland withdrew from the candidacy process because of the United Methodist Church's exclusive position about the ordination of LGB persons.

Mary Ann Kaiser: I have no alternative.

I am sorry to trouble our dear mother Church with any perplexing questions, but it presses me also, and the Church and myself must decide something. I am so thoroughly convinced that [God] has laid commands upon me in this direction, that it becomes with me really a question of my own soul's salvation. If [God] commands me to just the course I am pursuing, as only they that do [God's] commandments have right to the tree of life, I have no alternative.

- Anna Oliver on seeking ordination as a woman in 1880.

I recently took a United Methodist History course and more than anything, I enjoyed reading the primary documents made available to us. The voices of women silenced not so long ago expressed the struggle they endured- a personal, theological and spiritual struggle where their calls did not jive with the institution of their time. Many, like Anna Oliver, felt they had no alternative even if it was not yet socially acceptable or was against the laws of the church, to preach. When it came down to it, they wondered what options they had but to follow God’s leading if they hoped to be faithful.

I was so enthralled with these stories of our UMC history and of the long line of women whom I owe so much that I eagerly began sharing them on Facebook. After a few posts, a friend of mine commented with interest. “What are you reading?” “All kinds of primary documents,” I told her. “What’s your quote?” she asked. I responded with the specific title of the quote I had posted thinking she was asking about where I found it, but that was not what she meant. “No. What’s YOUR quote?”

Oh. MY quote.

This was just three weeks before my potential ordination would unexpectedly become the topic of conversation at my Annual Conference - six months before my scheduled interview with the Board of Ordained Ministry. The reality of her question settled into my soul but I had no idea how immediately it would beckon an answer.

Reading the words of these women – Fanny Newell, Anna Oliver, Jarena Lee, and others – who stayed faithful to the voice of God in their lives no matter the other noise around them helps me to focus my own life. We all have a path that is ours to walk and as people of faith, we are called to walk our paths with integrity, authenticity, and a commitment to love and justice. This is our life work.

Over the last 12 or so years of my life, the church I grew up in, my Chrysalis community, the Wesley Foundation I worked for, and so many others encouraged me to see that ordination is my path to follow. I came-out to myself in the middle of this ordination process, about five years of hard work into it all, but deciding to stay was still no easy task. I was already wrestling with the church’s partnering relationship to all varieties of “-isms,” and now my own identity was an added complication.

Since, I have struggled honestly and passionately with the church. I have argued with the voice of God in my life. I have tried to convince myself I do not want to and am not called be ordained. And yet, I still return to this place. The United Methodist Church is my church. I was raised in it and I believe in it - in the best of our past and the best of what we can be in the future. And I am called to be a minister within it. And I can’t help that.

Like Fanny, and Anna and Jarena, what option do I have but to follow the voice of God in my life? Who, in good conscience and sound theology, would advise me to do otherwise? It is up to me to follow my call and it is up to the elected bodies of the UMC to follow theirs.

For too many years, however, they have not. The noise of fear, prejudice, and arrogance have distracted us from the Spirit’s guidance. This has resulted in too many LGBTQ voices being kept from their call by being removed from the ordination process. Too many LGBTQ clergy are trying to follow their call but have to do so gagged and bound in the church’s closet. For how many years will the UMC continue to get in the way of God’s work, harming those God calls instead of guiding us? How many years? It has been too many already.

I have a path in front of me and it is up to me to be faithful to it regardless of the obstacles. The UMC has one too. And so do all of its members. Eventually these paths intersect and we all meet face to face with choices. Do we remain faithful to the path of love and justice God has put before us even if it costs us? Or do we listen to the noise around us which drowns out the voice of the Divine?

There is so much listening to be done.  

. . .

Mary Ann Kaiser is a recent graduate of Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. She has a passion for working in the intersections of church and society. Her love for religious approaches to questions of ethics, particularly in the realms of race, gender, and sexuality, led her to internships at WATER (Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics, and Ritual) in Silver Spring, MD and Texas Freedom Network in Austin, TX. She has also worked for the Wesley Foundation and as a hospital chaplain. She currently serves as Youth Director and Justice Associate at University UMC in Austin and is pursuing ordination as a Deacon in The UMC. In her free time, she blogs for Reconciling Ministries Network.

Click here to take action to support Mary Ann.

Click here to read the full account of Mary Ann's story at annual conference.

 

God Still Loves You, Even if the Church Doesn’t: A Response to the Southern Baptist Convention

- by Rob Lee -

I’ve been saddened by the response of the Southern Baptist Convention in regards to lifting of the ban on gay Boy Scouts. However I applaud Gil Hanke and the Commission on United Methodist Men who opened and encouraged a conversation for Southern Baptist chartered Boy Scout troops to be welcomed within United Methodist sponsoring organizations. This is the progress we hope to see within the denomination that is trying to figure out its identity.

This hits home for me. The troop I grew up in and attained my Eagle Scout in is in jeopardy of losing its charter due to its association with a Southern Baptist Church that disagrees with the Boy Scout’s decision. In a sad series of events, many churches are throwing the baby out with the bath water, sacrificing the organization for a decision they disagree with. Even in emails I’ve seen from various troops suggest that they know the boys in their troops have potential to attain Eagle, but they can’t attain an Eagle Award that stands for equality in the realm of sexuality.

Let me be clear, this is not the solution. The Eagle Scout pin I have is tainted because we are ignoring the accomplishments of young men (both gay and straight) by disbanding our Boy Scout troops. Equality is no reason to run away from an organization that has done so much good over the past 100 years, if anything, it should be celebrated.

I call on all United Methodist congregations to welcome those Boy Scouts displaced by the Southern Baptist Convention’s decision. When we welcome these Boy Scouts we are living examples of the Scout Law and the love we know incarnate in Jesus Christ. God is full of love, even when our denominational structures are not.

I am honestly and truly broken over the realities of losing my troop to a resolution based on inequality, I am broken because this troop has given me so much, but I am resolved in knowing that the oppressed and marginalized cannot be mistreated. So we all press forward and extend a welcoming hand. We do that good deed Scouting taught me and give a resounding ‘yes’ to equality.

In those moments, in those experiences we see a reconciling love that triumph over any resolution the Southern Baptist Convention, The United Methodist Church and a myriad of others have passed. God’s love is far more powerful than any resistance we can muster. My heart breaks, but the God of grace reminds all of us that in our reconciling, redemptive love shared for the least of these we are well on our way towards healing in our lives and the life of our denomination. I’m aware that policy will have to change too, but love is an awesome place to start.

. . .

Rob Lee, 20, is a lifelong United Methodist and member of Broad Street United Methodist Church in Statesville, North Carolina. Rob is an undergraduate religious studies major at Appalachian State University in Boone, North Carolina. Rob is an advocate within the church from a General Conference (2012 Delegate) to the local church level. Rob has a weekly column in the Statesville Record and Landmark and other North Carolina papers. Rob is a blogger who blogged and wrote stories for UMCommunications during the 2012 General Conference. Rob has plans to attend seminary, and continue to advocate for justice within the church. Rob enjoys movies, friends and hiking. He lives in Boone with his dog Rusty. 

TransMontana Biblical Obedience

- by Roberta Zenker -

I had the opportunity to join the United Methodist Yellowstone Annual Conference in Billings, MT this past weekend.  It was a little bit of a retreat for me, with a room full of clergy and wonderful people whom I have grown to love since becoming a member of ST Paul’s, UMC in Helena a few years ago.  We sang songs at morning services and even danced a bit.  And, I sold a few books.

I learned a new phrase too, “biblical obedience.”  When I first heard it, that same old fear came creeping up the back of my neck, and I wondered if I really wanted to be there.  I immediately thought of all the evangelical Christians who would condemn me to hell for their literal reading of certain selected passages of the King James Version of the Holy Bible.  As I sat amongst the members of the Reconciling Ministries Committee, I stifled the urge to fight or run.  I knew they did not accept a literal reading of scripture that conflicted with Jesus’ command to love one another.  I listened instead.

As I sat in a meeting of predominantly clergy members, I began to understand that it was they who would assert “biblical obedience,” and Jesus’ command was exactly what they were referring to.  They would obey this command, rather than the Methodist Book of Discipline, which states that “homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” ¶ 304.3.  In fact, many of the Conference’s retired pastors have publicly resolved to perform same sex unions.

One Pastor, my friend, Lyle Hamilton, has written a poem echoing this sentiment called When Persons Reach out Heart to Heart.  It concludes:

They honor truly who they are

As ones marked by God’s grace;

Deep love looks though the lover’s eyes,

and looking back – God’s face.

Not only is this kind of “biblical obedience” new to me, it is, in one form or another, a common theme emerging amongst many Christian denominations.  As pastor Marianne wrote in Sunday’s bulletin, they “effectively ‘come out of the closet.’”  They are Episcopalian, Catholic, Lutheran, Presbyrterian, etc. (see also this community finder).

I guess we are changing the world!

. . .

Robert Zenker blogs at www.transmontanathebook.com. TRANSMONTANA is the story of Montana hunter and county attorney Robert Zenker’s transition from a male, popularly elected public official to modern, professional woman.

Robert Zenker was a married man and father of two, boxed in the psychologically complicated, emotionally taut web of secrecy, shame, fear, doubt and ambiguity of self of a transsexual deeply in denial. Roberta inhabited that body and all the accoutrement of the life of a man in Montana for nearly fifty years before her transition from man to woman in 2007.

The remarkable story of her emerging from her box is a complex, courageous and sometimes dangerous journey involving not only physical transition, but also alcohol recovery and the result of both – a spiritual transformation. Bobbie is now a beloved daughter, a supportive friend to many women.

Let's talk about sex

- by anonymous United Methodist young adult worker -

We need to talk about sex.

 

Picture from www.mybrownbaby.com

I’m a young adult and I work with younger adults at a United Methodist campus ministry at a big, Midwestern university. For many incoming young adults, this is their first taste of independence from their parents, siblings, childhood friends, and even hometowns. This is the testing ground of everything they’ve been taught thus far, from US History to How To Operate A Laundry Machine. And sex.

 

In my own experience as a Midwesterner, sex is not something discussed easily. I grew up in a liberal family in a liberal city (at least, liberal relative to the surrounding region). As a senior in high school, I knew for a fact I had received a good education about sex, sexuality, gender, etc. at my high school. I never much questioned that my parents had never talked to me about “the birds and the bees,” and since I was not that involved in any faith community, I certainly wouldn’t think some place like that (“ew, church, gross!”) could teach me anything. Then I went to college and discovered that what I thought I knew about sex was woefully inadequate.

Mary Ann Kaiser appeal speach

Click here to take action to support Mary Ann.

Mary Ann and John requesting a Rule of Order

Mary Ann Kaiser was a certified candidate for ordained ministry in The United Methodist Church. Her home district committee voted to certify her earlier this year. Her ordination journey was halted abruptly June 6, 2013 when The Southwest Texas Conference Board of Ordained Ministry recommended to the clergy of the conference to revoke her certification because Mary Ann identifies as a lesbian.

 

On June 7, Rev. John Elford, the pastor where Mary Ann serves as Youth Director and Justice Associate at University UMC in Austin, spoke on behalf of Mary Ann, asking Bishop Dorff for a rule of law, saying

(Listen to the audio here.)

Yesterday, a premature decision was made by the Board of Ordained Ministry, to remove Mary Ann Kaiser from the candidacy process on account of her being lesbian without following proper procedures or at minimum, interviewing her.  The clergy session voted by a slim majority to maintain that decision, but the correctness of the polity remains in question.  As we strive to maintain all of the policies of the Book of Discipline, I respectfully request a ruling of law as to whether a Board of Ordained Ministry can decline to consider the candidacy of a certified candidate for ordained ministry who has been appropriately recommended by a District Committee on Ordained Ministry.

What are you??

- by Rev. Vicki Flippin, reposted with permission from Church of the Village -

There is a Youtube video making its way around this month. In it, a white man begins making small talk with an Asian American woman, and says to her, “Where are you from? Your English is perfect!” Annoyed, the woman responds, “San Diego. We speak English there.”

This leads to a downward spiral of questioning, and—once the man gets the woman to admit that “her people” are “from” Seoul—he proceeds to bow to her and talk about Korean barbeque and kimchi. When she asks him where he is from, he answers that he’s “just a regular American”. Finally, he gets it and admits that his ancestors are in fact English. The punch line is that she then begins to imitate all of the English stereotypes she can think of, including repeating phrases like “Top a the mornin’ to ya!” and complimenting “his people’s” fish and chips.

Many of my Asian American friends have been passing this video around because it is so true to experiences we have all had. People often ask us, “Where are you from?” And it is always slightly infuriating. I’ve been trying to figure out exactly why I have such a negative reaction to this question. We all know that what people are really asking is, “What is your ethnic heritage?” And, really, I don’t mind talking about my ethnic heritage. In fact, I enjoy sharing this kind of information with other people. It’s one of the things I love best about me.

Four Truths I’ve Learned From My Open Letter and From a Few Generations

- by Dannika Nash, reposted with permission -

Two months ago, I posted on my blog an open letter to the church about the change I see coming to this nation with the passion my generation (and other generations) is developing for equality of all kinds. I was totally unprepared for the reaction: I’ve been honored and cursed for my assertions; I was fired from my Christian summer camp job, but most importantly, I’ve had a multitude of conversations with just about every perspective you can think of. I still stand outspokenly by the claims I made—I still believe the church has a responsibility to take the LGBT population very seriously in their pleas to be included. I still think the church is primarily prioritizing their political inertia over the cries of the marginalized, and I still believe that change is inevitable because of my generation and their readiness to embrace the movement that is coming. However, the conversations I got to have after the post really taught me a few valuable truths. I want to share some of the truths I’ve learned from people: gay people, straight people, old people, young people, my family, my professors, my pastors, my best friends, Christians, atheists, South Dakotans, Californians, liberals, and conservatives. Thanks to everyone who is taking the time to read and write and participate in this extremely important conversation, and as always, I welcome responses from any perspective.

Dear UMC, please welcome abandoned Boy Scout troops

- by Avery Blake Garner -

Hiking along the Slyamore Creek in the Ozark Mountains.
Camping at The Narrows on Greers Ferry Lake. 
Huddled into an old Army tent with no floor trying to stay dry during a thunderstorm in Little Rock. 
Building a monkey bridge on the fairgrounds in Searcy. 
Sleeping in converted school buses on a New Year’s Eve in 30-degree weather.  
Staying up too late laughing and waking up with the sun to the smell of bacon and eggs frying.

I’m not entirely sure when conservative Christians decided to coopt The Boy Scouts of America.  I’m just thankful they chose not to do it during the 1980s when I was a member.  My sexuality was never in question for most people when I was growing up.  I remember being called faggot and queer on the playground as early as age eight, but if it ever happened while I was a Scout at a scouting event I don’t remember it.

Even Me? How Speaking Out as an Ally has Affirmed My Faith

- by Holli Long -

On an August afternoon last fall, I sat in front of my computer screen with tears streaming down my face.  Maybe you did as well.  For plastered all over my Facebook wall were photos of so many proudly eating a chicken sandwich in the name of American values, many in the name of Jesus.

I’m guessing you saw them, too.

Sure, you can say this was a free speech issue, but somehow I don’t remember this same general population organizing a Dixie Chicks Appreciation Day after the always vocal country music group also had exercised their free speech.

As someone trying to find my place within the Christian faith, I initially believed this to be a major setback.  This was not my Christianity on display.  This was not representative of what I believe. Surely there was a different message of Christianity we might proclaim on this day.

An e-mail conversation with a pastor later that night helped me find hope.  She mentioned the Reconciling Ministries Network.

Now, I need to mention that it didn’t come as a shock to me that she was a member.  I knew I belonged to a church where it was okay, even encouraged, to ask the hard questions.  It was a safe place for me to struggle with my faith at times.  And it was okay for me to ask for guidance regarding my frustrations over a chicken sandwich.

Pastor comes out to his bishop for marriage equality

(watch a local news interview of Rev. Stephen Heiss here)

To Bishop Mark Webb, my brother in Christ!

In the spirit of the One who said the truth will set us free, and emboldened by the freedom given by grace for which Jesus lived and died, I want and need to share with you how God has led me (and many of our colleagues) in ministries to help set at liberty those who have been held captive by the tyranny against people who are gay.

The Boy Scouts and the culture of prejudice

- by Rev. Gil Caldwell -

My wife Grace, an English Literature Major, is much better acquainted with the writings of William Shakespeare than am I. But in my efforts to keep up with her, I at times have quoted slices of Shakespeare, without pretending to be fully acquainted with the plays in which the quotations are found.

Thus, "What Fools We Mortals Be" from Shakespeare's "A Midsummer's NIght's Dream", as spoken by the elf Puck, has been helpful and descriptive as I have observed the foolishness of racist and heterosexist words and actions. I have never suggested that there is an equivalence in the prejudice, oppression and legally sanctioned discrimination experienced by persons who are black and persons who are gay. But, there are similarities in prejudice, oppression and discrimination that are worth noting. I believe that as we re-visit the challenging justice journeys of Black persons, we experience a deepened understanding of racism that equips us to more effectively combat homophobia and heterosexism.

The fooolishness of the racism that kept Black baseball players from participating in Major League Baseball is vividly displayed in the film "42"; the story of Jackie Robinson as he became a member of the Brooklyn Dodgers. Racist opposition from fans, opposing teams as well as his team mates, was experienced not only by Robinson in baseball, but by Black athletes as they were the "firsts" in professional football, basketball and hockey. And, with the dominance of the Williams sisters in tennis, and Tiger Woods in golf today, we cannot help but ackknowledge the racist foolishness that once enforced exclusion and segregation of Black athletes.

Violence Should Be Concern for The United Methodist Church

- Press release by RMN and MFSA, click here to download -

CHICAGO,IL and WASHINGTON, DC – May 24, 2013 – As discussions about marriage equality, inclusive Scouting, and LGBT ordination loom as annual (regional) conferences of The United Methodist Church begin to gather across the United States, the past week has shown the pervasive, violent nature of homophobia and heterosexism in the nation’s largest city. Anti-gay hate crimes are on the rise in New York City, and in one situation, after an incident of harassment which included the hurling of anti-gay slurs, one man, Mark Carson, was shot to death.

Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) and the Methodist Federation for Social Action (MFSA) implore The United Methodist Church at all levels to live into our United Methodist Social Principles by supporting efforts to stop violence against all persons, regardless of sexual orientation (¶162J). Cooperative efforts with local congregations and LGBT services agencies can provide a first step for living out acts of justice and compassion in accordance to Scripture and Wesleyan tradition.

“Hate crimes are committed with the intention of erasing a person’s very being—to tear them apart—to dismember. But, every time we remember someone like Mark Carson, we frustrate the intentions of his killer,” said Matt Berryman, executive director of RMN. “To remember LGBTQ victims of hate crimes is to change the very culture that killed them. In Holy Communion, we have the image of bread being broken, reminding us of the violence, hate, and dismembering committed against Jesus, but we are called to remember Christ’s life, and to live out his teachings showing that brokenness and death ultimately give way to new life. There is an urgency of now for us to remember the Mark Carsons with actions that dismember the power of hate, violence, and bigotry.”

Chett Pritchett, interim executive director of MFSA also spoke out against the violence. “Whether in the form of isolated murders with illegal and unnecessary weapons, state-sponsored war and occupation, or attacks against those who are assumed to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, violence in all its forms is anathema to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This isn’t an issue confined to America’s cities or small towns; violence is happening across the globe and our Church should be in the business of curbing such violence.”

Both Berryman and Pritchett applaud the efforts of New York area Bishop Martin D. McLee for his statement regarding violence against LGBT persons. In a letter to the New York Annual (regional) Conference, McLee states:

While the perpetrator has been arrested, the problem of bias crimes directed at members of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning Community continues. As Christians, we are called to respond. Let us begin by offering prayers for the victims and families of those harmed by hate crimes. I encourage pastors to provide anti-bias leadership by teaching and preaching about the harm of directing violence against anyone.

RMN and MFSA encourage United Methodists to see how current church policy claiming “homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching” creates a culture of shaming and violence in both Church and wider society. “Often, justification for such egregious crimes is founded upon carefully taught religious dogma of the kind we see in The United Methodist Church's teaching concerning LGBT persons. It is time for the church to acknowledge its prominent role in enabling such a rationale. A pattern for the proper redress of such harms from a perspective of Biblical Obedience would include honest confession of sin alongside a true commitment to change.” said Berryman.

Reconciling Ministries Network mobilizes United Methodists of all sexual orientations and gender identities to transform our Church and world into the full expression of Christ’s inclusive love. RMN envisions a renewed and vibrant Wesleyan movement that is biblically and theologically centered. As committed disciples of Jesus Christ, RMN strives to transform the world by living out the Gospel’s teachings of grace, love, justice and inclusion for all of God’s children.

Since 1907, the Methodist Federation for Social Action has worked to mobilize, lead, and sustain a progressive movement, energizing people to be agents of God’s justice, peace, and reconciliation. As an independent, faith-based organization, MFSA leads both Church and society on issues of peace, poverty, people’s rights, progressive issues, and justice within The United Methodist Church.

 

###

 

Celebrating 25 Years of Being a Single-Issue Church

- by Scott Morris, pictures from SFUMC 25th Anniversary of being Reconciling -

Saint Francis in the Foothills United Methodist Church has long been accused of being a single-issue church, and I want to acknowledge that the charge is true.  The church had been working on this since its inception, but 25 years ago St. Francis decided to take a radical step to formalize its commitment to being a single-issue church. The nature of the single-issue charge is that St. Francis UMC welcomes lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people at the expense of all other forms of ministry.  I would like to describe the single-issue a little differently.  I am guessing that your congregation might be struggling with how to take on the same issue.

My Confirmation Journey

- by Claire Young, age 11 -

When my Mom told me that the Confirmation class was going to begin, I was really excited. I’ve seen other Confirmation classes at other churches and it looked fun and important. I’ve always known that the United Methodist Church was where I wanted to grow up and participate. But then it actually happened and it wasn’t as easy as I expected. Honestly? It was pretty hard.  Once the decision was really up to me, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be confirmed in the United Methodist Church because I disagree with the church on some big stuff. There were three things that made it a hard decision. 

First, the United Methodist Church discriminates against Gays and Lesbians. That’s a huge deal to me. I’m sure that one day we’ll come to our senses and get it right and that makes it a little easier, but since we haven't yet, part of me didn't want to join a denomination that discriminates. From the very beginning we’re taught to love our neighbor as ourselves but the church doesn’t always do that. It’s hypocritical. 

Gay Kids Cannot Become Responsible Citizens

To take action in this last week before The BSA takes a vote on ending the ban on gay Scouts, call your local council: https://www.scoutsforequality.com/action/. 

The Boy Scouts of America will prepare every eligible youth in America to become a responsible, participating citizen and leader who is guided by the Scout Oath and Law.” 

– Boy Scouts of America Mission Statement

- by Jarell Wilson -

I never made it to actually becoming a boy scout, I stopped at Bear Scout which isn’t the lowest level, but it is certainly not the highest level (that would be Eagle). A busy schedule and schoolwork stopped me from fully participating in the BSA after 3^rd grade, so I went onto other organized groups like student council, flag football, and basketball; but there are lessons from the Boy Scouts I have never forgotten...

Red on yellow, kill a fellow; red on black venom lack
Tying a knot
Shooting a gun
Pitching a tent
Starting a fire
Interact with boys my own age (something I hated)
Talking sports, and a host of other things.

When I heard that the Boy Scouts were weeding out gay scouts and scoutmasters my heart ached for them. I felt pain not just for the victims of discrimination, but also for the perpetuators of it who are teaching the heterosexual scouts that it is okay to discriminate and demean others. I felt ashamed because I, like thousands of other queer people had participated in this “Christian-based” organization. I wondered why gay elementary kids were not “eligible youth” and why they too cannot learn to become “responsible, participating citizens”. When I saw that The United Methodist Men stood by this decision I was outraged, how dare they claim to be Methodist and make such a barbaric claim – that even gay kids are worthy of oppression and exclusion.

Another Eagle Scout speaks out for equality

 

To take action in this last week before The BSA takes a vote on ending the ban on gay Scouts, call your local council: https://www.scoutsforequality.com/action/. 

 

Dear Boy Scouts of America,

I am an Eagle Scout.  My father was an Eagle Scout.  During my Eagle Scout interview, I was asked where I saw myself in 10 years; I answered that I hoped to have started a family, and eventually have  a son or daughter joining the Scouting program.  I was a bit off on my timeline, but not my desire.  This year, my wife gave birth to our first child, and I sincerely hope that when he is old enough there still exists a Scouting program that I would be proud to see him join.

An excerpt from my old Scout Handbook that I keep to this day:

A Scout is Friendly: He offers his friendship to people of all races and nations, and respects them even if their beliefs and customs are different from his own.

A Scout is Kind: He treats others as he wants to be treated.

A Scout is Obedient: He obeys the laws of his community and country. If he thinks these rules and laws are unfair, he tries to have them changed in an orderly manner.

A Scout is Brave: He has the courage to stand for what he thinks is right.

Excluding gays from Scouting is thoroughly against the Scout Law, and everything the BSA should be standing for.  It is the cowards way out, giving in to baseless and shameful fears, instead of fighting for morality.  The BSA has been losing youth membership since my days in it, and it is a terrible tragedy to deny Scouting's positive influence on children based simply and unjustly on their sexual orientation.

If the ban on gay Scouts and gay leaders continues, there will definitely not be a third generation of Eagle Scouts in my family.

~Jason Walker,

Eagle Scout, 2000, Troop 25, North Florida Council

 

To take action in this last week before The BSA takes a vote on ending the ban on gay Scouts, call your local council: https://www.scoutsforequality.com/action/. 

Dear Boy Scouts of America, Be inclusive. Sincerely yours, Eagle Scout

To take action in this last week before The BSA takes a vote on ending the ban on gay Scouts, call your local council: https://www.scoutsforequality.com/action/. 

 

Dear Boy Scouts of America,

I would applaud Boy Scouts of America if it permitted openly gay scouts to fully participate in Scouts. However, the Scouts must also accept openly gay Assistant Scoutmasters and Scoutmasters. Anything less still amounts to a clear, implicit message that homosexuality is an abomination so horrible that it, alone, undermines the full value and integrity of that person. 

If I learned anything in Boy Scouts, it's that you earn an Eagle Scout rank based in large part on what you do for other people. You have to earn merit badges such as Citizenship in the Community, Nation, and World. All these merit badges are designed to teach us the importance of being an active, positive influence in the world. Scouts have to learn First Aid so that we can help other people when they are in dire need. The Scout slogan is "Do a Good Turn Daily." The Scout Law says that a Scout is Helpful. The Scout oath makes us promise to "Help Other People at all Times." Most importantly, Eagle Scouts must do a project that has a profoundly positive impact on other people in the community, at no cost to the community. In short, to be an Eagle Scout, it is tantamount that you serve other people.

The importance of serving other people is tantamount to Reverance, and the Scout Law says that a Scout is Reverent. Importantly, God doesn't ask us to do good works to earn God's favor. God asks us to accept God as our Savior. But our acceptance of God causes us to do good works for other people.

A rule barring gay young men from participating in scouts, or in leadership, goes against the importance of the axiom that Scouting is about helping other people at all times. What it says is that we value our Scouts based in large part on how much they help other people, unless of course they're gay. Then, no matter how much service is apart of their heart, and no matter how much service they actually do for other people, they're not worthy because they're gay. A gay person might have fed an entire community after a natural disaster for his Eagle project but, no matter, he's not leadership material because he's gay. Such a stance undermines the very core values of Scouting.

Discrimination: Okay with firewood. Not okay with people.

To take action in this last week before The BSA takes a vote on ending the ban on gay Scouts, call your local council: https://www.scoutsforequality.com/action/. 

May 16, 2013 

Dear National Executive Committee of The Boyscouts of America, 

As a Cub Scout, Webelos and Boy Scout I learned valuable lessons for life from this great American institution. Just this past weekend the opportunity to camp with the local Boy Scout Troop provided me respite and time for deep reflection into the social struggles of our time. Setting up tents, collecting firewood and starting a lean two fire to cook a Pineapple Upside Down cake involved teaching five young scouts a lesson or two about cooking fires. One of those lessons had to do with selecting the right firewood: Pine versus Oak; Sweet Gum versus Black Walnut; and Sugar Maple versus Eastern Red Cedar to name a few. The other lesson to teach these impressionable scouts is that all males regardless of their sexual orientation should be able to learn how to safely start a campfire.

In scouting there is reason to discriminate against a particular type of firewood based on flammable qualities. But there is no reason to perpetuate discrimination against boys who self identify as gay, bisexual or transgender.

This is one reason why I, wholeheartedly, support the proposed amendment striking the ban on gay boys from participating in The Boy Scouts of America (BSA). 

As a Charter Organization Representative of the sponsoring organization (Wadley First United Methodist Church of Alabama) I have conveyed to The Greater Alabama Council the desires of the congregation that I pastor and the leadership of the troop to change the current policy of discriminating against openly gay boys. The current policy is unenforceable, for nowhere in the application process is a prospective scout asked his sexual orientation. As a legalist and a strict egalitarian I view this social issue from a perspective of what constitutes justice for all not what appeases the status quo. Furthermore, as a religious leader who interprets Holy Scripture for guidance and wisdom I do not find justification to continue the discriminatory policy of The Boy Scouts of America in excluding openly gay boys from the character development and leadership training that is a hallmark of this American institution. 

John Wesley’s Case for LGBTQ Ordination

- by Mary Ann Kaiser -

There have always been disagreements about what it takes to be a minister. From the earliest days of our movement the faithful have been in tension with one another over the credentials necessary for a life of vocational ministry. Within our denomination alone we have changed our mind a few times ever expanding the circle of who can be ordained. Almost 60 years since we approved the ordination of women, we find ourselves again in the midst of disagreement. Should LGBTQ persons now be invited into this circle? The opinions vary widely and few expect that to change quickly. In the meantime, how do we handle this diversity of thought about who should or shouldn’t be ordained?

John Wesley struggled with the question in 1750. He looked at the words of Christ for an answer and as a result he produced a sermon entitled “A Caution against Bigotry” based off of the text of Mark 9:

John said to him, ‘Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.’ But Jesus said, ‘Do not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterwards to speak evil of me.

Wesley begins his sermon by describing the type of people the disciples might be upset about in the text. What do they mean when they tell Jesus “he was not following us?” Wesley says the disciples were talking about people who, on the moderate side, differed in their approaches to scripture, ritual, or church government and also something as extreme as those who advocate for what we find to be anti-scriptural, anti-tradition, or even anti-Christian.

While his sharp conviction surprised me, the long and short of Wesley’s sermon is that none of these aforementioned folks should be kept from being ordained if indeed they are “casting out devils.” Of course, Wesley himself was quick to say he did not mean literal exorcism, but instead producing the obvious fruits of God’s work – counseling, preaching, teaching and serving in such a way that lives are transformed. It seems to be less important to Jesus and to Wesley who the person is and more important whether or not God’s work is being done.

To those who believe lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans folk (to use the words of his sermon) are “utterly false and erroneous in doctrine,” “dangerously wrong in practice,” “guilty of gross superstition as well as idolatry,” or have “dropped one whole commandment of God and made void several of the rest,” and thus maintain the stance of the Book of Discipline, (BOD) this sermon might be an honest challenge. While Wesley is not interested in affirming these things in other people or in saying they are not doing any wrong, he is still adamant that even these people should be ordained if they are “casting out devils.”

I, personally, have witnessed many devils being cast out by people who happen to be LGBTQ. My own life has been transformed by the preaching, teaching, and counseling of my former seminary peers who were queer. I am ever amazed at the devoted service of LGBTQ persons across the country, who despite their slim to none chance of ordination, continue to serve God and The UMC with great faith. I know that I am not the only one to have witnessed the hand of God working through queer people. I know there are others even, who may disagree with “homosexuality,” but can still attest to the good work of God being done by an LGBTQ person they’ve met or heard about.

And these are the people Wesley is speaking to. He understands the sorts of convictions that make people want to keep the BOD as is. He affirms the intentions. He shares the perspective. But, he is worried about the result. He is concerned for those who restrict anyone (if they are casting out devils) from ministry because of a different perspective, practice, or even interpretation of scripture. He says himself, “But what if a man (sic) has these [gifts necessary to edify the church of Christ]…and the Bishop will not ordain him? Then the bishop does ‘forbid him to cast out devils’. But I dare not forbid him…when I have reasonable proof that any man does cast out devils, whatever others do I dare not forbid him, lest I be found even to fight against God.’”

No one can cast out devils without the help of God. Because of this, we can surmise that wherever such “exorcism” is taking place, no matter the sexual orientation or any other characteristic of the minister, God is choosing to act through that person. To stop the person from continuing in ministry is to get in the way of the work of God. The criteria for ordination, for Wesley and for Jesus, seem to be less about big picture ideas or values and more about God’s interaction with an individual. Are they producing fruit? Are they accomplishing the task to which we are called? Are they transforming the world? Then they should not be restricted from ordination over any sort of difference. Otherwise, we have to ask with Wesley, who would be so bold as to stand in the way of the work of God.

“Be not content with not forbidding any that cast out devils. ‘Tis well to go thus far; but do not stop here. If you will avoid all bigotry, go on. In every instance of this kind, whatever the instrument be, acknowledge the finger of God. And not only acknowledge but rejoice in his work and praise his name with thanksgiving.” – John Wesley

 

. . .

Mary Ann Kaiser is a recent graduate of Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. She has a passion for working in the intersections of church and society. Her love for religious approaches to questions of ethics, particularly in the realms of race, gender, and sexuality, led her to internships at WATER (Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics, and Ritual) in Silver Spring, MD and Texas Freedom Network in Austin, TX. She has also worked for the Wesley Foundation and as a hospital chaplain. She currently serves as Youth Director and Justice Associate at University UMC in Austin and is pursuing ordination as a Deacon in The UMC. In her free time, she blogs for Reconciling Ministries Network.

Talk is Cheap. Truth is Expensive.

- by Rev. Dr. Pamela Lightsey, RMN Board of Dirctors member -  

Rev. Dr. Thomas Ogletree, a retired UMC elder, retired dean of Yale Divinity School of Divinity and former dean at Drew Theological Seminary, may now be the next clergy to face a church trial as a result of officiating the wedding ceremony of his son Thomas to Nicholas Haddad. While such weddings are legal in New York, they remain a chargeable offense in United Methodist Church polity, which states, “Ceremonies that celebrate homosexual unions shall not be conducted by our ministers and shall  not be conducted in our churches” (BOD ¶ 341.6). Clergy considered to have violated church law are subject to having a complaint brought against  them thus beginning a very tedious process of investigations, possible trial and possible conviction with penalties imposed. It has been reported that, in the case of Dr. Ogletree, an attempt was made to resolve the complaint without it necessitating a court trial. As the parties could not reach resolution, the bishop of the NY area, Bishop Martin McLee was then compelled by church law to refer the complaint to counsel for the Church (see BOD ¶ 363).

I have taken the time to present a synopsis of the highly publicized beginnings of yet another potential UMC trial for a matter related to the church’s discriminatory stance against LGBTQ persons. The collection of facts is available from various sources. It’s important to know these matters if we are to follow the tradition of the nonviolent campaign for civil rights handed down to us by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and other leaders of the 20^th century civil rights movement. In his epic piece, Letter from a Birmingham Jail, Dr. King wrote these words, “In any nonviolent campaign there are four basic steps: collection of the facts to determine whether injustices exist; negotiation; self-purification; and direct action.” These words are seldom quoted at our annual celebrations in honor of this great man of peace and justice yet some of us have made them a crucial part of our work. They are words we attempt to live by each day. Having grown up in that era, these words, this methodology is the foundation for my work to eradicate discriminatory laws against LGBTQ persons such as myself. I am reflecting upon these words as I consider, most especially, the bishop involved in processing the complaint made against Dr. Ogletree.

It seems to me that we are at the point of wanting to implement direct action without having done the sincere work of self-purification. We want to “do something” against the injustice we know exists and to which we have tried negotiation but failed to reach a sustainable resolution. “We WILL defy church law!’ we proclaim. Bishop McLee has been critiqued for “not standing up against the institution.” But I wonder how successful we will be without having done the hard job of handling our own internal challenges, especially that of racism and classism. Talk is cheap. Truth is expensive.

Both McLee and Ogletree are now subject to the conservative right wing strategy to “divide and to diminish” our community by going after our bishops and clergy and to put us at odds with one another.  The decisions each of these men made possibly included weighing possible financial loss, suspension or revoking of credentials. It is easy for us to talk about what Bishop McLee should have done. It is another matter to understand UMC polity and to have the resources in place to help our other clergy take such actions without fearing their livelihood. Or are we so adamant as to declare that “for the cause” we all must be willing to be brought to financial and cultural ruin? Is this the yardstick upon which we measure each other’s commitment?

Even more, how seriously can white LGBTQ folks and allies be taken after working so hard to collaborate with persons of color, only to attack an African American ally who made the incredibly hard choice of following church law? Do we have any idea of the all he stood to lose? Until America overcomes its racism - both outside and within the LGBTQ community – we had better have a serious game plan in place that includes repentance to admit our internal bigotry and a strategy to overcome not only the financial risks but also the burdens imposed by our various cultural histories. In this case, “Black man rises to the episcopacy and gives it up as a matter of principle,” is not a choice I can imagine now or the near future. I dare say this would be true of any bishop, though I can only speak with knowledge of my context.

As I think of the possible sacrifices to be born, I recall one Black church in NY that has given Christians the saying attributed to Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “cheap grace.” The term was actually coined by Rev. Adam Clayton Powell, pastor of Abyssinian Baptist Church, where Bonhoeffer worshipped while a student at Union Theological Seminary. Clayton used this term to speak against the racism so embedded in white conservative and liberal ideologies then and now. Are we really prepared to take direct action against the United Methodist Church? Or are we just “talking loud and saying nothing,” practicing “cheap grace,” and a certain kind of idealism that cannot be received as earnest by the poor, by women and by people of color within our community?

Bishop Talbert has rightly declared that discriminatory church laws “no longer deserve our loyalty and obedience.” He called it right. Now we must do the work to take into account the cost that truth requires and to developing a plan of action that says beforehand “this is how we will support you.” We have the volunteers, we have the skills, we have access to the data, and we have a great organization. The price is so high that only together can we make it happen. Not the few but all of us doing all that is within our capacity.

We don’t need any more martyrs but we do need the entire village working together to embody the truth of one of our favorite statements: “All means ALL.”

. . .

Rev. Dr. Pamela R. Lightsey is an ordained elder of the Northern Illinois Conference of The United Methodist Church serving as Associate Dean for Community Life and Lifelong Learning at Boston University School of Theology. In addition to this work, Dr. Lightsey serves as co-chair of the Womanist Approaches to Religion and Society Group of the American Academy of Religion. Her scholarly work has been published in several online journals and web-blogs and she has contributed to numerous publications: “Inner Dictum: A Womanist Reflection From the Queer Realm.” In Black Theology Journal 10.3 (2012); Proclamation and Embodiment and If There Should Come a Word in Black United Methodist Preach! ed. Gennifer Brooks. Abingdon Press. 2012 and Reconciliation in Prophetic Evangelicals: Envisioning a Just and Peaceable Kingdom, eds. Malinda Berry, Bruce Benson and Peter Heltzel.  Eerdmans Publication. 2012 An Army veteran and mother whose son served in Iraq, Dr. Lightsey is active in social justice ministries but particularly those focusing on global peace, LGBTQ civil rights, eradicating racism and the engagement of viable reconciliation methodologies. RMN’s history and work is contiguous with her own experiences. She has worked with RMN and supported its several programs and is happy to offer her scholarship and ministry skills to the organization. Pamela hopes to help RMN especially to understand and further support the unique challenges of being a queer person of color.

Top 10 things I learned by coming out

- by Mary Ann Kaiser -

One of my favorite things about working in ministry is the opportunity to accompany people through major life events – like the union of two people, the death of a loved one, the struggle of an illness, or the inclusion of a new child into the community – and to do so with an eye towards the transcendent. The church helps us to recognize the sacredness of the secular and provides us with a community to spiritually process our journeys.

Most churches are not yet in a place to recognize the “coming-out” process as a major life event which deserves as much ritual, theological interpretation, and counseling as other aspects of hetero-normative life. Until that changes, and until coming-out is no longer needed, it is up to LGBTQ people and allies to be church – via spaces like RMN, LGBTQ fellowship groups in churches, and even the twittersphere. Until the church can provide the much needed support and guidance to LGBTQ folks, especially our young ones, it is up to us to fill in the gaps and share stories, experiences, and wisdom gained so no one is left to figure these things out alone.

For such reasons, I offer these insights that have been shared with me or gleaned from my own experiences of coming-out. Because every coming-out experience is different and aspects such as race, gender, ethnicity, and class will affect the process, there will inevitably be a number of queers who would disagree with my suggestions or would prioritize other ones. They are right too. There are so many ways to come-out (or to not come-out – some people simply cannot given their contexts) and by sharing these experiences and others we can fill in the gaps of church together as we look forward to the day we don’t have to. Here are the top ten things I learned through coming-out and from the help of my friends.

1.      You don’t have to have it all figured out
No one has the whole sexuality thing figured out to detail, and no one should expect you to either. Maybe you feel lesbian today but you’ll realize your bi in a year. That’s ok. Labels can be helpful, but they’re not a necessity. You don’t have to justify the value of previous romantic experiences or answer questions that you don’t know the answer to or that make you uncomfortable. Coming-out is about sharing what you do understand about yourself, not answering the world’s questions about sexuality and gender identity. That’s not in the “being queer” job description, unless you want it to be.

2.      You teach people how to respond to you
When I first started coming-out to people, I was so scared when I shared my big news that I sounded very ambivalent about it. It became obvious to me that this was really confusing for some of my straight friends. They clearly didn’t know how I felt about it so it was hard to know how they were supposed to respond. If you want people to celebrate with you because you are excited, try to share the news with joy and confidence. You wouldn’t believe how much your own presentation makes a subconscious difference in people’s response. Of course this won’t be the case for everyone, but for those well-meaning folks that don’t really know what they’re supposed to say, your presentation goes a long way and might help you get the support you’re seeking.

3.      Everything you’re feeling is ok/normal/part of the process
If most of your coming-out experiences go well, but for some reason you still feel anxious, a little discombobulated, a little unsure of what this new identity means, that’s normal, normal, normal. It’s an emotional process to finally accept yourself for who you are (after however many years) and to share that new identity with the world. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. Take note of LGBTQ folks and allies you feel safe to vent, cry, celebrate, and struggle with – those people will be church for you

4.      It is important to leave room for surprise – for better or for worse
That person you think is going to cuss you out or end your friendship when you tell them you’re queer might very well do that, but they might also surprise you and say something crazy like “ok, whatever makes you happy.” Be open to that. On the other hand, that person you have heard support LGBTQ folks in abstract a million times could also be the person that seems disappointed or just neutral when YOU come-out. Be prepared for that. The important thing is that you remember who God created you to be, no matter how people react. Most (though certainly not all) people who respond negatively at first, will change with time. Don’t let your expectations be your guide, let your support system and your assurance that you are a beloved child of God be what leads you.

5.      Coming-out is a life-long process
When I came out, I called or met with almost everyone I was close to within a matter of weeks. I wanted the news out there and over with so I could move on with my life. I realized with time though, that coming-out never ends. After coming-out to those closest to me, then I had to do so on facebook and other digital social spheres, and in the classroom, and at work, and to new people I met.  There was an intimate element of coming-out that ended once I shared my news with those closest to me, but I continue to come-out every day in new spaces and relationships.

6. Reading LGBTQ blogs, books, and watching LGBTQ movies matters
As you learn more about LGBTQ history and current day LGBTQ cultures, you might find you have more in common with other LGBTQ folk than you might imagine, even if you’re just coming-out. It’s important to feel a part of the greater queer story and movement. It’s vital to remember you’re not in this alone, and connecting your own interests and stories with others who share your experiences can be fun, healing, and inspiring.

7. There will be times you are forced to choose one value over another
It’s helpful to spend some time thinking about what’s most important to you. Is it integrity? Is it family? Is it a movement? Is it your church? While you’re probably thinking “yes” to all of these, unfortunately, you’ll likely have to choose one over another at times. As long as heterosexism remains, queers are forced to make difficult decisions about how to identify, when to reveal one’s sexual or gender identity, and when to pass – if you’re able. While time and context will affect your decision, it’s helpful to give some time to thinking about what’s most important to you. Will you choose to take a stand to be who you are or will you let some heterosexism slide in order to maintain your place in your church? There are no easy or clear or perhaps even “right” answers for having to choose one value over the other. Prayer, talking with other queer folks, and trial and error go a long ways.

8.      Timing is important
Thanksgiving dinner might not be the best timing to break the news to family. While there may never be perfect timing, do give some thought to what time and space will make it the easiest on all involved to be their best selves.

9.      It’s ok if you mess-up
You might regret an approach you made, overreact or even underact. It’s ok. You’re queer AND human. We all make mistakes. Apologize where needed, and cut yourself some slack. Neither church nor society has been helpful in preparing you for this journey.

 

10.  It’s ok if you’re not ready
If your family life, work life, or geographical location have you concerned about coming-out, that’s ok – it’s nobody’s choice to make but yours. With freedom often comes loss and it can be a hard jump to make. The good news is that coming-out was worth every bit of its difficulty in the liberation it provided for me and I know many others who would say the same. In fact, I have yet to meet someone who regretted their decision to come-out.

Whether you’re thinking of coming-out, intend on staying closeted, or are a long-time veteran of living out and proud, may we be church for one another -  filling in the gaps of community support, theology, and ritual - as we continuously invite the UMC to join us. 

. . .

Mary Ann Kaiser is a recent graduate of Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. She has a passion for working in the intersections of church and society. Her love for religious approaches to questions of ethics, particularly in the realms of race, gender, and sexuality, led her to internships at WATER (Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics, and Ritual) in Silver Spring, MD and Texas Freedom Network in Austin, TX. She has also worked for the Wesley Foundation and as a hospital chaplain. She currently serves as Youth Director and Justice Associate at University UMC in Austin and is pursuing ordination as a Deacon in The UMC. In her free time, she blogs for Reconciling Ministries Network.

 

Praying in closets

- by anonymous United Methodist seminary student -

Matthew 6:5-6 “And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”

I remember hearing these verses for the first time in my second grade Sunday school class in my United Methodist Church.  My Sunday school teacher, Mrs. Martha, told us we should go pray by ourselves in our bedrooms in order to pray correctly.  I was deeply concerned that God wouldn’t hear my prayers because I shared my bedroom with my one of my siblings, so in all of my seven-year-old wisdom I asked Mrs. Martha where could I pray privately if I shared my bedroom.  She jokingly replied, “you could always pray in your closet.”  Ever since second grade, I read this passage from Matthew 6 as Jesus’ imperative to pray in our closets.

You might not know this about me, but I have done A LOT of praying in closets. 

Some of these prayers were prayed during tornado warnings as my family huddled together in my parent’s walk-in closet.  Some were prayed as I stood before my closet in high school as I frantically searched for a not-so-noticeably-stained school uniform shirt.  Most of these prayers took place inside “the closet” where I prayed the same have dozen prayers for several years.   These prayers included asking God to forgive me for being attracted to other girls, pleading for God to take away this burden that was disgusting and unnatural, and begging God to stop tempting me.  “I love God, not girls,” became my mantra.  These were the prayers I prayed in secret for many years.

I prayed some of my prayers on the threshold a closet.  I stood with my father’s gun and thought how easy it would be to load one cartridge, put the barrel in my mouth, and pull the trigger. 

The smell of gun steel and stock oil were like an incense that carried my prayer as I prayed for God to shine a light of hope in my soul that was consumed by the darkness of depression and self-loathing.  John 1:5 says,

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.

God did not take away the same-sex attraction or my depression, but the light of God’s love and presence shined in a very visible way that week.  God used a sunny fall day and a Duke Divinity preceptor to say, “you are a beloved child of God, you are not a mistake, you are loved.”  She help me realize that I am the imago Dei.  She walked with me to make an appointment at CAPS, and that began my journey of faithfully living out my calling to serve God and authentically living outside the closet, free from shame and hatred.

During this journey I prayed a lot as I slowly inched out of the closet.   I prayed for guidance as I discerned which of my family and friends I could come out to.  I prayed that God would grant me patience and compassion as I sat with loved ones and answered questions that could be uncomfortable or invasive.  Most of all, I prayed that my loved ones would continue to love me.  I didn’t so much care if they agreed with me or if they judged me, because I only wanted to know they still loved me.  It took a while for me to tell my parents.  I was had no idea how they would respond to the news that their aspiring United Methodist pastor, daughter is a lesbian.  As I struggled to form the words,

“Mom… Dad… I’m gay,” I prayed, “Lord, let your will be done.” 

After the initial shock of my revelation wore off, both of my parents said something I did not expect, “We love you, and there is nothing you say or do that will change that.”  After we hugged and had a good cry together – I was struck by the way my parent’s love for me reflected God’s love for me.  From that moment, Romans 8:38-39 took on a new meaning for me,

“For I am convinced that neither life nor death, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, not powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

You might be wondering, what do I pray now that I am standing outside of the closet?  Like any good United Methodist, I turned to the words of John Wesley:

I am no longer my own, but thine.  Put me to what though wilt, rank me with whom though wilt… Le me be employed by thee or laid aside for the… I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal. And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, thou art mine, and I am thine.  So be it. 

As I stand in this space, with my back to an empty closet of secrecy and shame, I hear Jesus’ words in Matthew 6 as words of comfort an assurance.  No matter how much I try to hide who I am, my God is a God who “sees in secret.” Jesus tells his disciples to pray in the closet, not to hide who they are, but to encounter the Lord our God.  We love and worship a God who meets us in our darkest moments and says, “you are my beloved, in whom I am well pleased.”  Thanks be to God!

. . .

Submitted by an anonymous Duke Divinity student who loves reading John Wesley sermons and cheering for her Blue Devils. 

If you are having suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK ( 1-800-273-8255).

A Love Letter to the United Methodist Church

- by Rev. Vicki Flippin, originally posted at Church of the Village, reprinted with permission -

The Rev. Dr. Thomas Ogletree, United Methodist clergy, former seminary dean, Social Ethics professor, and father.

This week, the New York Times published an article about United Methodist pastor, former seminary dean, Social Ethics professor, and father, the Rev. Dr. Thomas Ogletree. Last year, Rev. Ogletree performed the wedding of his son to another man, a chargeable offense in the United Methodist Church. A complaint has been filed against him, which may lead to a church trial. Another clergy colleague and I were also named in the article as United Methodist ministers who have performed same-sex weddings. This is my response.

In 2008 I committed my first act of discrimination in the name of God. A young lesbian couple—members of my church who called me their pastor, parishioners who had welcomed me into their home and hospital rooms for prayer, full participants in the ministry of our community—made an appointment with me. With smiles on their faces, they told me that they had just gotten engaged and wanted me to perform their wedding in their beloved home church. These women were not trying to do anything radical. They were blissfully ignorant of the heated and hurtful battles within the church about whether they were sacred or sinful, family or abomination, beloved or beyond the reach of God’s love. They just wanted to commit to each other before God and church.

I said no. I did what my church asked me to do. I did not agree with it, but I was afraid of losing my job and my church and the work I felt called to do. So I blessed their cake standing next to a justice of the peace in a hotel ballroom, choosing to stand in judgment before my God instead of before my church.

For Such a Time as This

- by Rob Lee -

There’s a somewhat obscure verse in the book of Esther that we have heard made into hymns, songs and catchy phrases that help us get through the day. Esther is making the tough decision as to whether or not to help the Jewish people who are set to be persecuted, she has a discussion with Mordecai, who finally in what seems like desperation declares,

“For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for such a time as this.”

This is it. Honestly and truly, this is the time when the fate of our mission and ministry within the church hangs in the balance. The United Methodist Church is the flagship (or at least the largest) of Mainline Protestantism within our country. For all intents and purposes, our voice is a resounding voice within the Christian community. I’m starting to wonder if perhaps we have come to such monikers for this time and this place.

For all of us working for inclusion, Dr. Ogletree isn’t the only one who might stand on trial. All we work for, all that we have strived for, all that we know about the character of our denomination will be on trial as well. For such a time as this we were called to an understanding that God’s love will always err on the side of inclusion. For such a time as this we have shed tears, effort and energy to make this denomination truly a place of ‘open hearts, open minds, and open doors.’ For such a time as this we were forged in the holy fires of love and grace to make a difference.

Reason and Experience: United Methodist Resources for Correcting Our Course

For background: read RMN's press release and the New York Times article.

- by Rev. Dr. Thomas W. Ogletree -

As a lifelong United Methodist, an ordained elder in the New York Annual Conference, and a scholar specializing in theological and social ethics, I am profoundly grateful for the efforts of Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN), their affiliate Methodists in New Directions (MIND), and similar organizations throughout the denomination, to foster marriage equality for LGBT persons within United Methodist practices.  Such equality is fully congruent with the inclusive vision of the “Mission and Ministry” of The United Methodist Church (cf. Part III, Sec. VI of the Book of Discipline), though same-sex civil unions and marriages are currently prohibited by Disciplinary rules.  

Throughout most of my career I have served as a professor in theological schools and university-based divinity schools, which included terms as dean at Drew Theological Seminary and Yale University Divinity School.  In these various roles I was a strong advocate for inclusive visions of the Christian mission, embracing issues of race, gender, class, national origin, and sexual orientation.  Given the academic focus of my ministry, I was rarely asked to conduct marriage ceremonies, so I gave little attention to Disciplinary rules that prohibited pastors from celebrating same-sex civil unions or from presiding over same-sex marriage ceremonies in states where they were legal.  However, when my son, Thomas Rimbey  Ogletree, asked me to preside over his wedding to Nicholas William Haddad, I was deeply honored.  There was no way that I could with integrity have declined his request, even though my action was designated as a “chargeable offense” by The United Methodist Discipline (cf. par. 2702).  Tom and Nick are men of maturity, wisdom, and integrity, and their exceptional bonds with each other have enhanced their commitments to foster a more just and inclusive society that serves the well-being of all people.  Performing their wedding was one of the most significant ritual acts of my life as a pastor!

Why it matters that Jason Collins came out as black and gay rather than simply gay

- by Saeed Jones ‏@theferocity, reprinted with permission -

Image by Michael Dwyer, File / AP

About 10 minutes after Jason Collins' coming-out essay in Sports Illustrated hit the internet, one thing became clear: No statement, however sincere, is sacred in the social age. Even an essay as heartfelt as Collins' — and heartfelt it is — has to endure the commentary, chatter, analysis, and white noise that are now integral to the way we experience national news. Some people, gay voices among them, found his essay to be "awkward" and "wishy-washy." Others have taken issue with his professed rejection of the "gay stereotype." To say nothing of the inane comments made by Chris Broussard and Howard Kurtz among others.

Such chatter is to be expected, but there's one particular strain of comments that I've found especially noteworthy. More than a few people have questioned, chafed, and commented on Collins' decision to identify himself as a black gay man — rather than simply as a gay man. And that's where I step into the ring.

Love The Sinner: Read A Book

- by Holli Long - originally published on Believe Out Loud

 

“Love the sinner. Hate the sin.”

How many times do we hear this, particularly in response to the debate over homosexuality in the church? I cannot count the number of comments and conversations that begin something like this: 

"As Christians, we love everyone. We love the sinner, but hate the sin. Haven’t you read the following Bible verses...?"

 

Here’s why I hate that expression. There seems to be a whole lot more hating of the sin going on. (And, yes, I’ve read those six Bible verses. I’ve also read some others.)

It’s easy to say we love everyone. It’s easy to use faith as a crutch.

It’s easy to make a blanket statement about such a profoundly difficult thing as to love everyone. Everyone?

It’s not easy to practice what we preach.

Thumped

- by Holli Long -

Have you ever been Bible thumped?

Perhaps, recently, by one of these:

Genesis 19:1-5, Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Corinthians 6:9-10, Timothy 1:9-10, Romans 1:21-31

I have a few bruises, too.  I can just about recite those clobber verses with my eyes closed.

So, yes.  I’ve read them.

(I think it’s safe to say we’ve pretty much all read them.)

Still, often, when I write, I find these verses are thrown like stones.  At me.  At others.  My skin is getting thicker by the day.  My bruises heal.

A Young person's concern for The UMC

- by an anonomous first year UM seminarian, writing for MoSAIC -

Esteemed readers, every so often, I am called upon to write about queer United Methodist things for the internet. And, because I’m petty and opinionated but also afraid of confrontation, I usually take the opportunity to write about things said to me in private conversation, and why they’re wrong. So, with your permission, I’d like to take a moment to do that.

I’ve spoken to several lately on the topic of the Book of Discipline, and why we must obey it even when it’s wrong (as it tends to be on issues relevant to the lives of queer folks). Reasons for this argument typically fall somewhere along the lines of

• “if we disobey the Discipline now, what’s to stop conservatives from disobeying it once homophobic language has finally been excised?” 
• “clergy who disobey the Discipline become a law unto themselves”
• “if you took a vow to uphold the Discipline, and you break that,  it’s just wrong.”

Let me make this clear, readers: I have immense respect for those who feel called to uphold the Discipline. There is a degree of honor in holding to one’s word, even when you’d rather not. However, I also disagree with this sentiment.

the words in red

- by Sara Rutherford Woody -

Growing up I was well-churched. We rarely missed a Sunday, rarely missed a Wednesday night youth group, and for as long as I can remember, my parents held Bible studies weekly at our house. 

I have always enjoyed the Old Testament. The stories never seem to get tiresome, and I am grateful to have been read them from a young age (not only because it often improves my Jeopardy score). Even in high school I remember writing a report on the book of Esther, one of my favorites, and loving the research it took to really understand the deeper aspects of her story.

The New Testament has been a different story. It’s funny, considering how much more “lighthearted” it seems, with a lack of the harshness that is portrayed by God’s judgment on the evils that are unrelentingly discussed in the Old Testament, but I just never took to it like I had the OT. And now, in the midst of questioning whether or not I even consider myself a Christian, it seems to be a lack that might ultimately, in the opinions of many, be the death of me.

Same-sex couple to wed at RMN convocation

- by Rev. Andy Oliver -

They met while in seminary. “Seeing her was the first time in my life I was taken aback by someone’s presence. I instantly thought who is this woman,” said Mary Ann Kaiser. That was the beginning of a love story between Mary Ann and Annanda—a journey that is leading them to the wedding aisle at Reconciling Ministries Network’s convocation Labor Day weekend in Maryland, where same-sex marriage is legal.

“Choosing to get married isn’t all about us. It is a response to God’s call on our lives to be one,” said Annanda Barclay, second year seminary student currently serving at Central Presbyterian Church in Austin, Texas. “It is a spiritual act. Civil rights are a beautiful thing and should be realized for all couples, but marriage is rooted in Christ’s expression of love. We now get to be a sign to the world of what that love looks like, in our love for each other.”

Why It’s So Hard to Be Quiet

- by Mandy Mizelle –

When I was in second grade, two of my young colleagues continued talking when the class was supposed to be quiet.  We had to prove we could collectively behave for more than 30 seconds before our teacher would let us go out to the playground.  Being the goody-two-Chucks that I was, I politely asked my friends -- in whispered plea -- to be quiet.  Didn’t they know some of us had a big kickball game on the line?

Anyone who has ever been in second grade knows what happened next: I got in trouble for talking.  My teacher promptly walked over and marked an indelible X on my weekly conduct chart.  She and, later, my mom whispered their own exasperated plea: why is it so hard to be quiet? Apparently the question was rhetorical; they didn’t seem to care that that was exactly what I was trying to find out in my peer intervention!

As hard as it is to be quiet, it’s even harder to be quieted.  But that is the experience of many of our youth who are continually silenced because of sexual orientation or gender identity, who are afraid to simply be who they are in one of the spaces they should feel most welcome and safe: school. Today, we stand in solidarity with our LGBT sisters and brothers, young and old, by sitting in silence with that awful and unacceptable reality. 

The Day of Silence is a student-led movement to bring awareness to the bullying and harassment of LGBT students.  The vow of silence taken by middle school to college students -- to “professional” students in the School of Life -- symbolizes the silencing of many LGBT youth who live in fear of degradation and abuse.  It subverts the suppressive effect of bullying by becoming a powerful witness of nonviolent resistance to injustice.  Think Greensboro Four.  Think Rosa Parks.

Day of Silence: Our Silence Speaks Volumes

The National Day of Silence is a day of action in which students across the country vow to take a form of silence to call attention to the silencing effect of anti-LGBT bullying and harassment in schools.

- by Jarell Wilson -

I was never a fan of silent witnessing growing up. I was raised in a non-denominational setting which is essentially like being Baptist, but with really trendy Ikea furniture.

Growing up I was groomed to believe that it was my personal responsibility to lead everyone I met to Jesus, or “sow a seed” so that someone else could “save” that person. Other people mentioned their weak “silent witnessing”, ironically that’s the primary mode of witness for American Methodists now. I would define silent witnessing as living like Christ to draw people in, instead of just explicitly just telling them the Gospel. As a gay man, I have grown especially fond of silent witnessing.

Reconciling faith and spirituality

- by Pastor Joseph Tolton -

Hear RMN convocation speaker Pastor Joseph Tolton share his story of his work personally and professionally to reconcile faith and spirituality. Hear more of Joseph's story by registering for convocation at www.rmnetwork.org/cq13 .

. . .

(June 17, 2012) LGBT Faith Leaders of African Descent of New York City conceived a project in late 2010 that could increase participation in and help promote harmony between seemingly disparate communities -- the Black Church and Black Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transgendered People -- and save lives.

The organization selected Robert Penn productions to create visual records of ten personal stories of self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-actualization in both church and sexual minority communities. Eight of the bios were screened at a première event on June 16, 2012. The personal journeys conveyed in these shorts could help others reconcile within themselves and among their families and friends, as well as, stop the prevailing trends of ostracism, bullying, harassment, killing and even suicide of young LGBT people of African descent.

LGBT Faith Leaders of African Descent is a membership organization formed to challenge discrimination and exclusionary practices and politics that affect the well-being of LGBT people.

 

 

Creating community where all feel loved

- by Jay Elliott -

The theological and biblical arguments about homosexuality are a well-traveled area. Many of us can give basic outlines of both sides of the arguments.  Perhaps what is more surprising are the objections we get from folks who share our biblical understanding. We hear things like:  “Why do you want to pursue that issue? You’ll split our church!” or “Why should we become a one issue church?” or more directly, “I don’t want to become The Gay Church!”

When I was asked to attend the Reconciling Ministries process coach training, I was pleased. “Finally!” I thought.  I was excited that someone would equip me with the tools I need to fight both those who hold on to a literalist Biblical interpretation and those who simply don’t care enough about this issue to fight for justice!  So it was with that rather simplistic attitude that I earnestly marched off to what I was expecting to be “Boot Camp” for the coming fight to make Kessler Park UMC a Reconciling Congregation.”

I arrived Friday afternoon and things progressed much like any convention or retreat one attends with The Church: I registered, signed in and got my nametag, found a seat, greeted those I knew and shared introductions with those I didn’t. After a few minutes, I heard an unmistakable sound. Tibetan Tingsha (small cymbals used for meditation or other rituals) called us together. It was a surprising beginning. Cymbals used for meditation were not quite what one expects from “Boot Camp!” It was then that I began to understand that things were going to be a bit different.

Called to be extremists

- by Rev. Andy Oliver, RMN Director of Communication -

Today, on the 50^th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “Letter From a Birmingham Jail” and on the morning after the act of terror at The Boston Marathon, here are words of intersection… As we hear the word “extremist” being used in the media to describe unimaginable hate, Dr. King's letter beacons us, still to be a different type of extremist.

  

Excerpt from MLK’s Letter From a Birmingham Jail, 50 years later:

Was not Jesus an extremist for love: "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." 

Was not Amos an extremist for justice: "Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever flowing stream."

Was not Paul an extremist for the Christian gospel: "I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus."

Was not Martin Luther an extremist: "Here I stand; I cannot do otherwise, so help me God."

And John Bunyan: "I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a butchery of my conscience."

And Abraham Lincoln: "This nation cannot survive half slave and half free."

And Thomas Jefferson: "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal . . ."

So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice?

In that dramatic scene on Calvary's hill three men were crucified. We must never forget that all three were crucified for the same crime—the crime of extremism. Two were extremists for immorality, and thus fell below their environment.

The other, Jesus Christ, was an extremist for love, truth and goodness, and thereby rose above his environment. Perhaps the South, the nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.

Click here to read the full letter.

. . .

Rev. Andy Oliver is an elder from The Florida Conference of the United Methodist Church serving as RMN's Director of Communications. Andy has two children: Liam, 4 and Evan, 1. Andy received his B.S. in Public Relations from The University of Florida and his M.Div. from Duke Divinity School. His other passions include immigrant and farmworker rights, and The University of Florida and Duke University athletics. Connect with him on social media at www.andyoliver.me

 

 

Invocation

- by Britt Cox -

God of our statue-still moments and God of our joyous dancing,
You hold us near when we encounter pain and find ourselves paralyzed
And you spin us around with delight by partnering us on our journey

As we come to this place, O God, may we find greater meaning, and authenticity
May we see you extending your hand asking us to sit near or to wildly dance
May the anxious places in our lives be quieted 
So that we can make room for your presence to mold and shape
Our fears into hopes
Our doubts into dreams
Our mourning into dancing

Find us new places we have never known and touch us anew
So we may go touch the world in places otherwise unseen
May we live out your desire for this world

. . .

Britt Cox is a self identified foodie, United Methodist, a justice seeker, great dancer, Texan, advocate, traveler, activist, grassroots organizer, and mystic. Her vocational hope is to become an ordained United Methodist pastor working toward justice and equality within the church and world. She is a recent Chicago transplant from Austin, TX and currently attends Chicago Theological Seminary in the Master of Divinity program with a concentration in LGBTQ studies. Before moving to Chicago she developed a community violence prevention program while working at a crisis center for women and children. She has also served with Reconciling Ministries Network for the last four years in multiple capacities most recently as a Jurisdictional Organizer and as a legislative coordinator at General Conference. Currently she is serving at Holy Covenant UMC as a ministry intern. 

Christ > General Conference

- by Anne Lynch, MoSAIC Representative on RMN’s Board of Directors -

Why am I a United Methodist? It’s a fair question. I didn’t grow up in this denomination. To be fair, it’s a bit of a stretch to say I grew up in the church at all; I’m more of a convert.

I know what you’re thinking. A young person? Converting to United Methodism? Is cloning legal yet? Because we need more of those in this denomination! Well, maybe none of y’all reading this particular blog are thinking that, but I’ve heard enough United Methodists proclaim the denominational need for young’uns that I’m familiar with the rhetoric.

It’s funny though. I remember sitting down with my very first pastor, the United Methodist campus minister at American University, as he explained different aspects about the “UMC” (ah, the introduction to anagrams), particularly the fact that different congregations in the denomination can have very different leanings across the political spectrum. And I remember thinking, “A church that doesn’t force everyone to agree, that is open to diversity of opinion and can respect each other? That’s so cool!”

Little did I know that not everyone agreed with me that diversity is a good thing. Nor had a realized that although my campus ministry was “reconciling,” there were rules in some Discipline book thing that forbade equality on a number of different issues facing the LGBTQIA(etc) community. Whoops.

One Year After General Conference: I have the Methodist Blues

- by Rob Lee -

Garrison Keillor is coming to Appalachian State University next week, the iconic radio voice of the Prairie Home Companion has some rather insightful things to say about Methodists, including this song called The Methodist Blues:

Been going to church since I was a boy. 
Now I'm old and I'm low on joy. 
I feel tired, is there something I missed? 
Or is it just that I'm Methodist? 
I got the Methodist blues.

Sit in the sanctuary Sunday morn. 
Minister talks about being reborn. 
I've got a load of guilt that I've been carryin. 
I wonder if I shoulda been Unitarian.

The organ is soupy and the pastor is bland. 
Leave afterward and I shake his hand.
Sometimes I'd like to shake my fist. 
That's what it's like to be Methodist. 
I got the Methodist blues.

Lot of odd people sitting in the pews
. They want the sermon to reflect their views.
some of these Christians, they are the rudest. 
Maybe I ought to try being Buddhist?

People gossip about who did what, 
the ladies circle is a pain in the butt. 
Want to slap their face or at least their wrist. 
But I can't cause I am a Methodist. 
I got the Methodist blues.

It's not easy being Methodist. 
Troubles? We got a whole long list. 
We're too rational, too Socratic. 
Sometimes I wish we were charismatic.

We're not big on shows and dances, 
mixed drinks or big romances. 
I've been hugged but never French kissed. 
At least not by a Methodist. 
I got the Methodist blues.

The same ten people always volunteer, 
half of them old, the others just weird, 
I got the blues and I'm getting more bluish…
Maybe Jewish?

Everyone's afraid of change. 
Don't like anything new or strange.
or we get our underwear in a twist
That's how it is with a Methodist
I got the Methodist blues.

God put us here to serve a mission. 
But we spend big bucks to air condition. 
And in winter we heat it to make it uterine, 
I could be Lutheran.

We were founded by John Wesley, 
not Chuck Berry or Elvis Presley. We're not so hip but we persist. 
We go on being Methodist. 
We got the Methodist blues.

            

I remember very vividly coming home from General Conference and one person asked me what I accomplished and I burst into tears. I felt like we accomplished the silencing of a marginalized people, I felt like budgets and numbers took more importance than beloved children of God.

One year ago this month, we gathered around a table and sang hymns, celebrated the Eucharist, and were caught in the crosshairs of a politically-charged battle over inclusion. I remember seeing my friends, people I love beside themselves because they weren’t given a chance to celebrate who they are and who God created them to be. I started to realize that the United Methodist Church would never be able to realize who we are and who God created us to be until we celebrate diversity within our ranks.

Yes, you could say I have the Methodist blues. Anytime some says conference I cringe. It’s a dark spot on the underbelly of a church I love. Pundits and professors predict that we will eventually face greater woes, words like split and schism are thrown around like child’s play. One of my professors asked me the other day if I was enjoying the last years of United Methodism as we know it.

Maybe I’m naïve, ignorant or too optimistic but General Conference 2012 wasn’t the beginning of the end. Maybe just maybe it was a call to action of a different kind. The church is on the move, we’re not where we were, and we’re not where we’re going. The identity crisis of the Methodist Church will be defined either as a scar or fatal by what we do here in the years leading up to 2016 and beyond.

I debated writing this article for a long time. General Conference is a memory I cherish but it’s also a reminder that it’s going to take people who don’t have the power now to change the course of Methodism. Reconciling Ministries is a wonderful entity that isn’t trying to change policy from the top-down; we’re all getting together and talking, telling our stories, and affecting change on a grassroots level.

Now is our call to action. The wounds are starting to heal; the pain is a little duller. This is our time to change the course of a denomination we love. I’ve stopped listening to the voices that say that the church is a by-gone institution and we should let it go its way and we’ll go ours. The answer to our problems is not schisms, splits or committees. The answer to our problems as a denomination is a grace that transcends our conception of discipline and leads to real social change.

If I’m ever lucky enough to have a family, and we look back on the 2012 General Conference in Tampa, Florida, I want to be able to say with joy that the loudest voice of oppression was not the resounding voice. That 2012 and the years that followed was a turning point for people called Methodists, that we took grace, love, and equality seriously, and we abandoned our misconceptions and fears and sailed towards the open seas of inclusion. It’s just a hope, but I think we’re all tired of the Methodist blues. 

. . .

Rob Lee, 20, is a lifelong United Methodist and member of Broad Street United Methodist Church in Statesville, North Carolina. Rob is an undergraduate religious studies major at Appalachian State University in Boone, North Carolina. Rob is an advocate within the church from a General Conference (2012 Delegate) to the local church level. Rob has a weekly column in the Statesville Record and Landmark and other North Carolina papers. Rob is a blogger who blogged and wrote stories for UMCommunications during the 2012 General Conference. Rob has plans to attend seminary, and continue to advocate for justice within the church. Rob enjoys movies, friends and hiking. He lives in Boone with his dog Rusty. 

Coming out again at 60: Second Time around at Mason UMC

- by Judy Whittier -

I rejoined my Methodist church 7 years ago. I had left as a teenager. I "came out" in my 20s (am now in my 60s) and have told a few groups at my church and have been accepted and treated no differently. This week I put my story in the church's newsletter and I expect there will be positive results. I would hope eventually that my church, Mason UMC of Tacoma, WA will become part of the reconciliation family...

When my sister and I came back to Mason UMC and rejoined in June 2006. I had no expectations of what my experience at the church would be or how long it would last. I had left as a teenager and stayed away for 40+ years, from Mason or any other church.

Certainly, the most obvious reason for my staying away was that as a gay person, I felt I would not necessarily be accepted if that fact was known. I had lived through and survived the "witch" hunts while in the Womens' Army Corps during the 60s.  My life as a civilian was also hidden from most family and co-workers when I eventually moved back to Tacoma with my life partner. Over the years, I have heard pretty much everything negative about the gay "lifestyle" and have had some unpleasant experiences.

Almost from the beginning at Mason in 2006, I became very involved in church activities and tried pretty much everything. I have found a few things I really enjoy and plan to continue as long as I can. One of the first classes I went to in 2006 was conducted by Gene and Bob. Bob talked about defending a Methodist minister who had been brought up on charges because she told the truth about being a lesbian. As the conversation swirled around me, internally I thought, if I were to ever "come out" to anyone it would be Bob.

Up until 2010, I told only one person at church about me. In the meantime, I continued to come to church pretty much every Sunday and stayed involved in various activities. In October of 2010 another class with Gene and Bob was the beginning of openess for me. It was definitely not planned but because of the subject of that day's dvd and comments by a couple of the members in class and I just "came out". I don't remember too much of the rest of the comments as I was very emotional and did kind of break down. When I got home I made a comment on Facebook about it and wondered what would be the effect in the future and realized that only time would tell.

As of this writing since 2010, I have come out to a couple of groups, totally unplanned, with positive results. I have also been in and told of discussions where other members of the congregation have spoken in positive terms when the subject of reconciliation and/or use of the church for same-sex marriage has been raised.

For me personally, as the opportunity presents itself, I have shared parts of my life that I would never have done when I first got to Mason. I feel comfortable at church with the friends I have made and an acceptance I never expected. Part of a recent sermon by Pastor Bonnie about healing really struck me. As I was listening, I thought, I am being healed: 99.9% of all that negativity directed toward a person like me for many, many years has been slowly melting away. I am at home among the people of Mason United Methodist Church.

OPEN DOOR POLICY?

- by Carlos J. Rios, reposted with permission -

Photo credit: Muffinn/ flickr

On Saturday I met my good friend, Chris, and his fiancée Cristi, who were visiting New York. The three of us went to college together and unlike many of the people I met in college, I’ve managed to maintain in contact with them. We’ve spent New Year’s together in different cities, visited each other near and far, and I’ll be a guest at their wedding in November.

To think that I would have met these people when I attended an extremely conservative, evangelical university is nothing short of a miracle. Although “homosexual activity” was against the university’s rules, I was able to come out to these friends of mine and be completely transparent about who I was. What’s more is that these friends not only accepted me for who I was, but they affirmed God’s love for me.

Flash-forward almost 10 years later and here we are, living completely differently from our undergrad days. As we sat in the charming lounge area of Millesime, each with a cocktail in hand, we caught up on what was going on in our lives. Since I had just come home from our COTV Easter Retreat and had an awesome experience, I shared my excitement and lessons that I had learned while with my church family. Chris, who is a pastor’s son, was very interested in my experiences with church since I had graduated from college, so I told him about the journey I went through after coming out.

An Open Letter to the Church from My Generation

- by Dannika Nash, reprinted with permission from her blog-

 

Church,

I got to go to the Macklemore concert on Friday night. If you want to hear about how that went, ask me, seriously, I want to talk about it until I die. The whole thing was great; but the best part was when Macklemore sang “Same Love.” Augustana’s gym was filled to the ceiling with 5,000 people, mostly aged 18-25, and decked out in thrift store gear (American flag bro-tanks, neon Nikes, MC Hammer pants. My Cowboy boyfriend wore Cowboy boots…not ironically….). The arena was brimming with excitement and adrenaline during every song, but when he started to play “Same Love,” the place about collapsed. Why? While the song is popular everywhere, no one, maybe not even Macklemore, feels its true tension like we do in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. If you’re not familiar, here’s the song:

Stop–did you watch it? Watch it.

Before the song, Macklemore spoke really simple words along the lines of: “Hey, you can all have your own opinions on how we treat gay people in this country, but this is mine.” And I held my breath in anticipation of some kind of uproar or walk-out…but the crowd cheered louder than they had yet. In our red state, in our conservative little city, the 5,000 young people in that arena wanted to hear about marriage equality.

During the song, almost every person at the concert had their hands up and their eyes closed…it reminded me of church. The whole crowd spoke every word with Macklemore. We were thirsty for those words. We want to hear about equality and love in a gentle way. We’re sick of the harsh words of both sides. Say what you want about my generation, but we can smell fake from a mile away. This rapper from Seattle had brought us truth in song form, and we all knew it. I live in such a conservative bubble that I couldn’t believe the crowd’s positive, thankful reaction. But I shouldn’t have been surprised. No one knows the tension of that song like my generation in South Dakota does. So many of us were brought up in churches and Christian homes, and even if we weren’t, we’ve experienced the traditional Christian culture that just resonates from South Dakota’s prairie land. We know conservatism; we know tradition. But we also have Twitter, we watch SNL, we listen to Macklemore, and we read Tina Fey. We’re more in touch with the rest of the country than the Midwest has ever been. Some of us love the church and some of us hate it, but there aren’t too many people for whom it’s irrelevant. So when Macklemore takes on that tension with his poetry, his South Dakota audience listened. We practically yelled with him when he spoke the lyrics:

When I was at church, they taught me something else: if you preach hate at the service, those words aren’t anointed. That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned.

We yelled because we knew that holy water too well. We knew that hateful preaching too well. We had all been hurt by it in one way or another.

My point in writing this isn’t to protect gay people. Things are changing—the world is becoming a safer place for my gay friends. They’re going to get equal rights. I’m writing this because I’m worried about the safety of the Church. The Church keeps scratching its head, wondering why 70% of 23-30 year-olds who were brought up in church leave. I’m going to offer a pretty candid answer, and it’s going to make some people upset, but I care about the Church too much to be quiet. We’re scared of change. We always have been. When scientists proposed that the Earth could be moving through space, church bishops condemned the teaching, citing Psalm 104:5 to say that God “set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.” But the scientific theory continued, and the Church still exists. I’m saying this: we cannot keep pitting the church against humanity, or progress.

DON’T hear me saying that we can’t fight culture on anything. Lots of things in culture are absolutely contradictory to love and equality, and we should be battling those things. The way culture treats women, or pornography? Get AT that, church. I’ll be right there with you. But my generation, the generation that can smell bullshit, especially holy bullshit, from a mile away, will not stick around to see the church fight gay marriage against our better judgment. It’s my generation who is overwhelmingly supporting marriage equality, and Church, as a young person and as a theologian, it is not in your best interest to give them that ultimatum.

My whole life, I’ve been told again and again that Christianity is not conducive with homosexuality. It just doesn’t work out. I was forced to choose between the love I had for my gay friends and so-called biblical authority. I chose gay people, and I’m willing to wager I’m not the only one. I said, “If the Bible really says this about gay people, I’m not too keen on trusting what it says about God.” And I left my church. It has only been lately that I have seen evidence that the Bible could be saying something completely different about love and equality.

So, my advice to you, the Church: if you’re looking for some intelligent biblical liberal opinions on the subject, have a little coffee chat with your local Methodist or Episcopal pastor. Christians can be all aboutgay people, it’s possible. People do it every day with a clear biblical conscience. Find out if you think there’s truth in that view before you sweep us under the rug. You CAN have a conservative view on gay marriage, or gay ordination. You can. But I want you to have some serious conversations with God, your friends that disagree with you, and maybe even some gay people, Christians or not, before you decide that this one view is worth marginalizing my generation. Weigh those politics against what you’re giving up: us. We want to stay in your churches, we want to hear about your Jesus, but it’s hard to hear about love from a God who doesn’t love our gay friends (and we all have gay friends). Help us find love in the church before we look for it outside.

Oh, and can we please please PLEASE stop changing our Facebook profile pictures to crosses in a protest against gay marriage? You are taking a symbol of hope and redemption and using it to make a political point. No matter what you think, that has to stop. It’s a misrepresentation of what that symbol means.

Love,

A College Kid Who Misses You

 

. . .

From the editor: Dannika Nash attends college at University of Sioux Falls. You can read her brilliant writing on her blog or find her on twitter. Her letter above to the Church went viral... what equality tends to do when given the right words to help it spread. 

An open letter to Pastor Rick Warren on the death of his son Matthew

- by Rev. Gil Caldwell -

Dear Pastor Warren,

I write these words because in the past I have written other words to you. Then, I was responding to your expressed thoughts about lgbt persons and marriage equality. Many persons thought they were anti-gay and disagreed with President Obama's choosing you to deliver the invocation at his 2009 inauguration.

But that was then, and this is now. Whatever differences you and I may have about gay rights are insignificant in these moments when you and your family are grieving over the death of your son Matthew. I know that your congregation, and millions of persons in the USA and in the world who have been influenced by your book, "The Purpose Driven Life" (I am one of those), and your ministry, are in prayerful solidarity with you and your family during these moments. (I also am in that number).

We who are Pastors, need Pastors and sometimes we do not have them. But, I am sure that many, many persons, men and women who are Pastors, are praying for you and wanting to reach out to you. I know that I am representative of the concerns for you and your family that many share.

This letter to you is shaped by a moment in history 45 years. On April 4, 1968, Martin Luther King was assassinated. I, at the time was active in the Civil Rights Movement in Boston and beyond. I have not forgotten that among the expressions of sympathy I and other Black pastors received, were from white Pastors, who were public in their disagreements with the Civil Rights Movement, and with Dr. King. Yet, they understood the impact his death had upon us, and although many of them still held to their resistance to "The Movement" and Martin Luther King, they understood our "hurting" and as Pastors they sought to pastor us. There is something special, powerful and healing when someone who disagrees with us and we with them, sets asides differences and extends to us a word of sympathy, empathy and solidarity.

Pastor Rick Warren, I, Pastor Gil Caldwell, am remembering you and your family in my prayers and thoughts. The Gospel of Matthew ends with these words attributed to Jesus; "...lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." (KJV). As you and your family remember your Matthew, may these words provide strength and comfort.

Sincerely,

Gilbert H. Caldwell.
A retired United Methodist Minister
Asbury Park, New Jersey 

The Slow Build

- by Kenneth J. Pruitt -

 

circa 1995

In 1995, the summer I left for college, I stood in the pulpit at Tennessee Annual Conference to speak in support of a piece of legislation I’d proposed. As a young person interested in studying the claims of my denomination, I was tired of finding affirmations of all of God’s people on one page, and the systemic withholding of privileges to LGBT folks on the next page. I viewed it as hypocrisy, plain and simple. I’d proposed that the conference perform a study of sorts, documenting each mention of human sexuality in the Book of Discipline, regardless of what I knew would be some apparent contradictions. That’s it. It was essentially costless legislation. The conference secretary or a volunteer could have pounded it out in a day. I stood there in that gigantic sanctuary and watched the question get called and the vote taken. I watched the sea of the white-haired faces of men in suits raise their hands.... 

 

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I have a confession to make, dear reader: I was that guy. When you were going to youth group just to have a good time hanging out with your friends and to slam down slices of delivery pizza like it was your job, I was the one wondering why our devotionals didn’t go deep enough. I was one of those lifetime United Methodist laypersons. And I was only a teenager. My Sunday school attendance pin collection would destroy yours. Trust me.

Uniquely Maya

- by Candice Czubernat -

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. 

- Maya Angelou

As a trained therapist, I have spent many years meeting with clients. Yet occasionally, I experience doubt and insecurity.  We all have days where we hear internal voices of not being good enough, or smart enough.  I believe this self-doubt comes from many places, but for many people I think it comes from experiencing themselves as “different.”

As a young girl, I stayed after school to be tutored in reading.  At the time, I understood this extra needed help to mean I wasn’t a good reader and I carried that “truth” with me many years. Rather than embracing myself as someone who was willing to work hard in order to excel at something, I felt “different.”    

Jesus Loves Me – A Healing Lullaby

- by Holli Long -

In many ways, it was a typical morning. 

Brothers playing in the sunroom, TV on in the background, a list too long of things to be done.  The daily routine interrupted when a playful hug-and-giggle fest led to an unintended crash and burn.

Out came my “Mommy the Comforter” hat – a hat which I wear all too often withtwo two-year-old boys finding their way in the wide world – as I scooped up the boo-booed boy (the other escaped unscathed), did my best “accidents happen” bit in toddler terms, and brought my hurting little guy up on my lap for some snuggles.

Pulling a little mommy trick out of my bag, I quickly started in with a current favorite melody as we rocked, hoping to ease the tears and sniffles.

Soon, he was calm enough to offer his own suggestion. Timidly lifting his head off my shoulder, he asked,

“Mommy, I like…Jesus Loves Me?”

Waiting on hope, this side of Easter

- by Mary Ann Kaiser -

Last Friday, love was nailed to a cross and put to death. A three year journey of teaching, healing, and challenging the status quo ended. Hope seemed so far away.

Mary followed love all the way to the cross, wailing and beating her chest, only to watch love breath its last breath. The grief on Saturday was so heavy.

Peter, a devoted follower of love, denied love three times when the cost becomes too great. When all is quiet on Saturday, he is left alone with the weight of his shame and regret.

Joseph, having wrapped love’s body in linen leaving it to rest in a tomb yesterday, would have felt the coldness of death and seeming defeat in love’s body. Surely, the disappointment of Saturday would have him wondering if he misunderstood all of Christ’s lessons. Was this how it was supposed to end?

All who followed Christ, whose lives were transformed by love and a new way of seeing the world, must have felt so lost on this day. Confusion, anger, grief, and hopelessness would accompany those who never imagined this day would come.

Most of us have had our fair share of Holy Saturdays.